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People Share Their 'We Need To Leave Right Now' Experiences

People Share Their 'We Need To Leave Right Now' Experiences
Paul Bradbury / Getty Images

In a perfect world, we would all know exactly when we needed to nope the F out, and we'd all never need to use that knowledge because everyone would be rational and everywhere would be safe.

That is ten million percent NOT the world we live in. At all. Not even close.


Which is how we end up with Reddit threads like this one:

What was your biggest 'we need to leave... Now!' moment?

Be careful out there folks. People are out in these streets pooping, waving shot guns and maybe trying to kill you. So if your gut, your friends, or your friendly neighborhood police officer tell you to leave ... yeah ... maybe heed the message.


The Pool

Giphy

My old apartment had an outdoor swimming pool for residents. We were swimming in it one day with my 1 year old son and another family was also there swimming. They had three kids swimming while the mom and her sister were off to the side chatting on the patio. Their kids were probably 3, 5 and 7. I was swimming with my son when I saw my husband's eyes bug out of his head and said, "Let's go NOW!"

While I'm gathering our stuff, he whispers that he just saw the 3 year old poop diarrhea out of their swimsuit into the water. As we're packing up, we then notice the mom notice the kid has shit in her bathing suit. She has the kid take off her bottom bathing suit, put on some underwear and LET HER AND THE REST OF THE KIDS KEEP SWIMMING IN THE POOL!!!

I was so horrified but I also am not good with confrontations. We went back to our apt and called the apt manager who then had to go down to the pool and close up the pool for cleaning which takes 24 hours if it's liquid poop. We lost a little faith in humanity that day.

- proudmaryjane

Camden

Back in like, 2007 me and my buddy were in high school and I had just gotten my drivers license. Get tickets to go see a show in Camden, we're from philly burbs. This is also my first time over in jersey without an adult. With my last $5 I buy a T-shirt from a guy outside the show (masters of metal tour, heaven and hell, Judas Priest, testament, and Motörhead. It was sick for high school me).

We go to drive over the bridge and they're like, there's a toll, pull off and go to the 7/11 around the corner, there's an atm. Ok sure. Do that and pull up to the 7/11 and it straight up looks like there's about to be a gang fight. Me and my scrawny friend are in a 1990 Ford Bronco btw. Put it in reverse as soon as we see what's going on.

We found a cop, explained the situation, he called us idiots and told us a way to sneak over the bridge. Fun night.

- jellis1014

Salesmen

Had a knock on my door; opened it to find some salesmen trying to get people to sign up for ATT high speed internet. Half humored them since I wasn't thrilled about my internet, but during the conversation one let it slip that they knew where I worked. Tried to play it off as "well we provide service to such-and-such air force base, so we probably got your information from there," but that base has some 30k people and highly unlikely there is some comprehensive list.

He started asking questions about my employment, which was pretty sensitive at the time, and the conversation was getting uncomfortable.They hadn't provided IDs at this point, so I asked and they provided some faded, hardly legible copies and then asked to come inside.

Pretty promptly shut down the conversation and told them to leave. Talked to neighbors later and no one else had them visit. Not sure what they were after.

- Prometheus2508

I Ran...

I was 14.

I was once selling newspapers door to door. Came up to this long apartment complex and before I could step off the sidewalk a guy hung out his top floor window, cocked a shotgun at me and screamed to get off his properly. I ran.

- Disordely_Chaos

Merry Christmas

This was years ago. My older cousin (17 at the time) took my little brother (5) and sister (7) and me (9) out in a big city we live near and we were standing at this bus stop that was at a small square grass park, probably about 200 feet across. It was January and the park was surrounded by short bushes that still had Christmas lights on them. My brother and I began to wander, and my brother wandered a bit further than me, following a string of lights. A few minutes later I get this weird feeling and my head shoots up and about 30 feet away is my brother speaking with this old, dirty man. I saw the man reach his hand towards my brother and I heard him say "if you like Christmas lights, I have some really nice ones over here you'd love!" My brother grabbed his hand and they both started to walk away, but I caught up before they could turn the corner and snatched my brother back. The man immediately turned around and hurried away without a word, and I was too young and scared and confused to confront him.

