In a perfect world, we would all know exactly when we needed to nope the F out, and we'd all never need to use that knowledge because everyone would be rational and everywhere would be safe.
That is ten million percent NOT the world we live in. At all. Not even close.
Which is how we end up with Reddit threads like this one:
Be careful out there folks. People are out in these streets pooping, waving shot guns and maybe trying to kill you. So if your gut, your friends, or your friendly neighborhood police officer tell you to leave ... yeah ... maybe heed the message.
My old apartment had an outdoor swimming pool for residents. We were swimming in it one day with my 1 year old son and another family was also there swimming. They had three kids swimming while the mom and her sister were off to the side chatting on the patio. Their kids were probably 3, 5 and 7. I was swimming with my son when I saw my husband's eyes bug out of his head and said, "Let's go NOW!"
While I'm gathering our stuff, he whispers that he just saw the 3 year old poop diarrhea out of their swimsuit into the water. As we're packing up, we then notice the mom notice the kid has shit in her bathing suit. She has the kid take off her bottom bathing suit, put on some underwear and LET HER AND THE REST OF THE KIDS KEEP SWIMMING IN THE POOL!!!
I was so horrified but I also am not good with confrontations. We went back to our apt and called the apt manager who then had to go down to the pool and close up the pool for cleaning which takes 24 hours if it's liquid poop. We lost a little faith in humanity that day.
Back in like, 2007 me and my buddy were in high school and I had just gotten my drivers license. Get tickets to go see a show in Camden, we're from philly burbs. This is also my first time over in jersey without an adult. With my last $5 I buy a T-shirt from a guy outside the show (masters of metal tour, heaven and hell, Judas Priest, testament, and Motörhead. It was sick for high school me).
We go to drive over the bridge and they're like, there's a toll, pull off and go to the 7/11 around the corner, there's an atm. Ok sure. Do that and pull up to the 7/11 and it straight up looks like there's about to be a gang fight. Me and my scrawny friend are in a 1990 Ford Bronco btw. Put it in reverse as soon as we see what's going on.
We found a cop, explained the situation, he called us idiots and told us a way to sneak over the bridge. Fun night.
Had a knock on my door; opened it to find some salesmen trying to get people to sign up for ATT high speed internet. Half humored them since I wasn't thrilled about my internet, but during the conversation one let it slip that they knew where I worked. Tried to play it off as "well we provide service to such-and-such air force base, so we probably got your information from there," but that base has some 30k people and highly unlikely there is some comprehensive list.
He started asking questions about my employment, which was pretty sensitive at the time, and the conversation was getting uncomfortable.They hadn't provided IDs at this point, so I asked and they provided some faded, hardly legible copies and then asked to come inside.
Pretty promptly shut down the conversation and told them to leave. Talked to neighbors later and no one else had them visit. Not sure what they were after.
I was 14.
I was once selling newspapers door to door. Came up to this long apartment complex and before I could step off the sidewalk a guy hung out his top floor window, cocked a shotgun at me and screamed to get off his properly. I ran.
This was years ago. My older cousin (17 at the time) took my little brother (5) and sister (7) and me (9) out in a big city we live near and we were standing at this bus stop that was at a small square grass park, probably about 200 feet across. It was January and the park was surrounded by short bushes that still had Christmas lights on them. My brother and I began to wander, and my brother wandered a bit further than me, following a string of lights. A few minutes later I get this weird feeling and my head shoots up and about 30 feet away is my brother speaking with this old, dirty man. I saw the man reach his hand towards my brother and I heard him say "if you like Christmas lights, I have some really nice ones over here you'd love!" My brother grabbed his hand and they both started to walk away, but I caught up before they could turn the corner and snatched my brother back. The man immediately turned around and hurried away without a word, and I was too young and scared and confused to confront him.
I never told anyone about it until years later for some reason but I was so overwhelmed with the thought that I had just experienced one of those moments that could have completely altered my life in a matter of seconds. If I had looked up 5 seconds later, they would have turned the corner and disappeared into the city without a trace.
