Not all secrets are taken to the grave. In fact most secrets always find a way to be heard. Usually guilt is the key to unearthing confessions, it's often too much to bare.
I think it's because nobody wants to die guilty, just in case there is whole afterlife situation. It's best to start the next journey with a clean slate. That's why we hear so many tales about sudden deathbed confessions. Nurses, doctors, cops, witnesses have a plethora of memories and secrets they've been told. And I am here for all the tea.
People are scandalous! Shall we listen?
Redditoru/alyssaoftheeastwanted to hear all the dish health care workers have to serve, by asking:
Nurses of Reddit, what are some of the most memorable death bed confessions you've had a patient give?
I have no guilt. So I'll be taking it all to the grave. Unless of course my mind is rattled and I have no control over my senses. But if stay in control, my lips are sealed. Let's hear about the souls who felt the need to purge.
Be Sure
Animated GIFGiphy"I had a client (90 year old male) confess to his wife and children that while he was away on business, he obtained another family."
"He lived another two years. Wife and children kinda cast him off. He thought he was dying immediately of cancer, they were multimillionaires, he tried to spend as much as he could out of spite so his children wouldn't inherit any of it."
"22"
"Took care of a WW2 veteran with dementia. He would say the number "22" over and over and the family never knew the significance of it. The number didn't line up with any significant events or dates that they were aware of. The day before he died his mental state became incredibly clear and he started telling the staff "22 men. I killed 22 men over there." Poor guy. He lived with that anguish for 50+ years."
- Nurse317
He knew this...
"Kind of similar I suppose. I'm a scrub nurse. My job is to assist the surgeon during surgeries. I was preparing an elderly patient for a pretty high risk surgery. There was a good chance he was going to be fine but there was also a decent chance things were going to go south. He knew this."
"While the CRNA is doing her thing getting the anesthesia ready I'm standing next to him going over his chart and signed releases and he says to me, "I need you to tell my wife I'm sorry for all the times I raised my voice at her. There weren't many times. But right now I wish there weren't any." That was the first time I ever got choked up at the bed side. Thank goodness for masks because it helped hide my expression."
"I so badly wanted to tell him everything was going to be okay but no one knew if it was going to be. I said back to him, "I'll do anything you need me to, but right now let's think about some happy memories before you go under." I asked him to tell me about he and his wife's first date. Once he was under I excused myself before scrubbing in to stop myself from crying. He made it through surgery and his wife was waiting for him after being transferred from the PACU."
Speak Spanish...
"Kind of a confession. My grandmother was from Spain. At some point in my life I was like "Why don't I know how to speak Spanish?" So I asked my mom, as I've never heard her speak Spanish either. She said, "My mom came to America and was one of the 'we are in America now, so we speak English now' people."
"When we started pestering her to teach us Spanish, she claimed that she forgot how to speak it. We all kind of thought she was full of crap, but she was adamant about it. She was sharp as a tack until her mid 90s and lived alone. Finally, it was too much and we moved her to our house, and then to assisted living because she wanted to be closer to her friends."
"When she ended up in a nursing home because she was on her last legs, and her mind started to go, we caught her speaking Spanish to the mostly Hispanic staff. Basically, she had to go senile to forget that she told us that she couldn't speak Spanish. It was an unintentional confession that she always knew how to speak Spanish, but she just didn't want to because it wasn't the American thing to do."
- EatATaco
Bye Now...
sad miss you GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy"Just the people who die alone. The next of kin is usually a distant niece or nephew. I hated those calls because I would inform them of the passing and they would just say, "Ok, thank you." And hang up."
Oof. See there? Now is why I say "lips are sealed." What if there is an eleventh hour miracle after I've confessed to some ludicrous sin? How embarrassing. No thank you. Who else spilled some tea?
I hear Toni...
excited toni braxton GIF by Soul TrainGiphy"My Grandfather lived into his 90s. According to my Grandma, his last lucid words the day before he passed was when he called out, "Unpoop my pants!" Not very profound, but very memorable, because that song was popular at the time, so now I always imagine that line sung in Toni Braxton's voice."
People Share The Most Selfless Thing They've Ever Secretly Done | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Nonna...
"Nurse here. An old lady gave me some questionable advice. She was this 90-something Italian Nonna, all dressed in black skirts and dripping with rosary beads and crucifixes, very Catholic. She told me "to be happy in life, you need 3 men. 1 for the money, 1 for the love, 1 for the boom-boom-boom" (sex). Can't say I agree with her, but it's certainly memorable."
Visiting Hours
"I recently cared for a woman who had multiple acute strokes in a short amount of time. A week before she had been independent, riding her horse every day, still teaching part time at the local school, despite being in her 80s. By the time she got to me she was completely nonverbal, incontinent, and unable to feed herself."
