Police In Unmarked Vehicles Share The Dumbest Things People Ever Did Around Them
There you were, driving along, minding your own business, when all of a sudden you see the red and blue lights glistening behind you, despite no police cruisers in sight. Needless to say, it sucks. And it's scary, if for no other reason than tickets are so freaking expensive, and, heaven forbid points are assessed for a roadway infraction, which causes insurance rates to skyrocket. Sometimes, however, people are just completely oblivious or simply downright sloppy.
In any case, here are some favorite screw-ups from both cops and unsuspecting motorists who got busted by an unmarked police car. Those of us who have experienced this first-hand lead a life of driver paranoia and disappointment. My deepest sympathies, we've all been there.
This could have gone differently. Lucky break, dude.
I once honked at a car who changed lanes a bit too closely in front of me. Was an unmarked cop car. When that silver Chevy slammed the brakes, darted behind me, and turned into a f_ckin' EDM show, I almost sh*t myself.
The officer pulled me over and apologized for cutting it close.
"We don't catch the smart ones." Yeah, obviously.
We had a guy pull into a lot next to a marked squad car and light up. My buddy sitting in the car had to look around to make sure he was---in fact---in a squad car and that he was ---in fact---in uniform. He was.
The old adage of "we don't catch the smart ones" never rang more true.
Once again, they never catch the smart ones.
Not a cop but one of my friends was doing an undercover stakeout at night in an unmarked car in a bad part of town. This wasn't just an unmarked Crown Vic, but a seized vehicle with heavy illegal tint. While he's there looking for a person of interest in a homicide this guy walks by a few times checking out the car and just looking fishy. He comes back, stops by the car, tries the door, then pulls out a lockout tool and tries to unlock the car. The whole time my buddy is trying to keep his sh_t together as this guy is trying to jack a car with a cop in it. He draws his pistol, cracks the window and flashes his gun. The guy drops his tool and just starts f_cking running down the street. He radioed in a description of the guy (didn't want to blow the stakeout with an arrest) and a uniformed unit picked him up two blocks away.
Guy ended up being involved in an auto theft ring and brought them all down in exchange for a deal. He had one of the biggest busts of his career just walk up and try to break into his car.
So... does the brother know from experience?
My little brother is really good at spotting cops (marked and unmarked). One day we were on our way to a wedding when my brother tells my mom to make sure she's going the speed limit cause she was about to pass an unmarked cop car. She is doubtful but does it anyways. About 30 seconds later a guy on a black Ducati comes flying up behind us weaving through traffic. He squeezes between our SUV and the cop and we all cheered when the cop flipped on his lights. My mom never questions my brother anymore.
New car, who dis?
I unknowingly sped past my father as he drove his brand new unmarked car home. Woops.
I've tried the crying tactic. It didn't work out so well for me.
Some guy tried suddenly coming out of a turn lane into our lane. When we didn't automatically brake to let him in he started screaming and cursing us out, even sticking his middle finger out the window, not realizing we were cops. We lowered our window flashed the badge and hit the lights and then pulled him over. The guy started crying and apologized numerous times.
I've lived in Indiana. Can confirm, everyone thinks they're in the 500.
I was driving from Indianapolis to Bloomington one day to visit a friend on the IU campus. I was going around 70 or so, running late, and I passed a cop in an unmarked Mustang on the side of the road. He pulled out and I got ready to pull over. He got behind me and just as he lit me up a lady in a red convertible comes flying past both of us. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw a completely stunned look on his face as if he was asking himself "Did this car really just blow by both of us?"
It took him a couple of seconds to recover, but then he pulled up beside me, pointed at me while laughing, and took off after the woman. I passed them as she was getting stopped and tooted the horn twice in thanks to her :)
Major fail, go to jail.
