People Share The Often Overlooked Signs Of Depression
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Life can be a very dark place.

And the loneliness is often overwhelming.

It can be very difficult to reach out for help.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

If we pay attention to our own red flags we can make great progress sooner.

Redditor Specktakles88 wanted to share how we need to be aware of depression.They asked:

"What are some overlooked signs of depression?"

I suffer from depression on the daily. You're not alone.

The Pivot

"Being addicted to a distraction, because not being distracted is painful. Just leaving the room to go get water or do a chore is pain, because it takes you away from your distraction."


"That's me. It literally hurt to face my thoughts head on, so I always kept myself distracted in one way or another. I had to learn how to go to sleep while listening to stuff so that I didn't even have the time to think about things I didn't want to."

"Unfortunately that led to me awakening from my sleep in the middle of the night because I started facing these thoughts while dreaming and having a panic attack."



"Forgetting a lot. Your mind just becomes pre-occupied with depressing thoughts, or might even be empty. You don't have space to remember the things people tell you anymore."


"This, I'm missing big chunks of memories from my long depressive episodes. Some gaps are huge, I dated someone for 6 months in the midst of one and can't even remember his name. I was on the wrong medication too, it all felt like a dream. Very important to find the right medication and write important stuff down."


Slow Rush

"Tiredness (often perceived as laziness) Struggling to make decisions Rushing into relationships Impulsive behaviour, spending eating etc."


"That rushing into relationships one really hit home. To me, a relationship could be an escape from the pit I feel myself in every day. But I rush into them so quickly that I loose my footing and fall right back in."



"Apathy. Numbness. Straight up not caring about sh*t. I've been told I come off as a very cold person when really I just feel numb and indifferent to everything/everyone sometimes. Or not caring about things that should be affecting me in some way."


"The numbness. I never hear people talk about this. When I was at a very low with depression, I was totally numb. People say being depressed can make you cry a lot, but I couldn’t cry at all. I desperately wanted to feel something, anything."



"Anger and/or irritability."


"This was my #1 symptom. The littlest thing (usually work related) would make me SO angry/irritated. Too bad it was 2yrs later before I learned that it could be a sign. Once I found out though - straight to the DR where I was set up with meds and a therapist."


"This is huge, and a lot of the time people will simply write you off as, 'just another a** hole.' I'm not a *ick, it's a disability."


So many simple signs.


"Not engaging in conversations. That's about it."


"This one hits. I’m constantly just not wanting to be involved in conversations even with my wife. She is my favorite in the world and I know it bothers her when I’m barely engaged."


"I stopped engaging in conversation because all of a sudden everyone started ignoring me and constantly interrupting me. I can’t talk when no one listens."


One Room

"Living in your bedroom."


"This is the one. Cannot believe this isn’t higher. To follow this with a sub-point: Living in your room and being really messy. Living in filth, dirt, old dishes, discarded food wrappers and dirty clothing is terrible for your state of mind."

User Deleted


"Overcompensation when it comes to jokes. Funny people who are depressed lose their sense of humor but try to force humor because it’s a part of their healthy personality. It often comes off as abrasive and forced which results in further isolation."


"OMG, I swear I used to be lightning quick with my quips and I was a naturally a joker. Now I feel like my jokes never come to me and I no longer talk to anyone because I feel dried up and useless. When I finally do talk, I still try to crack a joke but its very flat and I give up."


No Cares

"Disinterest in almost everything. Making excuses for not doing things you normally like to do. Even if money is no issue ie going out to eat or going to see a movie, having absolutely no interest in doing anything or going anywhere."


Flags and Signs

"I’m seeing a lot of signs that I wanted to say but one I haven’t seen yet is being very indecisive about things. One may become very indecisive about the simples of things like what they want to do or even eat. This happens for various of reasons but from personal experience, it’s because one simply lacks enough care or have desire for anything at their lows."



"Gastrointestinal issues."


"YES! I've had gut issues for like 20 years, many doctors visits found nothing. Once I found a SSRI that worked for me it also completely eliminated all of my gut issues instantly, was not expecting that!"



"Being really tired. Sleep problems can make mental health issues worse, but depression can also disrupt your sleep or make you more lethargic in general in a feedback loop."


"People also mistake this for laziness. So 'laziness' can be a symptom. When the person desperately wants to do things they are just unable to."


Take it all...

"Giving a lot away."


"It’s more serious than that, especially if they suddenly cheer up out of nowhere. A depressed person suddenly becoming happy, catching up with people they’d withdrawn from and giving stuff away is a huge warning sign for suicide."


"I was so ready to die when I was cleaning and cleaning out my room on a weekly basis, only now do I realize what I was doing."



"Perceived laziness. For a long time my friends and family thought I was lazy and that I needed to get off my fat butt and do something. It spread to my friends and myself. Turns out after I moved away and talked to someone I was diagnosed with depression... and a sh**ty family."

"My family never asked why I spent so much time in bed, or why video games (the only place I felt successful) were the only thing I enjoyed. I got a lot of non professional help from new friends after I moved. I wouldn't suggest doing what I did but there are a lot of people that can't afford the expense of a mental health professional. Definitely see someone if you are capable!"



"Fighting just to keep your place clean."


"Lost that fight. I'm not afraid to admit I need help (not just me, my partner too), but too afraid of the judgement. You know 'How can people let it get so bad?' Because mental illness is f**king awful."


Like Me

"A lot if my friends (including myself) that have depression share this one sign: being a people pleaser. We are so scared that we are going to bother someone with our depression that we will do whatever they want. Or, we have suicidal thoughts and we want the people we love to think of us as these caring individuals before we leave."



"Isolation. People suddenly removing themselves from your life or online."


"I have done this in the last... I don't know how many months. Not deliberately, but I realised a little while ago. Either no one else has realised, or no one cares enough to reach out and check if I'm ok."


"I'm doing this right now to a community I really like/enjoy/click with. At some point they'll forget all about me. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, but it's happening to someone else."


Do you see me?!

"Being clingy towards people who show you the slightest bit of attention."


"This one... for example Is like after high school you learn that when that popular kid finally talks to you, adds you on social media and even invites you to a party really doesn’t matter? When you have depression you hold on to that popular kid. Your desperately want that one particular person to give you attention and it turns out that person is just using you, or is toxic as hell."


If any of this resonates with you please reach out for help.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at

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