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Older People Take A Swipe At Millennials By Updating An Old-Timey Quote

Older People Take A Swipe At Millennials By Updating An Old-Timey Quote

Older People Take A Swipe At Millennials By Updating An Old-Timey Quote

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It's a situation we've all been trapped in. Your eyes glaze over and you let your mind wander. Maybe you can escape through the door, or crawl out the window. Anything would be better except listening to Grandpa say, "When I was your age, we had to walk up a hill, 2 miles, in the snow, both ways, with rocks in our pockets..."

That tried and tested proverb has been used to shut down the woes and troubles of younger generations for quite some time. However, time passes and expressions will soon lose their meaning. Maybe there won't be kids walking to school in the future. Maybe there won't be any more snow. Soon Gen-X'ers will be grandparents, shaming our own grandchildren. Reddit user, r/mike_lets_talk, wanted to know what those sayings and proverbs will end up being when they asked:

What will be the Millennial generation's "I had to walk 20 miles uphill both ways in the snow to school every day"?

Nothing More Stressful Than Talking To Your Crush's Dad

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Back in my day, we used to all share a single phone at home.

What if I wanted call a girl I liked you say? Well I had to call her home and ask her parents to speak with her if they answered.

riverfoot

Be Kind

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Back in my day, if we wanted to watch a movie again we had to rewind it.

Joellyrancher

And Amazon Was a River...

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"Back in my day, Pluto was a planet and Saturn was a car"

zizzlespizzle

The Greatest Phone Game

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I didn't have the internet on my cellphone. I paid by the text. The only game I had on it was Snake.

curiousiah

G.P. What?

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I had to print out directions from mapquest and hope I didn't miss a street.

semadema

How Was There Space For Anywhere Else?

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I had to memorize other people's phone numbers!

Gemmabeta

500 Free Hours?? What???

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My internet came on a disk that I got in the mail, and if anyone made a phone call I would lose the internet.

_xX_HanShotFirstXx

Hollywood Video or Blockbuster?

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Back in my day when you wanted to watch a movie you had to go down to the movie rental store and hope that they had a copy left that you had to make sure you could gather enough change to pay with!

fynx07

Can I Text The House?

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Back in my day, the house had its own phone number.

Jell1349

Suffering Through The B-Material

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I had to buy whole albums of songs to get the one I wanted, even if some of them were bad!

BoxeswithBears

Just Hours Of Your Life, Wasted

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Without a cell phone, I had to read the shampoo bottle on the toilet.

Maxamilious

"it's .25 For the First 7 Texts, After That It's $3"

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"Back in my day, texting prices were so inflated it cost more to send a text message than it took to receive info from the Hubble Space Telescope!"

antiname

Too Busy Practicing Our Zs To Notice

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Before keyboards we scrawled the characters on pieces of dried tree mush with tubes that had dyed water in them. People used to worry about how many trees we were mushing but we were too busy destroying the atmosphere for it to really matter.

Did We Ever Get To The Bottom Of This?

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I had to change the TV to channel 3 JUST to play video games.

[username deleted]

For That Matter...

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When I was your age when had to blow in the cartage to get our games to work.

Rabidleopard

Maybe Even Buy Two Cars

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Back in my day my parents could afford a mortgage with 2 middle class jobs.

mikekoot111

That's, Like, Forever

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"You kids have no idea how hard me and your mother had it when we first got married. We had to wait 2 WHOLE DAYS for a package to come in the mail."

Offsubject

What Do You Mean There Was No Wikipedia?

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Back in my day, I had to go to a library and search through books for my research papers

_LovebotAI

The Great Kazaa Wars Are Back!

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I had to wait 10 minutes to download a song on Limewire.

polar2118

You Had To Wait Until...Next Week?

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We had these books called TV guides and had to organize our day by what TV show was on at what time! No seriously! on demand streaming wasn't a thing!

_Hav3_Y0u_M3tT3d

The Trauma Of Nokia Phones...

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"if you wanted an S, you had to press 7 FOUR TIMES!"

_LANA_WHATDangerZone

We'd Never Know!

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Back in my day we didn't have smartphones. If you got into an argument about something you never knew who was right. Do emus live in Africa or Australia? Who knows!

If you were taking a trip you had to go to mapquest and print out directions to read in the car. And before mapquest or with a big trip you bought a map, sprawled it out on your car, and plotted a route by hand like a 17th century explorer.

