Hero Images/Getty Images

Once you become a fully committed couple, the questions start pouring in. "When are you gonna have kids?" "When are you having kids?" "When are the kids coming?"

The hardest thing to say is they might never come, but that isn't always a bad thing, as evidenced by the stories below.


Reddit user, u/throwawaygeneral8899, wanted to know:

Older couples that decided to not have children... how do you feel about your decision now that years have passed ?

Everything Should Stop With Me

For my spouse, I can only say that they have physical and psychological issues that they've mentioned that they'd rather not pass on to a child.

For myself, I've always said that while I'm occasionally afraid that someday I might regret not having children, that's not the same as wanting children, and that's an important difference to me. I have my own reasons to believe I'd probably not be a good parent.

Yeah, we both get concerned sometimes whether anyone will be arsed to care about the sole survivor once the other's gone or incapacitated. But this thought is the result of our decisions, not a basis for changing our minds about having kids, which we will not. Having kids or not is no guarantee that you'll end up cared for or not anyway, though it does probably move the needle on your odds.

Oenonaut

No Need To Pile On The Issues

I go back and forth. My SO has some significant mental health issues and I know that I would be alone doing much of the emotional labor of raising a child, and I know I'm not really capable of doing it alone. Sometimes I worry very much about what I will do when I am old. I'm an introvert and dont have many friends and am not overly likable, so I assume I will be alone. I just hope that there are some kind robots to take care of me, and that I'll die before the robots turn on us.

Doctorjimmy

Be Self Aware Of Your Own Limitations

I'm not a couple, just a person. I've been in lots of relationships and was married twice. I would not have made a good parent.

Regret sometimes I wasn't born into a different life, but given the cards I was dealt... I think I made the right choice in that department and have no regrets.

Metatron_Fallen

Adventures Galore

Been married for 21 years and initially we tried to have kids but found out that it was going to be hard to do. Wife was heartbroken at first, but I was somewhat relieved. It's a lot of responsibility and your life changes to accommodate a child.

Over the years, wife has actually said a few times that she was glad we didn't have kids because we couldn't have had the adventures we did. I feel like it was the right choice and we're better off due to not having kids. We love our life and are continuing our adventures now in our 50's and we're starting to make plans for retirement.

grahag

You Don't Always Have To Spend Time With Your Own Kids

We've been married twenty years. We are both 50. Neither of us wanted to bring children into our family.

I spent a WONDERFUL afternoon with my 16 year old niece yesterday. We talked about her boyfriend, picked blackberries and discovered a woodland clam [fingernail mussel] living in a mud puddle [vernal pool] in the woods, which we named Fred. It was magical. I just adore her.

Not having kids is just as normal as wanting kids, I've always felt.

Zero regrets.

piskie

Seriously, Hang Out With Other People's Kids

Well...I'm a dude in a relationship with a dude. 26 years. We could have had children but didn't. Have plenty of nieces and nephews to spoil.

Also...we've been able to save and we are retiring this week. I'm 54.

dwsinpdx

Sometimes, You're Escaping From Old Wounds

My husband & I are in our 50s & have been married 19 years. We both grew up with abusive dads, were the "smart kid" in the family, got the hell out ASAP, worked our way through college & made something of ourselves before meeting & getting married. A lot of common ground & we've built a strong, rock-solid marriage.

We considered having kids, but after working so hard on healing from the childhood abuse & escaping the cycle of poverty we grew up in, we decided long ago that just the two of us was enough. We still consider ourselves a family and we've been really happy with our life together. Our home is peaceful & that's the thing we care about the most.

If I had to choose now, knowing what I do, between becoming a mother & having the marriage & home life I now enjoy, it's absolutely no contest. Zero regrets.

You Learn To Deal With It Everyday

I (43F) and my husband (41M) tried unsuccessfully for about 2-3 years to conceive. We did clomid and 3 IUIs. We stopped short of IVF due to the cost and low chance of success at my age. Adoption also was eventually ruled out for a number of reasons but chief among them was I didn't feel called to it (and I'm adopted myself), I wanted to have a child that was half me and half my husband which adoption would not have given us, and the sheer cost of adoption which still does not guarantee you a child (I have friends who have been waiting 2 years now for a child).

