Don't cheat.
[rebelmouse-image 18353308 is_animated_gif=It's such an awful thing to do to your partner. There is truly no reason to go behind their back. The betrayal is what makes it so hard to swallow! And if you fear you may be being cheated on, never fear. Reddit is here.
u/40PercentPolyester asked Reddit:
What were the subtle signs your ex-SO showed while cheating?
Here were some of the dead giveaways.
Elaborate Lies
[rebelmouse-image 18353309 is_animated_gif=She started encouraging me to go out without her more often, never did that before, couldn't stand to be apart from me.....
In retrospect there were a lot of things, but I didn't notice any of them, meanwhile she was basically in a yearlong relationship with one of my best friends and I was oblivious!
Beautiful Liar
[rebelmouse-image 18353311 is_animated_gif=Not so subtle, but being guarded with his phone, and every time I caught a glimpse of the screen while he was using it, it was the same girl. Asked who she is and it's his friend from "dog-walking club" (yeah right... they actually met on Tinder).
He also went through my phone, and not very subtly either, because he accidentally sent random thumbs up to a lot of people on Facebook chat.
Then there was the random message from the above-mentioned girl, who had gone to the effort of looking me up and telling me to "back off her boyfriend". Hahahahahaha. There were a lot of things she didn't know either, apparently.
Projecting
[rebelmouse-image 18353312 is_animated_gif=I was getting accused of being sneaky. There was suddenly an interest in who I was texting and where I was going. She was projecting her dishonesty onto me.
Nah Bro
[rebelmouse-image 18353313 is_animated_gif=I'm not on great terms with my family, so I suggested making a roast chicken for the two of us for Thanksgiving. She opted to go to her roommate's family's place.
The roommate who I learned she was sleeping with shortly afterwards.
Ummmm
[rebelmouse-image 18347304 is_animated_gif=Got a new phone and changed his number. When I asked for the number he said I couldn't have it because it was "his personal phone"
Hot Lies
[rebelmouse-image 18353315 is_animated_gif=I live in the Phoenix metro. During the summer you'd have to be daft to go outside for an extended period of time when it is over 100 degrees.
When my ex was cheating, she'd go outside and talk to her "friend" on her cell. In July.
Actually that's not terribly subtle, now that I think of it.
Warning
[rebelmouse-image 18349557 is_animated_gif=The way they said their name in casual conversation. And then, the frequency. And then suddenly, they disappear from conversation. This cycle can repeat itself.
Two different partners, this was my first clue. Warning bells went off...I was right each time.
A New Life
[rebelmouse-image 18353316 is_animated_gif=Not caring about our relationship, and completely leaving me out of anything she ever did. She just lost care in it.
Eyeballing
[rebelmouse-image 18353317 is_animated_gif=Her eyes, they showed everything. Hell, I could have a one-sided conversation.
Hmmm
[rebelmouse-image 18353318 is_animated_gif=She had a lot of dates for someone in a relationship.
Words Of Wisdom
[rebelmouse-image 18353319 is_animated_gif="Does she keep her phone locked around you, Michael? Does she watch how much she drinks around you, Michael? ... Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex?" - Ryan 'The Office'
Disparate Lives
[rebelmouse-image 18353321 is_animated_gif=He suddenly became concerned about his looks but didn't want me to look good ( went on a diet, started wearing contacts) and started shaving his pubes which he wouldn't do for me. Also became distant (lack of interest in sex) spent a lot of time on his phone, had weird mood swings that didn't relate to our relationship fights/ make ups, lots of other signs...
Double Edge
[rebelmouse-image 18353322 is_animated_gif=He lost interest. Didn't want to do anything romantic and was more like a friend than anything. Yet, the second I tried to leave the relationship, he acted like his entire existence was inside of me and he was desperate to keep it around.
Here Comes A List
[rebelmouse-image 18347139 is_animated_gif=After having a long abusive relationship with a multiple confirmed cheating girl i can tell:
- She didnt go to events or partys with me that were public
- Her not telling anyone about her being in a relationship
- Or even worse, hearing "Wait you are still together? I thought you broke up!" from a mutual friend
- When picking her up from parties she didnt want to go together she would be coming from another direction than from the place the party" was at
- Her not being okay with unannounced visits from me
- Other random bullsh-t that doesnt make any sense
Independence?
