Nurses Divulge The Most Haunting Thing They Ever Heard Someone Say On Their Deathbed
The things we are faced with at the end of life are unimaginable.
The mind is ready to unload it all in those last moments.
I suppose it's because when we know the end is coming, it's our last chance to try and make it right or unburden ourselves.
Just in case there is a hereafter.
And the people who always catch these last-minute monologues besides our loved ones?
Nurses and healthcare workers.
Redditormaaraa_hwanted to hear from healthcare workers who have been there in the end. They asked:
"Nurses of reddit, what where the most haunting things someone said on their deathbed?"
I have many a bean to spill. But I'd have to be on morphine to confess half of them.
I Confess
"So this happened a couple of years ago. We had an ex-gang guy who was dying of cancer and he confessed that he was the gang hit-man for many years. He wanted to confess to all the killings and show the police where the bodies are buried."
"He would get closure knowing that the surviving families of his victims find out where they are buried. We had to get the hospital legal team involved cause we had no policies to deal with that. Cops got involved and the dude confessed to gang murders from decades ago."
lurkermuch
Tell Them
"Was an EMT-B on the 911 unit that got a call about a hit and run. Cops were on the scene first. The area of the city I worked in was rough. Some guy and his GF had got into a fight in the parking lot. It ended with the guy running over his GF, then backing up over her. Needless to say, she wasn’t doing well, and her vitals were tanking."
"We loaded her up, with a fireman and police officer joined with us in the back of the rig. She kept mumbling 'Tell my mom. Please tell my mom.' And naturally I figured it was her asking us to let her mom know she was hurt. The hospital takes care of that and I put it out of my mind rather quick as we were working over her."
"She flatlined before we arrived. They did not get her back. My partner was finishing up her paperwork and we turned to give her wallet back to the staff. The nurse on duty, who I knew pretty well, was reading a dirty piece of paper. She looked disgusted. When I asked what was up she simply put the piece of paperwork down."
"It was a letter that was picked up near her purse on scene. She had gotten accepted into a college. I realized then that in the ambulance, she was asking us to tell her mom she got into college. That is a deep sadness I have never forgotten."
Nspired_1
Cats know things...
"I provided hospice care for a loved one so she could die in her own home rather than a hospital. At the end, she became convinced that taking morphine for the pain was killing her. She would lay in agony asking me for help but refused the pain meds. I resorted to just raising and lowering her bed to help her get comfortable. The day she died her cat went from being aloof to sleeping on the bed with her. Cats know things."
GrandmaPoly
Oh Irene!
"I had a patient whose memory had been fading for years. It’s weird, right before a patient dies, sometimes they’ll sudden be doing a lot better. Anyway, he thought I was his late wife. I played along and just listened to him while he recalled his engagement, his wedding, his first childbirth, and a few other memories for me."
"At one point, he says 'Oh! Irene, there you are! Sorry, you know my eyes aren’t as good as they used to be. Well, thank you for listening to an old man tell his stories. I hope you have great stories to tell one day too. I’m coming, Irene.' And then he passed. He was my first long-time patient."
bedroompopprincess
Wow. People really hold in a lot. Sad.
“Will I die?”
"I had to tell my grandmother that dialysis would only give her another week or so to live and it was her choice to try or not. She was in and out of consciousness at that point and was in a clear state for the moment. She asked, 'Will I die?' I said, 'yes.'"
"She looked me in the eye and smiled just a little and said, 'sometimes you gotta do what you don’t want to do.' She closed her eyes, squeezed my hand and slept until she passed a day later. When things get hard, I always hear her say, 'sometimes you gotta do what you don’t want to do.'"
-Silouan-
“don’t let it bother you”
"Not a nurse, but my grandfather was put into a 24/7 care home with severe Parkinson’s. My mom and grandma had spent 4 years basically taking care of him constantly and needed a break for a couple weeks (although visiting him every other day in shifts)."
"I went one day alone and he looked me straight in the eye and said 'I need you to get me home so I can die, I can’t do it here.”' I tried saying everything I could to the nurses and my family to get him home without saying what he told me. 24 hours later he got rushed to emergency, as he was dying he looked at me and said 'don’t let it bother you' and died. Still bothers me."
Wanderedabit
Things in the world...
"While in hospice my grandma said to me... 'A, there are a great many things in this world worse than dying.' Then talked about how lucky she was to have lived the life she did. I had never looked at death like that before and that conversation truly changed me and my outlook. She was the most wonderful person."
feddeftones
“I found Jack”
"About 2 minutes before my grandma passed she had clarity (she’d suffered from severe dementia for years). She opened her eyes and said, 'I found Jack.' (My grandpa who’d died eight years prior). She said they were at a ball with their friends. Then she said, 'I’ve gotta go, he asked me to dance.' Then she was gone."
Chilibean127
It's just death...
"Many moons ago when I was a nursing student, a man in his 40s was lying on his deathbed from terminal cancer, his sobbing wife lying in bed next to him. He looked at his wife, using the last bit of energy he had to gently wipe away her tears and stroke her cheek. He took off his oxygen mask and said 'don't worry love, don't be afraid. It's just death' and passed shortly after."
vikingnurse
Dad
"Former CNA in the dementia unit of an assisted living facility. 'My dad is on his way to pick me up now.' She said that every time I checked on her until she died about a week after it started. While she was still mobile she would tidy her room and sit on the edge of her bed and just wait most of the day."
sikeaux
Wearing black...
"Not a nurse, but my mom, uncle, and aunt all said that when their grandfather died, he kept telling people to kick out, 'that bald headed *itch' out of the room. When they'd ask who, he'd say, 'the one wearing the black shawl, she keeps knocking on the window.' There was no one there obviously, they think he saw the reaper or something like that.
UnderwaterPianos
Death
"My patient grabbed my arm, looked me in the eyes and said 'please don’t let me die, I have a daughter.'”
macncheebs
"This is the one that gets me. I’ve made peace with the idea that I’m going to die someday not of my choosing but the idea of leaving my young children alone in this world terrifies me and fuels my desire to be a better parent."
00uwu
Late in Life
"I’ve had multiple people begging for their mothers. It made me even more sad because it was people well into their 80s/90s, who’s mothers were obviously no longer around."
x_JaneDoe
"My 85 y/o grandmother passed away on Monday. The day before she passed, when she was still able to speak, she thought I was her mother. She looked in my eyes and said 'It’s my mama.' That’ll stick with me for the rest of my life. That, and the single tear that fell from her eye the moment she passed."
daughterofpolonius
“it is what it is”
"My great uncle’s last words before he passed were 'it is what it is.' I know it’s really common but I find myself saying it quite a lot nowadays. It is what it is My great aunt who lived to be 101 was straight vegetative for like a month or so before passing, the day after her 101st birthday."
"On the day OF her birthday, she suddenly was conscious and awake as everybody had come to leave a birthday cake. She told stories and laughed. Then she went back to being comatose and died the next day. Woman loved her birthday lol."
PanzerKatze96
Forget you Family
"Not a nurse but was a cop and I was with a 20 year old who took his own life. He checked into a nice hotel and his parents reported him missing. Anyways they found out he was in a hotel by a credit card charge. I was the responding officer and when I arrived, I knocked on the door he answered and was really cool. We chatted for a few minutes and I asked him if he was willing to come down stairs to meet with his parents."