Not a cop. In college, my buddies and I lived in an... especially affordable neighborhood. We all went to the bar one night but soon received a call that there was a break-in. Got home and the cop told us he and his partner were driving by our house in an unmarked car when they saw an individual struggling to carry digital cameras, a t-shirt full of spare change, and an XBox plus controllers and games out of our house. The cops stop to observe what appears to be a robbery in progress, but then the individual actually approached the unmarked car and attempted to sell the stolen XBox to the cops on the sidewalk in front of our house that he had just robbed. They said it was the easiest arrest they ever made.
Never take the bait.
I had a client that tried to race a blacked out Charger when they first came out in his WRX. He was winning too, at least until the trooper turned on the lights in his grill. Had managed to get to 108 mph from the line.
Talk about scaring the piss out of someone...
Second police job was as a deputy sheriff and I'm sitting there with my partner off a highway exit at a scenic overlook eating some lunch and listening on the radio to CHP trying to corner two motorcyclists who are flying around the highway like idiots. No air support is available so they terminate pursuit for safety. About 10 minutes later as I'm polishing off my fourth taco two bikes matching the description, and without any visible plates exit the highway and pull into the same overlook. They take their helmets off, listen for a few minutes, kill the bikes, and then the one walks over to start peeing behind a tree. We made CHP transport them since that guy went all over himself when we hit the siren.
We were in an unmarked Subaru at the time.
This is just sloppy. Also, don't do meth, and stay in school.
I drive an unmarked car. My favorite one was on a two-lane road going 55. A big lifted truck passes me on a double yellow and the driver flips me the bird as he passed. I wonder what he was thinking when I lighted him up. He denied flipping me off when I pulled him over. I just gave him his ticket and he was on his way.
Most of the funny moments are working plainclothes, I still walk around thinking, "sh*t, I'm the police and if you people only knew". You see a lot more in plain clothes than in uniform. There are too many stories to tell so I'll just say the one that happened yesterday.
A couple of dealers ask me a number of times what I needed. I was doing something else so I wasn't going to bust them. They follow me down the street and keep asking me what I need. I end up telling one guy that I need some meth and he tells me the price. He palms me the smack and I paid him with my badge. I think he regretted chasing me down the street asking me what I needed.
Edit: autocorrect changed some words. Edit: I didn't give the guy my badge. I just showed it to him. I'm also not a narcotics officer and was out looking for someone. The area I was in is one of the most drug-infested neighborhoods on the west coast and there are drug dealers everywhere. The area is surrounded by high-income areas and they probably thought I was a tech bro looking to score. I arrested him and took him to jail.
To protect and... swerve?
I'm on the other side of this one
I was cycling down a main road and had a green light to cross, and I was nearly run over by a massive black car that ran the light and turned into me. We both swerved to a stop... I immediately turned around and started screaming at the guy "you f_cking etc, you nearly killed me look where you're f_cking going next time"
The car was unmarked police. The passenger-side window rolled down and there was a guy in a baseball cap and a bulletproof vest sitting there holding a rifle. I kept shouting abuse at him until I realized. He just apologized for nearly running me over and kept on driving
Moral of the story: don't harass German cops. You'll have a bad time.
Am a cop (in training) but wasn't in an unmarked car. Person was playing on their phone in the middle of traffic and didn't realize what kind of car was beside him. He looks up to me, sees me, and just gives me the finger, apparently for looking at him. Only then does he notice my uniform (or perhaps the big white POLIZEI on the side of the car). My instructor didn't believe it until I assured him I wasn't making it up. That guy ended up admitting it to my instructor. Probably the most expensive finger he ever gave someone. (And the most expensive round of whatever they were playing on the phone.)
I've had this happen to me, except I received a warning. For what, I still have no idea.