Want to take pictures? Don't forget to bring a camera! The point and shoots were awesome, those could actually fit in your pocket!

Ofactorial

Answer? He's A Vampire

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Back in my day Keanu Reeves looked exactly the same.

LadyJeremiah

H/T: Reddit

People Confess The Worst Things They've Ever Done While Drunk

Reddit user S4phire34 asked: 'People who have been really drunk, whats the worst thing that you have done?'

a man laying in the grass with a bottle of beer
Photo by thom masat on Unsplash

It's no secret alcohol lowers inhibitions and sometimes messes with people's self-control.

Since I never saw the appeal of passing out, losing my memories of a party, or waking up in a strange place the next morning with nothing but the clothes on my back, I never drank myself past tipsy. That policy, however, enabled me to bear witness and remember the crazy things my friends did while drunk.

When I was in college, my roommate and I liked to cut across the woods to get to places faster. This was before every smartphone came with a built-in flashlight, and when flashlight apps were basically jokes. In order to get through the woods safely at night, we bought small, powerful flashlights at the start of the year.

We cut across those woods to get to a party one night, and my roommate got extremely drunk. There was an unexpected blackout during the party, so in addition to candles and battery-powered lanterns, my roommate turned on her flashlight. She was so drunk, she thought it was a person and fell in love with it. Every time the light shone on her, the flashlight was telling her it loved her too, but every time it shone on someone else, it was cheating on her.

By the end of the night, she was drunk that she dropped and broke the flashlight, and cried because she thought she killed it. I had to surrepticiously throw her flashlight out and replace it with mine, pretending that it had passed out, but wasn't dead. By the time we got back to our dorm, she broke mine too, but had fallen asleep right after, so there was no more crying.

Looking back, maybe it was a good thing this happened when smartphones didn't have built-in flashlights...

I'm not the only one who has witnessed someone doing something ridiculous when they were drunk. Redditors have both done stupid -- and in some cases, really bad -- things, and seen stupid or really bad things, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor S4phire34 asked:

"People who have been really drunk, whats the worst thing that you have done?"

Classic

"Had a Christmas party and there was a different party next door that was having an awards type event, I got up on stage and starting singing Jessie’s Girl. Even to this day I am mortified."

– princesssmurfet

"If it makes you feel any better, at least a handful of people at that awards show probably thought it was hysterical."

– TheMilkmanHathCome

"I was in a bar, thought it was open mic. Went on stage with the band (it wasn’t open mic) and sang ‘Brown eyed Girl.’"

– judgymom

Away From Home

"Fell asleep in the alleyway. It was dumb and dangerous. Friend found me."

– hotoatcereal

"Yup! Slept in a parking garage one time."

– Moneyshot_ITF

Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM

"It was a birthday and my friends brought me a shot for every year."

"Unfortunately I got sick on the side of a major highway in Rochester, NY @ 2:00 in the morning. Even worse I wanted them to leave me there to sleep…did I mention that it was in the middle of winter?? Lucky to be typing this post."

"I lost a lot of self respect and the moral high ground in any substance abuse conversation I will ever have with those friends."

– nytocarolina

Speech!

"Telling my girlfriends mother that i couldn't [sleep with] her daughter that evening cause i was too drunk to get a condom on."

– Various-Ostrich-5664

"This would keep me up at night for decades."

– Lukealove

"Wedding toast stuff. Obviously not directly but that deserves an inside joke nod."

– commitpushdrink

Ick!

"Went out drinking with fellow booksellers and got very drunk indeed. Had the brilliant idea to sleep close to the bookshop rather than go home. Walked around and eventually found a little hut near the car park for the attendant to work in during the day. Climbed through the window and slept in his chair."

"At some point in the night I felt very ill and rather than make a mess, I puked in the little drawer in his little desk. Filled it completely to the top, closed it, and went back to sleep. Woke up with a terrible hangover and went straight back to work. Remembered halfway through the day about the puke and have felt terrible about it ever since. Still find it hard to read Goldilocks and the Three Bears with the kids."

– MikeSizemore

Liar, Liar?

"Got arrested after puking on a cops shoes swearing i wasn’t drunk."

– BrushNo1369

"I'm thinking if he already had to have the conversation with a cop that he wasn't drunk, it was probably for whatever started the conversation."

– garbagedisposalpasta

Awkward

"My buddy told me he'd take me home after a night out. He got too drunk and didn't want to drive (good choice), so he called me a cab and got me a hoagie from Wawa."