We're slowly coming to peace with the decision and it gets easier day by day but I still have many days where it's hard to realize that we won't have what so many other people have attained so easily. Infertility really does change you and breaks down your entire sense of who you are as a woman. Ironically I didn't even want to have kids for years until I met my husband.

DeeLite04

Kids? Or Sports Cars?

Me and my girlfriend don't want kids

we want sports cars and to live debt free.

There's too many kids out there without parents so we may adopt one day

CaptainGetRad

"Just fine with it."

Just fine with it.

I'm retired and my wife will be retired next year.

Almost all of our retired friends that have kids are still dealing with some sort of dysfunction or drama with at least one or more kid that should allegedly be "grown up" by now.

One couple actually went to court and fought to gain custody of their grand-kids, taking them away from their dangerously irresponsible parents. Grandparents were well into their sixties raising two teenagers, but both are doing very well now.

reg-o-matic

Sometimes, You Just Need To Cheat The System

I'm 53, and has a vasectomy when I was 28. Never regretted not having children. I married a woman 10 years older than I am who had two grown kids (17 & 21 when we married,) and now I get GRANDKIDS! We've been married about 20 years, and I have three granddaughters, 10, 8 and just 7.

So I sort of cheated the system. But I am glad I didn't have to raise small children, and I get to enjoy being a grandfather.

dramboxf

Why Make Them Fix Our Problems?

We are both around 30. Both of us don't have the wish/urge to get kids.

I think we would be great parents, but its just so much work. So much time, risk and what not.

And [I] really don't [want] my kid/kids to go through school and fix (if possible) climate change.

ssuuh

Oh Yeah...The World...

Wife & I are older than 60 and retired. Neither of us ever wanted kids.

We are extremely happy we never had any kids. I am reminded every day I read the news that it was a good thing not to have kids.

Willzohh

Freedom Is More Important

I'm 33 and my partner is 43. Neither of us have ever wanted kids, nieces and nephews are enough.

My family constantly tell me I'd make an amazing parent and yes I'm wonderful with kids and kids adore me, they always have but I just know myself enough to know I'd resent them at times.

I'd want my freedom back, I'd rather focus on my life, my partner and my career. Instinctively I know eventually I'd get so frustrated I'd just become one of those jaded parents who can't be bothered and ends up treating their teenagers like a couple of friends just out of laziness. The teenagers would love it but that'd be some god-awful parenting. Plus financially? F-ck that in a bucket.

I honestly believe I'd be terrible. There is so much I want to do with my life. Raising, feeding and educating another whole human being is not f-ckin' one of 'em.

anon_throwaway1992

Braver To Take The Road Not Walked

It's braver to realize you shouldn't be a parent than it is to have kids and do a sh-tty job of raising them.

Jkawfoord

You Most Definitely Need An Even Temperament

I'm 60 now, been married for 29 years.

God did not provide me with the proper temperament to raise children. Have never regretted our decision to be child free. We're good 👍🏻.

RaspyToZen

You Find Love Elsewhere

I have a professor at my university who has been married to his wife for 50 years, and they have no children. He calls us his children and always talks about how he and his wife are inseparable. He's a really eccentric and energetic guy, even in his 70's. He gives out candy to the entire class before every lecture he gives.

He seems like he truly loves life and has no regrets about not having any children.

dailydonuts16

What's a reason why you don't want to have kids? Tell us all about it.

Image by tookapic from Pixabay

Can you see Harry Potter at a football game in the Midwest? Chowing on a corn dog, throwing back some good ole Pepsi-Cola? Or can you picture the Harry universe living and loving in the great U. S of A? What would casting look like against the backdrop of the great harvest plains? I have so many thoughts and ideas. The first thought, the change would never work. Keep the story alive on British soil.

But, for fun, let's chat about the idea.

Redditor u/Cuish wanted all the Potter heads out there to share what American tweeks would occur in the Potterverse within America, by asking:

If Harry Potter was set in the United States, how would the story change?
Keep reading... Show less
Luke van Zyl/Unsplash

Life isn't as simple as one may think. It's not always easy to take a step back and look at the big picture, but when there's over seven billion people on the planet, there's no way things are as cut and dry as they seem.

