Most of us can agree that we wouldn't want to live where someone else makes the rules and micromanages our lives.
HOA's are supposed to be there to improve everyone's living conditions - and the properly run ones can do just that. Unfortunately, HOA's have become a sort of stomping ground for Big Karen Energy.
One Reddit user asked:
Current and former residents of an HOA, what's your "I'll never live in an HOA again" story?
The intention may have been for homeowners to vent, but it turns out HOAs have managed to terrorize, annoy, harass and otherwise mess with plenty of folks who don't even live in them! So here are stories from homeowners, neighbors, employees, emergency service workers ... you get the point. There's lots of beef to be had.
They Won't Back Down
I'm being charged $400 because of a violation for a bush overhanging my walkway.
I don't have a walkway. Or a bush. The picture isn't even my house. They won't back down. I've had a lawyer on retainer for a year for other life issues. He says it'd be easy but it's not his area.
I told the HOA it wasn't my house, the complaint reappeared on my tenant portal. Then I got a second violation for the same bush.
I filed it as fixed with pictures and they came back saying that they accidentally put the wrong picture but that my bush is overgrown on my walkway. I'm currently waiting for them to respond to me pointing out that I don't have a damn bush or walkway. They're so dense and stubborn.
I also paid a fee for trash cans outside on the wrong day when the company dropped them off. Before I moved in. I want to move.
A Delightfully Boisterous Couple From Philly
Laughing Out Loud GIF by memecandy
Giphy
We got a letter because one Saturday my mom had a wheelbarrow full of mulch on the driveway. While she was planting flowers.
We also got the police called the weekend we moved in because there were "too many cars in front of the house". Mostly because we were still unloading the moving truck.
I took great pleasure in the fact that when we did move my mom sold the house to a loud and delightfully boisterous couple from Philly. We loved these people. We were certain the neighbors would not.
We're Not Even In The HOA
My old house's backyard bordered an HOA community. Our house was built 30 years before the community was built so we weren't part of it. We used to get notices about violations and fines if we didn't correct them. Never did correct them . They finally sent legal papers to repossess our house. Went to court with a tax map that showed our property NOT part of the HOA community. Judge dismissed their suit against us and found them guilty of harassment. We didn't get awarded much, but I made sure to break every rule of theirs I could untill we moved
"Do You Know Who I Am?"Â
My daughter was a lifeguard at the pool in our community and they weren't allowed to give out certain equipment (it was for swimming lessons). One day the HOA president asks for equipment and my daughter says no as she was instructed.
The HOA president actually says "Do you know who I am?"
Then he proceeded to call her boss. She didn't lose her job, but she didn't go back the next year.
- TPhoard
I'm a lifeguard; I have no issues believing this. Hell hath no fury like someone told pool equipment is not available.
- siel04
Transmission Problems
When I was a kid my parents had a house in a nice cul-de-sac, but it was a working class neighborhood. The transmission in my truck took a doo doo so I replaced it in our driveway.
A few days later we got a letter citing a clause stating all improvements done on property must be done by a licensed contractor. It was a far reach but they stood by it as there was nothing in the CC&Rs against working on personal vehicles.
My dad made me pay him back for the fine but for awhile afterwards I'd go put some oil or coolant under the HOA presidents cars and hope he wasting money chasing a nonexistent problem.
Measuring Curbs And The Emu Upgrade
Run Away Lets Go GIF by Brookfield Zoo
Giphy
I was just learning to drive and parked my car too far away from the curb. Parents and neighbors didn't get along so neighbors measured the distance from the wheels to the curb and parents got fined.
Now I live in the country with pretty much no rules. We have goats and emus in our front yard.
Fines for parking too far from curb or emus in front yard? Not a tough choice.
"Lost" Paperwork
HOA "lost" paperwork for change of ownership when we bought our house. They sent us letters saying there would be a lien placed on our home if we didn't pay the overdue amounts - plus over $200 of late fees.
I had to call them 3 times to even get someone on the phone who knew how to help me. Then I contacted escrow who said they had already not only sent all the paperwork, but turns out we had already paid the fees.
Called HOA again and they were insistent that we hadn't paid or sent over paperwork. Called escrow again and requested they contact the HOA themselves to sort this out.
HOA still insisted we owed a late fee. Started losing my sh*t until escrow said they would pay the late fee.
A month later we got a letter in the mail saying we were being fined for leaving our trash bins out longer than necessary. Fck HOA.
HOA Hazing
Moved to Florida where every neighborhood is an HOA. Upon moving in I felt like I had joined a sorority or fraternity and I had to endure the hazing from the HOA.
The final straw was when they sent me a letter that my white mailbox was dirty. So I decided to walk down one street and took pics of mailboxes with no doors and mailboxes that were covered in mildew and I emailed them all to the HOA. I told them to not send me any more notices until these mailboxes were up to code.
I haven't received another notice in a year. I guess I passed my initiation...
My HOA bullied me like this. I gave up and moved out. Paying $800 monthly was not worth the BS.
Every Little Thing
No huge issues, just up-to-the-minute griping about every little thing.
We were in the middle of moving in and got a nastygram about some boxes on the side of the house, waiting to go out with recycle.
Got another one about our lawn right after it was scalped and winter grass planted. They apparently didn't approve of nature's time frame on growing grass.
Moved back to the old neighborhood; no HOA, and city code takes care of 90% of the BS (weeds, general eyesores/nuisances, etc.)
No HOA ever again. I have no plans of putting a weight bench in my front yard but dammit, I want the option.
This is a really important point, the solution to annoyances in your neighborhood should be local government, not setting up a barely accountable micro-fiefdom.
If you can't even persuade the members of your own community then it should be a huge red flag that maybe your insistence that grass over 3" should be illegal is more of a you problem that should just stay a you problem.
- kiyasu
Emergency Services
My grandparents lived in a old folks community with a zealous hoa. My grandmother had to go to the hospital, cause of her many health problems. Whenever that happened, my grandfather would go with her.
It happened once when I was visiting.
There was a knock on the door at about 10am. I opened the door and two elderly women with clipboards immediately jump into a speech about how the trash cans hadn't be brought in. I explained the situation.
One of them said she was in the hospital the previous week but still managed to bring in her trash can and handed me what looked like a ticket for $50. Fck. That. Sht.
I work in emergency services. I've had HOA board members try telling me we couldn't idle our fire engine or park our ambulance "there" as if I'd know the rules.
I'm usually professional, but the second time they tried to complain about the fire engine idling I responded along the lines of "Go fck yourself. I don't care what your bylaws say. Article 300 of Michigan traffic code says I can park wherever the fck I want."
We were there for a family with carbon monoxide poisoning and I truly didn't give a damn about anything else at that moment. We had crews up and down the road to treat and transport the entire family.
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It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
Away Messages
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"
GiphyThe Unknown
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."
GiphyThe Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."
GiphyFiguring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."
GiphyEndless Learning
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"
GiphyMaking Friends
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."
GiphyA Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
- tsoldrin
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
- dramboxf
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."
GiphyGo Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
- dienices
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."
GiphyIt Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."
GiphyWe Used To Love Yahoo
"Yahoo Answers"
"Yahoo Pool"
- inaclick
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."
GiphyOn a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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