"The last thing I remember was climbing into the cab. I really wish I could recall the events of the night after that."

"The next morning I woke up in someone's gravel driveway, no hoagie and no phone, I only had my wallet."

"I just hope I didn't ruin that cabbies night but I can almost be assured that I did."

– LeviathanIsI

That's Unfortunate

"I was too drunk to drive so I drove my RC car to the liquor store while walking behind it and it got ran over by a drunk driver. Rip SCX10."

– Car_loapher

"Hold on just the first half of this alone is f**king hilarious. “I’m too drunk to drive, so I’ll walk there. I just need to find a car to take…”"

– IronLusk

"Let me find my keys...er...remote."

– lightningspider97

All By Myself

"Trying to walk in higher heels than usual I fell into a swimming pool at a party where I didn't know the hosts very well. Nobody wanted to fish me out as I was wearing a long maxi dress it was hard to climb out on my own."

– tinkblueyez209

"So, people just straight up watched you struggle to get out while sneaking pics?"

– NottaPattaPoopa

Sound The Alarms

"Walked away from a party, went to my friends garage and slept. Woke up, went back. They had called police and coastal guard becuase they thought I had drowned or went missing."

– Den_dar_Alex

"Nobody checked the garage? Your friends sound like the bust."

– flacobronco

"Well everyone was drunk so no one thought about it. The garage was 2000 metres and owned by his dad. So would've thought to check there."

– Den_dar_Alex

Yikes!

"I came home very drunk one time and my roommate had baked this chocolate lava cake thing with a Betty Crocker mix. I took one look at it and started f**king devouring it with a spoon. He came into the kitchen the next morning and found half of it missing with very obvious spoon marks. I don't even think he got to eat any of it. Needless to say he was pissed."

– disgruntled-capybara

"Did you bake him one in repayment?"

– Beavur

"No, but I bought a replacement box for him."

– disgruntled-capybara

""Here, more work!""

– Tshirt_Addict

"duuuuude this is where you had to buy him a nice cake or give him the box plus his labor so like $20."

– ixlovextoxkiss

Woof, Woof!

"Stole the hosts lunch in their fridge, ate it, then threw it up all over their deck and it froze over in the -30°C weather and they had to hack it off with a shovel."

– HalfChineseJesus

"This is funny because if I didn't know the question I would guess a dog wrote this."

– mro777

"I threw a chicken into a swimming pool once, and then dived in to rescue it. According to my friend, I was so distraught that I took it to bed with me to keep it warm."

"When I woke up the next morning I had no memory of the night before and found a chicken in my shower."

– massive-bafe

"I was hesitant to hit this thread cause I figured it could be really dark but this has to be one the greatest stories I’ve ever heard in my life 😂"

– capnsmirks

"Was it a live chicken?"

– SentientRock123

"Yes. It was my cleaner's pet chicken, who lived in a small pen near the pool (the chicken, not the cleaner)."

– massive-bafe

A Lucky Break

"I was 21, maybe 22. Just transferred to UW-Milwaukee. Every weekend I was going out to the bars/clubs with a bunch of international students I befriended. One weekend, we all went to a frat party where some of the guys asked me to join. I wasn’t interested at the time so politely declined."

"Fast forward a couple of weekends later, me and my buddies are at a club and I got so drunk I realized I just needed to go home. I called a cab (Uber and Lyft wasn’t a thing back then) and (in my drunken stupor) realized I didn’t have any cash on me. The cab driver was so pissed he took me all the way back to the club that he picked me up at and dropped me off."

"I started walking home, fell down and broke my cell phone so I couldn’t call anyone for a ride. While I was walking, a policeman pulled up beside me probably realizing I was completely hammered and maybe needed help."

"Not sure why, but I told the cop I was part of the fraternity that had asked me to join a couple of weeks ago. He said “wait really? I’m an alumni from there. Get in, I’ll drop you off.” Brought me right back to my dorm lol."

– niemzi

If only we were all that lucky!

A pair of sunglasses, their case and an iced espresso coffee are placed on top of a counter
Photo by Tamara Bellis

Do you ever use a product and wonder... "Who in the world thought this would work?"

That seems to be an issue with a lot of items in life.

Like, who designed all these extra dinner forks?

It's all too confusing when you just want to eat a salad and a steak.

Let me keep my fork.

You're wasting water on all the cleaning.

Think before you create.