[rebelmouse-image 18353323 is_animated_gif=He started working out more, shaved all his body hair off, hid his phone, had random outburst of laughter while looking at his phone, use a random address for everything instead of your actual home address, send flowers to a house you don't know, take random holiday without you, money goes missing, goes out more without you.
All That Time Looking For Paper Towels
[rebelmouse-image 18353324 is_animated_gif=He started including really specific things in his stories to make them seem more realistic. For example: I was at the store with my mom and we were in the paper towel aisle.
They didn't make it more realistic. Just made me believe him less.
No Information
[rebelmouse-image 18353326 is_animated_gif=Getting really defensive when asked about their day. I ask questions because I'm interested in what's going on in their life. But when the answers don't make sense I ask more questions because I figured I was misunderstanding.
Space: The Final Frontier
[rebelmouse-image 18353327 is_animated_gif=Was an SO for 5 years, going 6. It was the New Year of 2014. When everything was going well, he suddenly asked for 'space'. I asked if he wanted a day, or a week. He said he wanted a month. I gave him that. As in zero bothering.
February came. We met and he called it quits and though it saddened me, it gave me time to improve on myself and reflect. It was mid-March, and just when I was able to get my life back together, he contacted me again. He told me he wanted me back. I was elated and hopeful. He said that there is just one condition that he wanted to compromise on to show that "I" had changed - and that is to limit my questions of his whereabouts and limit my calls to him to just his lunch time. Realizing that I might have gone overboard with calls and questions when I was with him (he was on a night shift in a particularly shady environment, and it didn't help that I was a worrywart), I agreed. But there was something in my gut that tells me something doesn't seem fair.
Since then, I fought the urge to even simply ask him how his day was, or make any leisurely talk with him just to comply and prove to myself and to him that I don't have trust issues - because if I don't, he'll call it out on me.
Then, in November of that year, his friend from his workplace died. I was scared because I hadn't heard from him for almost 2 days during the funeral, and I am worried that he might be devastated. My worry turned to anger when he just said that he placed his phone on silent mode, spent the night with his mates in the funeral, and told me "I have to ignore you since the funeral was the only time I can talk to my workplace friends and you disturb me a lot."
I apologized for my anger and just let him be. I still have to prove to him that I am not bothersome. We became okay afterwards. It wasn't a big fight, but I was quite offended by what he just said. I was just worried because it was not typical of him to not inform me of his whereabouts.
Three weeks after the funeral, he just dropped the "I'm breaking up with you for good." No warnings.
I was beyond devastated. Fast forward 2015, he came back one midnight (!) asking for me to leave my bf (now husband), crying and regretting that he dismissed all my concern and my thoughtfullness when we were together. Funny thing is, he had a gf when he begged me to get back together. And that gf is the one who he cheated me with. He told me that his gf hated it when he gets concerned, thoughtful or sweet and that he misses me who appreciates all that.
I dismissed him with, "You'll find yourself a good woman eventually."
People, remember that sufficient proximity and proper communication are indispensible in a good relationship. If your SO keeps on asking for too much SPACE, s/he might as well be on the next rocketship out of your life.
Two Years?!
[rebelmouse-image 18351367 is_animated_gif=He never allowed me to touch his phone. Like even if he needed it, I wasn't allowed to pass it too him. Similarly, when he got a text message from anyone, the text didn't show up on the screen as a preview it was just the notification. We weren't friends on Facebook until we had dated for 2 years (yes I know this is weird looking back but at the time it was normal). He was very secretive about who he was meeting up with. He would never refer to them by name but just as 'his friends'. I was never introduced to said 'friends'. I once when to visit him and he had a pair of earrings and a leather jacket in his room. After we split up, about a month or so later, he was in a relationship with someone else, it was all over Facebook and they went on holiday together!
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Conor Mckenna Influencer GIF by FoilArmsandHogGiphyWork/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyHAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Roommates Move In GIF by James Madison UniversityGiphySome People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by Fighting Illini AthleticsGiphySchool Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
animation domination calendar GIF by gifnewsGiphyLiving in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...