When I was younger, I admit I had to reconcile my own racial prejudice. I realized that my feelings were deeply rooted in social conditoning from my family and peers and chose to change course.
The learning never stops, however.
I am grateful my opinions changed—and they changed as I grew older, as I gathered more life experience.
Contrary to what some relatives of mine claimed, I did not double down on these ideas as I aged.
Growth takes many forms.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor -_Word_ asked the online community:
"Adults: Whats one opinion of yours that completely changed when you grew up?"
"As a 13-year-old..."
"As a 13-year-old the fact that my parents would sit down to watch TV on weeknights after dinner made me think they were mindless drones. Turns out they were just tired from work, cooking dinner, dealing with my BS, etc. and just wanted to rest for a few hours before repeating the cycle."
Parents are human too! And just like you, they need breaks from time to time. Always worth remembering.
"The older I get..."
"The older I get the more I find myself saying 'It's not that simple.'"
An excellent point. Life isn't black and white – not by a long shot.
"As a kid..."
"As a kid I was upset with my mom for not getting me some silly thing I wanted because she only had $100 in the bank. I was so sure that $100 is a lot of money. 20 years later I now understand it is not."
It certainly isn't. What does $100 get you these days? Very, very little.
"That staying in..."
"That staying in and relaxing is enjoyable and not boring."
I agree! The older I get, the more I value being at home. It's the greatest.
"Sometimes I still do..."
"I used to care a lot about what everyone thought of me. Sometimes I still do, but as I grew older I realised nobody really thinks about you cause they're too busy thinking about themselves."
When you realize this, it's actually very liberating. I can attest that the moment I realized it changed my life for the better.
"That parents are experts on... parenting. Nosiree, we're all amateurs who just make up as we go along."
Very true. Our parents, as stated earlier, are human. There's no manual – when you're a parent, you're flying by the seat of your pants, hoping you stick the landing.
"As someone who has worked in a municipality, none of your elected (or unelected lol) leaders know s**t about piss."
Do they know piss all about s**t though? I'm asking the real questions here.
"When I was a kid..."
"When I was a kid, I thought what adults did was an example of what I should do. Later, I realized it was just as often an example of what not to do."
Believe it or not, adults do not know everything. In fact, some adults know next to nothing at all. Steer clear of those.
"There are absolutely things you do not want to know."
What's that saying? "What you don't know won't hurt you."
Remember that one? It's quite apt.
"That everything is my moms fault and my dad could do no wrong. Now I realize my mom needs therapy and my dad needs a serious reality check."
Hey, at least you figured this out. Our parents aren't perfect people. Many people have bad parents or disappointing parents. Not everyone comes from the best home, which is a sad fact of life.
Challenge yourself. The more you do that, the more you'll learn and grow. Your opinions will evolve right along with you. You won't be the same person ten years from now... or beyond. Enjoy the ride.
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Not everyone wins the parent lottery.
It's a hard road when you have parents who don't support you or are openly hostile to you.
And the nonsense and cruelty can be subtle.
Sometimes it's the subtlety that's worse.
Redditorsnoofle-sciencewanted to discuss the ways we can all tell how others we're brought up by people who maybe should've rethought breeding. They asked:
"What is a sign you grew up with shi**y parents?"
I got lucky with my parent but I feel others who got the opposite.
Center of...Ill Do It 30 Rock GIFGiphy
"You are in your 40s and still crave attention and validation from anyone at all because you were ignored all the time."
"Even at 31, feeling like if I get close to anyone they'll find a way to take advantage of me."
"I’m not even sure my parents are wholly to blame there, they taught me love is kinda conditionally based on being a success and family means never being comfortable directly opening up. And that truly dealing with things is best done by ignoring or shouting about them. It was other folks who took advantage."
I want nothing...
"The last time I got new tires, my mom made me let her pay for them for me because I didn't have a job and she doesn't want me spending money. Within an hour after, she was already using it as leverage like a, 'I did this for you, now do this for me!' kind of thing. My dad let me reimburse them without her knowing, but still. My parents have caused me to not be comfortable with accepting anything from anyone anymore. Not even a Christmas gift from a close friend."
"Not being able to recognize affection or how to show it healthily."
"Affection gives me panic attacks. I know I'm going to get in deep crap because they're going to follow up with 'since I'm so loving you need to do X' with X being something i know I don't want to do. Haven't lived at home in decades but I still don't trust when people are being genuinely kind and loving. I know the other shoe is going to drop with a whole foot in it."
WorthSad A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"You feel intimidated by everyone around you, you feel like you're never good enough for anyone, no matter how much they tell you that you don't need to try so hard, and you generally have low self-worth."
Some childhoods really are a tragedy.
SorryOh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"Being surprised people will apologize and want to talk out and deal with an issue instead of screaming and pretending everything is fine and never mentioning why there was a fight or argument at all."
