People Describe The Exact Moment They Realized 'This Person Isn't Actually My Friend'
Noah Silliman on Unsplash

Relationships don't always last, and hurt and feelings of abandonment can be the price we pay for love.

Situations can feel all the more painful once you realize you've been putting in more effort into a relationship than the other party––your "friends" might not really be your friends.

It's disappointing and believe it or not, you're not alone. Far from it.


We heard people's stories after Redditor ACSFeisonYT asked the online community:

"What made you realise, “This person isn’t really my friend"?"

"Needless to say..."

""I decided to throw a Super Bowl party a few years ago. I went out a bought a new grill and mounted a TV in the kitchen for people who wanted to hang out and snack while watching the game. Had tons of food and beer ready."

"30 minutes before kickoff I got a text that the whole group decided to go to someone else's house and that I should bring all my food and beer over there. Needless to say, I didn't go, and I haven't thrown a party at my house since."

LordAtchley

That is incredibly rude! No wonder they're not your friends anymore. You are much better off without them.

"When you are hanging out alone..."

"When you two are hanging out alone and they are super cool. However when another person joins or you hang out in a group, they ignore you or bully you just to score social points with the rest of the group."

SpiffyA**Sam

Wow. You putting it into words made me facepalm at how much bad behavior I've let slide in the past.

"One day I realized..."

"One day I realize they only wanted to be around me when they needed something."

learninghy

This is a big red flag. And once you realize it, you're free!

"They don't contact me..."

"They don't contact me at all unless I go out of my way to contact them first. They find any reason to not hang out. They claim we're good friends but it just feels like they just want to be able to say that I'm a friend without doing anything to be a friend."

Nick31415926

These people are definitely not your friends. They're wasting your time. Cut them loose!

"When I was only..."

"When I was only ever invited to something after someone else said no. I was the reliable backup. I decided I needed a new friend group."

[deleted]

Ouch. Been there. I think many of us have.

"Used to call me everyday..."

"Used to call me everyday to talk about his problems and I'd listen for hours and have lengthy discussions about how to solve them together. When I had a big problem for once and needed him to be at my side and at least listen to me, he couldn't care less."

FragrantCut9605

Ah yes, been there too. These people really tell on themselves, don't they?

"When I was the constant butt..."

"When I was the constant butt of their jokes, and they were thinly veiled insults that they gaslighted me into thinking I made up or that they were actual jokes made out of love."

fatbabyotters_

You don't need that negative energy, especially when light teasing escalates into something that can truly impact your selfesteem.

"Showed them vulnerability..."

"Showed them vulnerability in a very traumatic time of my life and they went to my abusers and told them everything. Don’t think I’ll ever recover from that betrayal of trust."

childofluciferrrr

I'm sorry that happened to you what they did is not okay nor forgivable.

"Didn't value my friendship enough..."

"Didn’t value my friendship enough to have an uncomfortable conversation with me. Ghosted instead."

livinginclip80

I feel this. If I ever accidentally upset someone or make them uncomfortable, I want at least the basic respect shown and have them tell me what is up.

"When I was hanging out..."

"When I was hanging out with my real friends and felt at ease and calm with them. Made me realize that my other friends gave me anxiety."

dedeenxo

That says a lot, doesn't it? Glad you figured it out and have good company now!

Some friendships aren't forever. Give yourself some grace. Some people are not always on the same page as you or share a mutual respect. That is, sadly, a fact of life.

Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!


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