A Little Messy
I met a guy off tinder at night, we walked around the park near his house and he suggested we go back inside to play Mario Kart. He warned me that his place was a little messy and I said okay not a problem. I go inside and am absolutely SHOCKED.
He's a hoarder and lives with his parents. The entire apartment smelled like cat piss. Poor cat. I was panicking on the inside cause I have asthma and ! am a clean freak but I didn't want to make him feel bad. It was absolutely horrible and disgusting and so hard to breathe. I was getting some super creepy vibes from him too and I went to the bathroom and texted my friend to call me in 5 min for a level 10 emergency.
She called and was crying hysterically on the phone and I quickly got up and left.
I was a relatively new driver at the time. My little brother and I were driving through Kansas City on a road trip, and took a wrong turn. Got into a pretty seedy part of town and stopped to ask directions (this was way back before Google maps or GPS) from two police officers walking into a store.
They looked at me and then each other and said "Miss, you need to get back in your car. Now." Gave me good directions to get out, though.
A few years ago a man stabbed his brother, got in a car, drove to the city (where I was living) did some donuts in the middle of a busy intersection (right outside my window at the time) and then drove said car down a popular street with many shoppers on it and killed as many as he could. Donut marks were visible from my window for ages.
A couple months ago I was waiting at a different busy intersection in the city and a car started to do donuts in the middle of it. My immediate response was to just bolt and I ran into the nearest store. I didn't even think about it my brain just immediately assumed his next step was to use the car as a weapon. Eventually he drove off but my heart was beating very fast. Not that interesting but yeah
Nursing Home People
My elderly neighbor stopped by one day and asked to borrow my phone as his had broken. When I asked if he was ok, he stated that there were some people from the nursing home in his house that shouldn't have been there. We talked to the police, and he went home.
The police called me back with more information, so I went to my neighbor's house and started asking questions. He invited me in to talk to one of the people in question....but there wasn't anyone there.
Turns out, he was hard-core hallucinating. I noped out of there before calling the police back and asking for a wellness check. They took him away in an ambulance, and I never heard what happened after.
Was one of the scariest moments of my life, though!
I met Peter at work. He was funny and nice to me, even though I shouldn't have shrugged off the red flags. For instance, he's the first flat Earther I've met in real life. He's not dumb like I thought they all were, I thought he was just weird. I later realized it's because he has serious untreated mental issues. Probably schizophrenia.
Anyway, we got along pretty well and he told me he wouldn't come back to work on Monday, he was gonna quit. He asked me if I wanted to go smoke weed with him on Saturday in a big park downtown and I agreed. He told me before that he was pretty lonely, so I agreed partially because I felt bad for him.
A little backstory to understand how much I messed up by meeting him: he told me that he sometimes picture himself destroying someone's head with a baseball bat. I thought we all get those kind of images sometimes and I didn't think much of that. He also told me that when he saw a co-worker of ours bending over, he pictured himself assaulting her. Not You don't need to tell me I was dumb to shrug that off, I already know that. It did raise a red flag, but I chose to ignore it.
So it's Saturday evening and I'm hanging out with him at the park. He told me he was in love with me and he thought I knew it. I didn't. I wouldn't have agreed to meet him if I did. He told me I could kiss him if I wanted, I awkwardly responded that I don't wanna do that. He seemed disappointed, but he took it well.
Then, the flat-Earth thing came up. I asked him what anyone would gain about hiding the fact that it's flat. I don't remember what he responded, I just remember that he was speaking really fast and moving his arms very fast too, he was just saying non-sense like the father creators are hidden in a dome under the Earth. At that moment, it's like I left my body and I was seeing myself, a girl sitting on a bench talking to a clearly mentally ill person. Like, completely out of his mind. It's like an alarm went on in my head, it's hard to describe it. I guess it's survival instinct. All I could think about was "You need to get the hell out of there NOW".
