In the middle of the night...
The night holds so many secrets. And the darkness can be scary. But boy if I don't live for it. I have been a night person for decades. And the things I have seen would leave every person I know shooketh. And I know I'm not alone. So many people who dwell in the wee hours have all seen things that can be unable to explain. Let's start a group chat.Redditor u/af**knugget wanted all of us who are awake at all hours of the darkness to unite and discuss by asking... [Serious] Night owls of Reddit, what was the creepiest/most terrifying thing you've experienced staying up late at night?
I have been scared, and left breathless more times than I can count after sundown. I love the moon but sometimes the witching hours can be nerve-wracking. That's why all the serial killer movies have them killing at night under the darkness. So how can we trust the night?
I Hate Gordongordon ramsey GIFGiphy
I left my laptop on and went into my bedroom to try and sleep. About 2 hours later I started hearing someone talking in the living room (next to my bedroom) and started freaking the hell out thinking someone broke in and was going to murder me.
Creeped out of my room to realize the video I had been watching unpaused itself and was playing again. It wasn't an intruder, just Gordon Ramsay screaming at someone on Hell's Kitchen.
When I was little, we used to go to the countryside where my great-grandma lived. She was 101 years old and survived two Balkan wars and two world wars, her husband was in captivity in WWI and fighting for Tito's partisans in WWII, along with my grandpa. Her other son ended up in Mauthausen concentration camp.
So, the house was old and cheeky. The only room that was heated in winter was the one my great-grandma was in, so my parents would made me sleep in the same room with her, while they were sleeping in the freezer of a bedroom.
It wasn't the squealing of the house, or the strange rhythm of an old clock, or the trains that passed by, or wild animals that talked throughout the night that kept me awake, but my great-grandma sleepwalking and talking through the night. She would sit up in her bad and have full conversations with long-lost friends. She would call for them or asked them for the directions, or tell them she missed them so much. But the worst was wailing for killed or mutilated ones. She would say things like "oh, look what they did to your beautiful eyes" or "why didn't you stay hidden? Where could I find a doctor to stitch your stomach up?"
I should have been more vocal about my great-grandma and claw my way in that cold room, in hindsight.
When I was Homeless...
One of the first nights I was homeless, I walked a distance along the bike trail that circles the lake in Madison Wisconsin to sleep. Woke up for no immediately obvious reason at what must have been a very late hour, as the sleep began to dissipate I realized I was lying down looking at a sideways view of someone crouched motionless on approach about eight feet away.
I kept from opening my eyes completely and tried to seem to be still sleeping. The stranger began to slowly take another step toward me. I made a deliberate cough/might-be-waking-up noise and they retreated quickly. Carried a knife for several years after this.
I was up into the wee hours, trying to get past a level in Dishonored without being seen by any bad guys. Suddenly there is a flash of light across my screen and then a lot of noise at the front door. It's 3 AM. I go stock-still for about 2 minutes, trying to remember where the bat is, and if I locked the door.
I creep slowly to the bat, and then to the door. Check the peep hole, but I see nothing.
Look out for a few minutes, then I get the courage up to open the door and turn on the light (bat still in hand.) There is a dark spot on the porch. And that was the night I learned the the milk is delivered at 3 AM, with a bunch of ice to keep is fresh, and by a dude wearing a headlamp. The last part I learned when I remembered that we have a blink camera covering the front door.
Silent HillScared Oh No GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
Staying up late playing Silent Hill: The Room. I was in the hospital part which is pretty tense by itself, its close to midnight and out of the corner of my eye I see a woman in a flowing white gown crossing the yard.
I just about crapped myself.
It was my neighbor going home after visiting my landlord. But good lord did I almost crap myself.
See, now I'm reaching for a Bible to pray. And a phone to call my therapist and some vodka. Those are moments I'd be writing about as well. Try to sleep before 3AM...
The Orbsglowing mr burns GIFGiphy
Two glowing orbs floating at the edge of the woods. Nothing was holding them up. They were legit just floating in mid-air. No idea what it was, didn't stick around to find out.
