New Fathers Reveal The Stupidest Things They Did While Their Wife Was Pregnant[rebelmouse-image 18353047 is_animated_gif=
Most dads have experienced that moment when they have done something wrong when their wife was pregnant. These dads may not have known that their actions would set off their pregnant wife, but some of them should have thought a little harder about their decisions.
Fathers, what are some dumb things you have done while your wife was pregnant?
Future dads, take note!
Sometimes the jokes land in the wrong place[rebelmouse-image 18347715 is_animated_gif=
I think I was about 8 months pregnant and after many atemps at rolling over in bed I finally managed it.
My husband laughs to himself and announces "thar she rolls."
That's just rude![rebelmouse-image 18353048 is_animated_gif=
Apparently eating fried chicken while your wife is giving birth is frowned upon...I hadn't eaten in like 24 hours, and I am not squeamish. Doctor was not impressed, so I threw it out promptly. Baby is born, all checks done, and the wife is doing good....she turns to me and says, you should go get some more chicken, I know you are still hungry. One of the many reasons I love that woman.
Laughing but crying[rebelmouse-image 18353049 is_animated_gif=
I asked my husband to get me some cocoa butter for my stretch marks.
An hour later he calls me and says, "I've looked in the candy section AND the dairy section. I cannot find the cocoa butter!" He sounded frustrated and tired, but I just did this ugly laugh cry thing.
I explained to him, between sons of laughter, that it was a LOTION. I was laughing because it was so funny, and crying because my stomach was itching like crazy and I needed relief.
False alarm![rebelmouse-image 18353050 is_animated_gif=
My dad had just got a new car when my mum was due to have me and he turned on the heated seats while she was sitting in the passenger seat. She thought her water had broke.
Wrong question[rebelmouse-image 18353052 is_animated_gif=
When my parents arrived at the hospital to give birth to me, the first thing my dad asked the nurse was "where's the cafeteria?"
How is that even considered a good idea?[rebelmouse-image 18353053 is_animated_gif=
I was working out like crazy and dropped to 159lbs. My 8 month pregnant wife had just weighed in at 160lbs. I said "hey, you weigh more than me!"
Go directly to doghouse. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200..
It's always your fault[rebelmouse-image 18353054 is_animated_gif=
When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, she instructed me not to indulge her crazy needs. She warned me that she might have some weird cravings, but I was not to submit.
Couple of weeks into pregnancy, my wife told me she wants some olives. She could really have some olives. Not thinking twice, I grabbed a full jar (16ish oz) of olives and gave it to her. We continued merrily watching some movie and life was simple. About an hour later, my movie watching experience is being promptly ruined by my lovely wife projectile vomit what seemed to be a bucket load of half ingested olives across our bedroom. Of course, it was all my fault for letting her do that to herself.
excuse me!?[rebelmouse-image 18353057 is_animated_gif=
My water broke at about 3am but I'm not one to freak out or rush so I let my husband sleep until 6am before I woke him up and told him we needed to get ready to go to the hospital . It was our first and it was 10 days early so we were not expecting it. His exact words were "Are you serious? Okay, I know this is bad timing, but can you cut my hair first?"
Sometimes things change...[rebelmouse-image 18353058 is_animated_gif=
My wife loves fried green beans pregnant or not. But when she was pregnant with our second child I fried 2 whole bags of them as our entire dinner. Later in the evening, we were taking a shower together and she proceeded to throw up fried green beans all over me...twice. I'm still gunshy around her in the shower.
Funny, but maybe a little harsh on her[rebelmouse-image 18353059 is_animated_gif=
My dad switched to buying Prego pasta sauce when my mom was pregnant and thought it was hilarious
When you go out on the wrong night[rebelmouse-image 18353060 is_animated_gif=
Went out to a happy hour with buddies on a random Tuesday night(Wife approved btw). The hour turned into several hours. Get home around 12:30, wife wakes me up at 4:30 saying her water broke. I actually didn't believe her, as her due date was a good 2-3 weeks out. I stared at the wet spot in the bed for quite a bit not wanting to believe what was happening. What a hangover in the hospital I felt like absolute shit and everyone could tell. The bright lights and noise were helping a lot. One of the nurses even commented on how excited I looked(I was a complete zombie). That all changed once my daughter was born. What a surreal feeling that was. I cried really hard, it was weird. I had no inclination at all that was going to happen. What a roller coaster of feelings that day had in store for me.