"You remember being severely neglected yet you were told 'you are spoiled.'"
"Lots of these hit close to home, but this one hits closest. Especially because my parents use money as a way of trying to keep me around for narcissistic supply."
"'Oh, they're such nice people, look at all they do for you!' Literally all I want in life right now is to not have to depend on them, I'd give every penny I have to not have to spend time with them and just constantly keep my mouth shut about my childhood abuse."
"I once had one of my good friends tell me about how his dad never hugged him or said he loved him and this fantasy he had about his dad holding is head in his hands and telling him he loves him. I promised myself I would do everything I can to make sure my kids feel loved and are used to affection. And it's clear they crave it."
"When you really don’t remember any good times you spent with them."
"My family was mad when I didn't attend my grandfather's funeral last year. I thought about it for a minute... then realized I could not come up with a single positive memory of him or anything nice he ever said to me in my life (I'm 44)."
"I could, however, come up with a very long list of really shi**y things he did and said. So I realized, why would I want to go? Don't want to see anyone else that will be attending anyhow so, nope. I am an adult and I don't have to so I didn't and I am glad for my choice."
peace out...Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy
"You don't talk to them anymore or want them in your life otherwise as an adult (e.g., not inviting them to your wedding, or want them around any potential children you may have)."
People really should have to be licensed to become parents.
Life is fragile.
We're reminded of that every single day.
In a split second, anything and everything can change.
You never know when you may end up in an ER.
RedditorSpinalPrizonwanted to hear about the times life took a sudden unexpected turn. They asked:
"People who were fine one minute, then woke up in the hospital, what happened?"
Thankfully I've only ever fainted. Blackouts and hospital stays give me anxiety.
Knock Outhappy homer simpson GIFGiphy
"I was walking to a birthday party. Next thing I knew, I woke up in an ambulance. I had been struck over the head and was knocked unconscious. I never found out who it was, or what they wanted (they didn't take anything from me)."
"On a business trip in Texas. Me and two co-workers were driving to work, I was in the back passenger seat. Woke up in an ambulance. Got hit by a sprinter van at 50mph and slammed into a guard rail according to the police report. I don't remember any of it. Broke 7 ribs, collar bone, concussion, and fractured two bones in my neck. Took like 7 months to recover, but my neck and shoulder still bother me daily."
"When I was around 8 or 9, my parents went to have dinner at a fancy restaurant. My younger brother was at a friends house and I had a babysitter. When I finally fell asleep I woke up in an ambulance. Turns out my babysitter overdosed me with pills so I wouldn’t wake up whilst she threw a party at my house. She gave me so many I passed out and had a reaction."
"My girlfriend had a thyroid related heart attack, where she was revived and put into a medically induced coma for like 2 weeks, and took her another 2 weeks to come out of it. Then she had to go to in-patient physical therapy for a bit. Talking to her after she woke up, I couldn't help but be astounded how much it f**ked with her memory. It was like she remembered events, people, things and places, but any concept of time went out the window."
"For example, she thought she was living at her ex husband's mom's house, driving a car she had before we met, working at her current job, and knew we were dating. And of course, as those were all simultaneously impossible, she was having a lot of trouble figuring out what was right, and what wasn't."
Hero GrampsWinning Old Man GIF by Great Big StoryGiphy
"I had a severe asthma attack to the point my entire throat closed up. I turned blue and was lying on the kitchen floor. Woke up in my grandads car with a straw in my throat and him banging on my back. Woke up again in the hospital. I was about seven."
I would be a wreck in all of these situations. This is too much.
ErasedAlcohol Memory GIF by funkGiphy
"Hit by a van . Woke up about a month later. My last memory before waking up is my 4th period art class in high school. So it completely erased the last half of the day before and the entire morning of the accident itself."
A Bad Series
"My dad was driving me to school and suddenly I was in my bed! I get up, open my door, and ask my family what just happened! They all simultaneously scream for me to go back to the bed. Apparently I had already asked them what happened six separate times. I had a series of grand mal seizures during the car ride."
"Went from chatty to seizing all of a sudden. My dad called our pediatrician and I was eventually diagnosed with a form of epilepsy. My dad was told to take me home and put me to bed. It was the most disorienting thing I've ever experienced. It took six months to feel normal again. I had a constant sense of newness with familiar things that was very weird."
"I was in elementary school. I stayed home because I had a light fever one day. I took a nap and woke up 3 days later in the hospital with no feeling in my legs. I had contracted viral meningitis, which had cut off the nerves to my lower body. I was bedridden for 3 weeks and spent several more weeks in physical therapy relearning how to walk. The horrors I endured during my stay were traumatic enough, but I still feel lucky. In high school, a fellow classmate had contracted bacterial meningitis, he died two days later."
