Nerdy Geniuses Share The Most Interesting Mathematical Facts In Their Brains
Math Nerds, unite!
Chances are if you ask the average person about a math fact, the best they'll be able to come up with is "2+2=4." But not these Redditors. We all know math has to have some cool, complicated concepts, but how could we ever understand them?
Reddit user xxTick asked the masses:
Here are some answers that will make you reconsider those days you skipped intro to calc.
e (2.718281828459045...) is the average number of random numbers between 0 and 1 that must be added to sum to at least 1.
there are exactly 10! seconds in six weeks.
10! = 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8 x 9 x 10 how many seconds in 6 weeks? 6 weeks x 7 days x 24 hours x 60 minutes x 60 seconds = (2 x 3) x 7 x ( 2 x 3 x 4) x (2 x 3 x 10) x (5 x 6 x 2) combine the 3's, combine the extra 2's, stick a 1 in front... = 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8 x 9 x 10 seconds.
Cantor's diagonal proof which implies more than one infinity. At least for classical mathematicians.
Gabriel's horn, the volume of the cone is finite, but the surface area is infinite.
As a PhD student in mathematics, this is not a sexy answer, but one of the reasons I fell in love with math was in my differential equations course when we discussed modeling epidemic using mathematical equations. It was so incredible to me that back in 1927, Kermack and McKendrick came up with a simple formulation of how to model a disease. This idea has been expanded greatly, but their original version of the S-I-R compartmental model is still one of the coolest things. And it can also model rumors as well!
I love Fermat's Last Theorem:
no three positive integers a, b, and c satisfy the equation an + bn = cn for any integer value of n greater than 2.
It just intuitively seems that some n should work, given infinite possible numbers, but it's been proven that nothing but 2 fits.
If you take enough random steps in two dimensions, you'll always eventually get back to your starting point. The same cannot be said of three dimensions.
I just find the idea that you will always get back to where you started by making random moves absolutely mind boggling, and the fact things change just because you can go up and down is even weirder.
ii = 0.20787957635
So an imaginary number to an imaginary power is a real number.
Jokes For Days
99999999999999999989 is the largest prime number that can also be a Reddit username.
Beep Booop Boop
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
And on it goes
The maximum number of moves needed to solve a Rubik's cube from any configuration is a mere 20.
Expecting Numberphile subscribers to have a strong showing in this thread.
There is a prime number named after one of Satan's devils. It is a 1 followed by 13 0s. 666. 13 more 0s. And a 1.
Conjecture Lecture, What's Your Texture?
The Collatz Conjecture: It's an unsolved mathmatical conjecture that can be summarized as follows; Take any positive integer, or "n". If n is even, divide it by 2 to get n / 2. If n is odd, multiply it by 3 and add 1 to obtain 3n + 1. Repeat the process indefinitely. The conjecture is that no matter what number you start with, you will always eventually reach 1. For example, start with 21. it's odd so I multiply by 3 and add 1, to get 64. 64 is even so I divide by 2 to get 32, again to get 16, 8, 4, 2, 1. No one has found a number that doesn't follow this rule.
The Birthday Problem.
If you have 23 people in a room, there is a 50% chance that at least two of them have the same birthday. If you put 70 people in, the probability jumps to 99.9%.
It seems f-cking weird to me but I haven't done math since high school so what do I know.
if you fold a piece of paper 103 times, the thickness of it will be larger than the observable universe - 93 billion light-years
Banach-Tarski paradox, in a nutshell what it says is that if you take a (let's make it simpler) 3 dimensional ball, you can partition it in finite number of pieces (which is only true for 3-dim case, otherwise it's countably infinite) and then rotate and translate some of the pieces and you can get two exactly identical balls that we started with. So you might think we doubled the volume, indeed we did.
It's Everywhere To Me
Astronomer here! Do you remember a few months ago when NASA announced the discovery of seven Earth-sized planets around a star called TRAPPIST-1? Astronomers and mathematicians freaked out a bit about it because it turned out all those planets were in resonance, where objects orbit in a simple multiplicative of another (so, if Earth were to orbit the sun one time every time Venus orbited twice- not really the case). These simple ratios can be good in celestial mechanics for sure- Pluto crosses Neptune's orbit, for example, but they are in a 2:3 resonance so will never crash into each other. But it's also very likely to lead to amplified gravitational forces that then eject planets, and frankly, TRAPPIST-1 should not be stable based on the resonances we see there and is just very luckily in a few million year gap or so where that system can exist according to mathematics and computer simulations.