A baby and a pizza[rebelmouse-image 18353061 is_animated_gif=
When my mother was giving birth to me my father ordered a pizza. And after I was born my mom was laying in the bed exhausted and she looks at my dad who with a full mouth asks her if she'd like a slice. She didn't.
You will never live that down[rebelmouse-image 18353062 is_animated_gif=
True story.... I had worked 12 hour shifts for three days in a row. Night shift none the less.
I get home from work at 6:30 in the morning, take the daughter to school. Come home lie down in bed, my wife turns to me and says..."I think today might be the day" I go to sleep for maybe ten to twenty minutes. She says OMG my water broke. I tell her to get out of the bed so it isn't like totally wet.
On the way to the hospital, remember I had just worked three twelve hour shifts. I turn to my wife and say "Do you mind if I stop at McDonalds?"
Suffice it to say I got a Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin.
But, I still hear about it regularly!
Was he the pregnant one though?[rebelmouse-image 18353063 is_animated_gif=
When my mom was pregnant with me, her water broke at around 2 AM. She woke up my dad saying he had to take her to the hospital. He then groaned, rolled out of bed, they went downstairs, and he began making himself a sandwich saying "the baby isnt popping out for another 12 or so hours, relax". I was the 3rd child, so I guess he had a good idea about how long these things take.
Really bad timing dad[rebelmouse-image 18345517 is_animated_gif=
Don't make any plans in the 3rd trimester.
Friend of mine flew out to Switzerland to visit us and go snowboarding. Babies arrived the same day he did. Had to cancel the trip. I felt pretty bad, but he understood/had no choice.
But this is tame compared to the many friends I have that traveled abroad and missed the birth of their kids because they came early.
Not appropriate at all![rebelmouse-image 18353064 is_animated_gif=
It was right after she gave birth, not while she was pregnant. She was complaining about the boy feeding non-stop, and mentioned that he made her feel like a cow. That was when I learned 'Mooooooo' was not an appropriate response to that situation.
What's more important than your child's birth?[rebelmouse-image 18353065 is_animated_gif=
My dad is a HAM. Not amateur, but all engrossing, passion of his life, needs-nothing-else like. On the day I was born he sent my mom alone to the hospital because he was talking to americans on the radio for the first time. (we were living in Russia, and this was all on a homemade antenna in the 90's). So yeah, thanks dad.
The nerves must really make dads hungry[rebelmouse-image 18353066 is_animated_gif=
I was in hour 15 or 16 of a failed induction and they were talking about possibly needing a c-section. My husband asks the OB if he has time to grab sushi from ghe cafeteria.
Creative, but maybe not the right place and time[rebelmouse-image 18353067 is_animated_gif=
I introduced the nursing staff to the terms "crotch fruit" and "sex trophy."
I would think, working in a delivery ward they would have heard those terms before but noooooooooooooooo. Apparently I had uttered the most offensive thing they had ever heard while my wife was giving birth.
Bottom line, be careful what you say[rebelmouse-image 18353068 is_animated_gif=
My wife thought she was in labor, I didn't because she had next to no pain. Drive an hour to the hospital go through triage the whole thing. Not labor. 3am the next day, repeat. Confirmed to be labor and the first real contraction hits. I bet you felt that didn't you? Yeah... I got punched.
No two people react the same way to a pungent odor, gratuitous violence in film and television, or unruly, off-putting behavior.
As some people have a fairly high tolerance for gore, aren't bothered by taste and smell, and are so patient that they simply aren't bothered by anyone.
