
The grass is always greener.
A cliche saying, but it wouldn't be cliche if it didn't have some merit.
It's easy to dream about living in a certain city or country. But that––and moving there, as expensive as it may be––is the easy part. The hard part is forging a life of some kind.
After Redditor Iseethetrain asked the online community, "People who fetishized a city or country, like NYC or Japan, and then actually took a leap of faith to move there, how has your opinion changed since?" plenty weighed in with their experiences.
As we expected, they're total eye-openers.
"I studied French for a long time..."
Paris, France. I studied French for a long time and eventually moved here to do my master's degree. I do love the city itself - always something to do, amazing museums/art/culture/architecture - and even though like all cities it can be crowded/dirty sometimes, I still enjoy it. The thing that gets me is how hard it is to get to know and become friends with the French (Parisians in particular).
They are perfectly polite but if I didn't have a strong foreign student friend community here it would be much more difficult. There are always exceptions of course - I have a handful of good French friends - but a big factor in why I don't think I can stay in Paris in the long term to settle down (maybe somewhere else in France would be better) is that the coldness can really wear you down. That, and also the bureaucracy. It's unreal.
"I definitely see how city life..."
I dreamed of living in NYC as a teen. I was drawn to the theater, the fashion, the excitement. Now I've been living in NYC for about 13 years, basically my entire adult life, and I still love it but my appreciation has changed. A lot of the things that initially attracted me require lots of money, but I've discovered so many new things and met so many wonderful people that I don't miss the loss of that fantasy. I still feel a thrill when I go running over one of the bridges and see the skyline. I love not driving, and being able to find practically any food or specialty shop I want. I am very plugged into the arts here and love to go to live music, readings, lectures, art shows, and performances, so many of which can be enjoyed for little or no money!
I definitely see how city life doesn't appeal to many people but whenever I think of leaving I can't imagine anywhere I might like better.
"I'm a small town Midwesterner..."
I'm a small town Midwesterner who really romanticized California (particularly coastal California.) I had the opportunity to move there right after college and it was probably one of the best decisions I'd ever made.
Things I liked: the weather was always perfect (even on rainy days, the temperature was still mild.) There was always something to do. There were so many different beaches and I never got tired of seeing the ocean. I did more hiking in the first year I lived there than I'd ever done in my home state. Lots of good shows and music around the Santa Cruz and SF area. SO MANY GOOD RESTAURANTS. Plus, it felt good to go back to my tiny town and tell people I moved to California.
Things I disliked: It's expensive. The traffic is as bad as they say. There also seems to be an air of ignorance with (not all, but some) people native to the area. For instance, when I told people I was from Iowa, someone asked if we had electricity and running water, another person chimed in that they had a cousin who lived in Montana (which is no where even close to Iowa,) and most people had no idea where to even find Iowa on a map. When you're from a fly over state, you automatically learn which are the "superior" states because they get a lot of coverage in media and entertainment.
"I know for those born and raised in the system..."
Seoul, South Korea!
It's my first experience in a big city, and I'm not disappointed! Public transportation is great, food is amazing... i eat a lot of Japanese food here tbh. Depending on where you are in the city, night life is crazy. And i find the older parts of the city to be absolutely beautiful. I know for those born and raised in the system it's a whole different story, but for a 20 year old foreign student, i can say it's not half bad. As far as the negatives go however, the lack of nature can be hugely depressing, i pay $400 a month for a 50 sq ft room, dining alone can be difficult, and there's always trash everywhere in the streets. Honestly though I think i had a decent grip on reality before coming here. People expect these places to be like an Instagram-esque dream world. But at the end of the day, it's just another place you wake up, do your groceries and pay your bills in. All that fun real life stuff.
"Rather weird country to obsess about..."q
It was Finland for me. Rather weird country to obsess about, but I started learning the language in high school and fell in love with the culture. Went there for an exchange and was shocked at how close to paradise it was! Beautiful nature, friendly and helpful people, good-quality food and more humane pace of life. It helped that I lived with a wonderful host family in a small town - the people you meet are a huge part of your experience in a place. Best part was getting to learn more Finnish!
Tl;dr Finland was exactly what I fantasized it would be.
"I had a several month long gap..."
Not as popular but Greece. My maternal grandparents are Greek. It's a big loud friendly group and had been my entire life.
I had a several month long gap before grad school and a great aunt willing to house me so I moved to Patras. The first few weeks were wonderful I did all the tourist things then I realized how forced all of it was. You can't just ever have a friend over it has to be a major production. The food was wonderful but every contractor or small business I interacted with took it at a point of pride to tack on added fees or try to scam me. I was stolen from multiple times. The older people particularly the men had no personal boundaries at all and their wives would hand wave off anything. Everything public that wasn't intended for tourists was falling to pieces. It was just very sad considering how proud I had been of my Greek roots until then.