I never told anyone about it until years later for some reason but I was so overwhelmed with the thought that I had just experienced one of those moments that could have completely altered my life in a matter of seconds. If I had looked up 5 seconds later, they would have turned the corner and disappeared into the city without a trace.

- AlexSangThat

A Little Messy

I met a guy off tinder at night, we walked around the park near his house and he suggested we go back inside to play Mario Kart. He warned me that his place was a little messy and I said okay not a problem. I go inside and am absolutely SHOCKED.

He's a hoarder and lives with his parents. The entire apartment smelled like cat piss. Poor cat. I was panicking on the inside cause I have asthma and ! am a clean freak but I didn't want to make him feel bad. It was absolutely horrible and disgusting and so hard to breathe. I was getting some super creepy vibes from him too and I went to the bathroom and texted my friend to call me in 5 min for a level 10 emergency.

She called and was crying hysterically on the phone and I quickly got up and left.

- jonesvery_

Now.

I was a relatively new driver at the time. My little brother and I were driving through Kansas City on a road trip, and took a wrong turn. Got into a pretty seedy part of town and stopped to ask directions (this was way back before Google maps or GPS) from two police officers walking into a store.

They looked at me and then each other and said "Miss, you need to get back in your car. Now." Gave me good directions to get out, though.

- babyeatfood

Donuts

Giphy

A few years ago a man stabbed his brother, got in a car, drove to the city (where I was living) did some donuts in the middle of a busy intersection (right outside my window at the time) and then drove said car down a popular street with many shoppers on it and killed as many as he could. Donut marks were visible from my window for ages.

A couple months ago I was waiting at a different busy intersection in the city and a car started to do donuts in the middle of it. My immediate response was to just bolt and I ran into the nearest store. I didn't even think about it my brain just immediately assumed his next step was to use the car as a weapon. Eventually he drove off but my heart was beating very fast. Not that interesting but yeah

- Embershift

Nursing Home People

My elderly neighbor stopped by one day and asked to borrow my phone as his had broken. When I asked if he was ok, he stated that there were some people from the nursing home in his house that shouldn't have been there. We talked to the police, and he went home.

The police called me back with more information, so I went to my neighbor's house and started asking questions. He invited me in to talk to one of the people in question....but there wasn't anyone there.

Turns out, he was hard-core hallucinating. I noped out of there before calling the police back and asking for a wellness check. They took him away in an ambulance, and I never heard what happened after.

Was one of the scariest moments of my life, though!

- LadyErynn

Peter

I met Peter at work. He was funny and nice to me, even though I shouldn't have shrugged off the red flags. For instance, he's the first flat Earther I've met in real life. He's not dumb like I thought they all were, I thought he was just weird. I later realized it's because he has serious untreated mental issues. Probably schizophrenia.

Anyway, we got along pretty well and he told me he wouldn't come back to work on Monday, he was gonna quit. He asked me if I wanted to go smoke weed with him on Saturday in a big park downtown and I agreed. He told me before that he was pretty lonely, so I agreed partially because I felt bad for him.

A little backstory to understand how much I messed up by meeting him: he told me that he sometimes picture himself destroying someone's head with a baseball bat. I thought we all get those kind of images sometimes and I didn't think much of that. He also told me that when he saw a co-worker of ours bending over, he pictured himself assaulting her. Not You don't need to tell me I was dumb to shrug that off, I already know that. It did raise a red flag, but I chose to ignore it.

So it's Saturday evening and I'm hanging out with him at the park. He told me he was in love with me and he thought I knew it. I didn't. I wouldn't have agreed to meet him if I did. He told me I could kiss him if I wanted, I awkwardly responded that I don't wanna do that. He seemed disappointed, but he took it well.

Then, the flat-Earth thing came up. I asked him what anyone would gain about hiding the fact that it's flat. I don't remember what he responded, I just remember that he was speaking really fast and moving his arms very fast too, he was just saying non-sense like the father creators are hidden in a dome under the Earth. At that moment, it's like I left my body and I was seeing myself, a girl sitting on a bench talking to a clearly mentally ill person. Like, completely out of his mind. It's like an alarm went on in my head, it's hard to describe it. I guess it's survival instinct. All I could think about was "You need to get the hell out of there NOW".