"I had a feeling that she was neurologically intact enough to understand what was going on, so I talked to her as much as I could when I was in the room. Talked to her about her daughters who had called every day, her husband (who hadn't called, but I left that part out), the weather, her horses, her students who had sent a card. On the last day of my workweek, her daughter from out of state had finally found a flight up. They sat in silence and held hands for hours."
"Visiting hours ended right at shift change, so I walked in to give report as the daughter was saying goodbye. The patient then spoke what I knew were going to be her last words- 'I'll always be looking after you." And pointed to her daughter, and then at me, and then she fell asleep. Two days later when I came back to work, I was informed she had passed away in the night."
"adventures"
"One of the most challenging moments I had with a patient that was passing was a woman in her 80's with advanced dementia and trying to recover from a severe bed sore that had gone septic (from a nursing home with a bad reputation). She often confused me with her second husband, her daughter told me I looked a lot like him. The patient would often talk about "our" sexual exploits including swinging and partner swapping as well as very wild "adventures."
"I had given up on trying to tell her I was not her husband because I just confused her and upset her so I learned to just play along. She talked to me often about "our" children and other family and many non-sexual adventures they had. It made her happy to talk about it and often left me with a smile."
- Hobie642
"quite a few"
alfred hitchcock noir GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"My husband isn't a nurse, but he is a police officer. He has heard "quite a few" dying declarations at crime scenes. People confessing to crimes, witnesses to crimes or telling cops all the info about something. It is admissible and he had to write everything down. Crazy stuff."
It Happens...
"I was speaking with a nurse and she said that a lot of patients pass away alone because they don't feel right passing over with other people present. That is why you have a lot of people waiting bedside, then go home and 10 minutes later... the person passes away. Apparently happens all the time."
A Sliver Lining
"My dad loves small town auctions and over the years he collected all those boxes of stuff that would go for the lowest bid. He amassed quite a collection, filling the garage and a workshop out back. He always promised Mom he'd sell it all some day in some big garage sale or auction of his own."
"Then one day my mom's cancer returned and the doctors told us this time it wasn't a fair fight. Two weeks before she passed I was sitting with her in the hospital. We'd run out of things to say. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the pain, and said, "Thank God at least I won't have to deal with your dad's stuff." Me and mom burst out laughing. Don't tell my Dad."
See ya soon...
"The last conversation my grandma and i had before she died was when she was dozing off and i was watching Ghost Adventures. She asked if i really believed in that kind of stuff. I told her yes and when she died she can come back and haunt me to prove me right. She just said, "oh ok" and went back to napping. She died the next week."
"speeding up her pass"
Love You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy"My aunt was a nurse and had some pretty strange stories about it. I think the worst of all was about another nurse that was brought after a car crash. She was terrified about someone "speeding up her pass" because of her injuries. She told my aunt that was a common practice and admitting doing it herself several times."'
School Daze
"There was a gentleman on his deathbed at 56 years old. He was pissed off yelling that he started at an early age going to preschool-- to get into the right grade school --to get into the right high school-- to get in to the right Ivy league University and high paying job. That was the year he was to set up his family for life being able to fund their college and pay off the mortgage. This went on for about 4 hours before he passed. Truly tragic."
For Grandpa...
"My mom and I look very similar, the only difference is our hair color (she's got black hair and I'm blond). But when she was my age, she bleached her hair, so functionally I just look like my mother in her 20s. My grandfather went downhill in his last year and his Alzheimer's got worse, to the point where he didn't know a lot of people. But he could recognize me, not as his grandchild, but as his 20-something year old daughter. I played along, and got a lot of stories out of him. They're fun memories, but they hurt all the same."
A Memior
"I'm an intern and I work with the elderly at a day centre. A 90something year old man (who was very loved by everyone) was committing euthanasia (which is legal in the Netherlands) that afternoon. He still wanted to come to us. All the nurses and social workers were pretty emotional for his last day. It can be weird to talk to someone in the morning, knowing they will end their lives that afternoon."
"I got to go on a walk with him. I was pushing his wheel chair and we just talked about life. That one hour he taught me so so so much about life. He told all about his trauma from WW2, about how it affected him and about how he overcame it. He never told anyone, not even his wife, about everything that happened. He gave me so many life lessons that day, and I will be always be thankful for that."
"Zoot Suit Riots"
"Worked in a nursing home for about a decade doing hospice, rehab, and all kinds of long-term care stuff. Anyway, I had a fellow who had worked at the Army Film Unit in LA during the war. As he was dying, when it looked like he wasn't going to make it through the night- I sat with him and just talked. He was remarkably lucid the entire time. He told me that he'd been present at the "Zoot Suit Riots" and had stabbed a man to death and was never prosecuted."