I told him that I wasn't feeling well and that I wanted to go home. He said "Already? But we just got here! Stay a bit for me!" And I insisted that I needed to leave. He got angrier and angrier, then I got up and started walking out of the park and he was following me, still trying to convince me to not leave.
He knew the area pretty well and I didn't. I looked on my phone to get the direction to the nearest subway station, then he told me "You don't need that, I know the way. Follow me, we'll cut through by this alley." Something told me to look at my GPS anyway. It wasn't the right direction at all. I told him that no, it's the opposite way. What he responded confirmed my fear:
"Oh, you wanted the fastest way?"
Yeah, no sht I wanted the fastest, most logical way. Also you wanna "cut" through an alley, but at the same time you want to make a detour? I'm still convinced to this day that he was trying to lure me in this alley to assault me, maybe murder me afterwards.
I was walking at a faster pace and he kept following me. At some point, he started crying and he tried to guilt-trip me by saying he shouldn't try to make new friends anymore. I didn't care about his tears, I knew what he tried to do to me. A miracle happened at that moment, I walked pass a bus stop and there was one coming! I wasn't even sure where it was leading to, but I jumped on it anyway. While I was climbing the bus' stairs and paying my ticket, he was calling me a whore and so on, I thought he was gonna get on the bus with me but fortunately he didn't.
I got home safe and I'm so thankful for that. I'll never ignore the red flags again.
A Crying Woman
I was walking along with my friends at around 6-7 (it was totally dark cause December) and this crying woman approached my friend, begging for help. I don't know what is it with my friend A, maybe she looks friendly or naive, but all strangers/weirdos approach her.
Immediately, A agrees, and the rest of them too, but I'm suspicious. The woman goes "come with me come with me I need help there's someone after me" and I stop her and suggest we should go into some building, or call the police, but she immediately balks and insists we must come with her.
I had to physically drag my friends away from her who still wanted to go back. This is a common trafficker ruse, especially against young women/teenagers, to get them into dark and secluded spaces
When my brother and I were 14 and 12, we were at the park not too far from my house playing on the swings and whatnot, this kid (8-9 maybe?) comes over and joins us, which we were fine with
A couple minutes into playing he says to us "do you wanna come into my daddy's car" we say no, he asks again, we say no, the kid says that he's gonna "get his daddy and that his daddy is gonna take us home so we can play some more"
The kid runs off to get his dad, my brother looks at me and says "we're leaving, right now" and grabs my wrist and takes us home
After that, we had my older siblings come along with us to the park.
Get To The Train
I was young, and me and my brother were downtown. I noticed there was a big dude who'd been following us for the past 10 minutes (And I mean he was blending into the crowd, but seemed to not be going anywhere but where we were.) Said we needed to get into the train and leave, I was tired. We managed to get away, but I saw the guy standing on the platform.
A week later the man was on the news: Serial child rapist.
I was 19, 5 months pregnant. it was like 12 or 1 AM. I had a really bad craving for an apple so I left to go walk to the store which was a 6-7 minute walk. I asked my boyfriend to go with me but he refused.
I got to the store and it was pretty empty. I saw one guy in the produce section. He had a hat on and kind of pulled it down over his face a little bit when he saw me. He also was talking on the phone the whole time but started talking quieter when I got close. He had a cart and every once in a while he'd put something in it.
The entire time I was deciding what kind of apple to get, he kept looking at me every few seconds. Then I went to a different aisle to get something and he'd show up a few seconds later. I thought he just happened to need in the same aisle as me for the first few times that happened but then I started to think he was following me because everywhere I went, he happened to be in not long after I went there.
I started going down random aisles to see if he'd follow and sure enough, about thirty seconds after I came in the aisle, he'd come in from the other end. I went to the checkout and started scanning things. You know how right before you get to the checkout there's candy there? He stopped in front of that and was staring like he was trying to decide what to get but the whole time I could feel him staring at me.
