Men Share The Non-Sexual Things That Instantly Make A Woman Attractive
Matt Moloney/Unsplash

Moment of honesty - I've often found myself lost in thought trying to figure out why my partner is attracted to me.

I'm a complete dweeb who snort-laughs at the silliest things.

I have a permanent resting b*tch face, but a smile that is much more Spongebob's eager face.

I come with ridiculously-named dogs, have like 17 hobbies that make no sense, am pretty much one big soft-spot/bleeding-heart, watch more cartoons and cooking shows than should be legal, and can't reach anything above the bottom shelf.

Reddit user MainSeparate2964 asked:

"Men of reddit, what's something non-sexual that instantly makes a women really attractive?"

Spoiler alert - almost everything on this list is something that either myself or a friend has tried to minimize about themselves.

We all know someone who has stopped smiling "too big" or laughing "too loud" or asking "too many questions" or being "too smart" or hesitated doing an activity because it was "too masculine."

Dulling your shine because you're afraid people won't like you only gives people less to like.


"Genuine laughter."

"Someone who is comfortable being happy is someone people wanna... make 'happy.' "

- walk_through_this

"Yes this exactly. Carefree people who aren’t concerned about their outward appearance and are fine just laughing and being happy are amazing."

- thatonetraveler

"I would add that it doesn't really matter what the laugh sounds like as long as it is genuine."

"I've heard of people being self-conscious about their laughing sound and that's just silly to me, to be honest. A genuine laugh makes you very attractive!"

- stbtb

Hilary Duff Lol GIF by YoungerTVGiphy


"A curious mind."

"Finding the interesting side of things you have never thought about before, your partner's passions, friends' hobbies, a topic in a movie/book/documentary... whatever."

"You will never run out of things to discover and get excited about with such a person."

- Jimbo_Sandcastle

"My girlfriend is a massive book nerd and just hearing her talk about books and how some books made her feel is honestly the cutest thing ever."

"God I'm a lucky moron."

- cannedrex2406

"My ex was a beautiful and accomplished woman, but had no curiosity about people or things."

"She was very focused on only her goals - which is fantastic and means she will achieve so much. But the complete lack of odd and intriguing conversations or curiosity about others (including myself) and what makes them unique was difficult."

"I’d say this is true generally too. People are so much more interesting and fun to be around when they have a genuine curiosity."

- ColinHalfhand

The Melody

"Her face lighting up when seeing me."

- seeasea

"I kept running into someone who put a smile on my face the way my then-wife simply couldn't. Never thought of straying, just felt this little melody than never really fit with the rest of the music, y'know?"

"My wife and I split over other reasons."

"I ran into that someone again and found the same smile, that same melody."

"That was almost four years ago. I'm currently waiting for that someone to come home now, and we'll be having dinner together in our home. The melody goes on and on."

- walk_through_this

"My boyfriend always says he loves how happy I am to see him, how excited I get to see him, and how I smile when I see him."

"It’s genuine. I am really that happy to see him."

- mollylg311

One Liners

"A woman that can crack a great one liner on the spot is about the most attractive, non-aesthetic attribute in my opinion."

- Burjennio

"That’s a lifer trait cause when the rest falls apart at least whip smart humor is left"

- balldatfwhutdawhut

"Half the reason I fell for my girlfriend is because, when she first met my friends, they were cracking a couple jokes, and some were at her expense (nothing mean though)."

"Before I could say anything, she immediately snapped back. Instant 10/10"

- Walshy231231

The Atmosphere

"Being straightforward."

"I breathe the atmosphere, not read it. Tell me directly what you're thinking or how you feel so I know."

- I_Love_Small_Breasts

"This is so very important. None of us can read minds, yet we do have horrible habits of trying to do so."

"If we all could just stop trying to mindread and stop expecting our own minds to be read, all of society would benefit."

- truthseeker1228


"I specifically remember this one line from the office where Kelly says 'Darrel is SOOOO complicated. What kind of man just says exactly what he's thinking?!' "

"That's what made me realize that I want to be like that in my relationships. It takes some getting used to, but works great. would recommend lol."

- moist_maplecrumpet

Plot Twist!

"Being well put together, like they got their life some what straight..."

"Otherwise it won't be as devastating when I f*cking ruin it."

- UpsetYet

"You get an upvote for the unexpected twist at the end lol"

- Affectionate_Wall705

"Damn, you my ex?😭"

- _anxious_lemon

"Dude! I think I dated you in college."

- mark_f**kerburg0



"It's a sign of a woman who is neither neglectful of her health nor overly concerned with 'the perfect figure. Just someone who's figured out how to prioritize getting in her best shape while living her best life."

"That's somebody who has it figured out."

"Also buff women are hawt."

- ArchDukeNemesis



"Giving good hugs."

"As a very physical and touch starved person if someone gives me a good hug I might cry and I’ll definitely think about it all week."

- MrHoneybuns

"Bro a hug from a girl you really like, and she does it from behind as a surprise, is one of the rarest forms of flattery that men get."

