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People Who Have Moved To Their Dream City Explain How Their Opinion Has Changed

People Who Have Moved To Their Dream City Explain How Their Opinion Has Changed

The grass is always greener.

A cliche saying, but it wouldn't be cliche if it didn't have some merit.

It's easy to dream about living in a certain city or country. But that––and moving there, as expensive as it may be––is the easy part. The hard part is forging a life of some kind.

After Redditor Iseethetrain asked the online community, "People who fetishized a city or country, like NYC or Japan, and then actually took a leap of faith to move there, how has your opinion changed since?" plenty weighed in with their experiences.

As we expected, they're total eye-openers.


"I studied French for a long time..."

Paris, France. I studied French for a long time and eventually moved here to do my master's degree. I do love the city itself - always something to do, amazing museums/art/culture/architecture - and even though like all cities it can be crowded/dirty sometimes, I still enjoy it. The thing that gets me is how hard it is to get to know and become friends with the French (Parisians in particular).

They are perfectly polite but if I didn't have a strong foreign student friend community here it would be much more difficult. There are always exceptions of course - I have a handful of good French friends - but a big factor in why I don't think I can stay in Paris in the long term to settle down (maybe somewhere else in France would be better) is that the coldness can really wear you down. That, and also the bureaucracy. It's unreal.

koalabeardontcare

"I definitely see how city life..."

Giphy

I dreamed of living in NYC as a teen. I was drawn to the theater, the fashion, the excitement. Now I've been living in NYC for about 13 years, basically my entire adult life, and I still love it but my appreciation has changed. A lot of the things that initially attracted me require lots of money, but I've discovered so many new things and met so many wonderful people that I don't miss the loss of that fantasy. I still feel a thrill when I go running over one of the bridges and see the skyline. I love not driving, and being able to find practically any food or specialty shop I want. I am very plugged into the arts here and love to go to live music, readings, lectures, art shows, and performances, so many of which can be enjoyed for little or no money!

I definitely see how city life doesn't appeal to many people but whenever I think of leaving I can't imagine anywhere I might like better.

jinpop

"I'm a small town Midwesterner..."

I'm a small town Midwesterner who really romanticized California (particularly coastal California.) I had the opportunity to move there right after college and it was probably one of the best decisions I'd ever made.

Things I liked: the weather was always perfect (even on rainy days, the temperature was still mild.) There was always something to do. There were so many different beaches and I never got tired of seeing the ocean. I did more hiking in the first year I lived there than I'd ever done in my home state. Lots of good shows and music around the Santa Cruz and SF area. SO MANY GOOD RESTAURANTS. Plus, it felt good to go back to my tiny town and tell people I moved to California.

Things I disliked: It's expensive. The traffic is as bad as they say. There also seems to be an air of ignorance with (not all, but some) people native to the area. For instance, when I told people I was from Iowa, someone asked if we had electricity and running water, another person chimed in that they had a cousin who lived in Montana (which is no where even close to Iowa,) and most people had no idea where to even find Iowa on a map. When you're from a fly over state, you automatically learn which are the "superior" states because they get a lot of coverage in media and entertainment.

allworkandnoYahtzee

"I know for those born and raised in the system..."

Seoul, South Korea!

It's my first experience in a big city, and I'm not disappointed! Public transportation is great, food is amazing... i eat a lot of Japanese food here tbh. Depending on where you are in the city, night life is crazy. And i find the older parts of the city to be absolutely beautiful. I know for those born and raised in the system it's a whole different story, but for a 20 year old foreign student, i can say it's not half bad. As far as the negatives go however, the lack of nature can be hugely depressing, i pay $400 a month for a 50 sq ft room, dining alone can be difficult, and there's always trash everywhere in the streets. Honestly though I think i had a decent grip on reality before coming here. People expect these places to be like an Instagram-esque dream world. But at the end of the day, it's just another place you wake up, do your groceries and pay your bills in. All that fun real life stuff.

Mabelhime

"Rather weird country to obsess about..."q

It was Finland for me. Rather weird country to obsess about, but I started learning the language in high school and fell in love with the culture. Went there for an exchange and was shocked at how close to paradise it was! Beautiful nature, friendly and helpful people, good-quality food and more humane pace of life. It helped that I lived with a wonderful host family in a small town - the people you meet are a huge part of your experience in a place. Best part was getting to learn more Finnish!

Tl;dr Finland was exactly what I fantasized it would be.

EmperorFishcakes

"I had a several month long gap..."

Not as popular but Greece. My maternal grandparents are Greek. It's a big loud friendly group and had been my entire life.

I had a several month long gap before grad school and a great aunt willing to house me so I moved to Patras. The first few weeks were wonderful I did all the tourist things then I realized how forced all of it was. You can't just ever have a friend over it has to be a major production. The food was wonderful but every contractor or small business I interacted with took it at a point of pride to tack on added fees or try to scam me. I was stolen from multiple times. The older people particularly the men had no personal boundaries at all and their wives would hand wave off anything. Everything public that wasn't intended for tourists was falling to pieces. It was just very sad considering how proud I had been of my Greek roots until then.

