A moral code like a compass. It's a guiding set of rules or principles that humans live by. They lead the way we move through the world and interact with the people around us.
Some believe that moral come from a divine energy that implants that code into our consciousness. Those morals have then been translated into text and passed down by religious authorities. Not following those sacred values could bring on serious consequences.
Others believe that the moral compass is innately within all of us and is biologically and culturally evolutionary. That voice telling you right from wrong has always lived within us.
David Ludden Ph.D. wrote that humans have been enacting a moral code long before we could even write down what it was:
"We also have an innate moral code: Do not kill, lie, steal, or poach another's mate."
"These injunctions weren't just handed down to us on stone tablets. Rather, they're inscribed in our DNA."
We wanted to know what is the number one moral or value on your list of moral codes.
Redditor MetanoiaBender asked:
"What is the #1 rule in your moral code?"
Here's a list of important life lessons.
Don't mess with people's livelihoods.
"Don't f*ck with a man's livelihood."
"I was a brand new manager and made a joke about firing someone and instead of laughing they looked scared and upset. A more senior manager saw that and took me aside - he said "if you have the power to hire and fire, it's not ever a joke. Don't f*ck with a man's livelihood.'"
"Never forgot it and it served me well."
"As an addendum, don't [send] sh*tty emails like 'Please see me in my office.'"
"Mandatory meeting Monday morning 9am, all staff must attend".
"We turn up expecting mass layoffs, got some OHS bullsh*t."
"However, expecting the worst, I had already sent my resume off to the company across the road. They hired me. Also 50% of staff sent off resumes because of this e-mail. Many got offers and left. So many key people left, the other staff were overworked and were soon over it. It cascaded to a mass exodus within about 6 weeks of the e-mail."
"Don't send sh*tty emails."
"After becoming a manager I made it a rule to explain unexpected meetings."
"'Hey I have an update on client [name]. Can we chat when you get a chance?'"
"Don't scare people."
"As a former retail manager, this one can get tricky. It's certainly preferable to approach hard conversations with the tactic you described whenever possible. That being said- when navigating the complex dynamic of a sales floor with multiple employees within earshot any implication of a meeting with a lower level associate will be seen by others as disciplinary. This causes gossip and strife between the people working under you."
"What I personally would do is find the employee I need to speak with, jovially approach them, and ask, 'Hey will you walk the sales floor with me for a second?' I would then take a roundabout way to my office while discussing friendly personal-life or hobby related topics or upcoming store events. Once out of earshot of others and the employee is at ease, inform them, 'Hey so we need to step into my office for a second and talk about this situation that happened.' If it's an employee with a different gender, bring in a manager who shares their gender. At this point they are generally receptive and appreciative of the way you approached them and respected their privacy. Even if the employee knows the conversation could end in termination of employment."
How to make friends.
"If you want to have friends, you must first be one."
"To be interesting you must also be interested."
"Do you mean interested in learning? If so, that's good advice. A lot of people just aren't curious enough, and their personality takes a toll."
"Learning about arts and history goes such a long way."
"Used to be so curious and interested in things but my job makes me learn so much so fast that outside of work idc to learn anything anymore unless it's beneficial to wife and kid."
"Thinking about it now, I need to change jobs when possible."
"I'm always super open with people and try to get them to be open with me but no one ever opens up as much as I do and I don't understand it."
"You might be considered an over-sharer. Your frankness with strangers might be seen as off-putting because it's not the norm. It happens and people ought to be aware."
"Slow down your opening up. If you open too fast and demand others to open just as fast, many people just shut down."
Always apologize if you've done something.
"Apologize if you know you've done wrong."
"Yooo this was a huge lesson my father taught us growing up. He really emphasized the strength it takes to apologize. More parents need to focus on this."
"Not only apologize but do better in the future."
"Yes, THIS. I see so many folks throwing out apologies so easily, yet do nothing to actually make amends to whatever it was they did wrong."
"I remember when i was a kid and I f*cked up real bad, I think I dropped the C word in front of one of my aunts or something like that. It wasn't close to the first time I'd been caught using profanity and I figured I'll just mumble sorry and bow my head 'n pout and weasel my way outta this."
"My grandfather wasn't having that sh*t. He told me to grab a plate and throw it on the floor, hard enough to make it break. I did. He said now tell it sorry. I did. He said is the plate ok? I said no it's still broken. He said now apologize to the other plates. I did. He said is the plate ok? I said no it's still broken. He said did the other plates move closer to you? I said no. He said maybe now you understand."
"That's a hell of a way to get the point across. I'm pretty sure it would stick though."
Former Anti-Vaxxers Explain What Actually Made Them Change Their Mind | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Honesty is key.
"Never be afraid to be honest or kind. Both can be very hard in the right circumstances."
"Or be afraid and do it anyway."
"True that. Courage isn't the lack of fear, but the willingness to move forward when afraid."
"If you have to choose between being right and being kind, choose being kind and you'll be right every time."
"How do you decide between speaking an honest truth/opinion which will hurt feelings, or telling a harmless lie out of kindness instead?"