When I paid for my things, I started heading for the doors and noticed that he had turned his cart around and was heading the same direction as me but still in the main aisle. When I walked out the door, I turned around one last time and I saw him ditch his cart full of stuff and start walking faster to the door. I started running when I got outside and saw him get into a car.
This store was connected to other stores and there were sort of pillar things connecting the walkway in front of the store to the roof. I saw his car come closer so I moved behind the pillars so he couldn't see me. I saw him go to the stop sign, wait a few minutes, and turn left. As soon as I couldn't see him anymore, I took off running as fast as I could, which was hard since I was pregnant. I didn't stop running the whole way back and never saw him again. he really freaked me out and I yelled at my boyfriend for not going with me when I got home.
You ever entered a Shrike's pantry? Small animals skewered onto thorns as far as the eye can see. A glare from those seemingly cute birds has a sinister undertone.
Hang In There
Me and a friend were walking around some stores near a beach at night. We were walking along and had a good time. Were were walking my friend leans in and whispers "There's a guy following us." I immediately want to look behind but stopped.
We crossed the street and he followed us we went back to some of the stores we were in before and he followed us we eventually went into an arcade and just went into the back and stayed for a while. We called someone to pick us up and were about to leave but were stopped.
This old lady came up to us and started speaking to me and my friend about some very personal things going on in our lives and told us to "hang in there" while giving us both each $20. Our pick up got there right after this and as soon as we saw it we bolted towards it.
I have no clue if those were just a coincidence or not but either way it creeped us out and we never went back there again.
When I used to work at panda express, we had a guy come in and just stand at the back of the line for a good 5 minutes, letting other people go ahead of him. One of the girls who works the front counter, as well as myself, noticed that he was intensely staring at me, and turning his eyes and head to follow me wherever I moved too. It took a minute to register who he was, and when my co-worker commented on how he was staring at me like he wanted to fight me, I made mention to her that i recognize him, and he's my then girlfriend's ex-husband. I had been told that he wasn't the most stable person, and that he had a serious temper. He was also a good 6 inches taller than me, and probably a good 30-40 pounds heavier.
I'm not a coward, but I am disabled (I have gout in my arm, nerve and tendon damage in my right hand, a knee with very little cartilage in it, as well as a partially amputated foot. not really in any position to be fighting anyone), and no one wants to get their ass kicked, so I nope'd out of there to the back of the restaurant, and played it off like I had something to do back there(co-worker played along a bit. The store isn't very big, so it's easy to hear people in the kitchen speaking to each other at normal volume). I sat back there until I was given the all clear.
That night when I saw my girlfriend, I told her what happened. She told me she had told him about me, and where I worked. She then revealed to me that she wasn't divorced, and was in fact still married to him, and told him that she and I were sleeping together.
In the end, despite unknowingly being used to end a marriage, I felt like sht, and eventually messaged the guy on Facebook to apologize for what occurred. He told me I should get tested, because he'd suspected her of cheating on him for a while with several other guys.
We were exploring an abandoned mental asylum that had been overgrown, suffered from squatters over time, and was tucked away where most people wouldn't know exists (this is in western Maryland). After stumbling across some creepy sht, we see a man in the doorway of a building off to the side, and we still somehow didn't say "we need to leave now" just yet.
We advanced to another building and as we are crossing through the doorway, we see a cop car at the corner. Their lights go on and we book it out of there. Someone fell while doing the typical horror film 'look back while running away on uneven terrain' thing and I ended up having to carry them while we ran away (no man - or in this case woman - left behind!) and they ended up on crutches.
Needless to say this was my last time UrbExing.
What's that old saying? "Make sure you're always wearing clean underwear in case you're in an accident. What would the medics think."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get it.
That saying can be applied to many aspects of life.
What "surprising" items are hidden in your drawers? Or under you bed?
Or dear Lord... what is on your phone?
We all have ownership over a belonging or six that could cause quite a stir.
Especially if we aren't there to explain it's existence.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularityGiphy
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemenGiphy
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonrealGiphy
Holiday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_HippoGiphy
Who doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
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I'll be honest, for most of my life I have had exactly zero daily routine.