"It's what we make of it."
Seattle WA. Spent my first 30 years living up and down the eastern seaboard from PA to GA. I was in grad school in SC and inexplicably Seattle just popped in my head one day - no trigger or anything. For the last 6 months of school (2003) it just consumed me - sight unseen I needed to be there. So that's what I did. Got my degree, packed up my car with no job, place to live or contacts and drove to Seattle.
It could very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy but it was everything I wanted it to be. The city has changed quite a bit with the Amazon explosion but I'm glad I got to live some "old Seattle". There's still plenty of treasure to be mined. Sure the luster is gone but I have a family now and still love to explore the city with my daughter. All my old haunts are gone but the fun now is finding new haunts! It's what we make of it.
"I wanted to go to New Zealand..."
I wanted to go to New Zealand since I was ten and my best friend moved there, I finally went when I was 25 and got a 1-year working visa. It was awesome, I met my husband there, and saw my old friend again.
It's still great, I would live there if they'd have me!
"It was a great learning experience..."
Portland OR. It was great for a while when the rent was cheap and the house I moved into was still populated by friends.
After 3 years, the last of which all my friends had moved away, I realized that Portland is a really fun city, but also that cities in and of themselves are not for me, and that they are only bearable (for me) with friends.
It was a great learning experience, if you can call having your car stolen and broken into all the time "learning". At the initial cost ($300 a month for a room) it was fantastic. Working 4 days a week and paying all my rent with tips? Golden way to end ones 20's.
It's a great city to visit, and the burbs aren't bad at all, I just got jaded and raw from living downtown. I'd gladly live there again if I had friends around and didn't have to park on the street.
You can only convince yourself that a place is awesome for so long when you're by yourself and stepping over hobo scat and broken auto glass constantly.
"Year later I moved there."
Didn't exactly fetishise it, but I was definitely into Germany. I liked the language, the scenery, the ruins and the idealised view I got of the culture there from DW. When I first travelled there I was there for about 3 weeks and loved everything about it.
Years later I moved there. I really struggled with the language. I could read and write it pretty well, but I had little confidence for speaking and couldn't understand it spoken. Most people spoke good English so there wasn't as much need to use German as I really needed - except for official things.
Taxes were the worst thing in the world. I still have nightmares about trying to sort that. Buying, registering and insuring a car. Renting and then moving out of a property. Setting up and later cancelling utilities. Simply knowing where to go to buy/do things I needed to, especially when so many organisations had no or poorly developed websites. Never got used to speaking on the phone.
When I'd solo travelled before, I had no problem meeting people. As part of a couple this time, locals would rarely strike up conversation with us.
I weirdly missed the level of consumerism I was used to. I like just window shopping or buying random cheap items, but the good places for that were few and far between. Trying to find places to shop for gifts was a nightmare. (I'm sure there are lots of amazing stores for that kind of thing. Just they tended to be quite specialised and not always centered in one place). I couldn't even find a place to buy dish brushes!
Being completely landlocked in the height of summer was a somewhat claustrophobic feeling.
The food was not very varied. Every city had the same small range of cuisines, and any one type of restaurant was like all the others of that type. The cheapest meats were things I don't like, like pork, turkey and fish, and potato (which I hate) was everywhere.
People weren't great at modifying their German for non-native speakers, ime, or at least compared to where I was from that had a lot of ESL immigrants. I was laughed at and pedantically corrected for trying sometimes.
But that is all the bad. There was so much good that directly counters any of the bad.
I loved engaging in the language and learnt a lot.
I respected the more old-fashioned type of consumerism, and as I lived in a small village, got really used to cooking every night. I loved the bike rides past strawberry fields and vineries to get to the supermarket. I liked that nothing was open on a Sunday and everyone just chilled out.
I loved that every one of my house neighbours was friendly, accommodating, helpful, and willing to include us in their traditions.
I loved that people would swim (nude!) in the little river when it was hot.
I love that I couldn't automatically understand every single conversation going on around me. I loved the feeling of understanding something and not even remembering if it was said in English or German.
I love that I survived all the trauma of taxes and contracts.
The secluded ruin on the hill in the forest is my favourite place on earth.
I loved the traditional German restaurant in my village and the amazing inexpensive local wines.
I discovered preparations of pork and fish that I could actually handle eating. And it is thanks to the expense of beef that we started our tradition of steak at Christmas.
I have so many amazing memories, but I would not do it again.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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