"He went back into his room and I held the door open. It appeared he was putting on a jacket but he pulled out a gun, placed it on his temple and said, 'f**k my family, this is on them' and pulled the trigger. First time someone mulled themselves in front of me and wasn’t the last. That s**t haunts you years later."
The_Troll_Gull
"How long was I out for that time?"
"Looked after a guy with end stage heart failure. He kept having episodes where if he coughed or leaned forward - anything to increase his intra thoracic pressure, he would pass out. He would come back after a few minutes and gradually go from purple back to pink. 'How long was I out for that time?' He was fully mentally fine - sharp, witty and at peace with what was going to eventually happen to him."
"Him and me were joking that one of these episodes were going to kill him, as he sipped his tea and we talked rubbish. 5 minutes later it happened again and he didn't come back. He had a DNR order which was sensible. Very eerie to talk to somebody so vibrant and alert minutes before he died. Such a nice dude, I want to be in that mindset when I go too."
knifechoir
“I didn’t want to kill the kids”
"Physical Therapist here. I treated a man in his nineties who was a DNR/DNI. At least once a week when I would go to his room to start our sessions he would cry and say 'I didn’t want to kill the kids.' After speaking to his nurse, it was revealed that he had killed children in WW2. He collapsed during a session and said 'the kids are here to get me.' He died a few minutes later."
RCee7
‘beautiful, beautiful’
"My stepfather passed away last year. Towards the end he was very cranky and hadn’t treated my mother very kindly. Before he lost consciousness he was stroking her face saying ‘beautiful, beautiful’… that made me happy."
crystalisedginger
Now
"My grandmother grasped the nurses hand and said 'I think I’m going to die now.' The nurse was telling her no she was doing much better and would likely leave soon but my grandmother was gone before she could finish her sentence. She knew."
KneeDragr
"I’ve literally written 'impending sense of doom' on a patients chart. If they die I want it known I took them seriously! Doc laughed at me, I don’t care, I stand by upgrading that chart to a more serious code."
the_sar_chasm
"I'm done"
"My dad was in the hospital and found out he had lung cancer. It was him, my step mom, and a nurse in the room. He told my step mom to get him something just to get her to leave the room. The nurse said that before she could stop him he took off his oxygen mask, said 'I'm done' and he lost consciousness immediately. He was on life support for a day or so but he was already gone. When we pulled the plug his body died in less than 5 minutes. I guess he really was done."
HumpieDouglas
Let it go. Let it go. It's all you can do.
And thank you, healthcare workers.
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The 'Brokest' Things People Have Ever Done
"Reddit user w3stward asked: 'What’s the brokest thing you’ve ever done?'"
When the money is gone... it's GONE!
And when that happens, we have to adjust.
People pivot in order to survive.
Some of us find coupons and discounts galore.
Some of us skip meals.
But when people are broke and still have to keep living, one has to get creative.
Redditor w3stward wanted to hear about the ways we've all stretched a few dollars, so they asked:
"What’s the brokest thing you’ve ever done?"
Payday
I Cant Hard Times GIF by La Guarimba Film FestivalGiphy"Called in sick on Wednesday because I didn't have enough gas money to drive to work but one more time, which I waited until Thursday to do, because that was payday."
TrailerParkPrepper
Pennies
"I was subletting a place and needed bus fare to get to work that day, so I searched every couch cushion and coat pocket in the hopes that I could find enough to get there. I ended up finding a ton of pennies, so I paid the bus fare in pennies. I was 30 cents short but the bus driver just gave me a transfer and waved me in. The first customer of the day tipped me like $5 on their coffee and I've never been so happy in my life."
GeoGirl07
Mitzvah Tanks
"In the early 2000s, the garment district in Manhattan had 'Mitzvah Tanks.' It was basically a mobile synagogue for the devout to come to handle religious observation during the workday with a Rabbi. Turns out they had bagels in there. I was just starting out my career (I was 21 or so) and money was tight. I would go in 3x a week and get bagels."
"If no one was looking I would stuff an extra into my suit pocket. I don’t at all look Jewish and almost no one from my part of the world is Jewish. The Rabbi approached me after a month and I told him 'I saw free food in a house of God and just figured since I am not a bad guy, God wouldn’t be too mad.'"
"Rabbi laughed and said something like 'From now on say hello. You don’t have to act like a thief trying not to get caught.' In a few months when money was less tight, I would stop by at lunch and chat with the Rabbi. It was a simpler time."
Itchy-Picture-4282
Scratch Away
"Brokest and stupidest thing I did. I bought scratch tickets in hopes to win money to buy Christmas presents when I was 18. I didn’t want anyone to think I had money problems at the time so I spent $10 on a scratcher and won $500. I don’t know how but it was enough for car insurance and presents."
FalseWeeknd
Yummies
Costco GIF by hero0fwarGiphy"Walked into a Costco with an expired membership card and had samples for dinner. I made the rounds a few times."
TheTyGoss
I do love a good, free trip around Costco.
Who doesn't love a good free sample buffet?
Eat Up
ramen noodles GIFGiphy"Bought a case of ramen noodles at the self-checkout at Walmart with 4 different debit cards that each had less than a dollar on them. You can make partial payments at Walmart self-checkout and nobody has to know how broke you are. Me and my 3 kids ate for the next 2 days."
-JunkyardDog
Grapefruit Pepper Chicken
"I had a small boneless, skinless chicken breast and a shriveled grapefruit in the fridge and only ground pepper in the pepper shaker, I had even run out of salt. That was all the food I had in the apartment. The grapefruit pepper chicken I made for dinner was disgusting but I ate half and saved half for dinner the next night."
"Driving home from work the next night I got 2 flats in my car tires and had to abandon my car on the side of the road. I had to leave it there until the weekend, I was lucky not to get towed or ticketed. I walked the two miles home, and then walked to and from work the rest of the week so embarrassed and afraid some coworker would see me coming or going without a car."
"I was able to borrow some money and added it to my paycheck to get my tires repaired. That was the poorest I have ever been in my life. I moved back in with my parents the next month."
DadsRGR8
Side of the Road
"Refused transport to the hospital, or any medical care at all, after I was hit by a car. I had been riding my bike home from work and going to the hospital would have meant leaving my only transportation on the side of the road. I didn’t carry a lock because I only rode my bike to work and had secure indoor storage for it at home and work."
Imaginary_Train_8056
Clean It Out
"I had $10 for food for 2 weeks so I got things to make a large pot of veggie soup (lentils, broth, canned veggies) and a large tub of plain oatmeal and ate vegan (not on purpose) for three weeks till it was gone. I've been told that rich people call this a 'cleanse' diet now."
Cantankerous_Won
See the Light
On My Way Goodbye GIF by Bubble PunkGiphy"My motorcycle headlight broke, so I started riding around with a flashlight in my mouth. True story. I was young and very, very dumb."
TedW
Anything for Food
"Sold my plasma for grocery money."
skidmarkzzz
"Ok, but that plasma kept my mom alive long enough to know she was going to have a granddaughter before she died from blood cancer. I’ll always be thankful for plasma givers ❤️."
bernelux
The things we have to do when our pockets are empty.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Princess Margaret might have grown up in the shadow of her older sister Queen Elizabeth II, but she didn’t stay that way. By the time she was a teenager, the young, beautiful, and fashionable princess was the talk of the town…and not for the right reasons. From her scandalous bedroom tastes to her tragic end, Margaret’s life was far from a fairy tale.