The chaos was something of a calling card—but not one that was necessarily good for me.
Spoiler alert, I had a raging case of undiagnosed neuroodivergent shenanigans—and in recent years I've been able to get a better handle on being me.
As a result, a daily routine has sort of developed.
Reddit user Money-Associate1601 asked:
"What’s something you look forward to every single day?"
A few years ago I wouldn't have had an answer to this, but as I read through I suddenly realized that I have one.
Also, that I enjoy it!
Mornings spent relaxing in the hammock before my day gets punted into shenanigans by my kids, my dogs, my job, or some unholy combo of the three have become crucial for my mental health.
Huh. Who knew?
Let's see what Reddit loves about their routines.
Going To Work (!)
"Going to work."
"It sounds strange, but I love it because I'm working with my son. He’s 23. I’m 50. We spend M-F working together building homes. We laugh all day long."
"It’s the happiest time of my life. I know it’s finite, so I’m enjoying it as much as possible while it lasts."
"This hits me(23) so much. My dad (50) gave me a job at his company a year ago and always tells me how proud he his of me."
"Just before Christmas he got sick and almost died. When he got out of the hospital he told me how much he cherished our relationship and how it meant everything to him."
"It makes me emotional every time I read things like this."
"My brother and I did landscaping together on the weekends. We use to complain about it, but after we sold the business I really missed spending time with him."
"What I miss the most is eating lunch together and riding home after a long day."
"Changing out of work clothes and into pajamas"
"My pajamas are my real clothes. Everything else is a facade."
"The best thing about the pandemic: I work from home all the time and I can wear pajamas all the time!"
"Sometimes I get home by 3pm from work and get right into my PJs."
"Even if I’m going out later, I’ll just change out of my PJs when I need to. If I’m home for an hour or longer, I’m in my PJs."
"It’s the only way."
Pick Up Time
"Picking my daughters up from daycare."
"As soon as they see me, they drop whatever they were doing and run to me with the biggest smile on their faces and yelling 'Daddyyy!' "
"The absolute sh*ttiest day at work just disappears in that moment."
"Basically anything to do with my kids. Waking them up for school and hanging out in bed for those 5 minutes in the morning is always so much fun."
"Meeting my daughter off the bus from school. Seeing my son when he gets home from preschool and just wants to play."
"Kids are the best cure for a sh*t day at work."
"My 2 year old screams 'IT’S MOM!!!' in absolute delight every day when I get home from work. Nothing else compares!"
Employee Of The Month
"My baby dog’s big morning stretch. He's actually a senior but he will stay about 5 lbs for forever, so we call him our baby dog."
"Oh! And then watching him go back to sleep in his office bed when I start work. He works so hard. Employee of the month, every month."
"I love working in the morning and then at about 11 am my dog finally gets up. She does her morning back scratches on the carpet and then demands snuggles."
"It's my favorite unscheduled break time that happens daily."
"My cat Ygritte is my supervisor. She works so hard sleeping and making biscuits on blankets/beds/boxes with blankets."
"She yells at me if I stop working, yells at me when it is break time, and starts getting in between myself and my computer 15 minutes before the end of the day."
"She won't stop until I clock out, it is her everyday being like Nahhhhh you done. Pet me instead."
"She is the best boss I have ever had."
"I live at a friends family house. They offered me shelter after I became homeless and every night I go to my car to read."
"I find that reading in my car every night before going to sleep gives this family a chance to get a break from seeing me and I get a chance to be calm and away from everyone."
"They are amazing people and It’s been so fun. I’m so thankful that they let me stay in their living room, but they tend to use it at night to watch a movie or have family time so I take a chance to let them be and I get a chance to learn something and relax in my car."
Fueled By Coffee
"My morning coffee. I get a different coffee every week and drinking it is the most relaxing part of my day."
"I had a Colombian blend last week, this week I got a black roast that is so strong I swear its making me grow a beard."