I told him that I wasn't feeling well and that I wanted to go home. He said "Already? But we just got here! Stay a bit for me!" And I insisted that I needed to leave. He got angrier and angrier, then I got up and started walking out of the park and he was following me, still trying to convince me to not leave.

He knew the area pretty well and I didn't. I looked on my phone to get the direction to the nearest subway station, then he told me "You don't need that, I know the way. Follow me, we'll cut through by this alley." Something told me to look at my GPS anyway. It wasn't the right direction at all. I told him that no, it's the opposite way. What he responded confirmed my fear:

"Oh, you wanted the fastest way?"

Yeah, no sht I wanted the fastest, most logical way. Also you wanna "cut" through an alley, but at the same time you want to make a detour? I'm still convinced to this day that he was trying to lure me in this alley to assault me, maybe murder me afterwards.

I was walking at a faster pace and he kept following me. At some point, he started crying and he tried to guilt-trip me by saying he shouldn't try to make new friends anymore. I didn't care about his tears, I knew what he tried to do to me. A miracle happened at that moment, I walked pass a bus stop and there was one coming! I wasn't even sure where it was leading to, but I jumped on it anyway. While I was climbing the bus' stairs and paying my ticket, he was calling me a whore and so on, I thought he was gonna get on the bus with me but fortunately he didn't.

I got home safe and I'm so thankful for that. I'll never ignore the red flags again.

- marie-llama

A Crying Woman

I was walking along with my friends at around 6-7 (it was totally dark cause December) and this crying woman approached my friend, begging for help. I don't know what is it with my friend A, maybe she looks friendly or naive, but all strangers/weirdos approach her.

Immediately, A agrees, and the rest of them too, but I'm suspicious. The woman goes "come with me come with me I need help there's someone after me" and I stop her and suggest we should go into some building, or call the police, but she immediately balks and insists we must come with her.

I had to physically drag my friends away from her who still wanted to go back. This is a common trafficker ruse, especially against young women/teenagers, to get them into dark and secluded spaces

- bauliya

Daddy

When my brother and I were 14 and 12, we were at the park not too far from my house playing on the swings and whatnot, this kid (8-9 maybe?) comes over and joins us, which we were fine with

A couple minutes into playing he says to us "do you wanna come into my daddy's car" we say no, he asks again, we say no, the kid says that he's gonna "get his daddy and that his daddy is gonna take us home so we can play some more"

The kid runs off to get his dad, my brother looks at me and says "we're leaving, right now" and grabs my wrist and takes us home

After that, we had my older siblings come along with us to the park.

- AmazingAbel_

Get To The Train

I was young, and me and my brother were downtown. I noticed there was a big dude who'd been following us for the past 10 minutes (And I mean he was blending into the crowd, but seemed to not be going anywhere but where we were.) Said we needed to get into the train and leave, I was tired. We managed to get away, but I saw the guy standing on the platform.

A week later the man was on the news: Serial child rapist.

- TheMiningKnight

An Apple

Giphy

I was 19, 5 months pregnant. it was like 12 or 1 AM. I had a really bad craving for an apple so I left to go walk to the store which was a 6-7 minute walk. I asked my boyfriend to go with me but he refused.

I got to the store and it was pretty empty. I saw one guy in the produce section. He had a hat on and kind of pulled it down over his face a little bit when he saw me. He also was talking on the phone the whole time but started talking quieter when I got close. He had a cart and every once in a while he'd put something in it.

The entire time I was deciding what kind of apple to get, he kept looking at me every few seconds. Then I went to a different aisle to get something and he'd show up a few seconds later. I thought he just happened to need in the same aisle as me for the first few times that happened but then I started to think he was following me because everywhere I went, he happened to be in not long after I went there.

I started going down random aisles to see if he'd follow and sure enough, about thirty seconds after I came in the aisle, he'd come in from the other end. I went to the checkout and started scanning things. You know how right before you get to the checkout there's candy there? He stopped in front of that and was staring like he was trying to decide what to get but the whole time I could feel him staring at me.

When I paid for my things, I started heading for the doors and noticed that he had turned his cart around and was heading the same direction as me but still in the main aisle. When I walked out the door, I turned around one last time and I saw him ditch his cart full of stuff and start walking faster to the door. I started running when I got outside and saw him get into a car.