I am not an officer, however, this is too perfect not to tell. Mind you I was not speeding, I accelerated quickly and got in front of the SUV beside me who proceeded to tailgate me. He was driving aggressively and I thought road raging, so I got over again and sped around a car in front of me and got over again. I made my turn and the guy was on my tail again. Suddenly he lights me over and my stomach drops. I pull over and a plainclothes officer gets out and approaches. He says "sir, why were you driving like that? I am not a traffic officer but your erratic driving gave me no choice but to pull you." I shrugged my shoulders and responded, "you were tailgating me and looked angry I thought you were raging and tried to get some distance from you". He responded "that's fair " and walked back to his car and drove off.
The "green dragon" isn't a carnival ride.
Retired sheriff's deputy here. Was not working but in plain clothes with my young children at in tow. We were at a local Street Carnival in my jurisdiction. When I watched two Carneys do a hand-to-hand transaction of some type of narcotic. I contacted the officers on duty at the carnival, and the deputy prosecutor happened to be there as well. She asked me if I would be willing to do a purchase from one of the carnival workers. I had never worked undercover and didn't really know anything about narcotics or the street lingo -- had arrest affected almost immediately.
There's nothing delightful about a spoonful of DUI charges.
I actually work probation. We drive grey slick top chargers with blue lights.
We monitor people that are on GPS monitoring for the state. Occasionally these monitors go dead, they need servicing. Sometimes an offender says f--- it, cuts the unit off and goes trolling for a station wagon full of nuns or something.
Well anyway, I'm in this grey Charger with blue lights because it's my week to do the GPS monitoring thing. In my state probation officers have the same arrest powers as state troopers, DNR officers or normal police only we have statewide jurisdiction.
So I come across a disabled vehicle with a big ford behind it. There's lots of traffic and this Ford is trying to get around the disabled car. So I'm like man this dude is never getting around this car.
So I turn on my blue lights, stop traffic so he can get around safely. So I'm sitting there waving the guy through when this Indian fellow comes up on my passenger side window and he says, "OFFICER, THAT GUY IN THE TRUCK JUST HIT THAT CAR, HE WAS GOING SERIOUSLY FAST WEAVING ALL OVER THE PLACE, THEN HE HIT THAT CAR RIGHT THERE I THINK HES DRUNK!"
The upshot for the little 4-year-old was that one of the responding officers that showed up had a thick Liverpool accent. The little girl legit thought that she was speaking to the cop Mary Poppins. Super cute.
Clearly, he didn't fear his parents enough to begin with. I'm 31 and my mother still owns me.
We had a new hire who went twice the limit (160 in an 80 km/h zone) and then proceeded to cut off a policewoman in an unmarked car. As he was in a company vehicle with a clearly visible logo (security company) she called us and spoke to my boss. We called in the guy to the office and I fired him.
He could not believe that he was fired just for going twice the speed limit. He kept saying "but this is the first time I've done it!".About a month later he called my boss and asked him for bail money for a DUI, my boss just laughed and hung up on him (he was worried his parents would get angry).\
This is New York af.
Also not a cop but I saw a one during a blizzard in NYC.
It was a bad one. I lived near the Port Authority building and the streets were almost empty. For those of you who aren't from NYC, that area can have traffic jams any time of the day.
There was one cab on the street and it slid out and hit a parked car so hard it popped it up onto the sidewalk. The cabbie backed out and started to drive off.
The only other car on the road was a black SUV that suddenly pulled in front of the cab. The guy gets out and flashes his badge. The only other pedestrians suddenly yell out, "Go five oh!"
It was the only time I've ever heard people actually cheering for the police.
When you're so burned out you forget who you are.
I was on duty one day driving, not in an unmarked car but a clearly marked car. It was an hour before I was to go home so I had already mentally checked out pretty much. Anyways, I am driving down a road and this car zooms past this stop sign in front of me, causing me to slam on my breaks and slam on the horn literally close to hitting him. It's funny because I exclaimed out loud to myself in the car "MOTHER FCKER!\_I wish there was a squad car near you assh_le!" Then I proceeded to remember I WAS that squad car and turned around fifteen seconds later and pulled him over. Yea, had a little justice boner that day.