1. Her Birth Was Surprising
Princess Margaret was born on August 21st, 1930 in Glamis Castle in Scotland. But her beginning wasn't what many people think. See, little Margaret wasn’t actually directly in line for the crown. Her father was a younger son of the King of England, and no one in the family expected to make it to the throne. Well, that all changed—and quickly.
2. She Became Bona Fide Royal Through Scandal
File:King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia ...commons.wikimedia.orgWhen Margaret was just five years old, her family had a transformation of fortunes. Her uncle became King Edward VIII, but then infamously abdicated in order to marry his love, Wallis Simpson. Suddenly, Margaret’s father was King George VI, and she was second in line to the throne after her older sister Elizabeth. Still, it might have been the worst thing to ever happen to her.
3. Her Mother Controlled Her
Margaret’s upbringing is probably surprising to a lot of people. Although she was a royal and had access to the best teachings money could buy, her mother decided that her daughters would only receive a bare-bones education, since she aimed to make them simply “nicely behaved young ladies". Later on, this had disastrous consequences for Margaret.
4. She Had A Weapon Of Choice
File:Young Queen Elizabeth 1952.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAs a child, Margaret idolized her older sister Elizabeth, and, as we'll see, the two carried on a close relationship into their adulthood. Still, there was a hefty amount of sibling rivalry, too, and the girls often came to blows. According to their governess, while Elizabeth liked to throw punches, little Princess Margaret was much more of a biter.
5. Her Family Hid Her Away
While Margaret grew up in her gilded bubble, dark rumors started swirling. When she was a young girl, people saw so little of her that a persistent whisper claimed she was actually deaf and mute, and that her parents were hiding her from the public. Eventually, the family dispelled the rumors...but it didn’t take long for more to start, and these ones were all too true.
6. She Was A Spoiled Brat
File:King George VI LOC matpc.14736 (cleaned).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgGrowing up as second in line to the throne would turn anyone into a spoiled brat, but this went double for Princess Margaret. Her father King George loved his respectable elder daughter Elizabeth, but he absolutely doted on Margaret, claiming that while Elizabeth was his “pride,” Margaret was his “joy". And soon enough, Margaret's spoiled upbringing started to show.
7. Her Father Indulged Her
People around the British court started to notice just how much the King let Margaret get her way, even allowing the 13-year-old girl to stay up past her bedtime and attend lavish royal dinners. Many aides began to worry about the Princess, especially as she grew into a beautiful, vivacious, and very willful young woman...
8. She Was The Center Of Attention
File:Margaret prinses van Engel (Bestanddeelnr 092-1353).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgBy the time she was barely a teenager, Margaret could already walk into a room and light it up. One courtier commented that she was “full of character and very tart". Another noted her burgeoning good looks and how she was "very sure of herself and full of humor,” though also said she “might get into trouble before she’s finished". Well, that trouble started early.
9. Her Governess Tried To Ban Her
Surprise, surprise, Margaret's charm had a dark side. Her own governess, Marion Crawford, thought Margaret was an attention hog, especially when it came to taking the attention away from her more “important” sister Elizabeth. To try to curb the habit, Crawford actually once wrote to a friend, “Could you this year only ask Princess Elizabeth to your party?,” not wanting Margaret to come in and steal the thunder.
10. She Overshadowed Her Sister
File:Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret starring in wartime Aladdin ...commons.wikimedia.orgEven Princess Elizabeth admitted that Margaret could take the wind of her sails—it’s just that she didn’t mind it. Elizabeth, reserved and taciturn, actually liked that Margaret was so forceful, colorful, and irresistible. As she once said, “Oh, it's so much easier when Margaret's there—everybody laughs at what Margaret says". Too bad the sisters’ relationship didn’t stay so harmonious.
11. Her Mother Was A Spitfire
As WWII broke out, there was pressure for the royal family to relocate to Canada for their safety. Of course, this didn’t happen. Instead, they braved the danger with everyone else in England. In response to pressure, Margaret’s mother famously retorted, "The children won't go without me. I won't leave without the King. And the King will never leave". Wonder where Margaret got her stubbornness from.
12. She Resented Her Upbringing
File:GoreVidalVanVechten1.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgEven at this point, Margaret was chomping at the bit for some challenges in her life. After all, she'd spent WWII inside and away from harm, and by then she felt completely resentful of her mother’s limited education for her. As her acquaintance Gore Vidal later recalled, "She was far too intelligent for her station in life". Is it any wonder she rebelled?
13. She Had A Famous Feature
As Margaret entered her 20s, she was one of the most stunning women in the royal family. She famously had a slender 18-inch waist and “vivid blue eyes,” and her good looks and pedigree got her into the most exclusive circles and clubs in London. Before long, the press dubbed her and her fashionable group of aristocratic friends “The Margaret Set". Then again, they weren’t always just “friends”…
14. She Was A Party Girl
File:Princess Margaret in Cyprus, 1977.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWhile out on the town, Princess Margaret gained a reputation as “the world’s most eligible bachelor-girl” for the sheer number of men swooping in and out of her limo on late nights. Her little black book was a veritable who’s who of Britain’s gentry, from millionaire heir Billy Wallace to future Canadian Prime Minister John Turner. Yet as it turned out, Margaret only had eyes for one man.
15. She Nursed A Huge Crush
One constant presence in Margaret’s life was her royal aide, Group Captain Peter Townsend, a dashing war hero more than 15 years her senior. Townsend worked for Margaret’s parents and was their great favorite; many even said that King George treated Townsend like a long-lost son. Well, familiarity must breed romance, because Margaret was head over heels before she knew it.
16. Her Love Was Taboo
File:Princess Margaret and Sir Raynor Arthur.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgMargaret and Peter’s love story is now infamous, but few people know their scandalous beginnings. The palace first employed Peter when Margaret was just 13 years old, yet the teenager had her eye on the new arrival from the very start—even though he was already taken. When Margaret met him on his first day, she turned to Elizabeth and said, “Bad luck, he’s married". This only got worse.
17. She Flirted With Danger
Apparently, the vivacious Margaret wasn’t going let a little thing like holy matrimony—or their ridiculous age difference—get in the way of having her fun with Townsend. She flirted with him shamelessly, even once demanding he carry her up the stairs after a party, all in full view of her father King George VI. But harmless fun quickly turned into dangerous liaisons.
18. She Had An Exotic Romance
File:Peter Townsend (1914-1995).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1947, Margaret’s family finally let her come with them on a state visit abroad—her first ever—to South Africa. But they made a fatal error. Ironically, Peter Townsend was her “chaperone” for the visit, and they often went riding together. Margaret later admitted that she fell in love with Townsend on this trip. But as for Townsend? Well…
19. She Had An Unrequited Love
For all that Princess Margaret was determined to seduce Peter Townsend, he wasn’t exactly sold on the idea at the beginning. In fact, many sources report that he, like most of the palace courtiers, saw Margaret merely as an “indulged child". Accordingly, Townsend treated her very distantly and firmly, and they had a bit of a love/hate start…at first.