This store was connected to other stores and there were sort of pillar things connecting the walkway in front of the store to the roof. I saw his car come closer so I moved behind the pillars so he couldn't see me. I saw him go to the stop sign, wait a few minutes, and turn left. As soon as I couldn't see him anymore, I took off running as fast as I could, which was hard since I was pregnant. I didn't stop running the whole way back and never saw him again. he really freaked me out and I yelled at my boyfriend for not going with me when I got home.

- practicalmailbox

A Glare 

You ever entered a Shrike's pantry? Small animals skewered onto thorns as far as the eye can see. A glare from those seemingly cute birds has a sinister undertone.

- staraptor_J

Hang In There

Me and a friend were walking around some stores near a beach at night. We were walking along and had a good time. Were were walking my friend leans in and whispers "There's a guy following us." I immediately want to look behind but stopped.

We crossed the street and he followed us we went back to some of the stores we were in before and he followed us we eventually went into an arcade and just went into the back and stayed for a while. We called someone to pick us up and were about to leave but were stopped.

This old lady came up to us and started speaking to me and my friend about some very personal things going on in our lives and told us to "hang in there" while giving us both each $20. Our pick up got there right after this and as soon as we saw it we bolted towards it.

I have no clue if those were just a coincidence or not but either way it creeped us out and we never went back there again.

- gunbuilt

Panda Express

When I used to work at panda express, we had a guy come in and just stand at the back of the line for a good 5 minutes, letting other people go ahead of him. One of the girls who works the front counter, as well as myself, noticed that he was intensely staring at me, and turning his eyes and head to follow me wherever I moved too. It took a minute to register who he was, and when my co-worker commented on how he was staring at me like he wanted to fight me, I made mention to her that i recognize him, and he's my then girlfriend's ex-husband. I had been told that he wasn't the most stable person, and that he had a serious temper. He was also a good 6 inches taller than me, and probably a good 30-40 pounds heavier.

I'm not a coward, but I am disabled (I have gout in my arm, nerve and tendon damage in my right hand, a knee with very little cartilage in it, as well as a partially amputated foot. not really in any position to be fighting anyone), and no one wants to get their ass kicked, so I nope'd out of there to the back of the restaurant, and played it off like I had something to do back there(co-worker played along a bit. The store isn't very big, so it's easy to hear people in the kitchen speaking to each other at normal volume). I sat back there until I was given the all clear.

That night when I saw my girlfriend, I told her what happened. She told me she had told him about me, and where I worked. She then revealed to me that she wasn't divorced, and was in fact still married to him, and told him that she and I were sleeping together.

In the end, despite unknowingly being used to end a marriage, I felt like sht, and eventually messaged the guy on Facebook to apologize for what occurred. He told me I should get tested, because he'd suspected her of cheating on him for a while with several other guys.

- SlaterVJ

UrbExing

We were exploring an abandoned mental asylum that had been overgrown, suffered from squatters over time, and was tucked away where most people wouldn't know exists (this is in western Maryland). After stumbling across some creepy sht, we see a man in the doorway of a building off to the side, and we still somehow didn't say "we need to leave now" just yet.

We advanced to another building and as we are crossing through the doorway, we see a cop car at the corner. Their lights go on and we book it out of there. Someone fell while doing the typical horror film 'look back while running away on uneven terrain' thing and I ended up having to carry them while we ran away (no man - or in this case woman - left behind!) and they ended up on crutches.

Needless to say this was my last time UrbExing.

- kgxv

Terrible Meeting You: The Worst First Impressions Of All-Time

Reddit user Dizzy-Effort-1375 asked: 'What was the worst first impression you ever had with someone?'

Cringing woman
Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

We can all agree that first impressions are important. No matter what may happen after that first encounter, the first impression has a way of lingering.

But some bad first impressions are absolute deal-breakers. No matter how kind or awesome a person might seem, there's really no coming back from that...

Redditor Dizzy-Effort-1375 asked:

"What was the worst first impression you ever had with someone?"

Know Your Place

"When I went before the Judge, I was drunk and argued with him."

"That earned me 10 extra days for contempt of court."

"Fortunately, I'm now six years sober."