Although, everyone has their limits.
And despite what they might say, there are very few people who don't have one thing which even the very thought of will make them gag, just a little bit.
"What genuinely disgusts you?"
Do They Think It Will Just Vanish?
"People not flushing their poop or pee in public toilets."- Acceptable_Fee_1280
"It was that hard to pull the little lever down?"- Scotsgit73
Always Carry Mints...
"Another person's hot breath in my face."
"For any reason."- MaryEstradaGTNickelodeon Bad Breath GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"People who abuse their pets."- roseteaXx
Being Tricked Into Purchases...
"Ads with a fake close button that just redirect you to the link, particularly pop-up ads."
"I forgot about the mobile game ads with fake mini games that redirect you to the App Store."
"Those might be even worse."- Tyler_Martin1
Cleaning Comes At A Price...
"The goo in the sink drain once you’ve done the dishes."
"Touching this to clean the sink is always a gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing moment."- meiliraijow
Men Marking Their Territory...
"Sitting on a toilet seat with pee on it."- KAWAiiANGXL
We All Do It... Doesn't Make It Any Less Gross...
I Mean, COME ON!
"Just hang onto your sh*t for two minutes and put it in a bin instead of just throwing it on the ground."- ElmerWolfeLOdriving eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
No Matter The Package, Always Bad For You!
"Carrying around a bottle of your own brown cloudy spit that smells like absolute death just skeeves me out on a level I can barely even describe."
"Bonus points if you're the douche who leaves the spit bottles or cups for other people to clean up."- Porn_is_my_bae
We all have our limits.
But even if you aren't wholeheartedly repulsed by any or all of these things, that still doesn't mean you should tolerate it!
How else will people learn to stop?
It's rare for a day to go by where women don't, quite understandably, complain about the annoying, even misogynistic behavior of men.
Addiction to video games, poor hygiene, too much excitement over a football or basketball game, bad table manners.
The list goes on and on.
But men don't only annoy women with their behavior.
Indeed, plenty of other men get equally annoyed or revolted by certain stereotypically "male" behavior, and wish it would come to an end.
"Men of Reddit, what is something you wish other men would stop doing?"
Taking Others Down To Bring Themselves Up
"Insulting their friends to look cool in front of a girl."- SuvenPan
Always Needing To Be The "Tough Guy"
"I wish y’all would stop trying to be Mr. tough arrogant guy when an attractive women is in your presence."- Relevant-Quality2196·
It's Just Basic Hygeine!
"Not washing hands after using public bathrooms."- truetrusterWash Hands Reaction GIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
Women Are Not Property!
"Stop hitting on other dudes' girlfriend."
"Some guys take it as a challenge and it’s pretty f*cked up."- Blowmansalad·
"Being overly horny and hitting on women non stop who clearly are uncomfortable."
"It’s hard to watch."- cgollin34
Learn Some Manners!
"That thing where a girl turns you down so you suddenly call her an ugly b*tch."
"It’s really not hard to NOT be a rude piece of sh*t, and it makes you sound pathetic."
"Have some respect and imagine your grandmother could hear you."- leastlyharmfulSeason 3 Episode 13 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
What Are You Trying To Prove, Exactly?
"Acting overly manly and not smiling, like chill man I’m not trying to pee on your territory."- incognitoburrito2022
"Stop approaching women in grocery store parking lots! "
"My girlfriend mentions that guys, often way older guys, will try to talk to her and ask her out while she’s carrying groceries."
"She’s had to stop wearing headphones because guys will follow her trying to get her attention."
"The worst was a guy who knocked on her window when she was sitting in her car."
"Nobody taught me, a normal dude, how not to be creepy."
"Where the hell did you guys learn to do this?"- UptownShenanigans
Not Fooling Anyone
"Joining MLMs and being really vague about what they do."
"I don’t want an exclusive chance to gain you as a mentor, I sat next to you in pre-algebra and know that the concept of math escapes you."