The cool thing about this though is resonance is a mathematical concept that just describes vibrations, from that in a violin string to stability in a bridge. And acoustic resonance is very important for making music sound good- some resonances work, some make music sound "bad."
The cool thing here though is because mathematics shows up in everything, some Canadian astronomers realized you can "hear" TRAPPIST-1 because it has "good" resonances. (No really, they tried other systems, but apparently they all sounded awful.) They sped up the orbits of the system 212 million times (so you wouldn't have to wait ~18 years to hear the full piece), and frankly the resulting piece is pretty awesome. You should check it out!
Math is everywhere!
One of my favorite is about the number of unique orders for cards in a standard 52 card deck.
I've seen a a really good explanation of how big 52! actually is.
Set a timer to count down 52! seconds (that's 8.0658x1067 seconds)
Stand on the equator, and take a step forward every billion years
When you've circled the earth once, take a drop of water from the Pacific Ocean, and keep going
When the Pacific Ocean is empty, lay a sheet of paper down, refill the ocean and carry on.
When your stack of paper reaches the sun, take a look at the timer.
The 3 left-most digits won't have changed. 8.063x1067 seconds left to go. You have to repeat the whole process 1000 times to get 1/3 of the way through that time. 5.385x1067 seconds left to go.
So to kill that time you try something else.
Shuffle a deck of cards, deal yourself 5 cards every billion years
Each time you get a royal flush, buy a lottery ticket
Each time that ticket wins the jackpot, throw a grain of sand in the grand canyon
When the grand canyon's full, take 1oz of rock off Mount Everest, empty the canyon and carry on.
When Everest has been levelled, check the timer.
There's barely any change. 5.364x1067 seconds left. You'd have to repeat this process 256 times to have run out the timer.
Suppose a drug test is 99% sensitive and 99% specific. That is, the test will produce 99% true positive results for drug users and 99% true negative results for non-drug users. Suppose that 0.5% of people are users of the drug. If a randomly selected individual tests positive, what is the probability that he is a user?
The answer is around 33.2%
69! (69 factorial; approximately 1.711224524×1098 ) is the largest factorial number that most hand-held calculators can handle. This is because it also happens to be the last factorial number that is less than a googol (10100 ), and these calculators can't handle numbers larger than a googol.
1729 is the smallest number that is the sum of two positive cubes in two different ways:
1729 = 1^3 + 12^3 = 9^3 + 10^3
A Googolplex Of Text
Graham's number! Short version: it's really big. I'll try to explain how big, but you won't understand it. You literally can't. I'll explain that bit, too.
First, we need to understand iterative operations. We'll start with easy stuff, but we'll get to the fun stuff soon. First, a so-called "zero order" operation called the "sequence function." If you give it a number, it gives the next one. So if you give it a four, it gives a five. If you give it 283, it returns 284.
Now, the main first order operation is used as shorthand for how many times you want to do the sequence function. You can take a six, and say "start here, and do the sequence function four times." You'll end up with ten. You might recognize this as addition. 6+4 just means 6 -> 7 ->8 -> 9 -> 10.
Now, the second-order function is a way to compress a lot of addition. If you want to take six and add it until you have four sixes together, you write 6 x 4, which means 6 + 6 + 6 + 6. Multiplication, of course.
Exponentiation is just iterated multiplication: 64 just means four sixes, multipled: 6 x 6 x 6 x 6.
That's as far as most people need to know, but you can keep going. Tetration is iterated exponentiation. 6 tetrated by four means four sixes raised to each other: 6666. And 7 pentated by three means seven tetrated by seven tetrated by seven.
Now we're ready to begin. We're going to start with three sexated by three. That is, three pentated by three pentated by three, where three pentated by three equals three tetrated by three tetrated by three, and that tetration means 333 = 7.6 billion. So if you take 3333333... until you have 7.6 billion threes, you'll have three pentated by three. This number is incomprehensibly large. Trust me. Then if you pentate three by that number, you'll have three hexated by three. And this number is truly beyond the realm of human comprehension. But this number is not Graham's number. This number is called G(1).
Notice how each level of operations creates huge numbers far, far faster than even one level down. Sequentation is just counting. Addition gets bigger numbers a little faster. Multiplication with small numbers can get you into the hundreds quickly. Exponentiation very swiftly takes us into pretty big numbers, and tetration accelerates much faster than most real-world things ever call for. Remember how even just with two threes, tetration creates 7 billion.