Edit: some are saying that it was an animal, but think of it more like a light bulb. It gave enough light that I could see in a 2 foot radius in all directions. I could see the ground behind it.
Edit edit: being that it was near kind of a marshy area, I think it might have actually been a Will o the wisp light. Still freaky tho.
I was up at like 1 am, and I was on my phone. All of a sudden I hear this sudden boom from outside. It wasn't like explosive loud, but loud enough to be heard by those with good hearing. Afterwards, I could hear this very quiet rumble, like something was coming. In my mind I was going "That's an earthquake". Sure enough, two seconds later, the rumble got louder and everything started to shake. Instinct came in, and I ran downstairs.
On my phone, everyone was writing "Did you guys feel the earthquake?"
We had another earthquake happen a few weeks later, but I had just fallen asleep, but I had woken up right when it was happening. My instinct kicked in, and I just darted outside my bedroom and ran down like 8 flights of stairs. My house is built like a tower, and I live at the top of it. In my mind, my instinct told me "Get to more stable ground. Run downstairs".
This was several years back when I lived out in the country. It was maybe 3am and out of nowhere I had this urge to look out the front bay window onto the porch. Sitting there was a coyote already looking into the window as if it knew I was going to look out. It locked eyes with me for a couple of seconds and then bolted into the woods. I still get chills thinking about it.
Under the Bed
So, I was about to go to bed. I think it was around 2:00 AM. I was all in my covers, and I had just put my phone on my nightstand after watching some YouTube. I laid awake for maybe 10 minutes, in the dark. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in my room, and dart under my bed. Whatever it was, it was small.
I know it went under my bed because as it did, I felt a kick of sorts from under me. Some kind of force came from under the bed, strong enough to feel it through a mattress and various other layers. It was so bizarre. I couldn't sleep for an hour after that.
"you, are not, alone"Work Omg GIF by The Drew Barrymore ShowGiphy
Once in my teens, i had a dozen tabs open on my laptop and just chilling around 2 am in the dark in the living room. Suddenly i hear a low, raspy, electronic voice repeating: "you, are not, alone". Honestly almost had a heart attack until i realized, after a moment of freaked out searching, that i had my headphones on and a YouTube video i had in another tab had ended and in it, the new Superman trailer was playing.
I wish I could fall asleep in daylight. I can't. It would be so peaceful, I assume. I wish I could erase some of the jump in the night moments of my life but, alas. We should all get together and make "In the Night" anthology horror stories. Paging Ryan Murphy...
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Sometimes, we truly never know how lucky we are.
Particularly when we might be disappointed to have missed out on something, only to learn after the fact that it was something of a miracle we did.
As the saying goes, we "dodged a bullet".
This could be for something trivial, like being late for a concert owing to traffic, only to find out it was a real stinker, or having to cancel a trip, only to discover how terrible the weather was the whole time you would have been there.
In other cases, the bullet you dodged may have been an actual life or death situation.
"What was the biggest bullet you dodged?"
"My dad was a truck driver in the oilfield in Canada."
"He worked a lot of long hours and every single day."
"So on weekends he would bring me and my younger brother on some of his jobs."
"We were on location and my little brother, 3 yrs, and me, 10 yrs, were waiting for him playing in cab of truck."
"My little brother opened the passenger door and my little arms closed it."
"Jobs done, we start our trek home going about 35 km/hr and the door flies open and I get sucked out of truck."
"I remember doing about 10 back flips as I tumbled out."
"Hitting the ground on my back a few times and rolling my way to a stop."
"I stood up before the truck was even stopped in absolute shock."
"Next thing I see my dad looking for me and he burst into tears."
"First time I ever seen him cry."
"I’m 33 now and he still won’t talk to me about it."
"Luckily the rig was in a farmers field."
"So when we were leaving I landed on softer dirt."
"Not a single scratch on me."
"Dad thought he ran over me with trailer."
"Don’t think we ever went to work with dad again."
