Not everything has to be spelled out for people.
You may be at a function where the issue at hand isn't appropriate to address, or you're among acquaintances–one of whom is about to have a surprise birthday party planned for them.
Although there are ways to convey something in a surreptitious way that is understandable, not everyone has to capacity to clue in on these types of covert discussions. But when it comes to people subtly expressing amorous intentions, it doesn't always land.
Case in point, these are some of the hilarious results after Redditor Bholenaught asked:
"Girls, what was the most obvious hint you dropped, and the guy just didn't get it?"
When it comes to the language of love, some people are clueless.
Trying To Nail The Cop
"We were playing Life and he was the police officer. The rule is, if you spin a 10, he gets your 'speeding fines.' I literally pulled open my button down and exposed my breasts and said 'what can I do to get out of paying this.'”
"He said, 'ma’am. I am an officer of the law.”
"A couple of days of flirting and sexual innuendo later I literally had to spell out that I was trying to sleep with him. We’ve been together 6 years now."
The Bed Was Ready
"I'm the guy in this situation, but I couldn't help not sharing this story:"
"In college, this girl I was really into asked if I wanted to hangout at my dorm and drink and watch Netflix."
"She came over and we were watching and drinking on the couch in the livingroom, per my suggestion. Things are going good, and about an hour into it she says 'Ooh, lemme see your room', so we go to my room."
"She takes her shoes and socks off and immediately sprawls herself out on my bed and says 'Oh my god, your bed is SO comfortable!' I responded with 'We live in the same building, it's the same bed as yours.'"
"She left about 10 minutes later."
"He told me my hair looked nice. I said, 'bet it would look nicer with your hands in it.' He said, in a very confused tone, '...you want me to style your hair?'"
A Too Perfect Gentleman
"When my boyfriend and I had just started dating we were laying down watching a movie, but this was a small bed and he was being respectful and giving me space. I kept wiggling backwards so I could get closer to him and he kept inching backwards too, since he thought I was just trying to get comfortable and he was in the way. He ended up sitting in a chair next to the bed."
"Three years later we are still together, and I still think it's pretty funny. He told me that when he was in the chair he purposefully left his hand next to me in case I wanted to hold it, but I guess I missed that sign too. ( He didn't get out of the bed because he was uncomfortable, he truly thought he was taking up too much space and didn't realize I was trying to cuddle)."
People literally can't identify a love signal even if it hits them in the face.
All About Gaming
"I threw my panties at him and he kept explaining God of War lore."
"After chatting for hours on top of a mountain from sunset until like 2am, sharing a blanket, me leaning my head on his shoulder, telling him he’s attractive, etc. he turns to me and says ‘how do you tell if a girl is into you?’"
Sometimes, things just don't work out as planned.
"I'm a guy but I once had an experience where I took the hint but still got rejected. A girl had asked me if I lost my virginity yet (we were in high school). When I said I hadn't, she said that I could practise on her whenever I want, mind you we walking home after school because we lived close. I try to act on this hint when we get to her house and she said she was only joking and doesn't want it to be weird with us as friends."
"Before we started dating, I told my current boyfriend 'I love you' and he said 'awe I love you too you're such a good friend'. The whole time we thought we were both friend zoning each other. Wasted half a year going in circles smh."
Sharing a shower with romantic intention was a tactic these guys never saw coming.
"Guy here. Was invited back to study by one of the girls in my class at her apartment. We’re about half hr in and she says she might take a shower. I’m like ok - kinda random - but ok. Anyway she starts telling me the door to the shower is broken so DON’T come in. Says it three or four more times. Again, I’m like ok - weird she’s said that multiple times - but ok. Hr later the shower is still running. I can hear her singing and humming away so I know she’s ok and hasn’t drowned. Thinking gee that’s a long shower though. Water goes off and she comes out dressed and says you didn’t come in? I’m confused as I’m like WTF she told me not to... She sits back down, clearly distracted and not wanting to study. We wrap up after 5 mins. Drive home. Mate asks me how study was about a week later and the situation - which I hadn’t given a single brain cell of thought to since - I explain to him. As I’m saying it out loud the penny drops as to what a big f'khead I am."
Hopes Down The Drain
"I asked a guy on a festival to come take a shower with me. He didn't get it. He just repeated there was only one free shower and I was like 'well they are big I'm sure it's fine' and he just looked confused and told me I could go first. We became close friends since that happened about 2 years ago and this summer I spoke to him about it and he really had no idea. He did the biggest facepalm I've ever seen."
When I was closeted in high school, I've had a number of flirtatious female classmates making every possible move to indicate it was okay for me to initiate something.
I wasn't an idiot.
Unlike many guys on this thread, I knew very well what these girls were up to, but I feigned ignorance because I was so confused about my sexuality, yet, I didn't want to lead them on either.
I just hope they remember, it's nothing personal.