20. She Seduced A Man
File:Øvrevold. Peter Townsend - L0060 922Fo30141701170265.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgAccording to Townsend himself, there was one exact moment where he realized that he was deep in love with Margaret, too. He claimed it happened in 1951, while the entire family was out for a picnic together. Under King George’s watchful eye, Margaret woke Townsend up from a nap, and he suddenly couldn’t deny his feelings.
Even so, Townsend was still very much married, and it would take an absolute tragedy to bring them together.
21. She Suffered An Enormous Tragedy
In the early 1950s, King George’s health started failing, thanks in part to his rampant smoking habit. Margaret’s father went under the knife for lung cancer, but surgery didn’t make things any better. On February 6, 1952, the monarch passed, making Margaret’s sister Queen Elizabeth II—and throwing the princess into a total tailspin.
22. She Fell Into A Crisis
File:King George VI and Princess Elizabeth.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgPrincess Margaret was incredibly close with her father, and his passing crushed her. She called him, “such a wonderful person, the very heart and center of our happy family". With that center gone, Margaret suffered from bouts of ill health and had trouble sleeping, even seeking out a sedative prescription to help numb her pain. And there was more upheaval to come.
23. She Got Her Deepest Wish
1952 was already shaping up to be a stressful year for Princess Margaret, but then Peter Townsend had to throw her another curveball. The palace aide went and divorced his wife, suddenly making him a free agent and fair game at last. I’d say Margaret made the rational decision and took it slow…but when has this girl made rational decisions?
24. She Had A Secret Rendezvous Spot
File:INF3-75 pt1 HRH Princess Margaret.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThrown together by their grief and the respective total messes of their personal lives, Townsend and Princess Margaret soon began seeing each other in secret. Margaret had private apartments in the already secluded Clarence House, and the pair made good use of their alone time, visiting regularly on the down-low. Then, the inevitable crisis hit.
25. She Got An Indecent Proposal
As it turns out, people who are trauma-bonded go fast and hard in love, and Townsend proposed marriage to Margaret in April 1953, just over a year after her father’s passing. Margaret, who had been a love-sick girl for Peter right from the get-go, gave him an ecstatic yes in response. Except there was just one more enormous problem…
26. Her First True Romance Was A Disaster
File:Øvrevold. Peter Townsend - L0060 922Fo30141701170161.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgAs a divorced man, Townsend’s betrothal to Margaret presented a catastrophe for the monarchy. After all, the government and the Church of England had just denied Margaret’s uncle Edward VIII his marriage to Wallis Simpson for much the same reasons. Plus, since she was only 23 years old, Margaret also had to ask her sister for permission to marry anyone at all. It, uh, did not go well.
27. Her Sister Forced Her To Keep A Secret
When Princess Margaret informed her elder sister and sovereign of her steamy romance, Queen Elizabeth II definitely didn’t welcome it with open arms. Afraid of the stir it would cause at the beginning of her reign, Elizabeth insisted that Margaret wait for a year and keep the relationship a secret until after her coronation. Guys, this ALSO didn’t go well.
28. She Accidentally Revealed Everything
File:Princess Margaret 1965b (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgMargaret and Townsend tried their best to keep their love under wraps, although some foreign papers did get wind of a romance brewing. But on coronation day, chaos really broke loose. In a casual, thoughtless moment during the ceremony, Margaret fondly picked some lint off of Townsend’s coat—and the press went wild.
29. She Became A Lurid Tabloid Story
Suddenly, seemingly every newspaper in the United Kingdom started weighing in on Margaret’s princess-and-pauper relationship with the civilian Townsend. They did not mince words, either: Most publications were appalled at the idea, with The People even running the headline “They Must Deny It NOW". Still, that was just the beginning of the nightmare.
30. The Government Turned On Her
File:British Houses of Parliament.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWithin months, England had gone into full constitutional crisis mode. The parliament and the Church of England predictably criticized the match, insisting that Margaret denounce her royal privileges and allowance if she wanted to go through with the marriage. Yet within the inner circle of Buckingham Palace, things were even more tense.
31. Her Own Family Rejected Her Suitor
Margaret’s royal brood was totally torn over her girlhood romance. Elizabeth’s husband Prince Phillip detested the idea of Townsend becoming part of the family, and he let everyone know it. Meanwhile, Elizabeth herself just wanted her sister to be happy, yet felt bound to tradition and couldn’t say yes to the union. Instead, they came up with a desperate plan.
32. She Came Up With An Escape Plot
File:Queen Elizabeth in Aden 1954.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgTo buy Margaret more time, Elizabeth begged her sister to wait another couple of years, until she turned 25. At this time, she would no longer need to ask the monarch for permission to marry. If her infatuation with Townsend lasted, she could wed him then, all while Elizabeth avoided a crisis. It was supposed to be the perfect solution...in reality, it was a complete disaster.
33. She Had Multiple Flings
For one, Margaret and Townsend had to separate during this time, and many courtiers hoped that absence would make their hearts grow weaker. For a hot minute, it looked like they were right: While Townsend studiously avoided spending time with women, Margaret gallivanted around town with a series of men on her opera-gloved arm. But the lovers were hiding yet another secret.
34. She Had A Side Piece
File:Clarence house.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDuring the entire time that they were supposed to be apart, Townsend was still secretly meeting with Princess Margaret. He would travel in from the continent for nights and weekends at their old love nest at Clarence House, or else stay with friends if he wanted to look super incognito. And then the long-awaited day came…
35. Her Birthday Was The Talk Of The Town
On August 21st, 1955, Princess Margaret turned 25—and everyone in Britain noticed. Hundreds of reporters swarmed Balmoral Castle, thirsting for any drop of news, and newspapers set up “ring watches” for Margaret’s hands. As one publication put it, "Nothing much else than Princess Margaret's affairs is being talked of in this country". But they’d have to wait for the next development.
36. She Had A Public Courtship
File:Prinses Margaret , Lord Snowdon en Prins Bernhard in de ...commons.wikimedia.orgMonths later on October 12th, 1955, Peter Townsend returned back to England, this time as Margaret’s official suitor. For the next weeks, the princess and the Group Captain courted each other at various dinners around town, all while the entire nation held their breath to see what Margaret would do. In the end, it was nothing but a tragic disappointment.
37. She Made A Shocking Announcement
After weeks of speculation, no betrothal had yet materialized—and that's when Margaret dropped an absolute bombshell. On October 31st, she released an official statement declaring “I have decided not to marry Group Captain Peter Townsend". After such a whirlwind romance, the populace was flabbergasted and at a loss for her reasons…but we now have an idea what they were.
38. Her Sister Gave Her A Heart-Warming Gift
File:Queen Elizabeth II - 1953-Dress.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgOne of the biggest urban legends around Margaret’s split from Townsend is that Queen Elizabeth II is to blame for their breakup. Nothing could be further from the truth. Official documents reveal she was working tirelessly to change certain policies to make it easier for her sister to marry. Instead, the main culprit was something much more heartbreaking.
39. There Was One Thing She Wouldn’t Give Up
Although some aspects of the scandal remain a mystery, one of them is very clear: Margaret didn’t think she could live as a civilian. One way or another, marrying Townsend would mean giving up her royal allowance, and they simply couldn’t live on the money he took in. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like heck—and Margaret’s next actions didn’t help matters.