"I work for the company now."- Paydayson
"Years ago I lived in Vancouver and liked to go for long walks, beautiful city to do so."
"I was heading to a friends first to drop something off and and cut through a neighborhood with a lot of south east asian immigrants, the ones I got to talk to were mostly from Vietnam."
"I was aware of a van behind me but it was mid day and there were people out, so it was only a passing thought."
"A lady was working in her garden and as I approached her house she started to look behind me."
"Then she came out onto the side walk and started talking to me in her native language."
"I understood none of it but her body language was agitated."
"She kept gesturing to me to come with her up their walkway."
"As I looked behind me I see three men getting out of the van, which is now parked just behind me."
"By this point the woman has a good grip on my arm and and has me dragged almost to her porch."
"She kept talking to me and pointing to stuff in her garden and i just listened, nodded, and kept a good eye on the men and van."
"I don't remember how long we were there but the men finally left."
"Both myself and the woman let out huge sighs of relief."
"She then patted me on the arm, said something, and then went back to her gardening."
"I booted it to my friends house."
"On the news the next day was the story of a woman who was kidnapped."
"The victim was grabbed on the next street over from the woman's house, not long after my encounter with her, by 5 men in a van."
"The men were distinctive and the description of the men and van fit the ones I had see."
"That woman saved me from something horrible and I am forever thankful."- grainia99
Near Fatal Illness
:A few years ago I had pneumonia, but my whole family insisted that it was just post nasal drip, which runs in the family."
"After a week or two I woke up in the middle of the night when I couldn't feel my arm."
"After I got to the ER the doctor said that it was the worst he'd ever seen and he was surprised I wasn't dead."
"I had 3 lbs of mucus cut out of my lungs and another two weeks in the hospital siphoning out the rest."
"For three months afterwards I could barely walk half a mile without starting to pass out and I still can't run for more than 200-300 yards without collapsing."- Deadthrow742
Near Fatal Collision
"Around 30,000 pounds."
"I was driving with my wife in town one snowy evening and we had pulled up to a stop light."
"I happened to glance up at the rear view mirror and saw a city bus heading towards us."
"And rotating sideways."
"I hit the gas and pulled ahead into the intersection and left into the turning lane, and less than a second later, the bus went sliding through right where our car was."
"It came to a stop on the other side of the intersection and fortunately didn't hit anything, but one second or two feet difference and we would've had some nice spinal injuries."- LackingUtility
Barely Safe Landing
"Many years ago, my flight had just landed at Chicago O'hare and the plane was taxiing when the pilot suddenly slammed on the brakes."
"People were literally thrown forward against the seat in front of them."
"A few seconds later, another plane, taking off I think, went screaming by right in front of us."
"No explanation was given, though our imaginations provided a lot of gory details."- khendron
Timing Is everything
"Not changing jobs in early 2020."
"Would have been a short lived promotion after early restructuring and layoffs."- LegallyBodacious
We all find ourselves wondering "what if" regarding certain choices we've made in our lives.
It's never helpful to look back with regret.
Instead, one should only be grateful for avoiding the many wrong turns our lives could have easily taken.
Teachers are often regarded as heroes.
Though they might not possess superpowers, or put their lives in danger on an ongoing basis, teachers have a way of influencing the lives of others in ways they can never imagine.
Of course, there are teachers who do literally save lives.
As they are the teachers who help students who are being abused at home out of toxic and dangerous situations.
Doing so without ever being explicitly told, but rather by noticing their students behavior, or reading between the lines in their work.
"Teachers of reddit, what are some signs that a student is being abused or lives in a toxic environment?"
Flinching At The Slightest Moment
"It's been a few years, but I had an incident/situation that stuck with me."
"My students were working on something, probably solving density equations, and one guy came up to ask for help."
"I was standing near my whiteboard but had left my favorite Expo marker on the cart that held my projector/laptop."
"So I reached around him to grab the marker and show him on the board how to figure out the problem."
"Hey, if one kid is struggling with a problem, there's usually several more that haven't asked."
