Moment of honesty - I've often found myself lost in thought trying to figure out why my partner is attracted to me.
I'm a complete dweeb who snort-laughs at the silliest things.
I have a permanent resting b*tch face, but a smile that is much more Spongebob's eager face.
I come with ridiculously-named dogs, have like 17 hobbies that make no sense, am pretty much one big soft-spot/bleeding-heart, watch more cartoons and cooking shows than should be legal, and can't reach anything above the bottom shelf.
Reddit user MainSeparate2964 asked:
"Men of reddit, what's something non-sexual that instantly makes a women really attractive?"
Spoiler alert - almost everything on this list is something that either myself or a friend has tried to minimize about themselves.
We all know someone who has stopped smiling "too big" or laughing "too loud" or asking "too many questions" or being "too smart" or hesitated doing an activity because it was "too masculine."
Dulling your shine because you're afraid people won't like you only gives people less to like.
"Someone who is comfortable being happy is someone people wanna... make 'happy.' "
"Yes this exactly. Carefree people who aren’t concerned about their outward appearance and are fine just laughing and being happy are amazing."
"I would add that it doesn't really matter what the laugh sounds like as long as it is genuine."
"I've heard of people being self-conscious about their laughing sound and that's just silly to me, to be honest. A genuine laugh makes you very attractive!"
- stbtbHilary Duff Lol GIF by YoungerTVGiphy
"A curious mind."
"Finding the interesting side of things you have never thought about before, your partner's passions, friends' hobbies, a topic in a movie/book/documentary... whatever."
"You will never run out of things to discover and get excited about with such a person."
"My girlfriend is a massive book nerd and just hearing her talk about books and how some books made her feel is honestly the cutest thing ever."
"God I'm a lucky moron."
"My ex was a beautiful and accomplished woman, but had no curiosity about people or things."
"She was very focused on only her goals - which is fantastic and means she will achieve so much. But the complete lack of odd and intriguing conversations or curiosity about others (including myself) and what makes them unique was difficult."
"I’d say this is true generally too. People are so much more interesting and fun to be around when they have a genuine curiosity."
"Her face lighting up when seeing me."
"I kept running into someone who put a smile on my face the way my then-wife simply couldn't. Never thought of straying, just felt this little melody than never really fit with the rest of the music, y'know?"
"My wife and I split over other reasons."
"I ran into that someone again and found the same smile, that same melody."
"That was almost four years ago. I'm currently waiting for that someone to come home now, and we'll be having dinner together in our home. The melody goes on and on."
"My boyfriend always says he loves how happy I am to see him, how excited I get to see him, and how I smile when I see him."
"It’s genuine. I am really that happy to see him."
"A woman that can crack a great one liner on the spot is about the most attractive, non-aesthetic attribute in my opinion."
"That’s a lifer trait cause when the rest falls apart at least whip smart humor is left"
"Half the reason I fell for my girlfriend is because, when she first met my friends, they were cracking a couple jokes, and some were at her expense (nothing mean though)."
"Before I could say anything, she immediately snapped back. Instant 10/10"
"I breathe the atmosphere, not read it. Tell me directly what you're thinking or how you feel so I know."
"This is so very important. None of us can read minds, yet we do have horrible habits of trying to do so."
"If we all could just stop trying to mindread and stop expecting our own minds to be read, all of society would benefit."
"I specifically remember this one line from the office where Kelly says 'Darrel is SOOOO complicated. What kind of man just says exactly what he's thinking?!' "
"That's what made me realize that I want to be like that in my relationships. It takes some getting used to, but works great. would recommend lol."
"Being well put together, like they got their life some what straight..."
"Otherwise it won't be as devastating when I f*cking ruin it."
"You get an upvote for the unexpected twist at the end lol"
"Damn, you my ex?😭"
"Dude! I think I dated you in college."
"It's a sign of a woman who is neither neglectful of her health nor overly concerned with 'the perfect figure. Just someone who's figured out how to prioritize getting in her best shape while living her best life."
"That's somebody who has it figured out."
"Also buff women are hawt."
"Giving good hugs."
"As a very physical and touch starved person if someone gives me a good hug I might cry and I’ll definitely think about it all week."
"Bro a hug from a girl you really like, and she does it from behind as a surprise, is one of the rarest forms of flattery that men get."
"It's actually a huge shame that more women don't do it"
"This is how my boyfriend won me over in the very first minute of our very first date. :) "
"He gave me a warm, generous, respectful hug and I thought to myself 'damn that was a good hug.' ”
"As a married man, how good my wife is to our kids."