40. She Rebounded Hard
File:Princess Margaret.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgMany people believed that Margaret would never marry after losing Townsend—after all, she had waited so long that most of her eligible male acquaintances were now married. That’s not what happened. Soon after disentangling herself, Margaret took up with her old friend Billy Wallace, even accepting his proposal of marriage. Sadly, it too ended it heartbreak.
41. She Got Her Heart Broken Again
Wallace wasn’t exactly the best rebound for poor Princess Margaret. First, he called her relationship with Townsend “girlish nonsense that got out of hand,” which definitely smacks of insecurity to me. Even worse, he cheated on the princess while on a trip to the Bahamas. Thankfully, Margaret broke things off when she found out, but it was out of the frying pan and into the fire…
42. She Fell In Love With A Rebel
File:Antony Armstrong-Jones 1965b.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1958, Margaret met bohemian photographer and man about town Antony Armstrong-Jones at a dinner party. On the surface, he represented everything she was looking for in a man: Dashing, daring, and bound to anger the establishment. They fell into a hot, heavy, and above all secret romance. Then, like everything Margaret did, it moved fast—too fast.
43. She Had A Quick Engagement
In October 1959, Armstrong-Jones got down on one knee and proposed to Princess Margaret with a stunner of a ruby engagement ring, surrounded by diamonds and shaped into a rosebud. For the third time in her life (that we know of anyway), Margaret said yes to her suitor. But there was a chilling reason behind her answer.
44. She Got Back At Her Ex
As it turned out, Margaret couldn’t quite forget about her first love Peter Townsend. She actually accepted Armstrong-Jones’s proposal the day after finding out that Townsend was planning to marry a beautiful Belgian woman named Marie-Luce Jamagne. It was a desperate revenge on Margaret’s part...and it gets even more twisted than that.
45. Her First Love Was Creepy
The thing is, Townsend probably wasn’t over Princess Margaret either. Eerily enough, Marie-Luce was the spitting image of the young royal, down to her long oval face, dark hair, and captivating eyes. Still, Margaret and Peter now seemed done forever (hint: they might not have been). It was enough to make any woman rush into a totally doomed wedding.
46. She Had A Fairy Tale Wedding
File:Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip host Queen's Dinner for ...commons.wikimedia.orgOn May 6th, 1960, Princess Margaret finally walked down the aisle, tying the knot with Armstrong-Jones in a lavish ceremony at Westminster Abbey. True to her fashion-plate reputation, Margaret wore a Norman Hartnell dress with the stunning, gigantic Poltimore tiara. Yet for all that the procession looked good, there was something missing…
47. The World Snubbed Her
If you looked closely at Margaret’s wedding ceremony, you might have noticed a disturbing absence: Almost no foreign royals attended. They refused to accept Margaret’s marriage to a common photographer, and only Queen Ingrid of Denmark was a noble guest Margaret wasn’t directly related to. If you're wondering, this was definitely a bad omen.
48. She Got A Bizarre Present
On the surface, the beginnings of Princess Margaret’s marriage were wedded bliss. Her possible ex-lover Colin Tennant even gave the new couple a plot of land on his private Caribbean island, Mustique, and it soon became one of Margaret's favorite getaway spots. For the record, I also accept tokens from my exes in the form of tropical land grants.
49. Her Life Looked Perfect
For a brief moment, the public good times kept on rolling for the couple. Although Armstrong-Jones fought privately against getting a title, the newlyweds soon became the respectable-sounding Countess and Earl of Snowdon. By 1964, they also had two children, David and Sarah, together. But behind the scenes, it was falling apart.
50. Her Husband Betrayed Her
File:Anthony Lord Snowdon.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn truth, the Snowdons had massive, reality TV levels of dysfunction. Antony, who was openly bi, had no qualms about going after nearly every bedroom prospect that came his way; as one friend put it, “If it moves, he'll have it". Before the ink was dry on Margaret's marriage certificate, Antony had had more than a few late night sleepovers.
51. Her Husband Abandoned Her
On top of all that, their marriage was a total mismatch of personalities and goals when it came to relationships. Armstrong-Jones was a workaholic, and Margaret often complained that he was never around and that she was constantly lonely. But don’t go thinking the princess was totally blameless…because she certainly wasn’t.
52. She Had A Huge Addiction
If Armstrong-Jones was a workaholic, Princess Margaret was hiding a much darker addiction. She'd always been a partier and had even dabbled in hard substances, but good old alcohol was her dangerous drug of choice. So when her husband was off working, Margaret was often hitting the bottle. Oh, and there was that other thing…
53. She Slept With Famous People
File:Mick Jagger (1982).jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgAlthough Armstrong-Jones had a steady stream of male lovers and mistresses behind Margaret’s back, she didn’t have a leg to stand on. In the 1960s, she embarked on a string of extramarital affairs of her own, and there are rumors she even fell into the beds of celebrities like Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty. But, as it happens, Margaret’s very first indiscretion was one of her worst.
54. She Did Her Daughter Dirty
When the princess first dipped her toe into infidelity in 1966, she went big and went home with none other than her own daughter’s godfather, the vintner Anthony Barton. I mean, this doesn’t seem particularly smart on her part, but I guess there’s no accounting for taste. Even so, Margaret had a more notorious affair up her sleeve.
55. The Public Caught Her In A Lie
In 1967, Margaret engaged in a brief affair with Robin Douglas-Home, a nephew of a former British Prime Minister. However, she later denied everything and insisted their relationship was platonic. Until, that is, she was caught red-handed. Her love letters to him came out, spilling the beans—and her lies—to the world. And somehow, it got messier.
56. She Was A Black Widow
In the end, Princess Margaret had a good reason to deny the fling, given the tragic way it all turned out. Robin Douglas-Home never really recovered from their breakup, and Margaret’s denials probably did nothing to comfort him. Then, just 18 months after their romance fell apart, he fell into a deep depression and took his own life.
57. She Could Be Heartless
File:Prinses Margaret en Lord Snowdon Anglo Nederlandse ...commons.wikimedia.orgAround this time, Margaret's famous wit took on a very mean streak, reflecting her own bitter personal life. Once while she was at a fashionable party in New York, a fellow guest asked the princess how the Queen was doing. Margaret's reply was legendarily cruel. She sniped, “Which one? My sister, my mother, or my husband?” And her claws only sharpened as time went on.
58. She Had A Biting Wit
It now didn't take much for Princess Margaret's serene facade to crack, even in public. One time at an event, she sat next to the supermodel Twiggy. For two hours, the princess flat-out refused to speak to her companion, but eventually turned to her and asked who she was. “I’m Lesley Hornby, ma’am, but people call me Twiggy,” Twiggy said. Margaret's only response? "How unfortunate".
59. Her Husband Wrote Her Hate Mail
By the late 1960s, Princess Margaret’s marriage to Armstrong-Jones had turned into a tragedy. And one day, her husband went way too far. The Earl of Snowdon started putting little notes around the house and in books for Margaret to find, but they weren’t love letters—oh, no. Instead, they said horrific things like “You look like a Jewish manicurist and I hate you". Dear GOD.