- TrailerParkPrepper

Cruelty Is Unattractive

"I met a girl at work. I thought she was cute until she bragged about purposefully hitting a bird with her truck because 'birds are stupid.'"

"There's nothing quite like some animal cruelty to kill your attraction level."

- Numerous_Share7920

Know-It-Alls Not Welcome

"A family friend wanted to introduce her new boyfriend to her friend group."

"The dude was a know-it-all. He talked over everybody, was very condescending, and was just a rude jerk."

"We gave him a do-over and he was even worse the second time."

"That was over 15 years ago and they're still together. I don't see my friend much anymore."

- dadobuns

How Rude, Indeed

"I went into a dealership to support my wife as she shopped for her car. A skeezy salesman came up, introduced himself to me, and immediately acted all buddy-buddy with me, and started calling me by my first name. He never acknowledged my wife."

"I told him she was actually the one car shopping, and he barely batted an eye and kept trying to sell to me."

"I politely reminded him, and he still refused to deal with her."

"We walked right out without a word. F**k that guy. And f**k Bob HowardToyota in North Oklahoma City."

- Misdirected_Colors

"More like 'Bob Howrude Toyota in North Oklahoma City'!"

- fueelin

Stop Micro-Managing Me

"I was 19 years old and just starting my first real full-time job. I was taken around by the foreman and introduced to my new co-workers."

"All was well until I was introduced to Walter, the resident old pr*ck, who was to be my supervisor. He took one look at me and said, 'When are you quitting?'"

"I never even got a chance. He rode my a** every day. He repeatedly told the boss I was no good and I should find another job."

"He got fired two months later for being a d**k to everyone. I lasted 36 years."

- Crazy-Rip-6496

He Probably Thinks The Moon Landing Was a Hoax, Too.

"I had to pick up a new coworker to drive to the location we'd be working for the week. After talking about the job for about 25 minutes, he asked, 'So what do you think about 9/11?'"

"I knew it was going to be a long week."

"I said the most non-committal thing I could imagine because we still had hours in the car. 'It was a thing that happened.'"

"He rolled his eyes and said, 'Oh, so you think it happened.'"

- YetAnotherZombie

The Impression That Sticks

"I was dating this girl in another town and I was there visiting her. We were walking around downtown and these six or seven guys cornered me in a dark parking lot."

"This one guy started shoving me, going on about how I was 'in his town' and he should kick my face in for being where I shouldn't."

"I was so p**sed. If he didn't have six other guys with him, it would've gone down very differently. He really embarrassed me in front of my girl. Thankfully, the cops showed up before it escalated though, with those 6 other guys there... I might be dead."

"20 years later, he married my sister. He's actually a really great guy, a great husband, and a great father to my nieces and nephew... but I still have a hard time getting past that first encounter. I HATE the fact that I have to think of him as a decent person."

- KingGuy420

The Worst Priorities

"I'm a nurse and when I worked on a ward for the elderly, I had to call and ask the family of a very lovely lady who was dying to come and see her."

"They only lived a few miles away from the hospital but took seven hours to arrive. By that time, the lady had passed away."

"I had to tell the family as soon as they arrived. I expected tears and sadness, but the daughter only said, 'It's okay. Mum had a great life insurance policy.'"

"No tears. No upset. They were all smiling and trying to hide it. I hated them."

- curiousopenmind22

That Hidden Sense of Humor

"My best friend. We met in middle school and she’s blonde, gorgeous, and seemed super stuck up when I first met her. Obviously, I made assumptions about her."

"As it turns out, she’s super socially awkward, and once I got to know her, I found out that she has a super bizarre sense of humor (which I love), but she doesn’t show it to strangers."

"20 years later and we’re still best friends."

- littlepinch7

The Entitled Parker

"I came to work one day when I knew a new person was starting. In the employee parking area was a car I'd never seen before using up two spaces."

"My first thought was, 'She's one of THOSE people.'"

"And she was."

- ctruemane

Troubling At Best

"I met a woman who went on to defend torture at length. Even when her arguments were debunked, she was still in favor of it."

- TheMoniker

Just So Humble

"A new hire I was supposed to train, let's call him Chad, because that's his name, came in on day one and said during introductions, 'Some people say they're a jack-of-all-trades, but a master of none; not me, I'm a master at everything I touch.'"