The Jungle Gym
"I don't know if absolutely plastered counts as being fine one minute, but yeah. I remember being sh**faced sitting on a jungle gym in a park and then waking up the next morning in the hospital with an IV and catheter. Apparently I was found in a coma and had multiple organs shutting down. If I hadn't received medical help I would've died. Am now 3 years sober."
The Ruptureangry chris farley GIFGiphy
"I was at work having a normal day. I went to the toilet and could not get off the floor because I was doubled over in pain."
"I somehow managed to stagger out to where my colleagues were and they called me an ambulance. Got to hospital and had all my clothes and belongings shoved in a bag and was rushed into emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy."
Well I guess some miracles actually do happen. That is all too crazy.
All of us have something that we tend to "geek out" over.
This could be a book, television show, actor, singer or sports team.
But some shows or celebrities have a considerably wider fanbase than others, as evidenced by the terms "Trekkies" or "Beliebers".
Some times, members of these fan bases are so passionate, that they often come off as obnoxious or aggressive, possibly even hurting the reputation of the people or product they go wild over.
Redditor vejack was curious to learn which fan bases the Reddit community tends to find the most off putting, leading them to ask:
"Which is the most toxic community/fan base that you know?"
Everyone has an opinion...
Oof, that's bad...
"It's not a big community, but there are items in the dilapidated bowels of the Chernobyl nuclear plant that are less toxic than the Super Smash Brothers Melee fan base."- CorgisDie
When the creators tell you to back off, take a hint!
"'Rick and Morty'."
"Even the show's creators have had to clash with them and their toxicity."- JeremyZenith·Rick And Morty Facepalm GIFGiphy
I like it, in small doeses...
"I love really enjoy Kpop and am a fan myself, but damn. I sometimes just can't."- Ok-Enthusiasm-6975
Love the animation, the fans, not so much...
"Some anime community’s."- thomas_da_tra1n
Less than heroic behavior
"League of legends."- AllGameProQueen Gg GIF by League of LegendsGiphy
It's just a TV show... tone it down a bit...
"I expected to find this but haven't yet."
"The Supernatural Fandom."
"Other than the whole populous of it are cringe and over the top, getting tattoos of a show detail etc."
"They've literally bullied the show to continue the show past the natural ending, season 5, and for literally half a decade made them try to poop out content that topped the last season, with no where to really go to at that point."
"The consistent push on 'shipping' characters together that make the actors visably uncomfortable."
"The fan base is full of edgy people who gatekeep everything.'- develyn507
All of them!!!
"Are there any non toxic fan bases anymore?"
"The whole idea of people getting together and arguing with anyone that disagrees with them just breeds discontent."- KingGuy420Stop It Neil Patrick Harris GIFGiphy
At least they get them excited about reading...
"No specific authors, but the community of them."- D-Rez
There's nothing wrong with being passionate about something we love.
But when that passion starts to become competitive, even unsafe, can you even still call it a fanbase "community"?
Oh to be a child again.
There are very few people who don't have a memory that runs through their thoughts every so often, which makes them reminisce about their childhood.
Be it staying up way past your bedtime in a blanket tent to watch a scary movie for the first time, or waking up at Christmas hoping that Santa didn't forget the Power Ranger action figure that you can never find in stores.
It's hard not to look back and smile at the good old days every now and then.
Redditor agentMICHAELscarnTLM was curious to hear what memories instantly sent the Reddit community back on a nostalgia trip, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you can bring up right now to unlock some childhood nostalgia for the rest of us?"
How high could you go?
"That feeling when you are going as high as you can go on the swings."
"Hard to describe."- zazzlekdazzle
"What's your function...?"
"Conjunction Junction."- HarlanCulpepper
Before there was facebook.
"That sound of a door opening and shutting on AIM when your friend logs on."- Consistent-Candy6277in trouble lol GIF by Nicky RojoGiphy
"Getting up in the morning on a day it snowed to watch the list of closed schools across the bottom of the news/weather channel hoping your school was closed."- cmokelley213
Does anyone still have a VCR?
"When you'd watch a VHS and it would say 'and now your feature presentation'."- Mickthemouse
A gift bag perennial
"Chinese finger traps."- JbunnyThumperbart simpson help GIFGiphy
Incentive to avoid mistakes.
"An eraser that looks and smells like a very fake strawberry."- zazzlekdazzle
Just don't push too much...
"Flintstones push pop ice creams."- Reveries25
Sleep in? Pffft!
"Waking up super early on Saturday morning before the rest of the family to watch cartoons."- helltothenoyo
"Mom, I think I have the flu..."
"Watching the Price Is Right when you were sick at home."- mayhemy11·
It goes without saying that there are numerous things about being a child that no one misses.
But oh, the things we wish we could do once more.
Then again, are we ever too old for swings?