60. Her Family Dealt Her A Cruel Blow
Despite Armstrong-Jones’s obvious mistreatment of the Princess, Margaret had very little in the way of a support system. Sadly, her stiff-upper-lip family often took her husband’s side in their squabbles, thinking that it was just Margaret being dramatic again. The tension and anxiety got so bad, even Margaret's psyche started changing...
61. She Had Terrible Nightmares
a black and white photo of a woman wearing a tiaraPhoto by Museums of History New South Wales on UnsplashAccording to Margaret herself, she often suffered horrific and recurring nightmares. The subject of these nightmares? Her own sister Queen Elizabeth II. In these dreams, the younger princess would imagine disappointing her sibling again and again. It’s no surprise, then, that Margaret's personal life eventually hit an infamous breaking point.
62. She Had A Boy Toy
Desperately lonely and almost entirely estranged from her husband, Princess Margaret started what she called a “loving friendship” with a man named Roddy Llewellyn, a landscape gardener 17 years younger than her. She even invited him for several visits to her private island of Mustique…and that’s maybe where it became less “friendship,” more “loving”…
63. She Tried To Kill Herself
Honestly, I don’t begrudge Princess Margaret getting her groove back—but her relationship with Roddy quickly turned dangerous. She grew so dependent on him that one day when he left on a spontaneous trip to Turkey, she became despondent and overdosed on sleeping pills to shut out the world. And the real scandal was yet to come.
64. There’s One Infamous Photo Of Her
In the winter of 1976, a notorious photograph hit the British tabloids. The snap showed Princess Margaret and her supposed boy-toy Roddy Llewellyn sunning themselves on the beach in Mustique, clad only in their swimsuits. Politicians immediately and cruelly denounced Margaret as a “floosie” and a “royal parasite,” but the photo’s real damage was to her marriage.
65. She Had A Scandalous Divorce
Guards British Images | Free Photos, PNG Stickers, Wallpapers ...www.rawpixel.comAfter the tabloids hung Margaret’s dirty laundry all over their front pages, the British public could see just what a downward turn her “fairy tale” marriage had taken. With the jig up, Margaret and Antony finally sought a separation (and thank goodness for that), officially divorcing in 1978. However, Margaret’s tragedies were far from over.
66. She Lost Her Beauty
The moment Margaret finally got rid of Armstrong-Jones, the bloom of her beauty seemed to die on the vine. She was in her late 40s, single again, and the weight of the world was back on her shoulders. After seeing her briefly at a party, photographer Cecil Beaton recalled that, her “eyes seem to have lost their vigor, her complexion is now a dirty negligée pink satin". Yet his reaction got harsher.
67. Karma Came For Her
Margaret's acerbic wit had won her many enemies, and Beaton was apparently one of them. He not only compared Margaret unfavorably to Queen Victoria on this occasion, he all but gloried in the loss of her youth. As Beaton continued, “She was not very nice in the days when she was so pretty and attractive...But, my God, has she been paid out!”
68. She Was A "Burlesque" Of Her Sister
By the end of her life, many thought that Princess Margaret became a parody of herself. The caliber of her lovers plummeted, and her crudeness only grew with her disturbing drinking habits. Even the most casual monarchists felt she disgraced her family name, and people started characterizing her as a “nightclub burlesque of her sister". Wow.
69. She Loved Dirty Party Tricks
Another one of Margaret’s more scandalous alleged lovers at this time includes the gangster John Bindon. Shockingly, Bindon claimed they embarked on an affair after he awed the princess with a lewd but admittedly impressive party trick—balancing five half-pint glasses upon a part of his body that, uh, I won’t name here. Look, use your imagination.
70. She Was A Snob
File:Prinses Margaret aan de lunchtafel in het Amstel Hotel ...commons.wikimedia.orgAlthough Margaret maintained a kind of young, care-free, and fashionable image to the public, many said that her real personality was much different—and much darker. She could be incredibly snobby when she wanted to be, and some even claimed she looked down on her own grandmother because she was a lower-rank princess.
71. She Had A Scandalous Daily Routine
Margaret's daily routine as an adult was just as spoiled as it was when she was a little princess, only with darker twists added in. When she was in her mid-20s, she often insisted on having her breakfast in bed. After that, she would get into freshly laundered clothes; she only wore an outfit once before washing it. Then, she'd wander downstairs for a mid-morning "vodka pick-me-up". Natch.
72. She May Have Been Involved In A Robbery
In 1971, the infamous “Baker Street Robbery” of Lloyds Bank occurred, where a gang tunnelled through the building and emptied hundreds of safety deposit boxes. But there may be more to the story. According to some conspiracies, the burglary was actually a cover-up to retrieve some “compromising” photos of Margaret. In some versions, MI5 hatched the whole plot to protect the Princess’s honor.
73. Her Friends Dropped Her
Perhaps the greatest sadness at the end of Princess Margaret's time was how all her fair-weather friends left her one by one. Still, she also pushed them away: The diarist Sir Roy Strong wrote that Margaret became “tiresome, spoilt, idle and irritating" during her later years and he complained that, “She has no direction, no overriding interest. All she likes is young men". Honestly though, same.
74. Her Body Started To Fail Her
Eventually, Margaret's lifestyle caught up with her. In addition to her other unsavory habits, the princess was also a near lifelong smoker, having started when she was just 15 years old at the latest. By the 1980s, she needed to have doctors remove her left lung, a procedure that eerily recalled her father’s demise. Sadly, her own end was near.
75. She Had A Steep Decline
File:Lockenfrisur1947.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn the 1990s, the Princess began to go downhill fast. She suffered a series of strokes, and also scalded her feet in a bathroom mishap, leaving her bedridden or wheelchair bound for months on end. By 2001, she was partially paralyzed and even had difficulty swallowing. Although the Windsors are famously long-lived, the once-vibrant Princess Margaret wasn’t going to make it long.
76. She Had A Direct Line To Her Sister
Despite shows like The Crown playing up the rifts between Queen Elizabeth and Princess Margaret, and despite the incredible hardships the two royals went through, they remained close. At one point, Margaret even installed a direct line from her home in Kensington Palace to Elizabeth's quarters in Buckingham Palace so they could always stay in touch.
77. She Was Much Different In Private
Princess Margaret could be bright, witty, and informal, but she also had her "average" moments too. As her governess once recalled, "Impulsive and bright remarks she made became headlines and, taken out of their context, began to produce in the public eye an oddly distorted personality that bore little resemblance to the Margaret we knew".
78. She Had A Cute Nickname
She might be “Princess Margaret” to us, but the royal family was very close-knit at the time, and all gave each other nicknames. While they called Elizabeth “Lilibet,” they most often called Margaret “Margot".
79. Her Name Might Have Been Different
Although her family nicknamed her "Margot," her birth name was almost completely different. Margaret's mother actually first wanted to name her "Ann," and she was "very anxious" to get her way. Except, well, she didn't. Her husband King George didn't share his wife's love of the name, and vetoed it completely. Thanks a lot, patriarchy.
80. She Met An Eerie End
File:St George's Chapel from the Altar, Windsor Castle, from ...commons.wikimedia.orgOn February 9, 2002, Princess Margaret passed in King Edward VII’s hospital at the age of 71, after her long and difficult battle with multiple illnesses. The day holds an eerie meaning. Following a decline that looked much like her father’s, Margaret also passed just three days after the 50th anniversary of King George VI’s own death.