"I'm up at 5 every morning for 'me time', which you dont get with 3 small kids and making my coffee and staring into space for an hour is amazing."
"Coffee is mine as well."
"I love to get a big-ass black coffee with a little cream, put on a good podcast and chill out for a bit while I wake up. Quite possibly the only thing I consistently look forward to every single day."
"YES! I set up the coffee pot the night before, every night."
"In the morning my husband gets up to start it and crawls back into bed while it brews. When it's ready he puts his robe on and quietly brings me a cup, sets it on my nightstand and goes into the living room to peacefully wake up on his own, staring at his phone."
"In between alarm snoozes I briefly wake up and take a few sips of coffee. After several snoozes, I need a refill and that's usually when I get up to join him. It's such a great way to wake up, I love it so much."
"Some mornings he has to just get up and go off to a job site but no matter how early it is, he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before giving me a kiss and going. He's the best."
"That mid-day text from my husband, asking me if I can please come home early because he and the dogs miss me, usually accompanied by a photo of the 4 of them looking wistfully at the camera."
"It never, ever gets old. So thankful for all of them!"
"Ugh. Mine always wants to know when I’ll be back because he wants something."
"Oh my god I want this. You are so lucky."
"I also want this in my life."
"All I get is calls/messages from scammers or customer service."
Observing This Scene
"The sheer, spontaneous joy my dogs have when my wife gets home."
"I tell them 'Who's home?' Then they hear the garage door opening and know Mommy's Home!"
"Batsh*t-crazy pandemonium ensues until I open the side door of garage. Even cuter, my wife is just as happy to see them, too!"
"Nothing beats observing this scene every day, for 11 years."
"I adopted a little baby potato two years ago. Now he’s a big old spaz and he has an absolute fit with joy whenever daddy gets home from work."
"He’s so excited he can’t even sit still for pets and kisses. Jumping up and down on the furniture, running around in circles, pure happiness."
"I have 30 mins in my day in between work where I just sit on a bench in this park."
"No phone, no earphones, nothing but just me enjoying the sound of birds and whooshing of the trees. Feel most at peace during that time."
"I have recently started doing this towards the end of the day."
"It has started filling me up with peace and enthusiasm. I highly recommend this. Half an hour, daily, setting sun/rising sun, somewhere not too noisy, near water if possible."
"Time like this is essential! Good for you for giving it to yourself!"
"The last 15 years of my working life was running a route, checking into about 235 businesses each month. It kept me very busy, I seldom had time for lunch over 1/2 hour."
"I always thought how nice it would be when I retire, to have time to set down and actually enjoy lunch."
"Fast forward 5 years, I've been retired and now I get one full hour of lunch and reading whatever book has my attention for those 5 days a week instead."
So what have we learned today, dear readers?
The thing most of these Redditors looked forward to was a moment of peace or affection.
Whether it was from a pet, a kid, a book, or a hot cup of coffee it seems people wanted a literal or proverbial hug.
Does that track for you? What's the part of your day you look forward to most.
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TikTok trends move fast. The hashtags and popular "sounds" go in and out of popularity sometimes within a week.
While some trends are fun and catch at first, if they're dragged on for too long they can become annoying and even painful to see repeatedly.
Some of them are even harmful, like pranks that other people didn't consent to. It's not new to TikTok, but the easily marketable platform didn't help stop them.
We went to AskReddit to hear which trends make people the most angry.
Redditor JaneDoe1967 asked:
"What TikTok trend gave you anger issues?"
This list might make you angry, so reader beware.
Dancing while oversharing.
"The ones where they dance to some sh*tty choreography and tell a super personal story. You’re going to do the stanky leg while you talk about your mom’s cancer? Strange to me lol."
"There was one where a daughter danced in front of her very ill dad who was lying on a hospital bed."
"There's also the one where a mom dances next to her newborn that's hospitalized."
Harassing people in public.
"Harassing innocent people who are just trying to buy groceries."