Now, remember G(1)? What we're going to do now is take two threes, and the operation we're going to perform on them is a G(1)-order operation. Even one step up the operation orders makes a tremendous difference. Now we're taking a number of steps that is an unbelievable number. And when we're done, we have a number we'll call G(2).
Now keep going. Don't even begin to think of how big G(2) is. It's actually impossible. Just do a G(2)-order operation on two threes, and call it G(3). And then keep going. I'll skip to the end now: Graham's number is G(64).
I want to explain why I said you literally can't imagine it. I was not exaggerating. It's been proven, because numbers are information, and information has a fundamental relationship with entropy, and entropy with energy, and energy with mass. All that means that there is no way, even with quantum physics, to compute this number, in any fashion, without something that cannot exist.
Do you know the Planck length? The smallest measurable space that exists, the resolution size of reality. There are about 100000000000000 of them to cross the approximate diameter of a quark. Now imagine that every cubic space on Planck3 could be used to store one binary digit. One quark would have 10 with about 3000 zeroes of them, enough to store information about every atom in the solar system. But we don't need one quark. If we stored a bit on every cubic Planck length in the known universe we would still not have enough space to store Graham's number. You wouldn't even fit G(1). A complete computation of G(1) would literally destroy the universe.
That's what I love about Graham's number. We begin with numbers that without exaggeration are too big to fit in our reality, and then raise them to powers beyond comprehension. It's not nuclear overkill. It's cosmic scales of nuclear overkill repeated in terms no one can imagine, all before we've even really begun, and the power of words is exhausted. And yet... we can write it, in a recursive formula, on a sticky note of the palm of your hand in about thirty seconds.
Of course, it's not the biggest number. You could have Graham's number plus one. Graham's number times 2. G(65). G(Graham's number). But at that point, what difference does it make? If math is the language of the universe, what's the point of numbers the universe itself can never represent? Human language is the greatest limiting factor in human thought and communication, but human thought cannot keep pace with its own vision into the language of math.
Graham's number: for those times when someone's just learned Googolplex and you need to top them. Just make sure that guy's not in the room who knows about TREE functions.
Bob Barker Or Monty Hall?
Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?
The answer is yes.
According to one misguided interpretation of The Clown Prince of Crime: "We live in a society."
What's something that people glamourize but it's actually just extremely toxic?
Just when you think you're doing something with a positive impact on someone's life, turns out you've gone and made the wrong decision.
Be Selective With Whom You Tell This To
"Be yourself", "You're perfect just the way you are", and "Never let anyone change you" are double edged swords that enable horrible people to justify continuing to be horrible or continue destructive behaviors that harm themselves or the people around them."
"Sometimes people need to change."
"It's also a cheap way out of growing yourself."
"I like 'be the person you want to be' much more than 'be yourself'. It recognizes that yeah, we each have our own shortcomings, and we shouldn't just accept every single bad trait, but at the same time, we can also accept ourselves knowing that were taking steps towards improvement."
"Especially when it comes to dating, you often get the advice that 'hey, just be yourself and talk to her/him'. That isn't really helpful if someone's 'self' is an awkward, nervous wreck. I think that telling someone to just accept who they are and their feelings in the moment is far better advice, because it recognizes the problem, and the fact that it's natural to be a bit on edge in that situation."
"Creates the sort of people sharing memes like "if you can't handle me at my doodliest, you don't deserve me at my diddliest"
Treat Them Like Who They Are: People
"Treating disabled people as if they were there just to inspire non-disabled people. Just let them be, it's not their job to inspire you"
"As a disabled person, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been called "inspirational" purely for still existing. Like, I'm just alive, I've done nothing spectacular."
Developing a misguided work ethic can come without much self-input. If you're working on a team, surrounded by people chasing that "hustle," then odds are you're going to be staying late, working overtime, and ignoring the people you have waiting for you at home.
Completely Devoted To A "Company"
"Working long hours"
"I worked for a manager once who, while bragging about his dedication to the company, proudly declared that he hadn't spent Thanksgiving with his family in 11 years. Sorry, dude. That's not something to be proud of."
"Adding to that, misplaced loyalty to a company."
"I had a part time job at Tesco's once as a student (supermarket chain in the UK). This particular branch was a Tesco Express, which is very small like a corner shop or bodega."
