They leave out so many juicy tidbits when teaching history.
Even when we get into college years, there is still a ton you don't hear about until you're a senior citizen.
There should be a "History: XXX" class.
I had to suffer through World Civ. Geesh.
A little extra naughty goes a long way in education.
So tells us some sassy secrets.
Redditor gosty_the_brave24 wanted everyone to spread a little history.
So they asked:
"What's an NSFW facts about a historical figures that we don't learn in school?"
This thread maybe slightly inappropriate for readers under 17. So NC-17
Educational, but inappropriate.
Clothes Off
Shaking Cold Weather GIF by funkGiphy"Victor Hugo wrote in the nude as a form of motivation. He was a horrible procrastinator so he would lock himself in a room and have his clothes taken as encouragement to get his work done (because he was cold). When he was finished, he'd get his clothes back."
retro-petro
How Wonderous
"Wonder Woman was created by a polyamorous man who was (a) a feminist, (b) a kinkster, and (c) living with two bisexual women. Wonder Woman was influenced by at least one of his wives, and started as a very overt, kinky, empowering sex symbol for women, and was nearly cancelled because of how explicitly she was being depicted. It's supposed that her rope of truth was partly inspired by rope play in BDSM."
ray25lee
Zelda Lies
"F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda, told him that the way he was built, he would never please a woman. He confessed this to Hemingway in a French bar, and Hemingway told him to meet him in the bathroom where he looked at Fitzgerald's penis and told him he was 'perfectly fine.'"
littleredridinghood6
Ummm...
"Emperor Nero kicked his wife Poppaea to death. He later found a slave boy named Sporus who looked like Poppaea, had him castrated, and kept him as his wife. After the death of Nero, Sporus was taken by Nymphidius Sabina, who treated Sporus as his wife. But Sabina was murdered by his guards when he tried to become Emperor. Sporus was next taken by the Emperor Otho, who had once been married to Poppaea until Nero took her away from him."
"Otho called Sporus Poppaea and took him as his wife. Otho was murdered shortly afterwards. Otho's rival, Vitellius, planned on using Sporus in a reenactment of the Rape of Peroserpina in the Colosseum, but Sporus committed suicide."
FireFlinger
Domino's?
Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy"The Boris Yeltsin pizza incident, in which the former Russian leader was found in just his underwear outside the Whitehouse hailing a cab so he could go get pizza... https://www.politico.com/blogs/on-congress/2009/09/yeltsin-drunk-in-his-underwear-hailing-a-cab-021553"
fezwang
I just don't find pizza THAT appealing.
Falling Apart
tales from the darkside 80s GIFGiphy"Herodotus, an ancient Greek Historian once stated that female mummies who passed away in Ancient Egypt were found more decomposed than male mummies. The reason being was that the females were kept at home for longer periods of time before sent for embalming to prevent necrophilia."
Icarithan
It did not work...
"Not quite a historical figure but John Pemberton, the inventor of Coca Cola, did so because he was chronically addicted to morphine and was trying to get off of it. Original ingredients were cocaine (famously), sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. He was trying to supplant his other addiction. It did not work."
Nightjar82
"So another thing about Pemberton that I learned very recently was that he served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Confederate army during the Civil War. His morphine addiction you were talking about was actually something he developed after being stabbed with a sword during a battle."
TylerD1528
In Public
"John Quincy Adams boasted that outdoor sex was an American invention. Between that, his pet alligator, and a life spent in public service (literally from his teenage years until his death), probably far more interesting than most people who've held high office in the USA."
Bowmore34yr
"Also swam nude in the Potomac, daily, when he was president."
costabius
Build It
"The new UK monarch King Charles III great-great-grandfather Edward VII was so obese that he commissioned a french carpenter to build a chair that would enable him to have sex with one or two people at once. It is called the siege d'amour and was installed at his favourite brothel."
haveasliceofpizza
Oh Mary
frankensteins monster frankenstein GIFGiphy"The author of Frankenstien lost her virginity on her mother's grave."
Unique_Finance_2358
"In the version I saw, her father didn't approve of the relationship, so she told him she was visiting her mother's grave to avoid suspicion and then met her guy there for sexy time."