"And that was that, instant dislike. He was gone the next day, lol (laughing out loud)."

- cdaisycrochet

The Teen Cringe Is Real

"For me? I was 13, my brother brought home some college roommates with no warning, and I was (apparently) having a bad enough hair day to literally dive behind our couch to hide from them."

"My mom called me to come introduce myself, and I continued to hide, but when my mom sent my little sisters to find me, I was worried I’d get found, so I popped up out of nowhere and said hi, still standing behind the couch."

"To this day, my brother's roommates said that was one of the funniest things they’d ever experienced, lol (laughing out loud), and one of my cringiest memories. Haha!"

- ChewsOnRocks

No Point of Reference

"I guess it wasn't really bad, but it was weird."

"I was getting ready for work, went outside for a smoke, and my upstairs neighbor said 'Hey,' from her balcony."

"She wanted to introduce me to her visiting sister, so I said 'Hey there, how's it going,' and pointed at my name tag while saying, 'I'm Bob, of course.'"

"The sister looked at me a bit weird, but I didn't think much of it."

"Then I went back in to finish getting ready and realized I did not in fact have my work shirt on yet, so there was no name tag. So... as far as that lady knew, I just said my name and randomly pointed at my manboob. Like, 'Hey, I'm Bob... check THIS out.'"

"I mean, you can't go back and explain at that point. I have no idea what she thought of me but I am guessing it was somewhere between moron and weirdo, and I never tried to find out."

- Divayth--Fyr

The Lie of First Impressions

"It was an old school friend's partner I'd never met before. My friend's parents emigrated in the late 1960s and we were penpals after she went to New Zealand."

"Her partner was coming over alone for three weeks for some research to do with his MA at Otago University in Dunedin, and I said he could stay with us. This was back in the 90s."

"When he turned up at our door, he was in shorts and a vest and waving a bottle of spirits in one hand and a skateboard under the other arm. He was heavily tattooed (including his face) and dreadlocked."

"I maintained a friendly smile, but my heart did sink, I can't lie."

"I was so very, very wrong. He's a brilliant bloke. I didn't know he was half Maori and had never encountered Maori tattoos before. The spirits were for us (he's teetotal) and he was a great house guest."

"He always cleaned the bath after he used it, bought food and cooked really brilliant meals, very funny, the cats loved him, he took the dog for walks (who spent about three weeks gazing adoringly at him and slept at his feet) the kids and my husband loved him."

"He taught my kids the Haka. My kids got major kudos because the cool Maori skateboarder was staying at their house."

"When he left, he gave us a beautiful framed drawing he'd done of a native NZ bird on a Manuka shrub as a thank-you present."

"It taught me an important lesson. First impressions can be very misleading. I wish he'd been here for more than three weeks (although he's visited since)."

- PeggyNoNotThatOne

For the first impressions that were genuinely terrible, it's clear why these Redditors would not want to continue interacting with the people involved, or how they would not be surprised by people not wanting to interact with them.

But there are also reminders here of how first impressions, however lasting, can be wrong, and the relationship beyond the first impression can be wonderful if we manage to look past it.

Man dressed a court jester or a joker
Austin Lowman/Unsplash

The human race is supposedly touted as a superior species compared to other lifeforms on Earth.

Sadly, the generalization does not apply to everyone.

And while the notion that "nobody is perfect" is perpetually expressed to console those who've made regretful mistakes, that is not entirely true.

We see them in the news all the time.

Dimwits–which may include those with no social graces or lack of basic life skills in order to survive adulting through life–are among us.

Curious to those who've face-palmed in response to an individual's intelligence level, Redditor Joker101001 asked:

"Albert Einstein once said 'The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.' What are some examples of this that you have experienced?"

People shared their observations about our intellect..or lack thereof.

Touché

"You shouldn’t believe every quote you read on the internet. — Abraham Lincoln."

– _PM_ME_PANGOLINS_

"I think he was re-quoting Julius Caesar who made this comment the morning he was warned not to go out that day."

– Emergency-Ad-7002

Humbling Realization

"I think the more educated we become, the more we know how little we actually know, and it’s humbling, but ignorant people really have no idea what they don’t know, leading them to be confident about their ignorant stances."