Everyone's experiences are different going through life. We may not be able to see the complexities it if we haven't lived it ourselves.

So we went to Reddit because we wanted to see what's not as simple as people think it is.

Keep reading... Show less
RobinHiggins/Pixabay

Double standards are something we all live with and, quite likely, find extremely annoying. Things like men being expected to hide their emotions—or not have them at all—or women being expected to stay home and support a couple's children, everyone is generally harmed by double standards.

This is especially true when the double standard isn't clear until someone violates it and then has to deal with anger, ridicule, or sometimes even violence as a result.

Content Note: this article mentions suicide and sexual assault, reader discretion advised.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by jacqueline macou from Pixabay

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure - and sometimes that saying is pretty literal.

Lots of people build entire businesses picking up cool stuff on bulk-pickup trash day, and upcycling it into something even better that people are willing to pay for.

Sometimes, you might even end up with something pristine and usable right away.

Reddit user JampackedAlborn1976 asked:

What is the most valuable item that you have seen somebody throw away or have found in the garbage?

And for real ... some of these people scored BIG TIME. Like big time. Like really big.

Like Refrigerator Big

just ask leslie jones GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"Our current refrigerator is a double-door one with exterior ice and water dispensers. We got it for free, with absolutely no problems whatsoever. It's just a few years old."

"How we got it? My dad (civil engineer) was doing some work on someone's apartment when they said they had bought a new modern French door refrigerator and that they were just going to discard their current refrigerator."

"My dad simply asked if he could have it.. and they said yes." - SauloJr

Immigrants In Action

Dog Brazil GIF Giphy

"I immigrated to the US from Brazil when I was 12. And every Saturday, my mom, stepdad, sister and I would go out at night to upper middle class neighborhoods the day before trash pickup to rummage through the garbage they were putting out."

"We found perfectly good TVs, VCRs, microwaves, couches, lazy boys, tables, books and comics, etc."

"I couldn't believe these Americans were throwing out like that. We furnished our entire house with that stuff. The entire Brazilian immigrant community in my town did it. We were flabbergasted." - PhillipLlerenas

With A Note

Television Bunny GIF Giphy

"My wife yelled at me that someone put a big TV outside with a note on it. Walked across the street and it was a brand new Samsung 37 inch HDTV."

"They were actually renovating the apartment building and got an upgraded TV. Even had the remote taped to it with batteries, I guess I have really nice neighbors here in NYC." - MadLintElf

Life Hack!

studying busy philipps GIF by Drunk History Giphy

"If you want high end stuff out of the garbage for free, follow these steps:"

"Pick a city with a large university in it. If it's a school well known for its law programs, or medical, or engineering, all the better."

"Search for luxury apartment complexes that market themselves towards students. Look for things like included shuttle service, pools, fitness centers, etc. The more expensive and swanky the better."

"Figure out when finals week is at the end of Spring semester."

"Dumpster dive at those luxury apartment complexes during that week and the following weekend."

"Very wealthy international students will arrive in the US, fully outfit an apartment with nice furniture, big TVs, audio systems, gaming consoles, you name it, and when the semester ends they just junk it all because they aren't going to fly it back to wherever, and it's too much effort to spend the time selling when they do not care about the money."

"It's a smaller scale phenomenon a little like all the luxury cars abandoned at the airport in Dubai." - whattothewhonow

Literal Gold Treasure

valley of the boom david kim stanley GIF by National Geographic Channel Giphy

"I found a gold coin at goodwill for 5 bucks. It was in a case with someone's name and company name."

"It was their gift from the company for retiring. I assume the family threw it out when he died not knowing it was solid gold. It was in a in a thick solid plastic case that had to be cracked opened."

"It literally said 1 oz fine gold on it. I figured 5 bucks was worth the risk it not being real."

"It was a South African KRUGERRAND 1 oz coin. Everyone was just too busy to read it lol."