"Here's how it works out for me in life; kindness is a whole lot more important that telling everyone your honest OPINION. That's the key right there - if your opinion is likely going to hurt someone, maybe do your best to put the other person's feelings first, but it doesn't mean you have to lie. If you're in a situation where you're still being pushed to share your honest opinion, try to do so in a nice way. If, however, you are trying to tell someone an honest FACT, something that is grounded in reality and will affect them regardless, you are obligated to share that out of principle."
"I work in the veterinary field, and have seen many pets be diagnosed with cancer, skin disease, giardia, UTI, etc. It wouldn't help anyone for those owners not to know their pet it sick, no matter how expensive or difficult the treatment is. Similarly, before we have a diagnosis, treating that worried owner with kindness in the face of the unknown is sometimes the only bit good in that person's day."
Always leave the offer on the table.
"I won't leave people out. I was frequently left out growing up, and it makes you feel an inch tall."
"I always offer and then offer again, to include people. It's always nice to have the offer even if you don't want to come along."
"Similar to this I always make it a point to make my own judgments about people. When I was growing up it was considered social suicide to be my friend. The only way I could make friends as a kid was if I befriended the new kid before someone else told them not to be my friend. I think the least people can do for each other is make their own judgments after getting to know someone a bit and to not make plans within earshot of others unless you invite everyone who can hear it. People are social animals, it hurts to be excluded from the group."
Replace the roll!
"If I'm the one who finishes the toilet paper roll, I'm the one who replaces it. Sadly my family doesn't do the same and then I have to waddle to the cabinet to get a new roll."
"Honestly, if you are the one who gets it close to finished, you should replace it and leave the early empty near enough to use (to finish)."
"What if it's a really messy one and you need more than just the last little bit?"
"This is where the military rule of 'two is one. One is none' makes sense to me. In my house every toilet has at least one spare roll ready to go within arms reach of the throne. We know that if you start the last one then you should re-stock after."
Treat people the way you want to be treated.
"Don't be an a-hole."
"I go out of my way to not have to deal with a-holes, and it's time well spent."'
"The golden rule really matters. Treat others the way you want to be treated."
"It's one of those sayings that you have to actually analyze and absorb, and life changes for the better. "A penny saved is a penny earned" is another one we all hear, but when you think about it and truly absorb the mentality, life changes for the better."
"There's so many sayings we all hear, and a lot of them really can make life better."
"Don't be an a**hole is the first rule in our house, too. Second is assume best intentions (on the part of whomever you are dealing with). There are others but we've always said if you stick to those two solidly, you'll do just fine."
"Also, I swear by 'don't assume the other person is intending to be malicious.' There's been so much house drama (in my student university house) bc 'so and so' thinks 'so and so' is doing this to spite her, single her out, targeting her."
"Always assume there's no beef, and there will be no beef."
Keep your word.
"Keep your word, always."
"Yes!! I try and live by this as well! If I decide to make plans, I follow through, if I say I'll be there, I'll be there. I grew up with constant disappointment, and as an adult, I realized a lot of people pay lip service but have no intention of following through, they just want to look good in the moment. I try and live up to my word as much as possible because of this. I may not have a lot of friends, but god damn it, I'm honest and dependable."
"This needs to be paired with 'learn how to say NO.' It'll make it a lot easier to keep your word if you don't give it when you really shouldn't."
"I genuinely try to do this... I really do. But I am pretty bad about it. Eventually I realized I need to be more realistic about what I expect myself to do, not just for others, but for myself. But it's been a learning process. Usually it's small things: "I'll show up at 11:00" then show up 11:05 when it's a 5 minute walk, that sort of thing. I always feel terrible about it."
"I kept reading to see if anyone else felt this way. I'm bad about it, but I always thought I had the best of intentions… I was told by a therapist in my teens that just saying one's intention out loud was a good way to get past the inaction and antisocial tendencies I had from my severe anxiety/depression. The theory being that the more one announces one's intentions to other people, the more one feels accountable and is more likely to follow through with their plans. In my case, it didn't work and I just let people down and felt more guilt. Being more realistic helped me develop boundaries and also determine who was able and unable to handle the personal space I needed, which was (and is) a lot."
Can malice be explained by ignorance?
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by ignorance."
"People are only capable of that which they are conscious."
"Now I understand why people do that. It's a survival mechanism. But instincts aren't always our friend in a civilized society."
"The way I've heard it was 'incompetence' rather than 'ignorance'; mostly same idea."
"Don't tell truths that are not yours to tell. You don't need to be spreading people's business around without their permission."
"I think this has value, but some of the big things should be told to protect others. Being hands off when someone will likely repeat an action that hurts others is the actual worst."
"A related moral code I try to follow is to not take gossip to heart. So when people talk trash about someone I have never met I do my best to ignore it and form my own opinion. If someone is really trash, they're going to show you and you could decide for yourself."
Walk a mile in their shoes.
"Always put yourself in the other person's shoes. It really help see thing from their perspective."
"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you insult them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes."
Our morals dictate how we move through the world, and ultimately how the world will treat us in return. By treating others with kindness and respect can bring that back to you. Suddenly, you're surrounded by people who care about the world just as much as you do.
But the same can be said without following this code. If you treat others poorly, you can expect the same in return.
It's your choice. What do you decide?
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
Want to "know" more?
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
Want to "know" more?
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
Want to "know" more?
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.