"Anyway, when I reached, he flinched."
"Arms over his head."
"Eyes tight shut."
"As if he just knew I was going to hurt him."
"I kept him after class and we talked."
"Lots of tears, not just his."
"He showed me bruises on his back."
"I notified my principal that I'd need someone to cover my next class, and called DCS, what most states call CPS."
"He was placed in a foster home and his father was arrested."
"He missed a few days and came back."
"He wasn't instantly better, which would make for a better story, but by the end of the school year, I could see he was a little more confident, a little happier."
"This was around 10 years ago. I often wonder what happened to him."- AZScienceTeacher
Not So Subtle "Ticks"
"I developed a 'tick'."
"For years, I would rip out all my eyebrows and eyelashes."
"Half the time I didn’t realize that I was doing it, because I lived with my abuser and was so stressed out and terrified ALL the time."
"When I was 17, I finally moved in with a friend to get away from them, and people started telling me they 'knew all along' that something was wrong, but no one ever said anything."
"No one ever took action, even when I tried to come forward on multiple occasions."
"I’m begging you guys- if you see something, say something."- aliveanewbeginagain
"From my experience teaching middle schoolers for the last decade."
"They smell, particularly of cigarette smoke, weed, or just general, unbearable, BO."
"They either NEVER miss a day, when it’s clear they should because they’re obviously sick, or they miss school at least 2 times a week, because their parents can’t be bothered to get them there."
"They either avoid adults like the plague, will literally run away from any authority figure, or are very clingy to adults."
"And on the more extreme end are things like wetting themselves, sign of sexual abuse, and showing a severe lack of empathy."- coreythebuckeye
Knowing And Saying Things Children Shouldn't...
"Physical abuse think of kids who get normal bumps and scrapes."
"Then think of areas that would be difficult."
"Inner arms and legs, torso, back etc."
"Also if you ask a child 'oh how did you get that bruise, it looks sore' usually they'll tell you some huge story about how they were playing some game with their siblings, and they tried to do x and then fell and did this etc."
"Abused children will try to shut down the conversation."
"Say its not sore, doesn't hurt, not that bad, was an accident."
"You won't find out how it happened."
"Are they regressing in toileting, night time or day time wetting etc."
"Do they have an aversion to a place, person or certain day."
"Perhaps on Tuesdays they go to a friends house so they only display this behavior sometimes."
"As parents do they suddenly hate a place they used to love."
"Abusers will try to get children to trust them."
"To want to be praised by them."
"Sometimes that's a 'you're so mature for your age shall we go do x together that's your favourite right' now x is tarnished."
"As a parent you're wondering why they don't want to do this with you."
"Sleeping patterns may change."
"Especially if they don't feel safe at all times when they should have a place they can relax."
"Children may become hypersexualised."
"Know more than you'd expect for their age."
"Children can become very controlling of their bodies."
"Not wanting touched, assisted with changing, to wear certain clothes."
"Please early on ensure children know boundaries and if someone touches them or asks them to watch an area usually covered by underwear to tell a trusted adult."
"Not all abuse is a child being physically touched."
"Not all abuse is done by adults, it can be older children and teenagers."
"I've worked in nurseries, after school clubs, schools, summer camps, I've been a sports coach, a babysitter, a private tutor, a teaching assistant in schools."
"I've spent days with social work and police and now work in healthcare."
"You'll spot signs everywhere."
"You may be a member of the public walking in a store and see something that worries you."
"As many people are saying in the comments you might be the trusted friend hearing about a child in potential risk."
"Know how to report concerns, who you tell and how you escalate something."
"Know how to listen to a child without prompting and how to record the conversation on paper incase your statement is used to build a case."
"Also know reporting concerns doesn't mean someone will immediately be arrested on your thoughts."
"A case has to be investigated, social work/ child protective services and police will conduct joint investigations to determine if there is enough evidence to proceed."- koig1314
"If a student doesn't care about content and doesn't seem happy about getting a good grade, just relieved."