"Bought it and took it too a pawn shop and sold it for a couple grand." - streetmitch

The Best Day Of My Life

Will Smith Wow GIF by 1LIVE Giphy

"When I was a kid, I grew up right outside the Los Angeles area in the suburbs. My stepdad was a garbage truck driver for the city of Beverly Hills."

"I swear in the late 80s and early 90s we'd have so much basically brand new stuff (still in boxes) brought home on a regular basis."

"I'll never forget one day in particular. My stepdad came home and was like 'get ready, come to the car, I'll need your help.' So I go down there and in back seat of his car he had a few large black garbage bags."

"We haul them up to our apartment and he's like 'go ahead, open them.' Inside was what I could only describe as an 80s kids trove of treasures."

"One bag contained just about every Ghostbusters and GI joe toy you can imagine, they were played with but had every little accessory, there was a bunch the playsets and everything."

"In the other bag was pretty much every LEGO of the early 80s sets, still in their original boxes. I was a big LEGO nerd but was totally thrown off by the old school space ones because they looked nothing like the 90s space sets. I think they even said "NASA" the minifig's chests."

"That was like a random day in July, it felt like Christmas. I was 9 years old and it was basically like the best day of my life up to that point." - Zombgief

Who Throws Away Money?

spongebob squarepants money GIF Giphy

"A jar full of quarters."

"Annual spring cleaning projects happen in a lot of towns where anyone can put almost anything on the curb and it's taken away for free. It's to stop open dumping or stuff being dumped in ditches."

"Sometimes people deal with estates from winter by just dumping all their grandfather's stuff on the curb for the cleanup to get the house empty immediately. Most often they don't even bother to look at what they are throwing away."

"In 2012 on north road in Akwesasne I found an estate pile that I shuttled back and forth with my bike trailer getting lots of older tools like a scythe, hammers, saws, screwdrivers and wrenches, a 22 rifle with 100 round of ammo, a bunch of ar15 magazines, cast iron cookware, oil lamps, a hand crank food mill with all kinds of accessories, a black raven axe head (worth $100 easily since they are a collectable), and a quart size mason jar full of change mostly quarters."

"That was spring and the sheriffs office did a gun buyback in the fall where I took the mags and got $20 each for them (30 round mags suddenly illegal under the safe act of fall 2012. The buyback was a local political move). I still got the 22 and picked off a lot of woodchuck with it in my gardens." - Bogtrotterso1980

Filing Fever

Files Workload GIF Giphy

"I own a small company which is located directly in front of a state funded program facility. The state decided to have this office shred all of their files as they were going to switch to electronic data (exclusively)."

"We found two of these old rotary filing cabinets outside of their office. They're worth almost $3k each!"

"They just placed them there and we saw them and asked what they planned on doing with them. They said, 'Hmmm.....either donate them or trash them.' The state told them simply to get rid of them."

"We jumped at this and took the two into our already tiny office because there was no way in hell that we were going to let these gems go. (We do use paper files, unfortunately)."

"They wanted to give us two smaller ones but seriously, our office is very small. I made some phone calls and they were picked up immediately by other office workers/friends." - GlitzBlitz

This Sucks - In A Good Way!

mrs doubtfire vacuum GIF Giphy

"In the 1990s my moms work had a really nice high end Hoover that stopped working. They threw it out."

"My mom took it home because my dad tinkers and repairs things easily. Turns out since it was a bagged vacuum all the dummies had to do is REPLACE THE BAG."

"Like it never occurred to them to do the most easy and basic step. My parents were excited to have a really upgraded vacuum. Maybe like $500ish." - schweddyboobs

Tiffany's Trash

Audrey Hepburn Movie GIF by The Good Films Giphy

"My dad found an old stained glass window laying out by someone's trash. He thought it would look cool hanging in our cabin, so he stopped and grabbed it."

"It sat in our garage for a few years before he looked at it more closely and found "Tiffany and Co." branding on it. He got in touch with some stained glass window dude who figured it was worth about $40k fully restored, so my dad sold it to him for somewhere around $30k." - throwaway_stopdrink

Have you had any awesomely trashtastic treasures? Let us know!