There is so much history we are never told.
Historical facts are vital.
And we're talking ALL of the facts.
So much truth and just good old fashion fun and drama is just left out.
Why do I keep finding myself saying...
"Well that is new information."
Redditor ReflectGaming wanted to discuss parts of history that may shock.
"Whats an NSFW fact about history that we don't get to hear too often?"
Well, things are about to get scandalous.
This is an NC-17 piece... just FYI!
Wars
"Roman troops where provided cow intestines condoms, as STD epidemics could decide the fate of entire wars."
ExistentialClutter
“The Final Member”
"There is a legal penis size in Iceland. It’s an old law from the Middle Ages after a woman was married off to a man and on her wedding night was so disappointed with how small his penis was that she took him back to the church to have an annulment. Because of her a law was made that a man must be at least three inches to marry."
"There is a wonderful documentary called 'The Final Member' in which this is an actual problem."
EmperorJJ
Supply and Demand
"In ancient Egypt, soldiers proved their battle prowess by presenting the severed penises of their slaughtered enemies. Traditionally, severed hands were presented, but in 1182 B.C. Libyans, and other allies invaded Egypt and were defeated by the army of Ramesses III, and Ramesses suspected that some soldiers were claiming extra credit by presenting the hands of women as well as the male soldiers. So he demanded penises instead. His victory inscriptions mention 12,535 foreskins and hands, and has images of the piles of the body parts at the Medinet Habu mortuary temple."
WillShakeSpear1
Priorities
Sexy Cbs GIF by Paramount+Giphy"The original sex toy was created almost 1500 years before the wheel."
just-a-humanoid
That makes sense. See we are more open to sex talk than we think.
For Nothing
gross dumb and dumber GIFGiphy"There was a guy that tried to prove that yellow fever wasn't contagious and so he would pour the infected vomit into his freshly cut opened would, pouring it into his eyes, and drinking it."
"And soaking into a bath of it. And smearing his body with blood, pee, and spit. He was fine because yellow fever isn't spread through direct contact, it's spread through mosquitoes. So he did all that for nothing. His name was Stubbins Ffirth look it up."
UnknownDaemon42
FOOLS!
"In 1488 an Italian noblewoman Catarina Sforza-Riario locked herself in a castle to save herself from her enemies. Her enemies managed to capture her children and threatened to kill them if she wouldn't surrender. She climbed on ramparts, lifted her skirt to expose herself and shouted 'Fools! Don't you see that I can make myself more children?'"
Nerevanin
In Space
"Astronomer here! In 1992, two astronauts did not disclose they were married to NASA until it was too late to replace one of them and thus became the first married couple in space. While the two astronauts in question are not the kiss and tell types, most people assume this means space sex has happened (obviously you don’t have to be married to try it, but it does make it harder to figure out the couples). NASA’s official stance is that it hasn’t, but I’m not sure people really believe them."
Andromeda321
LOLOLOL
Christine Baranski Thinking GIF by Pretty DudesGiphy"The CIA once considered sending the Soviets condoms that were large labeled “small” to convince them that the US was well endowed."
bkai76
"Art"
"In colonial America, a guy was arrested and charged because he drew a lewd image of his wife in the snow. Puritans didn’t appreciate the art."
lethalgender
Lupercalia
"From the 13th to the 15th of February the Romans celebrated Lupercalia (Roman precursor of Valentine's day), which was a festival of love and fertility. Priests would sacrifice a goat and then cut the goat skin into pieces. Part of this they would wear on their heads, and other parts were cut into thongs. The men would then run around the city of Rome naked, hitting as many women with these thongs as they possibly could (being hit would help with pregnancy or becoming pregnant). So depending on what they wanted, the women would either deliberately stand in the way of the men, or try to run away while pretty much everyone was naked."
"In another part of the festivities men would draw names of women from a jar and the goal was that they'd stay together for the duration of the festival. This would often result in a lot of... you know... intercourse, and sometimes people actually fell in love and got married after they met during Lupercalia."
Doorbelldoor
Sorcery
"Witches were more often mutilated than actually burned."
thelesserdaughter
"Fun fact: None of the witches at Salem were burned at the stake. All were hanged and one man was crushed with stones."