"I never could find any evidence of anyone having been killed during those 5 days in LA when the riots took place. Maybe he killed someone not related to the fray at all. Anyway... he also told me about getting a BJ from Rosemary Clooney in a bar on Sunset so, who knows."
Accept People
Episode 9 Hug GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Doctor here - working in the deep south I've heard a lot of patients regret disowning their gay/lesbian children and the relationship they could've had."
"Unfortunately rigid religious/political dogma tears apart more families than most people realize. Life is short. Accept people, especially the ones you love, for who they are and not who you would like them to be. That's always been the takeaway lesson I got from hearing these stories."
Leaving Canada...
"My first year as a nurse I worked in palliative care. Had a 28yo dying of cancer. She moved here from Canada to be with her boyfriend who left her a year after moving. We weren't expecting her to deteriorate so fast. I held her hand as she died alone without her family or friends."
"But right before she died, she told me she wished she never left Canada and cried. Her family were overseas and couldn't make it in time. It's memorable to me because it reminds me to tell my family I love them regularly and to spend time with friends and to stop making excuses."
I hope the nurses and death crews out there are keeping journals. Some of this is tragic, but most of it is comedy gold. Oh my.
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As children, when we saw grown-ups behave in certain ways, we more than likely promised ourselves we would never be like them.
That we would never lose our temper at minor things, groan over the slightest ache in our bodies, or choose work over fun.
However, when adulthood creeps up on us, certain things about the person you become you have little to no control over.
As a result, you might find yourself screaming at children for being too noisy or going to bed at 9:15 instead of seeing a midnight screening of your favorite movie and realizing that you have become the very thing you've been trying to avoid your entire life.
Redditor UglyLikeCaillou was curious to hear what type of person the Reddit community ended up becoming, despite vowing they wouldn't, leading them to ask:
"What type of person did you swear to never turn into growing up, but did anyway?"
Letting It Out Can Ease The Pain...
"The one that makes noises when I get up off the floor."- tutohooto
The Wise Know The Vital Importance Of Being Silly
"I swore I’d never stop being goofy."
"That I’d always try to find the positive and wouldn’t give up hope."
"But then life happened."
"It’s hard staying an emotionally sensitive and caring person when so many people are just plain mean."- Lucky_Garbage5537
It's Possible, Even In A Room Full Of People...
"I never thought I would grow up to be so lonely, but here I am."- oldbaldgrumpy
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphyTemper Temper...
"An angry person."
"Life and people are just too much all the time."-Jumpy-Air-3385
Some Call It Frugal, Others Call It Cheap....
"The kind that put something back cause the store brand was 20 cents cheaper."- penndelnj
A Far Too Common Occurrence
"I never thought I'd live paycheck to paycheck by my age."
"I thought I'd be on my way to being financially independent by now, in fact."
"It's always been my goal, I was willing to work so hard from such a young age and never scared to make sacrifices but unfortunately my people-reader is skewed and all I ever really got was taken advantage of."
"It's not too late, I'm smarter now and I'll get there."- FriendCountZero
2 Chainz Pockets GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphyWorking Hard For The Money...
"A corporate slave."- lapdanze
"My dad was an engineer and I vowed to never be like him in any way."
"Growing up, I always said over my dead body would i become a corporate slave chained to a desk."
"Guess who is a desk jockey engineer now."- Lame_usernames_left
Watch Your Mouth!
"If my child self met my adult self, he’d tell me that I shouldn’t say so many bad words."- BarthRevan
The Apple Doesn't Fall Very Far From The Tree...
"My dad."- PolarBearChuck
"The most relatable one, nobody wants to become their parents, it’s horrible (unless you have good parents)."- Fine-Macaroon-3202
season 2 episode 6 GIFGiphyThe Comfort Of Your Own Home...
"A homebody."
"In my early 20’s I would never miss an opportunity to go out on Thurs, Friday, or Sat night and couldn’t understand why my parents would ‘waste’ a perfectly good weekend night, just to stay home."
"Now I get it. MAN, do I get it."
Derogatory Term, Or Term Of Endearment?
"I remember learning what a nerd was and thinking 'thank God I'm not a nerd' as I went home from school to play Pokemon Emerald and talk on Pokemon message boards about the upcoming Diamond and Pearl games."- hectoByte
Early To Bed, Early To Rise
"The dad that gets up at 4:30 am to exercise, and is ready for bed by 9 pm."- GreyPilgrim1973
Work Out Pain GIF by I Want You Back MovieGiphyBeauty Comes In All Sizes...
"Overweight."
"Not super big, but not skinny anymore."- hoosierhiver
One Can Indeed Be The Loneliest Number...
"Crotchety, single old lady."
"I'm only sometimes crotchety, but I'm almost fifty and still single!"- GimmeUrNachos
Love What You Do! If You Can...
"An office drone."
"Redditing as we speak to avoid looking at yet another ghastly eyesore of a spreadsheet.'
