
"What's an example of 'no good deed goes unpunished'?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor anactualmeatball and if you feel frustration just reading that, then you've undoubtedly experienced this exact annoyance. You could mean well, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll walk away feeling appreciated or even glad that you helped out. Human beings are complicated, as you will soon recall.
"To be neighborly..."
To be neighborly, I once gave the couple next door some fresh veggies from my garden.
Thereafter, whenever I was at work, they'd raid the garden and take whatever they wanted without asking permission.
"I'm currently in a dispute..."
I wrote a semi-popular plugin for a software package that's common in my field and released it open source ("provided as is, no guarantee, warranty, or support is promised"). Occasionally I get an email asking a question which I am happy to answer if reasonable.
I'm currently in a dispute with a very angry professor in California who somehow thinks that I need to support him set up an entire bioinformatics pipeline because someone in his lab tried to download my free plugin.
"Guy lost his ID..."
Guy lost his ID for work, I brought him directly to security to get it sorted and they fired me on the spot for allowing a trespasser entrance.
"Basically anytime..."
Basically anytime I do something extra for a customer. I give them the benefit of the doubt and take care of something that's borderline? They are always the people that file a complaint about "omg, poor service!"
My office has a mantra that no good deed goes unpunished.
"When I was in the Air Force..."
When I was in the Air Force, I separated from my wife before a short tour overseas (England for 3 years). When I came back, we pursued a divorce (I was still getting paid for having a dependent since I was still technically "married" -- it was legit). When I went in to offer my finance group my divorce decree to get the dependent off my pay stub, the computer system was down, so I had to sign in on paper (they usually have a computer system to sign you in and direct you to the right person to help) and fill out all the paperwork by hand.
Six months later, I just happened to print up a pay stub to take in to Verizon to get a military discount on my bill and noticed that the dependent pay was still coming through. I verified every month prior to that as well (I wasn't checking each stub before then, just because I wasn't worried about how much was coming in -- so it's partially my fault).
When I went back to finance to tell them about it, they told me I was "stealing money form the government" and called my commander, who proceeded to demote me after I just tested for the next rank (I was a Tech Sergeant/E-6 at the time). They shredded my test results, took my stripe, and gave me an Article 15, non-judiciary punishment.
"God forbid..."
I was an events florist. This bride lost her grandmother days before her event and asked if I would make a small vase arrangement to place next to her photo on a memorial table.
Of course. I said It would be similar to her smaller centerpieces; great. She asked how much and I said I would cover it happily.
In the review she complained that the memorial piece "which was supposed to be very special" looked too much like the centerpieces.
God forbid your free flowers be cohesive with your event you cow.
"I let a friend of a friend..."
I let a friend of a friend stay with me while she "got herself together" for a little over twice as long as originally intended after going out of my way in the extreme she walked out one evening without a word said with my grandmother's silver place settings. Appreciation indeed.
"9 years later..."
A girl transferred into my school when we were 10, and bullied the sh!t out of everyone. She'd threaten the other kids, including me, not to tell on her, otherwise she'd make us regret it, and basically had a complete reign of terror over us. After about a year, I snapped and ended up being the one to tell the teacher everything she'd done and how she was treating us, and she got expelled. A lot of the other kids thanked me for turning her in, because I don't think it would have ended if someone hadn't, and we enjoyed the rest of our school years in peace.
9 years later, despite moving to a new town and getting an entirely new group of friends, she showed up out of nowhere and screwed my boyfriend.
"One day you're a TV performer..."
Cal Poly University had an incident in the 80s that made the school paper. There was a former Mouseketeer who worked in food services and one day a student asked for help because his purchase hung in the vending machine. She opened it and give it to him, but an alarm went off. She waited for security and explained things to them, but still lost her job.
One day you're a TV performer watched by millions, later in life you're fired because of a snack.
"I gave money..."
I gave money and made light conversation with a panhandler who frequented my campus. He ended up stalking me across three different address changes.
"Neighbors needed gas..."
Neighbors needed gas to get their car started, and asked if we had any to spare. We just so happened to have a full 5 gal can. We're taught as kids to 'take only what you need, replace what you use' well, not these people. Instead of only using a gallon or so (which would have been enough to get them to the nearest gas station) they use as much as they could get out of the can (would have used all of it if it weren't for the angle of the spout). Then they tried to return us the nearly empty gas can with a "here you go".