81. She Stooped To New Lows
As Margaret's addictions to cheap drinks and sleazy men deepened, she developed some seriously tragic habits. According to one rumor, she got so used to smoking and drinking constantly that she simply glued matchboxes to her tumbler glasses to make for easier access to both vices. Is this dignified? Heck no. Is it genius? Yes.
82. She Just Couldn’t Quit Her First Love
Late into Princess Margaret’s life, people still wondered if she continued to carry a torch for her dashing Group Captain Peter Townsend after all these years. Few people know the real story. Even after their official announcement and split, the pair saw each other on and off, though they swore it was only in a friendly capacity. But there’s more…
83. Her Letters May Reveal The Truth
Although the Princess and her captain maintained they were only platonic in the decades after their romance, Margaret also made one final visit to Townsend in 1992, just a few years before his death, showing that they still kept tabs on one another. In reality, we may not know the full truth until much later. Their palace will release their love letters 100 years after Margaret’s birth, in 2030.
84. Her Husband Gave Her One Final Insult
Even in death, Princess Margaret couldn’t escape the horror show that was her marriage with Antony Armstrong-Jones. In 2004, a vicious report came out claiming that just three weeks into his marriage with Margaret, Armstrong-Jones fathered an illegitimate daughter with a mistress he had been seeing during his royal engagement. Oh, and it doesn’t end there.
85. Her Ex Told A Huge Lie
a close up of a double strand of gold glitterPhoto by ANIRUDH on UnsplashAt first, Armstrong-Jones vehemently denied paternity, despite the fact that the girl, Polly Fry, claimed she had done a DNA test and that he was most certainly the father. Yet four years later, he finally admitted that the story was true. Seriously, only Antony Armstrong-Jones could do Princess Margaret so wrong even after she died.
While not all relationships will last, that does not necessarily mean that every relationship that ends was a bad one.
Sometimes we walk away with some lovely memories of our ex-partners, and even mementos and gifts we'd rather keep than burn.
Redditor ChronicallyCautious2 asked:
"What is something an ex gave you that you still have?"
A Grand Piano
"A f**king 800-pound piano and I don't play and it's in the way."
"Does anyone want a free piano?"
- Zongohhhh
Love for a Teddy Bear
"She sewed a sweater for my childhood teddy bear, because the one he originally had was lost in the laundry."
"There is no way I would ever get rid of that."
- Helferlein_
A Comfy Bed
"A pillow case she quilted for me. That was 40 years ago and I still have it."
- GreedyNovel
Kids and Guitars
"A 1976 Black Ibanez Les Paul Custom Copy and a kid."
- BeatnikConspiracy
"Which do you love more?"
"Just kidding. I would never make you choose... but I notice you wrote the guitar first."
- persondude27
A Quality Coach Wallet
"I still have a great wallet from... 14 years ago... that my ex gave me. Probably the only thoughtful thing she ever did."
- LargeSnorlax
The Best Gift of All
"My ex wife was a big part of me getting off drugs and alcohol, so to me she gave me sobriety."
- Tawebuse
A Lovely Pick-Me-Up
"This birthday card... It was just very sweet and well written. We broke up on great terms but I read that card when I’m down."
- chenganvegan
"I just found an old birthday card from an ex in an old pile of papers last night. You can feel how true those words were meant at the time. Such weird sensation of melancholy appreciation."
- cripplinglivershot
Love on Paper
"Amazing love letters. She was a beautiful writer (and person!) I haven’t looked at them in a long time but I like that I have them as proof that I could be loved like that."
- aebersold
A Promise Necklace
"In 1972, a boy gave me a Saint Christopher necklace. I did not know it at the time but later found out that it meant we are going steady."
"We were a couple for a few months until he tried to kiss me, and I got scared and broke up with him. I tried giving him the necklace back but he insisted I keep it."
"I still have it, it's traveled all over with me, and it's kept me safe."
- Granny_knows_best
An Old Friend
"A stuffed animal. Only because I can't find it in me AT ALL to throw away a stuffed animal. It has feelings!"
- Odd-Faithlessness705
An Unplayable Guitar
"A beautiful guitar I never learned to play."
"I gave it to my son and he's keeping the tradition alive. By not learning either."
- never_mind_never
School Smarts
"Weirdly enough, academic confidence. She's the one that pushed me to go back to college after I dropped out, and now that I think about it, that might have been one of the last conversations we had."
"The short version of the story is of her telling me to stop f**king around and apply myself because she knew I was intelligent enough but I was lazy. I've graduated twice since then."
- awkwardlyexists
The Embodiment of a Red Flag
"The knowledge of what red flags look like."
- Sodomy_Steve
PTSD
"It kills me, to be honest. I didn’t know betrayals could hurt so much."
"I have other issues from my parents, but the betrayals, abuses, and infidelities from my ex-husband have destroyed so much in me. Because when we married, wasn’t that a promise he wouldn’t be that person? I couldn’t pick my parents. But I chose my husband."
- punkyfish10
A Beautiful Dress
"The dress she was wearing when I met her."
"We dated for three years, and when we broke up, I was heartbroken further to see that, in the bag of clothes she was gonna donate, was that dress. She looked radiant in it that day, and I wasn't entirely ready to let go."
"Unbeknownst to her, I took the dress from the bag and hid it away as a memento. We stopped talking for three years. There were instances in the early stages of grief where I would look at it and cry, but I wanted to remember her for the good times we shared together."
"Fast forward to a couple of years ago, and she reaches out to apologize. By then, I was obviously long over her. It was a clean and honest breakup, so I told her there was nothing to apologize for."
"We hung out at my place one day, and somewhere in a conversation about our past relationship, I pull out the dress to reveal to her that I kept it. The look of surprise on her face, man... and she almost began crying as she hugged me."
"Later that day, she told me that she told her cousin about how I kept the dress. This particular cousin didn't like me, so when my ex said she 'awwwed' at it and said that I was a sweet guy, that felt nice. She (my ex) and I hang out and send each other memes every now and then."
"I love this girl to death (platonically!), and would fight tooth and nail for her safety and well-being. She deserves to live a good life."
"Cheers to the folks who ended things on good terms. And an extra beer to those who couldn't."
- therealJoerangutang
When people think of ended relationships, they'll more than likely think of messy endings and broken hearts. But this group proved, more often than not, that good can come out, even at the end of a relationship.
Whether or not we want to admit it, we'd like to believe in love lasting forever and happily-ever-afters.
But some couples are not destined to last forever.
And perhaps not surprisingly, there are some tell-tale signs that a couple is doomed to fail.
Redditor ADTID asked:
"What screams 'we are not going to last long' for couples?"
An Accidental... Engagement?
"A recent personal experience I witnessed."
"The entire immediate family of one side of a wedding said it was a bad idea and less than a month into the marriage one of them stayed at their mom's house for the night because they were fighting."
"Also, they got engaged as a result of a failed breakup attempt..."
- UNCLETROUBLE24
"I had a friend that did this. He kept dumping her and the last time, she just told him she had enough."
"The next day, he came back, begging for her and swearing that he loved her more than anything in the world."
"And she told him to prove it."
"So he proposed. She didn't know what to do, so she said yes and it went downhill from there."