"I've seen students almost breakdown when earning a poor grade on an assessment knowing the pending verbal/psychological abuse coming."
"One student, living with his father and 6 hours from his mother, was sworn at and told he wouldn't see his mother for Christmas because he had a C."
"The kid cried in my classroom after school and poured his heart out about not having seen his mom for 3 months."
"Berating a child and withholding seeing his other parent for a grade?"
"High expectations are great."
"High expectations without support, however, in this case, emotional. put undue stress on students, resulting in a cycle of anxiety that can permeate their lives."- chewbaccalaureate
Teacher or not, if you notice something off with someone you know, always say something.
Sometimes, even just knowing there is someone willing to listen can provide more help than you can possibly imagine.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.
Ever think about how even the smallest of actions can have significant consequences in life?
This notion of unpredicable consequences is typically known as the Butterfly Effect, which is defined as causing a non-linear impact on complex systems.
Strangers online shared their examples of the Butterfly Effect when Redditor SidneyRL asked:
"What's the craziest butterfly effect that happened to you because of a small decision you made?"
These Redditors wouldn't be here today were it not for the Butterfly Effect.
It Started With A Potty Decision
"Decided I would rather use my bathroom than a portapotty. Found my wife cheating, she attempted suicide, I moved multiple states away. In the 7 years since I have made nothing but positive changes and went from $18/hour laborer to a well respected person in my profession making 6 figures. I'd probably still be working that dead-end job."
"Aside from that, without recounting all the details; I went to see a doctor about a splinter from chopping firewood, 6 months later they removed most of my kidney with Renal Cell Carcinoma. Without the splinter I'd likely be dead from kidney cancer."
What Would've Been A Fatal Appointment Date
"I had to call my heart surgeon to give him my new insurance #s (I had only just gotten them because the person who had them had the flu and was not getting back to me) as soon as I got my numbers, I called surgeon - the receptionist said, 'oh, hey, we just had a cancelation for this Friday, do you want it?' Of course I wanted to get it over and not wait another month. decided to take the open heart surgery cancelation appointment (a month before my actual appointment), and well, surgeon said that thank goodness I did because once he got a look inside, he realized I would not have survived to the original appointment date."
"So, if the insurance lady didn't have the flu, I would have gotten those numbers a lot sooner, and never gotten the offer to have the surgery when I did."
"Someone else's flu saved my life."
Broken Guitar Strings
"So a few years back, I lived in Nice (South of France) for a while. As a musician I would make a bit of extra cash busking, and one day, I figured I'd go and busk at the promenade 'd'anglais by the sea. It's usually packed, and it just a generally pleasant place to be. I set up, played a couple of songs and was doing pretty well and making a decent amount of money. Then suddenly not one, but two of my guitar strings snapped (I even remember I was playing 'The Scientist' at the time)."
"I was massively gutted and decided to cut my losses early. I stormed off home (by the station) in a bit of a sulk at having to re-string my guitar and cutting short what was essentially one of my most productive days of busking since moving there. Literally one hour later, my phone starts to blow the f**k up with family and friends freaking out and asking if I was at the promenade."
"It was Bastille Day, 2016. The truck drove into the same crowd I was playing to, killing 86 people, including my at-the-time gf's uncle. I had two other friends who were amongst the 458 injured. I moved home the next month because it was too much, and haven't been back since."
"It's hard to explain, sometimes I think I was super lucky, sometimes I just kind of cry and wonder why I was lucky and others weren't. It's surreal, and despite what people think... it's a truly horrible feeling."
"Edit: I'm overwhelmed by the support of people. I will be getting therapy and hopefully in time I'll be able to return to Nice as it was one of my favourite places on earth. Take care of yourselves and if you've been through something similar, it looks like help is out there. Thank you all"
"I spilled my coffee. I work in a bank and you learn never to do that, all the papers and files. You also learn to place it far enough away so it doesn't fill out anything if it does spill. I worked in finance for many years. It was 8: 43 in the morning and I figured I had enough time to get downstairs and get another cup and come back up before 9:00. So I went to the elevator bank. Waited for the elevator to come, It took a long time. Got in the elevator went down to the ground floor. I had my hand on the door leading outside to Liberty Street just as the first plane hit the first World Trade Center building on 9/11."