"It's actually a huge shame that more women don't do it"

- MainSeparate2964

"This is how my boyfriend won me over in the very first minute of our very first date. :) "

"He gave me a warm, generous, respectful hug and I thought to myself 'damn that was a good hug.' ”

- foxglove0326

Mom Mode

"As a married man, how good my wife is to our kids."

"How much they love her reminds me every day that I chose the right woman. I have known too many men that chose a pulse over the character of the woman they're with and end up getting f*cked up pretty bad at the end of the relationship."

"When I was a single man, I'd say empathy and compassion would have been the top two to get my motor started."

- valboots

"Good mom vibes are absolutely a thing."

- Tsiar1

Enthusiasm Over Everything

"Interest / enthusiasm."

"A thousand times this. Ten BILLION times this."

"Sure my wife is attracted to me, but she also loves movies, is psyched when we take our kids to renaissance faires, and likes weird sh*t that I dig as well."

"Does she have big boobs? Yes. Is she psyched about going to an old castle to explore history? Yes."

"Does she have an @ss that won’t quit? Yes. Will she spend 5 hours at a combination book store slash petting zoo? Yes."

"Did I bang her this morning before going to work? Hell yeah. Am I psyched to watch a movie with her tonight? So very much."

- Jaws_V_The_Return

"Keep living the life my man."

- literalilliteratekat

"Good for you two! Wish you a lifetime of happiness and morning sex and movie nights."

- niiightskyyy

Happy Hailee Steinfeld GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy

That's Hot

"Being pretty while dressing modest."

"Like, not feeling the need to show everything off. It's hot."

"I also don't mind girls showing everything off either. That's hot too."

"Turns out girls are just hot."

- o8unu

Plays Well With Angry Old Man

"Being nice."

"I have enough negativity in my life these days."

"A happy, polite, bubbly personality is amazing and it plays well with my 'angry old man' qualities."

- GingerMarquis

She's Got Moves

"A friend of mine met a girl in a bar we were at. This girl was with one of her friends."

"I wasn’t attracted to this friend so I just basically maintained conversation with her so as to give the other two some room."

"The girl was really cool so chatting was easy, but still not interested."

"At some point the girl gets bored talking, gets up, said she wanted to dance. I thought to myself: ‘awesome yeah cool, why not?’ "

"Guys and gals, those girls moves were something to fall in love to."

"I’m not talking about anything sexy or sensual or whatever, at all… just pure skill and, charisma?"

"I can’t put my finger on what it was, but my god, did that make her look like 80x more attractive, if only for a moment."

- DasThrowawayen

Us Army Dancing GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy

The Scent Of A Woman


"I spent 3 hours watching Batman today with a girl I’m kinda seeing and I could smell her the whole time and could barely focus on the film for wanting to kiss her."

"We’ve been seeing each other for months and spend more than enough time together but something about how she smelt today made it maddening"

- Melancholy_Prince

Not NPCs

"When they're respectful of the people around them; be nice to the server, the cashier, let the elderly go in the bus in front of you (in the same line of thought, offering your seat...), etc."

"I want to see you care, or at least know you're dealing with actual human beings."

"You're not in the Matrix, everybody around you is unique with feelings, experiences, fears, likes, dislikes... Treat them as such. All the people around are not NPCs."

- Maleficent-Bet-1371


"Being really talented at something."

"You can shred the guitar or sing? You know how to weld or scuba dive? You can paint really well? You know a martial art? Hell yeah. Skill is sexy."

"Having a sense of humor is also a really great thing. Even if you don't have a good skill, being witty and fun makes you enjoyable to be around and that counts for a whole hell of a lot."

"Just being hot and being barely able to function as an adult isn't great. Being a humorless mall mannequin of a human isn't what someone seeking a partner wants."

"Above all, being open and honest about what you want makes everything so much better. If your partner can't or won't communicate with you or you can't find an effective way to communicate with each other, there's no point in trying for any sort of relationship other than the most skin-deep sorts."

- Psych-adin

bass guitar GIFGiphy

Wardrobe Wonders

"Unintentional wardrobe malfunctions."

"If I can see a hint of a bra or the peek of panties it’s an instant turn on."

"Can’t be too deliberate though."

- pherring

Elation And Joy

"Reading these posts reminded me of what I enjoy when it came to a girl - like, her being genuinely happy."

"The smiles, laughs, jokes, that look in a girls eye when she is being mischievous and the smirk that comes with it, the innocent look they make when you catch them in an embarrassing situation..."

"... like mentioning needing to buy more cookies, and you turn around to find her shoving cookies in her mouth - and that pause as you two watch one another, before both bursting out in laughter."

"God, I want this feeling of elation and joy again. I haven't felt it since years before my Divorce."

- Captain_Blackbird

As for me ... yeah that whole list of things I was insecure about makes up the bulk of why my partner adores me.

He loves that I'm the "worst evil genius" he knows. He is totally into the cartoons, he sings backup when I bust out a silly song, he jumps in and joins me when I do a happy taco dance.

Oh, and the best part; he snort-laughs and he has a big goofy smile like Spongebobs eager face, too!


Authenticity, fam.

Get you some.

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