Polyfckery

"It's what we make of it."

Seattle WA. Spent my first 30 years living up and down the eastern seaboard from PA to GA. I was in grad school in SC and inexplicably Seattle just popped in my head one day - no trigger or anything. For the last 6 months of school (2003) it just consumed me - sight unseen I needed to be there. So that's what I did. Got my degree, packed up my car with no job, place to live or contacts and drove to Seattle.

It could very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy but it was everything I wanted it to be. The city has changed quite a bit with the Amazon explosion but I'm glad I got to live some "old Seattle". There's still plenty of treasure to be mined. Sure the luster is gone but I have a family now and still love to explore the city with my daughter. All my old haunts are gone but the fun now is finding new haunts! It's what we make of it.

ReeveGoesh

"I wanted to go to New Zealand..."

I wanted to go to New Zealand since I was ten and my best friend moved there, I finally went when I was 25 and got a 1-year working visa. It was awesome, I met my husband there, and saw my old friend again.

It's still great, I would live there if they'd have me!

keepthebear

"It was a great learning experience..."

Portland OR. It was great for a while when the rent was cheap and the house I moved into was still populated by friends.

After 3 years, the last of which all my friends had moved away, I realized that Portland is a really fun city, but also that cities in and of themselves are not for me, and that they are only bearable (for me) with friends.

It was a great learning experience, if you can call having your car stolen and broken into all the time "learning". At the initial cost ($300 a month for a room) it was fantastic. Working 4 days a week and paying all my rent with tips? Golden way to end ones 20's.

It's a great city to visit, and the burbs aren't bad at all, I just got jaded and raw from living downtown. I'd gladly live there again if I had friends around and didn't have to park on the street.

You can only convince yourself that a place is awesome for so long when you're by yourself and stepping over hobo scat and broken auto glass constantly.

nutbastard

"Year later I moved there."

Didn't exactly fetishise it, but I was definitely into Germany. I liked the language, the scenery, the ruins and the idealised view I got of the culture there from DW. When I first travelled there I was there for about 3 weeks and loved everything about it.

Years later I moved there. I really struggled with the language. I could read and write it pretty well, but I had little confidence for speaking and couldn't understand it spoken. Most people spoke good English so there wasn't as much need to use German as I really needed - except for official things.

Taxes were the worst thing in the world. I still have nightmares about trying to sort that. Buying, registering and insuring a car. Renting and then moving out of a property. Setting up and later cancelling utilities. Simply knowing where to go to buy/do things I needed to, especially when so many organisations had no or poorly developed websites. Never got used to speaking on the phone.

When I'd solo travelled before, I had no problem meeting people. As part of a couple this time, locals would rarely strike up conversation with us.

I weirdly missed the level of consumerism I was used to. I like just window shopping or buying random cheap items, but the good places for that were few and far between. Trying to find places to shop for gifts was a nightmare. (I'm sure there are lots of amazing stores for that kind of thing. Just they tended to be quite specialised and not always centered in one place). I couldn't even find a place to buy dish brushes!

Being completely landlocked in the height of summer was a somewhat claustrophobic feeling.

The food was not very varied. Every city had the same small range of cuisines, and any one type of restaurant was like all the others of that type. The cheapest meats were things I don't like, like pork, turkey and fish, and potato (which I hate) was everywhere.

People weren't great at modifying their German for non-native speakers, ime, or at least compared to where I was from that had a lot of ESL immigrants. I was laughed at and pedantically corrected for trying sometimes.

But that is all the bad. There was so much good that directly counters any of the bad.

I loved engaging in the language and learnt a lot.

I respected the more old-fashioned type of consumerism, and as I lived in a small village, got really used to cooking every night. I loved the bike rides past strawberry fields and vineries to get to the supermarket. I liked that nothing was open on a Sunday and everyone just chilled out.

I loved that every one of my house neighbours was friendly, accommodating, helpful, and willing to include us in their traditions.

I loved that people would swim (nude!) in the little river when it was hot.

I love that I couldn't automatically understand every single conversation going on around me. I loved the feeling of understanding something and not even remembering if it was said in English or German.

I love that I survived all the trauma of taxes and contracts.

The secluded ruin on the hill in the forest is my favourite place on earth.

I loved the traditional German restaurant in my village and the amazing inexpensive local wines.

I discovered preparations of pork and fish that I could actually handle eating. And it is thanks to the expense of beef that we started our tradition of steak at Christmas.

I have so many amazing memories, but I would not do it again.

FuppingBaxterd

The Best Pickup Lines Of All Time

A Redditor asked: 'what's the best pickup line of all time?'

shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!

United States political map
Clay Banks on Unsplash

Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.

But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.

While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.

Keep reading...Show less
Man peeking through window blinds
Photo by Chris Nguyen on Unsplash

Let's be honest: It's 2023, and times are pretty hard for most of us. We're all just out here, trying to do our best.

But while our instincts sometimes really save our butts, there are other times that our curiosity and impulses might get carried away.

In fact, they might get so carried away, we might find ourselves in some deep, deep trouble.

Redditor Mr_Manta asked:

"How has morbid curiosity screwed you over?"