Love found a way thanks to these inconsequential circumstances.
Endings And New Beginnings
"Made a last minute decision to go to a friend's divorce party and met my wife."
"I decided to invite my chem lab partner to lunch on the first day of college, just to be friendly and try to make more than 1 friend at school. We met up with the only other friend I'd made at school so far. He thought my lab partner was cute, invited himself to hang out with her, and then fell in love with her roommate instead. He ended up married to the roommate - they've been together for 22 years and have 2 children."
"In high school I took an intermediate biology course. I had never done biology before but was good at science generally so I thought the intermediate course would be a good fit."
"My science teacher of a couple year previous happened to walk into my class to talk to the biology teacher and she spotted me in the class."
"She asked me what grades I had got the previous year. I told her and she nodded and left. A minute later she came back in and asked me to gather my belongings and leave the class. I was pretty sure I was in trouble for something I couldn’t recall."
"She led me to another classroom and sat me down on an empty chair. Then she just started teaching. Turns out that she was running the advanced class that year and just decided to steal me as a student."
"I went on the take biology at undergrad level, and then a masters. I ended up doing a PhD in immunology and now work as an advisor for Pharma companies."
"It gets better though. I decided I wanted to do my masters in London, and met a girl on the way. We are now 10 years in and own a house together."
"All that because that teacher happened to look in my direction."
The Ultimate Prize
"Watched ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ and got so annoyed at the candidates not knowing a simple question about Katy Perry, that I applied. Got in. Got to play. Won a lot of money. Booked a holiday to a dream destination with that money. Met my husband there. We now have a 1 year old son :)"
You never truly know what's around the corner. Like, a family member you never knew existed.
"I had to renew the sticker on my license plate a couple of years ago and really didn't feel like sitting in the waiting room by myself forever so I told my mom I'd take her out to dinner after if she came with me.. The guy working at the counter turned out to be my moms long lost biological brother. If she hadn't come with me I would have never known."
"My husband- He found out after 18 years that his moms side of the family was Spanish, not Mexican. He found this interesting and changed his country to 'Spain' on MySpace instead the US where he really was. Meanwhile in Australia, I was helping my friend find Spanish people to add as a friend as she was learning the language. I came across my now husband and decided to send him a friend request as well. We got along really well and met in person after 3 years. Have been together 11 years, married for 7. If he didn’t change his country to Spain (and only for a day or so) we’d never know each other existed."
Influential Reading Choice
"When I was in 8th grade (13 years old) I had a really long bus ride home so would pass the time by reading. One day I faced the very serious situation of nothing to read and a minute to grab something in the library, and for whatever reason I grabbed a book on astronomy. That book was amazing and grabbed me like nothing else had before. I remember being excited to realize every astronomer on Earth was 13 years old once too, and that was a career you could actually do, even if you were from Pittsburgh."
"Anyway, today I am a professional astronomer who studies gigantic space explosions for a living. There was a lot of work to get from that moment to this one, but I’m always grateful that I picked up that library book!"
When the smallest of changes lead to unpredictable and major consequences in life, it makes one wonder if there are such things as trivial acts.
The world just got more confusing.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.
Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.
It's a part of the school cycle.
Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.
Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.
I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.
So they asked:
"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?
My go to was always killing off family members.
My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.
Mr. GBaby Boomers Ok GIF by OriginalsGiphy
“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”
"9th graders are wild."
In a What?!
"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."
"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."
"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"
What about your Safari?Work Marketing GIF by lamarcamcGiphy
"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."
Know the details of your lies kids.
Burgers next timeSeason 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."
"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"
"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"
"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."
"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."
"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."
"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."
You're ExcusedTwo Thumbs Up GIF by TV LandGiphy
"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."
"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"
Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.
Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.