KahlPono
"Burning was more of a European thing. Hangings were all the rage here in the colonies."
LeoPlathasbeentaken
Foucault
"French modern philospher Michel Foucault, in addition to studying crime and deviance in a Criminology sense, also applied his theories on punishment to his fascination with BDSM, having also written a number of kink-based works. He eventually moved to San Francisco and partook in gay bathhouses (notorious for casual sex). He eventually caught HIV and some have speculated (it may be written somewhere?) that he purposely contracted it as some sort of poetic social commentary."
"Oddly, I learned this stuff while getting my Administration of Justice major and studying Corrections, lol."
ShireGray
Female Serial Killer
"The deadliest female serial killer in US history had murdered 35 people with an axe by the time she was 18 years old."
Skulldetta
"Clementine Barnabet, member of a cult called the Church of Sacrifice. Preferred murdering several family members at once, often decapitating them. Not so fun fact: She was out of prison before she was 30 and never seen again. I'd rather not know what her actual body count was."
Skulldetta
History is saucy. Oh my...
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.
People Who Accidentally Sent A Family Member A Nude Picture Describe The Aftermath
Why in this day and age are people still taking nudie pics without triple-checking the recipient?
Why take the gamble?
And half of the time we hit send, mistakes get made.
One minute you're feeling sexy, the next minute grandpa is having a stroke.
Be careful.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
People Share The Things They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life
There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.
But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.
Redditor Curious-2577 asked:
"What's something you learned 'embarrassingly late' in life?"
Addictive Personality
"My sister was in her fifties when she found out the meaning of, 'You have an addictive personality.'"
"She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality."
"We laughed hysterically when we talked about this (in a very sad way)."
- casper02127
Horse Toes
"I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a 'horseshoe' and the toes were tucked inside."
"How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?"
"I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked, 'It must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!'"
"Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes."
- BronNatsPulisic
Referencing Flowers
"The saying is, in fact, 'Nip it in the bud' and not 'Nip it in the butt.'"
- too_sharp
Pastures New
"A few months ago, two of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time."
"I kept reading/hearing the sentence, 'They’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving, and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to, like, 'Pastures New.'"
"I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company."
"I was in the car with one of the two people who were leaving and said, 'So where is it that you and X are going to be working? Is it...’"
"And just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘Pastures New,' they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that."
"I think at that moment, I realized I was stupid and didn’t mention it again."
- WorriedSoft
Mario Brothers
"I think I was in college when I realized that Mario and Luigi are plumbers. I thought they just went and up down these tubes just because that was the theme of the game."
- dontbemystalker
Bonsai Trees
"That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai."
- ixent
Houston, We Have a Problem
"Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to."
- vienna_versailles
Cowboy Beans
"I learned that pork and beans are not called 'cowboy beans.' I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the 'cowboy beans.'"
"We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while, I picked up a pork and beans can with a picture and said, 'See, they look just like this!'"
"He said, 'You mean pork and beans?'"
"Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them."
"The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day."
- whyunoletmepost
The Pulitzer
"Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a 'Pullet Surprise.'"
- BendyBrains
Rum and Coke
"Not too late in life, but I thought my parents were making 'Roman Cokes' until I went to college."
"Which, I think is a much better name for the drink (Rum and Coke) anyway."
- Th3seViolentDelights
Oh No, Not Acoma!
"That a coma was 'A' coma. Until I was probably 19 or so, I thought it was 'acoma.'"
"I thought you fell into acoma."
- FightWithBrickWalls
It Must Have Been a One-Way Trip
"My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
- artemus_who
Multitasking
"I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases… when I was a kid, I thought was a special hospital for people who had two or more different diseases at the same time."
- Baffhy_Duck
Ore-Ida Fries
"Moving cross-country, driving east to west, and crossing from Idaho to Oregon, I noticed huge fields with signs for the Ore-Ida Potato company."
"So I was in my early 20s when I figured out Ore-Ida wasn’t just a brand name but was because their potatoes came from Oregon and Idaho."
- Deadhawk142
Kid Logic
"When I was really young, my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years."
- Presitigious_Sweet_50
Some of these really had us laughing as we realized the revelations some of these Redditors were having.
But when we're really honest with ourselves, we probably didn't figure out some of these until later, too.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.