– PuzzleHeadedNinny

Reaching Limitations

"Physics has kind of reached a point where we realized we don't know how anything works at a fundamental level. Every theory breaks down at tiny or gigantic scales. There is a crisis in cosmology, spinning glaxies have either disproven gravity or proven undetected dark matter, and the vast majority of matter and energy is undetectably dark. We don't know why matter exists (as opposed to antimatter, given their symmetries). We don't know how time and space work inside black holes, how many dimensions there really are, or whether space and time are quantized. We've kinda figured out ordinary matter at human scales, but that's it."

– turbotong

The Thing About Doubt

"There are limitations to human knowledge and our understanding of things. Rather than acknowledging these limitations, people fill them in with supernatural explanations. When you express uncertainty or doubt, you are mocked or they ascribe to a lack of self confidence."

"Doubt is the beginning of wisdom, not the end of it."

– RecalcitrantMonk

Knowledge Vs. Intelligence

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit."

"Intelligence is combining the tomato with other ingredients to make something better."

"Knowledge is what we learn, intelligence is what we do with what we have learned."

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7183572/

"Charisma is the exact opposite of what I just did - citing an academic paper on reddit."

– egregori3

People shared their most dullest interactions.

Dumbfounding Stupidity

"Oh boy. I once met a guy who was so stupid that he thought the ocean was alive and waves was it breathing. I remember one time in school he was doing homework for another class and asked the teacher “Where were the Canaanites from?” She jokingly said Nova Scotia. He asked how to spell it. This guy thought Beauty and the Beast was based on a true story about a girl and a bear. He would constantly make bets that he lost and never learned his lesson. He didn’t know that chicken the food came from chicken the animal. I have met a lot of stupid people in my life but I have never met anyone quite so bafflingly stupid that I had to wonder if they, in high school, could even read."

– Not-sure-wtf-I-am

"A friend of mine once met a young woman who thought that fluttering leaves caused the wind to blow."

– Ancguy

"A former classmate of mine (in college, mind you) once said the sky was blue because it reflected the ocean."

"She thought the sky was blue everywhere, even hundreds or thousands of miles inland, because of the ocean."

– CrypticBalcony

Scam Fail

"I worked at an embassy. One day a guy came to me, completely explained a scam he did. It had failed and he wanted to know how I could help him "as we are countrymen".

"Called my colleagues at home and set them on his a** too."

– Dependent-Cress-948

Expected Expectations

"As a high school math teacher, I cringe when students hand in a test and say 'I think I aced it.' It’s almost always an F."

– kasgar77

"One time I left a stats exam in college and texted my friend, “if I knew a test was going to kill me and I went anyway, is that suicide?” She said “I think it’s more like when you walk through a bad part of town alone at night and get shot. It’s not really your fault.”

– FlockofDramaLamas

Kiwi Get A Clarification?

"When I was in middle school I convinced a girl that the kiwi birds laid the kiwi fruit as food for their babies. It wasn’t that hard to convince her."

– ChaoticCauldron

Conspiracy Theorists

"Flat eathers. It is difficult to find more dumb."

– DrowningInMyFandoms

"These days, there's quite a bit of overlap there. Flat earthers tend to be very anti-establishment, but because they also tend to be very religious and Trump is supported by many fundies, there's a definite connection there. Plus, his support of conspiracies makes him seem like 'one of them'; some flat earthers thought Trump would be the one to expose NASA and the fake ISS, but that never happened."

– SyntheticGod8

I think COVID pulled back the curtain on the lack of intelligence on display.

Irrational mob mentality prevented US citizens from critical thinking and drawing irrational and false conclusions from sheer panic.

Remember the toilet paper shortage and the anti-vaxxer movement?

I was more terrified of our lack of humanity and compassion than the virus that was being allowed to spread thanks to ignorance.

Bizarre dreams that come true, ghostly apparitions, and shared hallucinations. Have you ever had that feeling of being transported to another dimension? These real-life stories of strange and uncanny experiences from Quora and Reddit could be straight out of Twin Peaks.

Lucky Charm

woman in black jacket and white pants sitting on concrete floor during daytimePhoto by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I lost a jacket at a roller rink when I was in 3rd grade. I had a lucky rabbit foot in the pocket that I bought at the skate shop inside. Months later, my mother, who is adopted, found her birth mother and her half-sister. The first time I went to my newly found Aunt's house, she said she had a jacket that might fit me.