"Grand Theft Auto- Skinny Jeans edition"
Not a cop, but I want to tell the story about what happened to my son when he was about 16.
He and some friends had been hanging out at DQ. They were leaving DQ in his friend's car to go to one of their houses. They had encountered some other teenagers who were taunting them and generally being assh_les. My son was in the back seat of the car and two of his friends were up front. A dark-colored sedan pulled up next to them at a stoplight. Kid driving says to front seat passenger "It's those assh_les again! Do something!" Front seat passenger grabs a shoe and chucks it at the car's windshield.
Well, guess who was actually driving that car? LOL. I got a friendly call from the PD to come pick up my kid, along with an assurance that he hadn't done anything wrong but had really, really stupid friends.
The cop made some kind of quip as I was picking him up about "Grand Theft Auto- Skinny Jeans edition".
Why would you give Reba a ticket for listening to Reba?!
I'm a cop in Ohio, and I was driving a 2011 Hyundai Elantra. The police paid for it so it was really nice inside, leather, extra speakers, etc. One day when I was out on patrol listening to some cop rap, a guy drove past me with speakers so loud that I could hear the song (Reba McEntire) over the cop rap, so I blooped him with the siren and pulled him over. I walk up to the car and ask him what he's doing, and the tinted window rolled down, and it was Reba McEntire. I was completely stunned, and I said "I'm sorry, but a ticket's a ticket." She grinned sheepishly and said "That's fine. You're just doing your job." It was one of the highlights of my career before I retired.
Don't horse around on at 50 mph.
Obligatory I am not the officer BUT:
I was driving on a 50mph limit dual carriageway, and a nice fellow with a horsebox attached to his pickup decided that 0.2 inches behind my car on the inside lane was a nice amount of stopping distance for himself. Then he decided I wasn't having enough fun with just music, so proceeded to flash his lights. Repeatedly. Rave time!
Then decides to cut across back onto the motorway in front of me, across the chevrons, forcing me to swerve into the outside lane lest my car be written off by his clearly occupied horsebox.
Then it happens. The angelic humming of a siren - the majestic flashing blue lights of karma. Unmarked police car flies over from a little while behind me. I pass them about 5 minutes later and tooted my woefully inadequate horn. Because I could.
Impersonating a cop will land you on the wrong side of the law.
I was a detective off duty with my family when a jacka** started following me way too close. I sped up and he did too. He pulled up next to me and he's driving a Crown Vic with a full police lights package and the words "test vehicle" on the door. He's clearly upset, turns on the lights and motions for me to slow down. He picked up a radio mic and looked like he was talking into it. I was inside of my own jurisdiction by now and called dispatch to see if they knew who this dude was. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, test vehicle turns off the road behind me to a shopping center. My wife sighs heavily as I turn around and spot him getting out of the car, wearing a sweet pair of cargo shorts. I calmly took down the tag and arrived early for work the next day cause my normal caseload was going to take a break for Mr. Test Vehicle. Found out he was not a police officer but a salesman for police vehicle lights. Stroked out a warrant for impersonating a police officer and locked him up the same day. When I went over to the jail to talk to him he told me that he gets angry when people speed around him when he's driving that car. He wasn't the pervert cop impersonator type so he got a slap on the wrist but his employer was pissed when I told them.
Cheers to JohnnyNoToes for asking, "Officers of the law who drive unmarked cars, what is your best "are you f*cking kidding me" moment that you witnessed because they didn't realize you were watching?"
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Why are you mad? It's unhealthy. Do we even comprehend why we're miffed half the time? I don't, I've lost track. Although, I do get angry at the drop of a hat. So each origin can be arduous to track.
There really is no exact explanation as to why tempers can be set off. Of course, we are in sensitive times and emotions are are always at an edge, so that doesn't help.
But we really need to do some serious examining into what sets us off so easily. Anger is not an emotion that is sustainable or often has to do with logic. But let's try to find some...
