They leave out so many juicy tidbits when teaching history.
Even when we get into college years, there is still a ton you don't hear about until you're a senior citizen.
There should be a "History: XXX" class.
I had to suffer through World Civ. Geesh.
A little extra naughty goes a long way in education.
So tells us some sassy secrets.
Redditor gosty_the_brave24 wanted everyone to spread a little history.
So they asked:
"What's an NSFW facts about a historical figures that we don't learn in school?"
This thread maybe slightly inappropriate for readers under 17. So NC-17
Educational, but inappropriate.
Clothes Off
Shaking Cold Weather GIF by funkGiphy"Victor Hugo wrote in the nude as a form of motivation. He was a horrible procrastinator so he would lock himself in a room and have his clothes taken as encouragement to get his work done (because he was cold). When he was finished, he'd get his clothes back."
retro-petro
How Wonderous
"Wonder Woman was created by a polyamorous man who was (a) a feminist, (b) a kinkster, and (c) living with two bisexual women. Wonder Woman was influenced by at least one of his wives, and started as a very overt, kinky, empowering sex symbol for women, and was nearly cancelled because of how explicitly she was being depicted. It's supposed that her rope of truth was partly inspired by rope play in BDSM."
ray25lee
Zelda Lies
"F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife, Zelda, told him that the way he was built, he would never please a woman. He confessed this to Hemingway in a French bar, and Hemingway told him to meet him in the bathroom where he looked at Fitzgerald's penis and told him he was 'perfectly fine.'"
littleredridinghood6
Ummm...
"Emperor Nero kicked his wife Poppaea to death. He later found a slave boy named Sporus who looked like Poppaea, had him castrated, and kept him as his wife. After the death of Nero, Sporus was taken by Nymphidius Sabina, who treated Sporus as his wife. But Sabina was murdered by his guards when he tried to become Emperor. Sporus was next taken by the Emperor Otho, who had once been married to Poppaea until Nero took her away from him."
"Otho called Sporus Poppaea and took him as his wife. Otho was murdered shortly afterwards. Otho's rival, Vitellius, planned on using Sporus in a reenactment of the Rape of Peroserpina in the Colosseum, but Sporus committed suicide."
FireFlinger
Domino's?
Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy"The Boris Yeltsin pizza incident, in which the former Russian leader was found in just his underwear outside the Whitehouse hailing a cab so he could go get pizza... https://www.politico.com/blogs/on-congress/2009/09/yeltsin-drunk-in-his-underwear-hailing-a-cab-021553"
fezwang
I just don't find pizza THAT appealing.
Falling Apart
tales from the darkside 80s GIFGiphy"Herodotus, an ancient Greek Historian once stated that female mummies who passed away in Ancient Egypt were found more decomposed than male mummies. The reason being was that the females were kept at home for longer periods of time before sent for embalming to prevent necrophilia."
Icarithan
It did not work...
"Not quite a historical figure but John Pemberton, the inventor of Coca Cola, did so because he was chronically addicted to morphine and was trying to get off of it. Original ingredients were cocaine (famously), sugar, alcohol, and caffeine. He was trying to supplant his other addiction. It did not work."
Nightjar82
"So another thing about Pemberton that I learned very recently was that he served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Confederate army during the Civil War. His morphine addiction you were talking about was actually something he developed after being stabbed with a sword during a battle."
TylerD1528
In Public
"John Quincy Adams boasted that outdoor sex was an American invention. Between that, his pet alligator, and a life spent in public service (literally from his teenage years until his death), probably far more interesting than most people who've held high office in the USA."
Bowmore34yr
"Also swam nude in the Potomac, daily, when he was president."
costabius
Build It
"The new UK monarch King Charles III great-great-grandfather Edward VII was so obese that he commissioned a french carpenter to build a chair that would enable him to have sex with one or two people at once. It is called the siege d'amour and was installed at his favourite brothel."
haveasliceofpizza
Oh Mary
frankensteins monster frankenstein GIFGiphy"The author of Frankenstien lost her virginity on her mother's grave."
Unique_Finance_2358
"In the version I saw, her father didn't approve of the relationship, so she told him she was visiting her mother's grave to avoid suspicion and then met her guy there for sexy time."
Agitated_Ad7576
Well that is a whole lot of mess. Goodness.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Redditor kk-sahinul wanted to chat about the jobs that make the money not worth it, so they asked:
"What profession do you find unhealthy?"
I worked as a waiter. That's all I say.
Heavy lifting...
construction GIFGiphy"Construction, breathing in all kinds of dust all day, working in weird positions, heavy lifting, loud, dangerous tools and so on."
thatsoneuglybaby
On the Road Again...
"I imagine trucking comes with a lot of problems."
Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My grandfather was a trucker his whole life, he started his own business and raised 3 kids off of trucking. It killed him."
"Sleep deprivation, sitting still for 10+ hours at a time, an endless stream of black coffee and later energy drinks to stay alert, eating nothing but fast food and truck stop fare."