"Also stop renting luxury vehicles for a weekend and pretending you 'made it'."
"Maybe I’m just a hater but if your whole plan is to not just fake it till you make it but to 'flex' till you make it then I’m not interested in whatever opportunity you’re trying to sell me."- Exact_Thought_185
Its Sexual Assault. STOP IT!
"The unwarranted peen pics need to stop."- Ratakoa
When other "bros" are so openly put off by "bro" culture, maybe that means it's time has passed?
But seriously, did anyone find "bro" culture attractive?
After all, were we laughing with the boys of the American Pie films, or laughing at them...
Successful people who come from humble beginnings usually don't forget where they came from.
But some of those who were already born into privilege and wealth may claim to be compassionate towards people who are financially disadvantaged.
But unless they've lived the experience as someone from the lower class or have a deep understanding of what life is like on the other side, the wealthy will never understand what it's like to be poor.
Curious to hear about interactinos with the affluent from strangers online, Redditor Salazard260 asked:
"Poor people of reddit, what's the most comically out of touch 'advice' you've been given by someone wealthier?"
When it comes to working normal jobs, rich people just don't understand.
Easier Said Than Done
"A mom to my mom, a single mother with three kids: 'you should just stop working if you are so stressed about it.'"
"Sounds like a psychologist I went and saw once, spent the hour talking about how much pressure I felt being the sole source of income in the house, to be told 'sounds like your job is stressing you out, you should quit!' When I asked how I’d pay the bills his response was 'I can help you apply for a new job, I’m really good at job applications, I’ve got every job I applied for! - yeah mate I don’t think that’s going to help. Never went back."
"Not really advice, but one of my high school friends came from a rich family. But because he wasn't really that motivated in life, his parents encouraged him to find a summer job."
"He was going to go job-hunting at the mall, working in retail. I asked him how much he wanted to earn. He said, 'Not too much. $40 per hour should be a good start.' This was in the early 2000s."
"It reminds me of the Arrested Development scene where Lucille thinks a banana costs $10."
When it comes to renting an apartment, these are not the people who should be weighing in with their thoughts to help.
Clueless About Rent
"I had a boss at the time tell me it cant be more than 800 bucks for rent in the DC area when I asked for a pay raise. The minimum rent I could find at the time was closer to 1800."
Let's Start With Step 1
"That I need to buy several apartments and rent them out. Unfortunately, he did not tell me where to get money to buy several apartments."
When it comes to family and financials, we're all not the same.
That's Not How That Works
"I remember when I was at high school and I mentioned to someone that I'd like a gaming PC but couldn't afford it, he said 'can you not just ask your parents for the money?'"
"I said no because there was nothing left over after bills and groceries."
"Yeah, but if you ask realllllyyyyy nicely, couldn't they give you the money?"
"Like what goddamn money? The money for the food we eat? The money for our electricity bill? Sure, no doubt my family are happy to suffer just so I can have a piece of tech I don't need."
Ignorance Is Bliss
"I had a friend like that and one time pulled out a pen and paper and did my family's financials roughly in front of them. I showed income, taxes, utilities, insurance, groceries, gas, car payments, loan payments, etc and then showed how little was left over and then said that some of that needs to go into savings/retirement just in case. I then asked them 'so where is that money I ask my parents for coming from?'"
"He sat there dumbfounded for a bit, I think one: that I knew all this off the top of my head (the recession made me hyper aware of financials) and two: it started sink in how ignorant he was about money in general, and how good he had it. He wasn't a bad dude, and wasn't one of those who thinks money was infinite, but I guess didn't realize how much 100 bucks was to a lot of people."
The Other Way Around
"'Just have your parents give you the money'.... B*tch, I support my parents."
Going Nowhere Fast
"I had a buddy in college that asked me to drive him to the next town over. He had a car but his parents said he was spending to much in the gas card. His solution was to bum a ride but told me it wasn’t fair for him to pay me for gas out of his allowance because I had a job."