"The manager was a horrible woman in her 50s called Andrea who would try and boast how she had been working at Tesco since she was 16, she seriously saw herself as a huge success because she'd gone from a shelf stacker to manager over a period of 30 years."
"I would have felt a little sorry for her if she wasn't such a total B*TCH all the bloody time."
Killing Yourself For The "Hustle"
"Working overtime on a daily basis."
"I see this a lot with new hires, who think that working themselves to death will impress the company and help them advance."
"Too many good people have burned out on lack of sleep, rest, and too many energy drinks, just to try to impress an uncaring boss."
"Sadly, so many of them don't listen."
Get Those Late Hours, Bro
"Being sleep deprived"
"Just had a conversation today with a colleague about how the worst thing you can do to yourself is deprive your body a good night rest. He looked at me like a grew a 2nd head when I informed him I prioritize at least 8-9 hours of sleep daily."
This has already proved to be a big issue with the inexperienced-in-love group. When you don't have proper guidance, or gentle experiences, most your knowledge about being a relationship can come from movies.
Which isn't great.
Screams Loud And Clear
"People that describe their relationship as "when it's bad it's bad, but when it's good it's like nothing you've ever known" (or some variation of this). Like nahhh, that screams abusive to me."
"That's called a trauma bond"
Don't Burn The Ones You Love For 'Likes'
"Tiktok trends that challenge or test trust in relationships. It's not funny or cool to mess with someone's feelings and trust just for more views."
"If a girl locked me outside the car and started threatening to go through my phone(a trend right now), I would pretend to be okay with it, let her do the snooping to clear her pretenses, then immediately break up with her. If my affirmation is not enough for you, either our trust or your insecurities are not ready for a relationship."
I Love You Debt MUCH
"Huge weddings you can't afford"
"I honestly hate that too! Bride and groom are left broke, and both the families are showing off photos of the reception"
"I only have one thing I tell people when they get engaged : Don't get a loan."
"Everytime they've laughed in my face but then, six months down the line I can see they're deep in the fog and think three grand on an expense for one day "isn't such a bad deal! It has to be perfect!"
"Don't start your marriage in debt for the wedding."
All Together: "No Means No."
"Pursuing a romantic interest after they've turned you down"
"THIS. I was on a discord server during quarantine where amongst many other great people I got to know this guy who took an interest in me, I didn't take an interest in him though so I turned him down. At that time I didn't know yet that before we started talking he started being really interested in another girl who turned him down as well."
"After I turned him down dude started getting obsessed over her again, tried "wooing" her all the time even though she explicitly told him she doesn't want to have any contact with him several times and blocked him on every form of social media. The cherry on top was when several months later he randomly sent flowers to her house on another continent WITHOUT HER EVEN KNOWING HE HAS HER ADDRESS. She told us and someone gave him so much sh-t for that and he just wouldn't see how wrong and creepy that was."
"That was just a fraction of the sh-t he did btw but let's just say I'm pretty glad I didn't start a relationship with him. Real life is not a movie people. When someone tells you to leave them alone leave them the frick alone."
Be aware of what you're doing. Think through your actions. Be considerate of how what you do impacts others.
You know, kindness.
There are creepers in our midst. Sometimes, they are the most unassuming types.
Lone straphangers on a semi-crowded subway are a dime-a-dozen, and they seem to mind their own business.
But when you notice out of your peripheral a person staring at you and grabbing their crotch, well, it's time to either get off at the next stop or move to another car.
Yeah, it happens.
"What's the creepiest thing you caught someone doing?"
How well do you know your friends? These Redditors wished they could unlearn some things while others realized it's been too long since they've last seen acquaintances from the past.
When I was 13, I went to a friends house. He put his dog under his bed covers and made the dog lick his nipples repeatedly."
."...needless to say, I didn't go back to his house again."
"When we were about 18 years old my friend Rich was telling me he was being followed by a strange dude with long hair, beard and mustache. He said he would turn around and see the guy following him from a distance. At night Rich would look out his front window and see the guy standing in the middle of the road staring at his house. 2 weeks later we finished up our band practice in our lead guitarist's back yard and Rich left to put his amp in his car. A few moments later Rich came running back terrified saying the bearded guy was out front and that he was coming through the gate to the backyard. I saw the creep come in and he asked 'Rich?' a few times. Rich asked who he was and he said 'Doug.' They had been schoolmates but Doug had moved away for a few years and grew his hair long. Rich asked him why he didn't say anything earlier and Doug said he was nervous about approaching Rich because he wasn't sure it was him. So he just stalked him for 2 weeks and Rich was terrified the entire time."