"Why have we done this to ourselves as a civilization?"- onemanmelee
Still Waiting Office Tv GIF by The OfficeGiphyGrowing up can be scary, hence why we always promise ourselves we won't turn out a certain way.
Even so, some things about the type of person we grow up to be are completely out of our control.
And rather than bemoan our current situation, it's always best to embrace it and enjoy the precious time we have on Earth with our family and friends.
And maybe cut our parents a little slack for the behavior we judged them so harshly on as children...
Redditor BlastEffects wanted to hear about money choices that have gone south for people, so they asked:
"What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made financially?"
I love movies.
I spent way too much on videotapes.
I never saw DVDs coming, let alone streaming.
Onward
Season 10 Hug GIF by FriendsGiphy"Consumed copious amounts of drugs and alcohol for most of my adult life. 11 years sober though."
b_a_b_a_r
"I came here to say something similar to this. Addiction is the most expensive and life-altering thing I've ever encountered - both financially and emotionally. I too have more than a few 24 hours put together now. Life is better. Happy for you!!"
ajmaccc
Decisions. Decisions.
"I've just generally been too reckless with money in my life. I haven't ever really made any single huge financial mistakes, I've just made a large number of smaller impulsive money decisions that have led to me having very little saved. Currently working on it, though, and I am doing better."
slinkocat
My Parent's Did It
"Bought a timeshare. We ended up just not paying the maintenance fees until they repossessed it."
Glittercorn111
"My parents have had theirs for about 30 years. I've gotten bogged down in these timeshare arguments before because Reddit can't believe some people have had good experiences. I think the key is that 30 or 40 years ago they weren't quite as scammy. Certainly never an 'investment,' but you weren't actively getting conned. Plus, it's a lot easier to deal with once it's actually paid off. Most people never get that far."
"My parent's contract locked in all these lower rates and has all the guaranteed perks the new ones haven't offered in years. The company is desperate to get them onto the new contract. They've offered all kinds of extra free weeks and upgrades, but my parents won't do it because that new system is basically worthless."
Madmax2356
Not a Hoarder
"I’m in therapy now and it’s getting better, but I was dealing with my trauma and depression by buying things with money I didn’t have, just to have something to constantly look forward to every day in the mail. You have to order a lot, constantly, to achieve that. And I’m not a hoarder, so I’ll buy something and when I realize it has nowhere to go and I don’t use it for a year, it ends up donated or in the trash."
propernice
I Don't
Car Breaking Up GIF by megan motownGiphy"Not immediately divorcing my ex-wife when I caught her cheating."
vikrambedi
"Marriage was my greatest mistake. I can't even afford to finalize the divorce."
myheartbeats4hotdogs
Debt
Student Loans Corona GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"Student loans for a career path I’m not even doing anymore."
armchairdaisy
"Don’t beat yourself up. 73% of people don’t use the degree they went to school for. Most degrees are just all companies want for you to prove you can take crap and follow directions."
Strong-Solution-7492
At a Loss
"Bought horses. Sold horses at a loss."
Patient5199
"Same, buying horses (am currently on horse #2 and 3) was probably the worst financial decision I ever made. At this point, over the last 12 years, the amount I spent on them is easily the equivalent of a down payment on a pretty decent house or a few years of earlier retirement."
"But it is also one of the most satisfying decisions I made on an emotional level. Could not imagine living without them."
NewWorldCamelid
Really regret that...
"Initially, I was thinking 'Going to college,' but as I reflected a little more I realized going to college wasn't the worst financial decision I've made -- it was all the stupid choices I made in college, instead of studying."
AestheticCopacetic
"I'm right there with you."
"I was never a good student and only went to college because I was 'supposed' to. I wanted to go to a beauty school or design school. Wasted my years barely scraping by, and had a C- average. Now I'm 51 and regret not going for my dreams and since I was in school, why didn't I take my education more seriously? Really regret that."
Overlandtraveler
Hindsight
"Filing bankruptcy when I didn’t owe that much. I was young and overwhelmed and thought I couldn’t pay it off, but in hindsight, I see I could have. Ruined credit for 10 years. Couldn’t even get a phone in my own name. Had to get prepaid, which was expensive as f**k. Couldn’t get an apartment. Couldn’t get a car."
manykeets
"I feel this. It set me back and was a constant issue with everything for a while. It took a few years before I could get back to normalcy."
ticketspleasethanks
Ahoy Not!
friend sinking GIFGiphy"Bought a sailboat. Enough said."
flawedwithvice
"A colleague who sailed told me I could get the same experience, by sitting on my knees in a cold shower, crying and tearing up $100 bills... He did keep his sailboat a couple of more years though."
Norseman84
Boats just never did it for me.
A floating house is an unnecessary extra house, and bill.
The Worst Things People Can Say At A Funeral