"Back in Vine days, I was at Walmart getting acrylic paint for a theater project. It was like 1am and my sister and I had been awake for hours trying to finish a project for a community theater show."
"Then some blonde kid runs up with an air horn and blows it in our faces and runs away."
"Our friends start sending us his video saying 'omg is this you and sister?!'"
"It was Logan Paul. F*ck that guy."
"Logan Paul video. This was surprisingly easy to find."
The fake pranks.
"The fake pranks with the extremely over exaggerated reactions, and perfectly scripted dialogue."
"I die a little bit every time one sneaks-in on my For You page."
"I hate pranks. I mean some are funny but most are just cringe whether they're real or not. Especially when targeted at kids. I think that's just mean."
"Any 'prank' video where someone leads their SO to believe they are being cheated on"
"Like there was one where someone would pretend to accidentally text their SO 'they're gone now, you can come over' and then film their SO's reaction."
"Like that shit isn't funny, and I would 100% breakup with someone if they did that to me."
"My favorite is the one where some dude tried this and his girl dead a** broke up with him because it was such a sh*t joke."
Not really adding to the joke.
"Lip syncing standup comedy. Your silent delivery doesn’t not enhance the joke, it makes it weird."
"Oh, and duets where it’s just the other person reacting/laughing. Especially when they’ve obviously seen the video before and are faking it this time."
"I do not understand reaction videos. Like why do people watch them? Is it to validate their own reaction?"
Licking ice cream and putting it back.
"That b*tch who licked a tub of ice cream then put it back in the supermarket fridge."
"I was a retail worker during that time, and that was hell on earth. Most ice cream companies at that time actually didn’t have plastic seals over the product. So people were demanding to know why the seal was broken when it was never in fact there. Now about 90% of them do have seals. Long story short: I got yelled at a lot and we had to throw out/send back a lot of ice cream."
The "Oh No" song.
"Oh no Oh no Oh no no no."
"It’s such a shame because the original, by the Shangri-Las is an absolute banger."
Videos that need a second part.
"Anything with Like for Part 2. All videos that are multiple parts drives me up the wall because you cant just scroll to the next you have to move to their page and find your last watched then go up from there its frustrating. I feel old."
"If there even is a Part 2. Sometimes there isn't. And sometimes they post the Part 2 months later so they're hard to find. At least we can say the youngsters know how to get attention."
Exploiting disabled people for views.
"Filming their autistic or mentally challenged relative that is clearly incapable of consenting to being the subject of all their TikToks."
"I hate the TikToks of kids that are disabled and the parents say they're 'raising awareness' K cool but I don't need to know your kids private health information."
"Yeah they can raise awareness about a disability or disease without plastering videos of their kids all over the internet."
Faking illness or neurodiversity for fun.
"People faking disorders of any kind and think they 'quirky' or 'cool,' depression and ADHD is not a fun combination."
"Exactly. I have a handful of the disorders that are constantly being faked (including tics) and I swear to f*cking god you can immediately tell who is faking because they. Are. Not. Fun. Tics f*ckin hurt."
"The most f*cked thing is they make the disorders look like some sort of joke."
If you haven't heard of these before, don't look them up.
It will probably only incite rage upon seeing them.
Or you'll be left with a song stuck in your head.
Hopefully, the trends that are harmful to others end as quickly as they took off.
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Games are a great form of recreation.
They can bring us closer together with friends and family (or drive a wedge between us—looking at you, Mario Party), and provide an excellent way to blow off some steam by ourselves.
Not all games are totally straightforward about how you win them, though. Sometimes you win the game by losing.
Redditor sidasauras asked:
"What is a game you win by losing?"
"You win at golf by playing less golf than everybody else."
"Yeah but generally you play more golf to hopefully play less golf."
"I've never played any golf, so I win by default."
"i'm not golfing right now and i'm kicking ass at it."
"Pumping up an auction so the winner pays more. I need Kevin Garnett to pay more for that black opal."