Agitated_Ad7576
Well that is a whole lot of mess. Goodness.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Curious to hear examples from those who've witnessed extremely unusual behavior at these facilities had plenty to share when Redditor N3SSDOGGDOGG asked:
"People who have spent time in a Psych Ward what is the craziest thing you’ve witnessed?"
One thing is certain. There is never a dull moment.
Consequences Of Enabling Drug Addiction
"In our tiny community some kids are smelly because typically the parents are addicts who either didn't pay their water bill, don't own a washer/dryer or are too brain dead to care. The nearest laundromat is now 30 miles away because the local one got broken into and robbed too many times by. Our school is awesome, there are staff members who do laundry for these kids and make sure they get showers. It's discreet so they're not ridiculed. I hate how our society enables addiction and even celebrates drug use, but I don't know how we can fix it at this point. It's gotten completely out of hand."
– Marisleysis33
Taking You To A Live Commercial
"My brother-in-law had a stint in a psych ward a little over a year ago, and on a particularly manic day they were in the middle of the community room and started singing."
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now”
"This was then met by about 40-50 psych patients shouting back."
“CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!”
"After getting a few verses in the orderlies stepped in and kindly requested they stop, which was kinda a shame since it sounded like they were all having a good time."
– MikeMars1225
Select Highlights
"I've worked in one for about 2 years now. The staff are just as crazy."
"Here's some highlights"
"Patient got into the ceiling, couldn't get them down for a while."
"Patient milked themself into their coffee. Did you know some anti-psychotics make you lactate?"
"The entire adolescent unit escaping because maintenence forgot to lock the gate. Don't worry. They all came back eventually."
"And myself getting a concussion from a patient trying to escape, they weren't successful, but at least I didn't work for 6 weeks."
– NeverlandEnding
Character Performance
"The funniest thing I ever saw (spent total of about three years in in my teens and early 20's): a kid in seclusion who was having a genuinely good time making staff's life a living nightmare while he was in there, took apart the plastic mattress, tore the foam inside into small pieces, donned the empty mattress and started yelling 'I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!' while tossing the pieces of foam around like confetti. Even most of the staff were laughing about it."
– t_portch
Physical violence seemed to be a common occurrence.
He Had A Violent Streak
"Not a patient but an employee. Had a 16 year old kid come in who was about 6'2 220 pounds. Built like a linebacker. I found out since he was technically a child he somehow ended up at an autism school for children with very little security. He ended up inflicting a TBI on one of the teachers and got sent to us. The kid had a violent streak the likes I hadn't seen before, he knew he was stronger than most and liked to fight unprovoked and it always took 4 to 6 people to restrain him. I never seen a patient spend more time than him in the 'safety room' an incredibly small padded room with nothing in it. His parents wouldnt authorize his move somewhere else and they wouldn't take him home either. We were not equipt for someone with his level of violence. So there he sat... For one and a half years..."
"It wasn't like a single incident that was crazy, it was the entire situation."
– DisagreeableFool
David And Wendy
"I was in an adolescent inpatient facility for 30 days. One kid named David who was very tall for his age, I think he was only 13. He insisted on watching Friday the 13th movies on movie nights and everyone was afraid to disagree with him because of his violent nature and frequent homicidal fantasies. He hated taking his meds, and probably 2 or 3 times a week he'd brawl with the psych nurses over it. No joke, it took 5 to 6 large grown men to overcome this kid. He was scary."
– better-off-ted
A Mother's Experience
"My mother worked in an asylum in Ireland when she was about 15. This was in the early 60s. She loved working there, despite the fact that some of the patients would physically try and kill her. One patient always stuck out to her, every day he would tell my mum he was going to kill her when she finished work. She knew he loved music, so would tell him she was out dancing that night, and could he wait until the next day, which he agreed to. The next day he would forget what he had said, and would threaten her again, and she'd say the say thing again. This went on for a couple of years that she worked there."
– tiredandstupid82
Turns out some patients weren't seeing a change of scenery any time soon.
Fighting To Stay
"I work inpatient and we had someone who was in for 2 1/2 years. They would try to take him out but he would start fighting immediately and eventually said he preferred it."
– Deathdad
Simon
I was a social worker at an institution that had a hall for what we called 'lifers,' it was essentially for people who had no hopes of ever being released due to their conditions. Anyway, my hall had 14 beds and it was full. There was this one guy who was huge. He was 6’7 and about 350. His name was Simon. He suffered from drug-induced schizophrenia and had bipolar disorder. He talked to himself all day, but never talked to others. All the other men in the ward were scared of him."