"How much they love her reminds me every day that I chose the right woman. I have known too many men that chose a pulse over the character of the woman they're with and end up getting f*cked up pretty bad at the end of the relationship."
"When I was a single man, I'd say empathy and compassion would have been the top two to get my motor started."
"Good mom vibes are absolutely a thing."
Enthusiasm Over Everything
"Interest / enthusiasm."
"A thousand times this. Ten BILLION times this."
"Sure my wife is attracted to me, but she also loves movies, is psyched when we take our kids to renaissance faires, and likes weird sh*t that I dig as well."
"Does she have big boobs? Yes. Is she psyched about going to an old castle to explore history? Yes."
"Does she have an @ss that won’t quit? Yes. Will she spend 5 hours at a combination book store slash petting zoo? Yes."
"Did I bang her this morning before going to work? Hell yeah. Am I psyched to watch a movie with her tonight? So very much."
"Keep living the life my man."
"Good for you two! Wish you a lifetime of happiness and morning sex and movie nights."
- niiightskyyyHappy Hailee Steinfeld GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
"Being pretty while dressing modest."
"Like, not feeling the need to show everything off. It's hot."
"I also don't mind girls showing everything off either. That's hot too."
"Turns out girls are just hot."
Plays Well With Angry Old Man
"I have enough negativity in my life these days."
"A happy, polite, bubbly personality is amazing and it plays well with my 'angry old man' qualities."
She's Got Moves
"A friend of mine met a girl in a bar we were at. This girl was with one of her friends."
"I wasn’t attracted to this friend so I just basically maintained conversation with her so as to give the other two some room."
"The girl was really cool so chatting was easy, but still not interested."
"At some point the girl gets bored talking, gets up, said she wanted to dance. I thought to myself: ‘awesome yeah cool, why not?’ "
"Guys and gals, those girls moves were something to fall in love to."
"I’m not talking about anything sexy or sensual or whatever, at all… just pure skill and, charisma?"
"I can’t put my finger on what it was, but my god, did that make her look like 80x more attractive, if only for a moment."
- DasThrowawayenUs Army Dancing GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy
The Scent Of A Woman
"I spent 3 hours watching Batman today with a girl I’m kinda seeing and I could smell her the whole time and could barely focus on the film for wanting to kiss her."
"We’ve been seeing each other for months and spend more than enough time together but something about how she smelt today made it maddening"
"When they're respectful of the people around them; be nice to the server, the cashier, let the elderly go in the bus in front of you (in the same line of thought, offering your seat...), etc."
"I want to see you care, or at least know you're dealing with actual human beings."
"You're not in the Matrix, everybody around you is unique with feelings, experiences, fears, likes, dislikes... Treat them as such. All the people around are not NPCs."
"Being really talented at something."
"You can shred the guitar or sing? You know how to weld or scuba dive? You can paint really well? You know a martial art? Hell yeah. Skill is sexy."
"Having a sense of humor is also a really great thing. Even if you don't have a good skill, being witty and fun makes you enjoyable to be around and that counts for a whole hell of a lot."
"Just being hot and being barely able to function as an adult isn't great. Being a humorless mall mannequin of a human isn't what someone seeking a partner wants."
"Above all, being open and honest about what you want makes everything so much better. If your partner can't or won't communicate with you or you can't find an effective way to communicate with each other, there's no point in trying for any sort of relationship other than the most skin-deep sorts."
- Psych-adinbass guitar GIFGiphy
"Unintentional wardrobe malfunctions."
"If I can see a hint of a bra or the peek of panties it’s an instant turn on."
"Can’t be too deliberate though."
Elation And Joy
"Reading these posts reminded me of what I enjoy when it came to a girl - like, her being genuinely happy."
"The smiles, laughs, jokes, that look in a girls eye when she is being mischievous and the smirk that comes with it, the innocent look they make when you catch them in an embarrassing situation..."
"... like mentioning needing to buy more cookies, and you turn around to find her shoving cookies in her mouth - and that pause as you two watch one another, before both bursting out in laughter."
"God, I want this feeling of elation and joy again. I haven't felt it since years before my Divorce."
As for me ... yeah that whole list of things I was insecure about makes up the bulk of why my partner adores me.
He loves that I'm the "worst evil genius" he knows. He is totally into the cartoons, he sings backup when I bust out a silly song, he jumps in and joins me when I do a happy taco dance.
Oh, and the best part; he snort-laughs and he has a big goofy smile like Spongebobs eager face, too!
AND THIS MAN GOT ME A STEP STOOL SO NOW I CAN REACH LIKE 2, MAYBE 3, SHELVES!
Get you some.
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"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....