"The trick is to scout out your escape routes so you can bail if they don't raise above you at the end."
"There’s even an economic term for that; it’s called the 'winner’s curse.' If it’s an item with a specific but unknown value (not something like a painting that has subjective value), the person who most overestimates the value of the item will win the auction."
"Monopoly, because once you lose you finally don't have to play anymore."
"Games like Monopoly you have to play to absolutely crush everybody else, by clever use of the actual rules, so nobody ever asks you to play again."
"this also works for most games. For games that allow a "shared" victory, you still crush everybody, for the same reason."
"Yes, for example, you don't build hotels unless you have the cash reserves and open property to immediately rebuy all the houses."
"There is a finite number of houses. You don't add more when you run out. In this way, you have 3 properties, with 4 houses each, so you have 12 houses off the market."
"The only time you build a hotel is when you can rebuy those 12 houses in one turn in order to not let your opponents buy them. It's about creating an artificial scarcity to starve out the competition."
"You only progress in the game story-wise by dying, so yeah."
"Can’t wait to play this game. Heard such amazing things."
"I was going to say hades. Brilliant game, dying doesn't make you mad or set you back."
"Played that with rum on my 30th birthday. I even remember part of it."
"My friend and I made a really good beer pong team. One night he had beat everyone else at the party, some of them twice. Then we got cocky and started playing with whiskey to our opponents’ beer. Our play deteriorated quickly and we got very drunk."
The Mad Magazine Board Game
"The Mad Magazine Board Game"
"Had that! Took it to school to one day to play it with friends. Forgot to bring it home. It was gone the next day."
"That's the one I was looking for. A friend of mine is a bit of a collector and he has that. We were talking about Monopoly one night and he later broke that out for us to play."
One Night Ultimate Werewolf
"One Night Ultimate Werewolf has this as a character class."
"The game is divided into two teams - the villagers who are trying to hunt down the werewolves and the werewolves who are trying to get the villagers to execute an innocent person. But the game has a few fun roles which mess things up."
"The Minion is technically a villager, but he's on the Werewolves' team. He is trying to get a villager killed in order to ensure a Werewolf victory, but if sowing discord doesn't help, he can let himself become the prime suspect and get voted to die, which causes a Werewolf victory."
"The Tanner card, however, is just trying to get themselves killed. He hates his job and he hates his life and expressly wants to die. He is trying to ensure that he is killed by whomever."
"The Tanner is technically on his own separate team and is trying to convince the others to kill him. If he is killed at the end, then neither the Villagers or the Werewolves win - he's the sole winner and the two teams lose."
That One Episode Of Fear Factor
"There was an episode of Fear Factor where a group of guys had to milk a goat with their mouth. The guy that lost said something like "well at least I suck the least" and walked off like a boss."
"I know that’s the point of the show, but I seriously wonder how people could throw away their dignity on TV for money."
"But seriously, what writer is in an office brainstorming these things??? 'HOW ABOUT WE MAKE THEM SUCK MILK OUT OF A GOAT WHILE THEIR S.O. IS DROWNING IN CONCRETE'"
The Game (Yes, That One)
"The one you just lost by remembering that you're playing it."
"I was looking for this comment. OP made me lose again."
"There was a long period of time where I forgot how you played, but then I read a comment explaining the rules, and I sadly lost once again."
Games With Kids
"Any game you play with a little kid...it's actually hard to lose sometimes"
"Kinda cute when you're throwing and they're giving their all and barely beat you. My nephew learned not to gloat too much whenever he wins. Rematches where I absolutely crush him tend to happen if he's a sore winner."
"I learned Pinochle - a trick-taking card game similar to Euchre or 500 but with points for card combinations awarded ahead of the tricks - from my grandmother. At one point, when I was a brash teen, I made the mistake of taunting her with something to the tune of 'you can do better.'"
"She's a wonderfully gentle old lady, and she doted on her grandkids - but she learned Pinochle from her father, my great-grandfather, and he played to win."
"I found out that day that she could too."
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