"It was my day to do first shift. I got there early to start on some paperwork I needed to finish. When I got my keys in the door, I heard Simon hit the door with his fists. I looked through the tiny window on the door and he and the hall was covered in blood. I panicked and called security for backup because I thought he had killed somebody."
"Turns out, Simon was in the throes of an extreme manic episode and had managed to walk the literal soles of his feet off. Other medication he was on thinned his blood and led to him bleeding all over the place."
"We checked the camera footage and he had walked and talked all night. The orderly (who was fired that day) had slept through his whole shift and never heard Simon walking back and forth."
– CamillaCream02
Some of these examples sound like they could patients in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, without Nurse Ratched tormenting them.
But props to the real humans who are compassionate and look after those who can't function alone in society.
"What single trope can cause you to fully lose interest in a movie/show?"
That is quite an unusual set of skills
"I can’t stand seeing specialists being cast as masters of multiple highly specialized skill sets or areas of study."
"I understand that it’s a popular action movie trope, but you also see this in the medical and academic fields."- BeatMeElmo
Income/Housing Disparity
"The main character bakes muffins part-time 3 days a week but lives in a 2500 sq ft loft penthouse in the chic part of town."- SeaTie
Henchmen Have Families Too...
"If I kill him I'm no better than him"
"Motherf*cker you just smoked 19 of his henchmen and put 5 more in a wheelchair for life, end his a**."
"And of course the bad guy gets let go, but decides at the last second to try to kill the good guy, justifying a bullet between the eyes, usually by either the good guy's sidek ick, or the bad guy's henchmen that he just got done betraying."- Pyrochazm
matt damon punch GIF by Jason BourneGiphyGet It Over With!!!
"The main character is about to get killed."
"The antagonist is sitting there pointing a gun at them about to shoot them, but they first have to give a 30-second speech."
"This gives the love interest/forgotten sidekick/child with developing fighting skills to come kill the enemy instead."
"Follow it up with a quote from them saying 'you think I’d miss this party?'."- Jimbo19091
Mortal Wound? No Problem!
"Being mildly impacted by lethal injuries."
"Likewise, when in subfreezing temperatures, not succumbing to hypothermia when soaking wet.'
"Not always enough to shut it off, but it always stands out and strains the illusion."- spill_oreilly
No Conflict? Let's Make Some...
"Smart people making dumb decisions for drama."
"I have stopped watching several shows because of this."- TheWalkingBlondeJoke
hey arnold nicksplat GIFGiphy"We Can't Do It Without Them!"
"The cop who is about to retire, the soldier with one last mission before they're out, and the person who was about to get married WHEN THEY GOT KILLED."- virgilreality
"The ex-cop/FBI agent that comes out of retirement because the entire government can't catch a criminal."- The_Spyre
Just Kiss Already!!!
"'Will they won't they'."
"I liked watching 'New Girl', but when they completely restarted the main characters' relationship I was like, 'Oh, so it's going to be like that'."
"Dear producers, please let your characters grow."- MrMToomey
"But she has glasses! And a ponytail..."
"The 'clumsy, nerdy, awkward girl' who are normally played by the hottest actresses out there..."- Icy_Note_8154
It Only Took Two And A Half Hours To Figure Out!!
'“Wait!'
"I can explain this very obvious and easy to explain scenario'.”
“'Nope'."
"You’re dead to me."
"Now stare speechless as I’m meander my way out of your life slowly'.”-Aerhart941
"Something that can be fixed right away with just a conversation."- Beginning-Match592
"If an entire conundrum can be solved by just someone waiting 1 minute for the other person to explain but chooses not to."
"Irritates me to no end and I'd much rather stop watching the movie."- charthrowawayliet
Tyler Perry Problem Solved GIF by NickelodeonGiphyBig Words Can't Get You Everything...
"When a character is repeatedly hyped as being insanely intelligent, but then they just have a decent vocabulary and aren't particularly insightful or clever."- Gloomy-Flamingo-1733
The best part of sitting back and watching a movie or a TV show is to surrender to a world completely different from our own.
And enjoying them in the comfort of our own homes gives us the freedom to scream at our TV sets when something happens to annoy us.