"I’m still stunned by the mental gymnastics that dude went through to justify his behavior."
"After dumping me my long-tine girlfriend would occasionally reach out with her crazy rants."
"One of them was I should just dump my parents somewhere, as in literally dropping them off on some corner, and let them fend for themselves."
"I dodged a rocket not marrying her."
The rich could afford many luxuries that are unattainable for the rest of us, and good for them.
But when it comes to offering any kind of wisdom or suggestion to improve our financial standing in life, money can't buy them respect when they are completely out of touch.
There's a fairly common formula in movies geared toward a teenage audience.
A group of teenagers face one central conflict, to varying degrees of importance and severity, but manage to solve it in a surprisingly short manner of time.
The heroes of these films are usually a hodgepodge of traditional high school archetypes (star athlete, math nerd, girl whose beauty is disguised by a pair of glasses), all of whom the intended audience can completely relate to and root for.
And then we have the adult characters, who are often buffoonish stereotypes, or the outright villain, whose sole mission is to ensure the protagonist will not achieve their ultimate goal.
As teenagers, we often find ourselves ready to boo these grown-ups from the minute they appear on the screen.
But when we revisit these movies as adults, we find ourselves noticing that their behavior isn't quite as bad as we remembered.
Or, more shockingly, we actually find ourselves rooting for them!
"What teen movie is the epitome of 'the older I get, the more I agree with the adult?'"
The Teacher Was Right All Along...
"Rewatching 'Scrubs', I realize I’m no longer a JD., I’ve become a Cox."- RenegadeRinker
They Were Just Being Protective!
"I watched 'Sixteen Candles' recently and I now do not approve of Samantha going anywhere near Jake Ryan."-goblininstigator
All It Takes Is A Little Perspective
"Sadly, 'The Wonder Years'."
"I always couldn’t believe the dad was real, with his pissed off attitude from work."
"Now I understand."- hashnThe Wonder Years Thumbs Down GIFGiphy
Nothing Wrong With A Little Precision And Order!
"The movie 'Juno'."
"Jennifer Garner's character is at first portrayed as a 'square', then you realize she's a mature adult and her husband is a man-baby."- DaveFarted
Add It Up, The Wedding Cost Nearly $150,00!
"Not a teen movie, but 'Father of the Bride'."
"Watching it as a kid, Steve Martin seemed like an old grump."
"Rewatching it as an adult, holy sh*t he is the only sane person in that movie."- DrOctopusMD
It Was Literally His Job To Protect Them!
"'The Lion King'."
"Oh I thought Zazu was just an old fun-killer."
"What do you mean, Simba can't be king?"
"Why would you prevent the kids from going where they want?"
"As an adult and father, I'm 100% Team Zazu."- Oneiric86the lion king GIF by DisneyGiphy
Seriously, Would Your Dad Have Been So Cool About It?...
"As a new father, I hope to be like Jim’s dad when my little one is a teenager."
"Caring, loving and a complete embarrassment to them."- BanjoPhatterson
It's A Parent's Job To Worry.
"The mom in 'Ice Princess'."
"So you have a daughter who has a talent for and seems to like physics and has a shot of getting into Harvard."
"This girl throws it away for ice skating where she has only been competing for less than a year, where if she gets injured she's done and when she reaches 30 she's pretty much done."
"There is no way she is at an olympic level at that point she would need years of training! "
"Hell yes I would advise against it to!"- testmonkey254
Always Be Respectful Of Your Roommate!
"Goob, 'Meet the Robinsons'."- beepboop232Meet The Robinsons Google GIFGiphy
People Are Complicated
"He’s just trying to do something right and being a good dad."- LukeLJS123
As teens we're inclined to revolt from our parents and teachers, or even be revolted by them.
But the older we get, the more we understand that nine times out of ten, they were just looking out for us.
Just as we realize that Mr. Hall of Clueless was being pretty generous giving a C to a student who didn't seem to know how to pronounce "Haitian"...