- minilibrarian
An Incompatible Future
"If they have strongly conflicted plans for their future. Either means they'll break up eventually or one or both of them will end up in an unhappy compromise."
- slinkocat
"Do not get married if one of you wants kids and the other doesn't. It is a whole mess."
"I have an aunt and uncle who I love dearly. He wanted kids badly and she did not. They almost divorced over it, but eventually worked through it. Traveled the world, had beautiful properties, the whole nine yards."
"Now she is in her 60s, and every time she drinks, she talks about how she should have had kids, and my uncle gets this look on his face that is difficult to describe, but it's not good."
- sanslumiere
On Again, Off Again
"Breaking up every few minutes and then back together again."
- Substantial_Pen_4445
"Especially in the first couple of months."
- SlapHappyDude
Obviously Controlling
"When the dynamic is super obvious to outsiders early on, that’s a bad sign."
"Whatever is happening on the outside is always worse on the inside."
"I know a couple where the woman will just berate her man publicly. She’ll talk to him like he’s an actual child. She tells him how much he’s allowed to do certain things, but twists it so it doesn’t look as bad. It’s as if she genuinely thinks he’s mentally disabled or something, except she only does it when she’s being controlling."
"For example, she hates when he plays video games. She thinks it’s immature and a waste of time that could be spent hanging out with her or being productive. She thinks it’s embarrassing that he plays video games."
"So he has to sneak around to play video games at other people's houses so that he can play it off as if it’s the other person's fault that he was playing. Like, 'Oh, Mike wanted to play, and I just couldn’t say no at his house.'"
"Now, I have seen this couple having a semi-private fight. They’re very loud and literally go one room away from their guests to have fights."
"This woman will berate the way he talks during fights and literally mock him to his face in a baby voice like, 'Nanana, I’m a grown man and I still play video games,' instead of actually making real commentary on the argument. This breaks his spirit and he ends up just exhausting during the fight and succumbing to whatever she wants. And the things she wants are super inconsistent, so he can’t win there, either."
"The public thinks she doesn’t like video games and looks down on him for it. But privately she’s completely broken this guy's spirit and he can’t escape the cycle due to constant emotional exhaustion."
"And that’s not even TRUE privacy. That’s when I’m in another room. God only knows how bad it is when they’re completely alone together. I hear some of it because this guy has come to my house when she kicks him out for the night, and he vents to me (while we play hours of video games of course, lol (laughing out loud))."
"This is shockingly common. I know, like, eight people who have at one point been in a relationship like this. Whatever abusive behavior is seen publicly is always ALWAYS worse behind closed doors."
"I’ve told him blatantly that he should leave her."
"He always says things along the lines of, 'You’re right,' but then ends up back with her within a few days."
"They’ve been together for so long, I think it’s a sunk-cost situation for him."
"I am doing everything I can by being a place he can crash for the night and voicing my opinions. We’ve tried to talk to the woman before, too, but that ends up just making the guy’s life harder."
"Anyone who’s reading this and thinks it sounds familiar, if one or two friends say your SO (significant other) sucks, maybe it’s a fluke. If ALL your friends say they suck, or they think you might be in an abusive relationship, consider how you can’t see it as clearly through your rose-tinted glasses."
- MomLuvsDreamAnalysis
The Fatal Attempts to Fix
"When one person wants to 'fix' the other. If your relationship is a repair project, you didn't fall in love with who they are. You fell in love with what you want them to be."
- jiff1912
Walking on Eggshells
"'Walking on eggshells’ around your partner in terms of what you can and can’t say. if you feel you can’t disagree with your partner and/or voice your opinion without it turning into an argument."
- shelby75R
"That can be 'not going to last' or 'lasts several years too long.'"
- VanFailin
An Audience for Their Arguments
"The way they speak to each other when they’re not alone."
"I noticed this after my divorce and I started dating again, because you speak to these new people with a lot of respect and kindness. Then we’d get around married couples and they’d say awful things to each other in nasty snappy tones, and it was jarring."
"Fast forward ten years and all those couples I noticed doing that are divorced now."
- SnoBunny1982
"When both make the atmosphere so uncomfortable when you are in their house."
- Big-Nerve-9574
Wedding Day Etiquette
"When he smashes her face in the cake at the wedding and she hates it."
- A_wild_Mel_appears
"I did the manly thing and asked my wife. She said no, she was spending hours doing makeup and didn’t want to ruin it. So instead I gave her a tiny forkful to eat and it was great."
- MoobyTheGoldenSock
Very Public Relationships
"My cousin emptied out her bank account, her ex-husband's bank account, and borrowed from their relatives to fund a $25k wedding."
"They broke up about a year later. They were together for over 10 years before this."
"They also posted pictures the morning after while in bed still... It was just another sign they’re insecure about their relationship, over posting about how great it is all the time."
- StainedBrain1997
"A childhood friend posts five or six photos of her and her husband every day. The lighting is always magazine perfect, there is good composition and depth of field. It must take an hour of every day."
"I just want to be like, 'Girl, are you okay?'"
- PreferredSelection
Lack of Communication
"Lack of communication."
"Discussing every disagreement means screaming over each other, exploding, shutting off communications, and/or running out of the room."
"So they won't be able to resolve anything in a constructive manner."
- Bebe_Bleau
Arguing Too Much, or Too Little
"If all disagreements end in arguments."
"My partner and I disagree about a lot of stuff. But we can talk, discuss, and even sometimes agree with the other person's side."
"It'd be weird if you saw eye to eye on 100% of stuff too."
- jayhitter
Open Marriage Solutions
"When they think opening their marriage will fix their problems."
- randomname196
"My wife and I had two different pairs of married friends who brought in 'a third' to spice up their marriage. We now have four separate friends who we can't hang out with together."
- DigitalZiggurat
Apathetic Reactions
"I was at a party one time, and there was a marriage counselor there that had been working for 20-something years in couples counseling."
"I asked her what the number one sign was that the couple wasn't going to make it."
"Without hesitating, she said, 'If one person shows contempt for the other's feelings, it's over!'"
- Marauder
"This is the answer, well, one of them. John Gottman calls contempt, defensiveness, being critical, and stonewalling the 'Four Horsemen of Relationships.'"
"In other words, they are the signs that things are deeply not okay between the two people involved."
"Looking at past relationships, contempt is the big one. Once that entered the picture from either side, it was all downhill from there."
- ifnotmewh0
Adding a Child to the Mix
"Having a kid to 'fix' their relationship."
- ThingsOfThatNaychah
"Being a kid with divorced parents is bad."
"But being a kid with parents that should be divorced but aren't is way worse."
- AvergeMortisEnjoyer
An Undeniable List
"In my experience:"
"1. Contempt / mockery."
"2. Lack of communication / respect / empathy for the other person."
"3. Glue babies."
"4. Having a wedding as opposed to making a marriage."
"With the exception of children, consistently and habitually prioritizing others over their SO (significant other)."
"Then there are the things that for me are default dealbreakers: any kind of abuse, cheating, financial dishonesty, violence, gaslighting. This criteria also applies to their treatment of my children where applicable."
- PugWitch
There are always going to be relationships that aren't going to work out, but there are some that are literally doomed to fail, and that latter group is pretty obviously on the path to ending to everyone outside of the relationship long before the actual couple is even aware of it.