One of the coolest things about working from home is that I can literally do my job while sitting on the beach. It's a feature I take advantage of often - like this morning.
My morning beach trip ended with me looking mightily uncool, but Reddit helped me feel better by pointing out that some things just aren't doable in a cool-kid kind of way.
Having a toddler pee on you while you slow-mo fall down a sand dune because you're overloaded with bags (and currently-peeing baby) is one of them.
Reddit user Apxm asked:
"What can nobody on Earth look cool doing?"
Y'all read this, I have laundry to go do.
No Smooth Recovery
coughing GIFGiphy"Recovering after saliva sinks into your throat and makes you choke."
- NoPaleontologist6056
"Or worse, your drink accidentally starts down the wrong pipe and you cough for hours afterwards."
"And then someone asks 'Do you need a drink of water?' NO! That's what caused this!"
- narrauko
"This happened during a job interview once."
"As soon as I sat down at the desk, the manager took a drink and it did not go well. It was very awkward... and I had no idea what to do. I did not get that job 🤣"
- Violetrose806
Wind
"Trying to pick something up that's blowing away in the wind."
- FungicideEater
"One time one a windy day a dollar blew out of my hand and I chased it for a couple steps. Then I realized what I must look like and I just walked away lol"
- nobodyeversoslightly
"My grandmother broke her arm doing that."
- dirtythirty1864
Spontaneous Karate
"Unexpectedly walking into a spider's web."
- Feels2old
"Why do they always get me in the eyes??? Every freaking time!"
- Obviously_a_douche
"We call that spontaneous karate."
- NotMandinga21
"There is no better karate instructor than a spiderweb to the face."
- tartar-buildup·
Why Is This A Thing?
sitepandawhalecom GIFGiphy"Racewalking."
"Why does that even exist? And how does anyone ever decide that what they wanna do in their lives is to walk professionally?"
" 'I will walk... I will walk faster than anyone has ever walked.' "
- V02D
"I tried to watch a bit of every sport during the Japan Olympics, so I gave race walking a shot."
"It suuuuuuuuuuucked."
"The worst part of all is that they go for like 55kms or whatever it is, and it could easily be a beautiful loop through Tokyo, past different interesting scenery. But it's not. It's a 1km loop that they do 55 times."
- svenson_26
"The biggest let down of my life was watching the start of the Junior Olympics race walk."
"Tons of anticipation…the starter’s voice calling 'Racers to you mark!'…the BOOM of the gun"
"…aaaaand 8 people start walking."
- Hecho_en_Shawano
Getting Out
"Getting out of a beanbag chair."
- hmmgross
"Especially if you are pregnant."
- RainbowsarePretty
" 'Come on, let's go!' "
" 'You guys go ahead, I'll catch up...' "
- 3-DMan
"You do a tactical roll off of it to look cooler."
- jetpuffedo
Responsible Ownership
"Carrying a bag of dog sh*t."
"I literally said to a guy at the dog park not 30 minutes ago, as I was walking to the garbage can with poo bag in hand...'no one can make this cool.' "
- Marlowebabe
"My dogs drop a load & for whatever reason, want to get away from it asap."
"So not only am I cleaning up poop, I am yelling and struggling with two big labs pull me trying to run away from the pile."
- dailysunshineKO
"Having a very weak stomach and gagging and retching while picking up my dog’s steaming pile, I definitely don’t look cool."
- Rude_Imagination_981
The Chase
"I worked with someone who parked her golf cart on a hill near the green."
"I still remember seeing the look of terror on her face as she chased after the cart as it start rolling down the hill towards the pond."
"She did not look cool. Nobody could."
- cagibaxii
The Fart Table
Baby Fart GIFGiphy"Recovering on the fart table after a colonoscopy."
"They have to inflate your colon to get easier passage and a better view and all that gas has to come out. You spend a good 5-15 minutes just ripping the biggest farts (by volume) of your life."
"I'm sure they're 100% used to it because I was warned as my first one started."
- Revenge_of_the_Khaki
"I did 15 minutes on the fart table after mine."
"For those wondering, after a colonoscopy you lie on a table that tilts so your butt is slightly elevated, allowing the air that entered your colon during the procedure to rise and escape."
"A fart table."
- bbenji69996
Two Seater Trauma
"Getting out of the backseats of a two door car."
- No_Client7651
"Oh god I watched my mom do this couple months ago. I was wheezing on the ground from laughing so hard."
- moonkingoutsider
"It’s feels like you're Ace Ventura being birthed from a rhino."
- Mowgli9991
Ping
"Chasing a ping pong ball."
- HoneyAndThunder
"Most undignified sh*t in the world. Actually kinda ruined ping pong for me."
- Bony_Eared
"Trying to chase after a ping pong ball that's on the loose and you can't properly anticipate each bounce is the most humbling experience."
- CountBacula322079
"You have to flick the ball with your foot and then you catch it, that makes it look cool."
- RicardoMayo_
We're all un-cool friends here, so it's your turn to talk.
Have you done something incredibly awkward lately? Or seen something nobody could possibly make cool?
Meet us in the comments, lets talk about it.
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