"And even when he was 'home,' the phone rang non-stop, usually brokers asking him to run another load from VA to CA."
"And to top it all off, he would be gone for weeks at a time, missing significant chunks of his children’s lives. And all of this, just to enjoy retirement for 2 years before dying of total kidney failure."
ChallengeLate1947
Toxic
"Welding, did that for 15 years. Breathing in toxic fumes all day sneeze into a kleenex and it would be black."
Consistent-Panic-996
"My dad was a welder and after retiring got lung cancer and caught it early, but lost part of a lung. Luckily my husband is a lawyer and has a friend that does personal injury lawyer specializing in asbestos so my dad has been getting settlements from over a dozen companies. The companies were required to put $ in a fund for settlements."
ketomachine
Too Much
"EMT. Those hours are unbelievable."
Jrk16
"Why are 24 hour shifts so common in medicine? There is ample evidence that mental performance declines over even an 8 hour shift, let alone 24hrs. Seems that of all professions this is one where you'd want everyone to be sharp and fresh as much as possible."
Johnny_B_GOODBOI
"And the lack of sleep, the caffeine intake, the trauma, the assaults, the gas station food."
austinh1999
The Fields
couple dancing GIFGiphy"Farmers. My dad was exposed to toxic herbicides/pesticides and his doctors attributed his terminal stomach cancer to his decades of exposure."
username987654321a
"And that doesn’t even get into the insanely dangerous machinery they work with. I’ve read some real horror stories about guys getting caught in equipment and that’s all, folks."
kittyness02
Farmers are necessary. But not fun apparently.
Chronic
Doctor Hospital GIF by LCLGiphy"Healthcare workers, chronic lack of sleep due to understaffing, potentially combative patients, various communicable diseases, sometimes threats from patients/their families."
HollyRoller66
Shaken & Stirred
"Bartending. There are so many alcoholics on both sides of the bar you become friends with. It can be difficult to keep yourself in check."
Mowings1
"I bartended for 10 years. Stopped almost exactly a year ago and while I loved being in that industry, getting out made me realize that drinking almost every day and doing drugs just to keep being able to handle those crazy weekend shifts wasn’t as fun as I justified it to be in my head. LOL."
freakybe
Not Safe
"Bouncer/Security. In my younger days I spent time as a bouncer, bar-back, and concert security. Nothing like having a drunken a** take swings at you for trying to do your job. Or getting blind-sided by a beer bottle to the head, etc. 100% not a long term sustainable role."
Toxikfoxx
Hazards
"Service work. Healthcare & K-12 teaching particularly. Medicine sucks due to inept healthcare & residency. My mother’s a teacher - overworked, underpaid."
Saint2th
"Where I am the schools are filled with lots of environmental hazards that really are unsafe to work around let alone have kids at everyday (mold, asbestos etc) it's unreal."
"People turn a blind eye or say it's not there but I grew up exploring every corner of that big old school... it's there. My mom was a teacher for four decades, got a different rare cancer 2x. The second one killed her. Underpaid is an understatement."
Bureaucrat_hell-loop
All of Us...
"Pretty much any job you don't like doing, which seems to be most for the majority of people. Forcing yourself to get up everyday to go do a job you hate just so you can break even at the end of the month."
chickadeedeedee_
Do what you love. If you can. And perhaps try to avoid some of these whenever possible.
Do you have any jobs to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
Chrissy Teigen Cupcake GIF by Billboard Music AwardsGiphy"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
gold GIFGiphy"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Moviegoers offered examples of the things that don't fly in real life when Redditor qbl256 asked:
"What only works in movies?"
Courtroom antics are better left up on the big screen.
Anything Goes In Court
"Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are 'going somewhere with it.'"
– aperson7780
Ignoring Protocol
"Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence."
– shegedep
Respecting Boundaries
"Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok."
– Slytherian101
Action movies are entertaining because of its heightened sequences that are more convincing on film.
Violent Tactic
"Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for several minutes while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage."
"Actually lampshaded in Archer."
– yParticle
Piercing Glass
"Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over."
– Glock43xyz
It's Lit
"Shooting a gas tank so it explodes."
"Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine."
– midunda
The Perfect Aim
"Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open."
– Studio_Life
It's Such A Blast
"Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety."
– ImInJeopardy
Certain elements are added to elevate a scene–which only proves, "yeah, that's not real-life."
Sonic Aftermath
"A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection."
– KyOatey
Street Vendor At The Wrong Time & Place
"Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually."
– Double-Elevator619
No Time For Recovery
"Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally."
– Ruminations0
What I always get a kick out of is when the distressed character attempts to flee from a knife wielding, masked home intruder by running up the stairs instead of going out the backdoor.
Like, why make the escape route that much more difficult by adding another obstacle like jumping out the window or being trapped in the closet until the inevitable moment of death?
Oh, right, it extends the tense sequence to prolong the final moments of the soon-to-be victim.
Ah, gotta love the movies.