Lurkers and stalkers are unnerving, but these creeps have gone way too far.
Malicious Bar Patron
"I watched a guy ghost up to the bar while I was drinking with friends, drop something into a girls drink and fade back into the crowd. Super stealthy and if I hadn't been looking down at the bar I wouldn't have caught it."
"Notified the bartender, and the girl. He exchanged the drink, no questions, the bouncer asked me some questions about the guy, and I never found out how it ended up. Scary how fast it happened."
"I was in bed lounging around in my former boyfriends house (who lived with his parents at the time), and I heard a knock. I ignored it because I was too sleepy to care. Then I heard the door open a crack."
"Maybe it was instinct, but I knew I was being stared at. I opened one of my eyes slightly and saw my boyfriend's dad peeking at me through the crack in the door."
"We locked gazes and he scurried off, awkwardly."
"I never returned to that house again, and never told anyone."
"Ok, nobody is going to believe this, but I swear on my life, in roughly 1990, on a greyhound bus, I saw an old lady unwrap and eat a condom. It haunts me to this day…"
Some people are neighborly by nature. But there ought to be limitations.
Neighbor At The Loo
"Once I was taking a sh*t in a public restroom and heard weird noises, so I looked under the stall to check the feet of the dude next to me. I'm not sure why, I just did it to be safe. Turns out the dude next to me was checking at the exact same time I was. It was so f'king awkward as we made eye contact nearly upside down by our underwear. I guess it was weird for both of us."
"My neighbor stands in the backyard and stares through my windows. She also stands outside my apartment door and occasionally follows me into town and into stores."
"She's a well known creep in town but nothing can be done really because that's as far as she ever takes it also, my state doesnt have great stalking laws so the police can't touch her either."
You would think crowded subways would be places for creeps to avoid doing their pervy things. But being caught must be an added thrill for such offenders.
A friend of mine was literally groped by a strap hanger as she and I boarded the packed subway car.
She yelled directly, at him, "Did you just grab my A**???"
The non-reactive not-so-gentleman just stood there as every passenger glared at him for his ride of shame.
Although we doubted he needed to get off at the next stop, it was good to see him haul his own a** off the train.
Creeps, beware. You never know who won't put up with your handsy proclivities.
It seems that it's far more common to hear somebody complain about their job than to hear them give a glowing review of their line of work.
But before you think that everyone out here is miserable, there are some people who do like their work.
These beloved jobs come in all different shapes and sizes. And they're enjoyed for just as many various reasons: the lack of stress, the excitement of the work, the hours, or even the co-workers may all be good reasons to have a decent enough time at work.
Perhaps curious about the decent jobs out there, Redditor KM5550 asked:
"People who actually love their jobs: how and why?"
Many discussed the jobs that allow them to work outside, rather than sitting at a desk in an office all day long.
We All Know That Guy
"I'm the guy who gets to wave glow sticks at the airport and help parallel park airplanes. The only downside is that I have to stay outside at all times"
Furry Friends All Day Long
"Dog walker here. I love being outside all day, little to no contact with humans, and spending everyday with all kinds of fun and adorable dogs, there is virtually no downside."
"They are so happy to see me and even happier to walk. It's seriously criminal that I get paid to do this lol"
Close to Earth
"I own and run a farm. We do a lot of gourmet mushrooms, garlic, specialty fruits, etc. I have always loved to cook. Cooking with fresh local ingredients is awesome."
"Basing your life around producing those ingredients, cooking with them, and sharing with your community is amazing. I would never have a normal 'job' again."
"It really is true that with some persistence and a bit of luck you can find a job that doesn't feel like work."
Others enjoy their work for all the time they get to spend with children. There is never a dull moment with those zany, tiny children.
Blowing (Up) Minds
"I'm a science teacher. I love working with kids, I love that I don't have administrative responsibilities. All I have to do is make lesson plans, and teach those plans, and I can refine them through the day as needed. If a lesson goes great, I can save it for the next year, and there is no shortage of good ideas online."
"It is infinitely more rewarding helping kids understand difficult concepts and seeing those 'aha!' moments, much better than my previous soul-crushing desk job."
"Also, every now and then I get to blow sh** up with a bunch of kids."