Redditor DongLaiCha wanted to discuss some products that may need more in-field research, so they asked:

"What products are clearly made by people or companies who never actually use them?"

Remember CDs?

It was easier to break into the Pentagon than open that plastic wrapping.

Who thought that idea up?

Too Dry

Hair Bathing GIFGiphy

"I swear that people who design some shampoo and conditioner bottles have never tried to use them while wet."

danarexasaurus

Assessments

"Elementary state assessments. They are the most obtuse, poorly written, unrealistic questions on earth. They enrage me. They are clearly written by people who either have zero experience in elementary education or haven’t had any in a decade or so."

meadow_chef

"I have a BA in English and couldn't figure out one of the answers to my child's third-grade ELA state test practice. I spoke to the teacher about it and she sounded so defeated about the testing. There's no way to prepare children for a test when the questions and answers are so poorly written that the students, their teacher, and the parents can't pick the correct answer."

DistractedHouseWitch

Cheap and Expensive

"A few years ago we wanted a coffee maker with a slightly larger carafe. The only 14-cup one we could find at a reasonable price was branded with Drew Barrymore's name. Whatever, we bought it. It was the worst kitchen device I've ever owned. The interface to set the clock, program it, etc. was absolutely baffling to use, never seemed to do the same thing twice."

"The instructions were apparently written by whatever guy at the factory had a cousin who'd seen an American TV show once. And when it actually did somehow make coffee, it came out shriekingly hot, to where I would put a couple of ice cubes into my travel mug when I left for work just to get it down to drinkable temperature."

Fabulous-Quality-282

Flip It

"Those who make the 'pull this flip to open' on plastic packaging of cold cuts."

MissNatdah

"Similarly, the people who make 'resealable' packages of food products where you have to cut it open in a certain place, but cutting there either results in: A) the package still being sealed closed, or B) ruining the internal sealing zipper. I have this issue with the frozen dumplings I buy and no matter what I do, I have NEVER been able to reseal the package as advertised and have to resort to a chip clip."

pls_send_caffeine

Punch a Hole

Mac And Cheese Eating GIF by Megan BatoonGiphy

"The 'push here to open' spot on Kraft Mac and Cheese."

coop_doop

"Whenever I get a different brand I just punch a hole in the same spot out of habit. It’s about exactly as hard to do as with the Kraft ones. So they might as well take out the perforating step and save .001¢/box in the production process."

Reaper_Messiah

Why do they want to keep our Mac and Cheese from us?

Give me my meal!!

Tearing Sheets

office paper GIFGiphy

"Those toilet paper holders in public toilets that cut off at two sheets."

theshortlady

"Same area: those paper towel dispensers that require a two-handed pull, commonly leaving you with two little torn-off triangles of paper in your hands."

repowers

Useless

"Zebra printers. I swear Zebra customer service is useless. I've had to call the help desks for the specific companies I've worked for because the Zebra CS is just like 'Huh!?'"

monotoonz

"We wrote our own internal manuals for how to setup, manage, and troubleshoot Zebra printers. It includes helpful information like 'Do not call Zebra about this issue, instead, see Appendix A' (which is screenshots of conversations about how it is is a known issue and the resolution should be coming shortly (dated 2016))."

001235

City Life

"Maybe a bit off-topic, but in a meeting with a former colleague of mine, the person in charge of the metro for a nearby city admitted that he had never used the metro. Not that he didn’t use the metro, but that he had never used it in his life, even once. I suspect that this kind of thing isn’t uncommon for government services."

KireGoTI

"Similar story. A lifelong friend of didn’t even know we had a Metro until a recent expansion meant she had to drive a different way into her office. She works for the city council."

TheKingMonkey

Warn You

"Hospital beds. From the standpoint of the person who has to push it around and mess with rails that get caught in the mattress and plug it in with a long dirty cord that gets mixed up with another random cord that no one knows its purpose. No retractable cords so they constantly drag on the ground and try to trip you when pushing the bed."

"Brakes that are in the most awkward position that you have to invert your knee to reach with your foot. And worst, the screeching, ear-piercing alarm that they emit to 'warn you' that the bed is not locked. Hospital beds are obnoxious."

Agitated-Effort3423

Help Please

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphy

"Customer-facing software. Developers should be required to hire grandmas under the explicit condition that if grandma can't look at a menu option and decide what to click without giving up and calling the help desk your functionality has failed."

Puzzleheaded-Bat8657

I can't even begin to get into software options.

It brings back too much PTSD.

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less