I looked at him and said 'well you've clearly never borrowed gas before'. Bet your @ss they'll never get another drop of fuel from me ever again.
"I was driving down an alley..."
I was driving down an alley and a car was coming up in the other direction. I pulled to the side to let them pass. They go through, I start to drive forward, and a piece of rebar sticking out of the ground ends up slashing my tire.
"Before long..."
When I was at lunch in junior high, there were a few times when, after I finished eating, I'd take one or two other people's trays up to along with my own and throw away their garbage for them. I was going up to dump my tray anyway, so I figured I could do some people a favor.
Before long, any time I left my seat to go to the bathroom, buy some desert, or whatever, I'd return to find 20 trays stacked in front of my seat with a mountain of garbage on top. I eventually got tired of being taken advantage of and told off everyone at the table. I only ever took up my own tray after that.
"I was in an exam room..."
I was in an exam room with a patient getting her history, taking her vitals, etc. She had recently lost everything and had found a mass on her body (can't remember where). She was a drug addict and did anything she could get her hands on, but she said she had been trying to get clean and had been so for a week.
I think I look like the type of person that people feel comfortable spilling their guts to (bc this happens a lot), because she vented to me about everything. I spent a huge amount of extra time sitting with her and letting her talk. She was sobbing. She said hadn't eaten in days and she was shaking, so I went into the break room and made her a bowl of oatmeal with protein powder and gave her some Gatorade and hot tea with honey. I really did everything I could to help this woman meet her basic needs, even if for an hour. Eventually I had to leave so the doctor could come in, so I gently wrapped things up and asked if I could give her a hug. She said she really needed it. I felt like I really made a difference.
"Right before the doctor..."
Right before the doctor came in to see her, she asked if she could step out for a cigarette (she had been waiting awhile). So she goes out to her car and around 30min later her car is still there but she didn't come back in, so we went to check on her. She was half conscious in the passenger seat of her car. She had tried to overdose and kill herself.
This haunts me every single day. I'm not really sure why I guess.
"Lady is outside a local restaurant..."
Lady is outside a local restaurant begging for a meal. Requests a specific meal, oddly enough. I bring her the meal, she b!tches about how I didn't get her soda and a dessert as well.
Thinking back now, I'm almost 100% sure she wasn't actually needy. Just a middle class lady who for some reason was looking for a handout. I was young and naive though and didn't know the difference.
"A kid stopped to help the trucker..."
There was a truck that went off the road and hit one of those woven steel cable barriers on the side of the road.
A kid stopped to help the trucker and the truck must have tensioned the cable to the point of near breaking. As the kid was helping, the cable snapped and hit the kid in the head hard enough to throw him across a four lane road. The kid ended up dying of his head injury.
"I used to be a secretary..."
I used to be a secretary for a business on the first floor of a multi-office building. As a result, I always had idiots from other businesses bumbling in asking for directions, to use the phone, parking validation, they have a meeting with a guy at another company in the building and don't remember the name of the business - it was a circus.
One day a lady on her cell phone came in asking to borrow a pen, which happened more often than you'd think. I obliged. Most times, the person will step just outside the door, take the message they needed to, dart back in to drop the pen on my desk, and leave.
This lady had the nerve to lean on my desk and hang out for the remainder of her phone call. I nearly shouted at her to leave but her call ended just in time.
"I offered to help a colleague..."
I offered to help a colleague with one aspect of their project and ended up having the entire project shirked onto me.
"And the list goes on."
Construction is my line of work. I own my own cabinet installation company and sub contract to cabinet makers.
So in my line of work I learned that if the supplier, who is in charge of the project we do, asks a favor then that « favor » ends up being part of the job for no extra money.
I'm asked to go back on an install to put an extra piece for just that one time? Well that extra piece is now part of my job at no extra cost.
I'm asked to go back and service a kitchen I did the week before and if I agree then it's also part of my job.
Site super wants more guys on the job? For the longest time I thought it was my problem when it absolutely isn't
And the list goes on.
I'm a super nice guy at heart but I learned to be a d!ck. And I get what I want now and charge extra if I want too. Being a nice guy os basically telling everyone else they can step on mu back. Every favor I did in the past ended up costing me money while the supplier or site super abused it. It sucks but that's the way it goes. We wondered why the mean guys got what they wanted. Doing it ow shows me exactly why.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Work/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
HAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Some People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
School Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
Living in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...