James Devaney
/ Contributor

Relationships can be incredibly complicated for all parties involved, and leaving––even if breaking up is the wisest decision––can be easier said than done.

"Redditors who are not in love with their SOs, why are you still with them?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor mimieieieie, who in asking it, reminded us that the psychology behind people stay can be difficult to comprehend.

Warning: Sensitive material ahead.


"I honestly don't know."

I honestly don't know. Because it's been more than 25 years and it's just easier to live as roommates than to go my own way, even though in a lot of ways that would be easier.

Additionally, she would be royally screwed in so many ways. No real income, no place to really go. She wouldn't be able to afford a nice place. I'd be perfectly fine but she'd be in a world of hurt. I don't necessarily love her but I don't hate her enough to do that to her.

So I stay.

Soon2BDeleted

"She had me convinced..."

She had me convinced everything was either normal or my fault. Then she cheated and is playing the victim because I read some of her messages after I found out she lied. Now it takes a year to divorce where I live so technically still married for a year... Anyone reading this for personal reasons... Just get out.

KingofGlassPpl

"My husband and I..."

We have a special needs daughter, who doesn't talk. Until she's able to tell me that something happened and she can understand more complex ideas and situations, there's no way I'm putting her in someone else's hands.

My husband and I just don't mesh, he doesn't like me and I don't like him. For the most part we can get along and even have fun doing things together with our daughter. But we haven't been intimate in years. We're both in our late 30's. And we reasonably don't have family to help.

Although once she starts going to school full time, I believe I will have more options to do something financially productive with my time.

peopleschmaps

"I'm thankfully..."

I'm thankfully not in this relationship anymore, but out of fear that he'd do something to hurt himself. He threatened to do it when I first brought up that I wasn't happy in the relationship, and he became incredibly manipulative.

Imhavingalovelyday

"I was the one super in love..."

I was the one super in love. I don't think he was. Once every 4 or 5 months, we'd have some sort of discussion. The last time, it was that he didn't know if what we had was love. I should have seen that as a warning. But I convinced him to stay with me after an hour discussion.

I think he felt guilty. I stayed with him through suicide attempts, drug induced psychosis, and moved countries for him. I imagine he felt an incredible amount of guilt, and stayed with me because of that. I think he cared for my well being maybe. But he wasn't in love. And it's painfully obvious now that I'm out of the relationship.

Soggy_Nothing

"I am currently..."

I am currently in an amazing relationship, textbook "true love" type of stuff.

However, years back I was in a relationship with a woman who abused me physically and otherwise. And I did not love her, not for the last year or so when the abuse got bad. So why did I stay if it was so bad?

Well, unfortunately—and this is true for abusive relationships as well as for mundane loveless relationships—people get wound up together and then it becomes very difficult to imagine your life without them, even if it's not a good life. I guess people are better at surviving the current hardship than breaking away into the unknown. There's a lot more to my story, and everyone story has its own details.

But I think that's the basic answer. You build a life with someone, it gets hard to throw that life away.

ancisfranderson

"Neither of us..."

Neither of us experience attraction but we still care deeply for each other. He's my best friend!

Also the marriage was mutually beneficial.

BintPlease

"In my first relationship..."

In my first relationship I thought I had scored the jackpot. I was young and he was young and jacked and smart. He over glorified himself and I just couldn't see that. I looked up to him as a god, mainly because he kept saying I was bad at my studies and cooking and basically everything that I love to do. I thought I would never get someone better so thus I stayed. I thought I loved him, I thought that was what love was, but I was just proud that I had gotten someone "so amazing." I was stupid.

elletane

"I'm no longer..."

I'm no longer with them. But was with her for 8 years. I never loved her but stayed because of a combination of self loathing and she relied on me for everything so I was afraid of what would happen if I left.

Also financially I couldn't live on my own. But I bit the bullet anyway because I can figure out the rest and staying with her was only stunting her ability to learn how to be an adult.

3Dbabble

I was afraid he'd kill himself because he was so depressed so I waited till he was a bit better mentally.

The second was more of a roller-coaster. I waited 5 months before breaking up because so many things came up. I didn't want him to think I was obsessed with the number 3 so I couldn't break up after 3 months. Then it was summer break so I couldn't see him and i wanted to do it in person. Then his birthday. Then Christmas! I finally broke up in Jan..... And then get back in April because I genuinely fell for him again. We lasted 3 years before I realised I was the only one putting any effort into staying in the relationship and finally broke it off for good.

Cuddle_Cloud

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Image by ANURAG1112 from Pixabay

Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.

But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.

People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,

"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
Keep reading... Show less
Image by Cucu Petronela from Pixabay

I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.

This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"

Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:

What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Keep reading... Show less
Image by Pawel86 from Pixabay

I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.

I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.

But let's compare thoughts...

Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:

What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
Keep reading... Show less