Redditor u/KingOfJuiceBoxes wanted to discuss the times we've all been surprised by anger of others by asking:
What is the stupidest reason someone got mad at you?
I am at my wit's end with people who are overly polite while driving. I know on paper that sounds like a good thing but when you are polite, you tend to buck the rules. The rules I'm trusting you to follow. So when you buck the rules, even for kindness, I can't be secure as a driver. Now I'm mad.
to be richSeriously GIF by Debby RyanGiphy
"My "friend" stole a book. I asked him why he stole it when he's rich. He got really offended about the word "rich" and said I need to use the word "wealthy," because "rich" implies he didn't earn what he has. He never earned crap, especially that book."
"My ex got mad (yelling, followed by a weekend's worth of sulking silent treatment) during a road trip because I didn't know where the movie theater was or how to get there in the city we stopped in for the night. A city in which I had never been. This was years ago, before smartphones & GPS existed."
The Great Divide
"For trying to use a divider to divide his groceries from the person behind him. He told me it "offended" him and he tried to wrestle the divider away from me. He even had the audacity to tell everyone I was the crazy one."
"Jealousy is a hell of a drug, mine is "because I changed into a jumpsuit and flats at a wedding after party for my SIL, that I attended with my fiancé, her brother." CLEARLY I was actually hitting on this rando's bf in front of all my future in laws because… I… am disabled and can't stand in heels for more than an hour and wanted to be comfortable - so I guess I should have put a poncho on that says I'm Gross!!"
"To avoid confusing your man, my bad. She legit came up to my chin ready to go "I'm from Boston I'll freaking take you" I guess I'm happy her bf and another groomsman carried her away because my MIL would have slit my throat for fighting at the big money wedding. I for sure could have taken her butt lol "I'm from Boston" I'm from Canada and have thrown shovels of snow heavier than you when I was 12."
Girl!Real Madrid No GIF by DAZNGiphy
"Because I thanked their boyfriend for opening the door for me... Like, what?"
Humans are a mess. We can't have nice things. I think it's because trust has clearly become a mirage. But so many other issues are the problem. And when we can't trust that always leads to anger.
Ignoredron swanson spinning GIFGiphy
"I wasn't at my house, I told the guy I wasn't going to be there and he just ignored me and still went to my house."
"My roommates girlfriend was talking about how she needed an oil change for her car. I offered to do it for her and was explaining what all I needed to do it. My roommate got pissed and stormed off throwing a tantrum. They got into an argument because he's thinking me changing her oil is my way of trying to have sex with her. So now it's become an inside joke with me, my girlfriend, and my other roommates."
"I used to work in a store that sold food and this guy and his girlfriend came in, and he was asking me about some of the food. Normal sales conversation stuff. The girlfriend kept inserting herself between us and trying to turn him away from looking directly at me. I gave up on trying to do my actual and literal job and just walked away and she smirked at me the whole time."
"I was also cashiering up front when they got ready to check out, and the girlfriend let someone else go in front of her so they wouldn't be at my register. Ma'am if you're that insecure then that's not everyone else's problem to deal with, therapy is easily available these days."
"I used to work in a toy store when I was a teenager and there was this crazy lady who would come in once a week to yell at me because we didn't have any Chucky dolls. From the stupid movie where he comes to life and is evil. At the time, no one had them, because no one made them. Something I informed her of every week. I know they make them now so I hope she's happy."
Check Please!Michael Buble Check GIF by bublyGiphy
"This happened recently, actually. I work at a restaurant, and we're kind of short-staffed right now, so one of my managers, without my permission, decided to sign me up for some extra shifts on a volunteer sign-up form. When I reported this to my head manager, the other manager got mad at me and called me selfish, which is ironic, considering he's the laziest fool I've ever laid eyes on."
Anger in hospitality is a given. So I'll let that one slide, but seriously people... we need to do better. Except when it comes to Chucky. Anger towards Chucky is good. But let's try to be calmer in general.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.