A Troubling Find

"I found a human femur when I was a teenager and decided to take it home and hide it so I could inspect it."

"I was on exchange in Spain at the time. I didn’t know what to do with it after I brought it home, so like an id**t, I put it in my luggage five weeks later when I flew back home to my family."

"Airport security and I had really, really, really, really, really long talk."

"Edit: To answer all your questions, my friend and I had taken a walk to some cemetery in a roadside town. The population was 81. We thought the town had been abandoned, by the looks of it. We were dumb kids."

"We went to the cemetery and into some abandoned mausoleum. In it were So. Many. Bones. I grabbed a femur cause I was a 15-year-old who loved biology. I took it. That wasn’t cool."

- cowsmilk1994

What in the Pink Floyd...

"I Googled my estranged father's name and found out he died of an overdose, and they turned his cremains into a brick for a homeless memorial wall."

- Planet_Ziltoidia

Not a Smart Google Search

"I once Googled Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. I wanted to see his furniture and stuff. That is NOT what I saw..."

- Efficient-Regular-96

Emergency Medical Technician Troubles

"I work as an EMT, a young EMT so obviously, I’m curious when someone says someone is dead."

"If you are a new EMT, don’t be curious; there isn’t anything good to see just major trauma."

- Individual-Estate758

Accidental Pepper Spray

"I thought this cool lighter was on a keychain, so I pressed the button. Turns out that cool lighter was pepper spray."

- copsdoesntstarttill4

The Horrors of Fire

"From the news: 'The Station nightclub fire occurred on the evening of February 20, 2003, at The Station, a nightclub and hard rock music venue in West Warwick, Rhode Island, United States, killing 100 people and injuring 230.' During a concert by the rock band Great White, a pyrotechnic display ignited flammable acoustic foam in the walls and ceilings surrounding the stage. Within six minutes, the entire building was engulfed in flames.'"

"There is a video shot by a cameraman from a local news outlet showing the start of the fire and approximately 13 minutes of heartbreak as the fire completely engulfed the building. As he circled the building he tried to open doors and call out to let people know that there was a way out, but the smoke was incredibly thick, and all you heard was screaming."

"The part that haunts me the most was the double doors at the front of the building, where people trying to escape were piled like wood in the doorway- one on top of another - people trying to free them couldn’t and eventually had to back off because of the fire. The video ends with the cameraman breaking down as emergency services finally arrived."

- Hot-Bandicoot8066

The Power of Electricity

"As a kid, I knew that you needed two wires for electricity to power an appliance. So I thought it would be a cool idea to let the electricity flow freely from one hole of a power outlet to the other, so I bent a wire in a U-shape and plugged it in."

"With my bare hands. At school, I believe in first grade. 220 Volt network. There was a flash, and I got thrown back, but thought nothing of it until some teachers came running and I got a lecture or two about safety."

- zedman_forever

A Recurring Mistake

"I found a memory card at work (retail). It sat on our desk for over two weeks. One day curiosity won and I stuck it in my phone."

"Memes, pics of family, and old man and old lady intimate parts."

"Then Google surprised me a few years later because it had uploaded them to my Google Drive."

- Itchy_Amphibian3883

Too Close to Home

"Finding out exactly where my dad died. He died in a car accident but I was never sure quite where it happened. I stupidly looked it up and found out it was right by where I lived and even drove past that exact spot plenty of times."

"Yeah, needless to say that did me way more psychological harm than good. I couldn’t handle it. Avoid that area at all costs. My husband got a job out of state and I was happy to move there just so I couldn’t be traumatized by living by that spot anymore."

- ZestyCloseTomato555

All Equal Deaths

"I killed a Rollie pollie when I was little and I still feel terrible about it."

- DoomSayerNih

Fair Enough

"Opening this thread and reading is officially at the top."

- Special_Lemon1487

Most of these entries were absolutely mortifying, and they remind us to be careful about what we're getting ourselves into, even if we're curious.

Otherwise, it can lead to terrible injuries if not terrible memories, which might even be worse, because they're so impossible to forget.

Man enjoying sangria solo
Sangria Señorial/Unsplash

When the cat's away, the mice will play.

That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.

In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.

Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:

"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"

Some people are happy to take up extra space.

Spacious Parking

"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."

– starkpaella

"Genius answer. It always brings joy."

– Heynicejobtoday

Hush

"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."

– 2workigo

"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."

– jaybeeg

Bed Positions

"Sleeping on the diagonal."

– snogweasel

"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."

– downvotingprofile

Quiet Viewing

"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."

– PheonixKernow

These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.

Taste In The Finer Things

"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."

"It’s the little things. 😂"

– aizzo4

All Mine

"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."

– missag_2490

Cheers

"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."

– Tom__mm

"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."

– JLHuston

Screen Time

"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."

– sexrockandroll

"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."

"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."

"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."

– Big-Mine9790

To each his/her/their own.

The Organizer

"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."

– Dependent_Top_4425

"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"

"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."

– Individual-Army811

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."

– holographoc

Establishing Order

"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."

"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."

– Lyeta1_1

When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.

He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.

Which is all well and good.

But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.