Legos Is a Nice Perk
"Pediatric registered nurse. When I'm done my assessments, medication administration, and charting, I spend my downtime building Legos and playing video games with my patients."
"Pretty sweet gig."
Concocting Behind Closed Doors
"I'm an art teacher. I shut my door, interpret the curriculum how I see fit, and have a blast making amazing projects with my kids."
"Since it's art, nobody really gives a crap about what I'm doing, as long as my kids are working. It gives me a lot of freedom to teach what I think is appropriate."
Others highlighted their work in manual labor or service industry positions. Those these often get a bad rap, these jobs are apparently rather enjoyable.
A Pragmatic Skill
"I love working in manufacturing/welding. There's a lot of satisfaction in creating something out of something else. I take pride that my work meets specs and the money is ok."
"It's not necessarily a rare skill set, but not everyone can do it. I've struggled with ADD and depression, so being successful at my trade is very important to me."
Some Peace of Mind
"Worked retail for 10 years. Took a pay cut to go to a different, small grocery store. It's kind of like a David's if anyone knows that chain. Bit bigger, it's in a rich a** development. Old white folk (nice tips sometimes randomly just for pointing out the bananas or something)"
"So I'm the only one in the produce department, aka I run this, zero supervision. It's pretty nice. I can take breaks whenever I want, free lunch from the deli, don't have to deal with customers aside from the occasional "where is X". Pretty sweet gig."
"But I've already gotten a raise to match my previous salary. And the usual promises of more. We'll see about that, but I'm happy for now, they're happy with me. All is well, and I'm not pi**ed off all day anymore."
"Only complaint would be that because the way the trucks are scheduled I don't get two days in a row off anymore. But oh well. I can deal."
"I left my career and the big hustle of the city (LA, and before that Toronto), and moved to a tiny town in the mountains where I took a job as a baker. It's like living in a Hallmark movie; there isn't a stop light around for like 30 miles and everything is all alpine village-y and."
"I make half the money I did at my old desk job but my expenses are half what they were, and I have ZERO stress - our customers are always happy because pie."
Just a Fine Job
"I'm a member of the International Union of Elevator Constructors. I install elevators for a living. The benefits and pay are incredible. The work is very satisfying and I actually enjoy coming into work every day."
"It can get stressful and some days are way harder than others but generally it's a pretty fun job building sh** and using tools all day."
So if you're looking to make a massive career change to feel less stress, perhaps these jobs are worthy of some thought.
How many times have you stubbed your toe because you weren't paying attention and banged it against some furniture? Hurts like hell, doesn't it? Have you ever slipped outside because you didn't realize the rain––or ice––on the roads would be so slick? You probably have (and hopefully you didn't bang yourself up too much). You probably hope no one was looking... to save yourself from certain embarrassment.
Believe it or not, there are people out there who've fared worse.
People were all too willing to share their experiences after Redditor 7937397 asked the online community,
"What is the stupidest injury you've ever gotten?"
"Then got laid off."
"Leaned forward to look at my face closely in the bathroom mirror. Vertebrae in my lower back slipped out of position. Nine weeks on disability. Then got laid off."
It's true what they say... when it rains, it really pours.
"I once injured my leg..."
"I once injured my leg by jumping off the back of a moving truck, so that I wouldn't be in trouble for riding on the back of a moving truck."
"I once broke my thumb..."
"I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug.
Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!"
How did you do that?!
I mean... I know you explained it and all, but... how did you do that?!
"I wasn't watching..."
"I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that."
"When it reopened..."
"When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple of weeks.
They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens."
Ah, I see now.
So you're the one who ruined it for everyone else. Gotcha.
(Great story, though.)
"When I was six..."
"When I was six my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn't really scratch out. So my bright 6-year-old brain told me to get into an all-fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely."
Imagine walking in on your kid and seeing this.
You'd think they were possessed.
"I punched myself..."
"I punched myself in the forehead during an improv comedy bit and gave myself a concussion."
This begs the question...
So are you really strong?
Or just really weak?
"Severed three tendons..."
"Severed three tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. Three surgeries over a bagel."
This one wins.
Sorry, everyone. You can all go home now.
"I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!"
"I had lost..."
"I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my folding pocket knife!"
It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up.
My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year."
We hope you're all thinking twice of playing with knives... or jumping off trucks... or even going outside.
Just stay indoors, preferably in bed. You should be safe. God-willing.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!