It was my jacket, rabbit foot still in the pocket.

Paranormal Activity

One morning, I woke up and noticed my camera was on top of the sofa opposite my bed. I knew I didn’t put it there because it was a very expensive camera and it could very easily have fallen from this place. I had placed it in my cabinet. I went over, picked it up, turned it on, and clicked the button to view the photos. My blood ran cold.

There were hundreds of photos of me sleeping, all seemingly taken from the back of the sofa. I was literally so freaked out, I couldn’t stop crying. I lived alone. It was just photo after photo of me sleeping. The photos were taken in “quick snap," where the camera takes approx one photo per second.

I later realized the camera didn’t even have a “quick snap” setting so technically it was impossible for the camera to take the photos at all. The time stamps suggest all photos were taken between 2 and 3 am.

I’ve never figured out what happened, how the camera got to the sofa, or how it is even possible for a camera with no quick snap to quick snap, but I still have a USB with the photos on it and it still freaks me out.

Lucky Escape

It was 1977—and it was a meeting I'll never forget. I had taken time off work to have a baby and stay home with her. But I still needed an income, so my mother hired my younger sister and me to do the dirty, back-breaking work in her shop while she took care of her first infant granddaughter.

My sister and I were working at our mom’s antique store one summer day. Mom had just gotten a truckload of European oak furniture that needed to be cleaned and polished, had the handles screwed on, and so forth.

A nice-looking young man came into the store and started talking to my sister, who was 17 at the time. He introduced himself as Ted Smith, and we laughed and said we must be related as Mom’s maiden name was Smith also. He chatted both of us up but focused on my sister for the most part.

He purchased an armoire but said he’d have to go get his truck since at the moment he was driving his VW Bug—an old VW Bug. He then asked my sister and me if we wanted to go out to dinner that night with him. We were sweaty and dirty from work, I had a baby to care for, and my sister already had a boyfriend, so we said “Thanks, but no thanks, Ted”.

He asked me to ride with him to get his truck so he could drop his Bug off at the auto shop for repairs, but by that point, I had to get home to my infant right away, because I was still nursing her. However, he wouldn’t give up trying to get one or both of us away from the shop.

He said he could come back about 10:00 that evening for his armoire and asked whether one or both of us would be there. We replied, “No, we close the shop at six, and we both have places to be tonight". He was persistent. “How about tomorrow night?" I said, “No, we close at 6:00, except on Saturdays, when we close at 4:00”.

He asked whether one of us could meet him early in the morning, like at 5:30 am, but neither of us wanted to. He was getting to be a bit creepy and my sister and I were eye-rolling at each other. Eventually, he said he was sorry but he couldn’t buy the armoire if we couldn’t be flexible.

We hated to give up the sale, but after he had been there for two hours, we thought he was just looking and taking up our time. We still had a lot of work to do on the furniture that had just arrived in the shop. Finally, we just wanted to finish our work and go home.

At 6:00 pm, as we were leaving, his VW Bug was parked outside and he asked us whether we wanted to go for coffee; he especially wanted my sister to go. We said, “Thanks, Ted, but no thanks, like we said earlier, we have plans," but he continued to be insistent.

Finally, I said, “Sis, let’s go—I’ll take you home”. Even though she had her car there, for some reason I didn’t want to leave her to drive home alone with this guy around. So he drove off in his Bug and we really didn’t think of it again…Until the next year, when his picture appeared in the paper.

He was Ted Bundy. It still sends chills up my spine, writing this, and my sister and I talk about it occasionally. We were two lucky young women that day. If either of us had agreed to go, we would have been goners.

Final Destination

man holding smartphone in close up photographyPhoto by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

*phone ringing wakes me up from my nap*

“Dude, are you coming or what? All of us are already here”.

I checked the time and it was already 6:17 pm. We were supposed to meet at 6.

“I JUST WOKE UP, I’ll be there by 6:45-ish, just go get dinner first or something”.

I became the Flash for the next 15 mins, got dressed up, and got a cab to the mall.

On the way to the mall, tragedy struck. I got into a car accident. I remember the car in front of my taxi, flipping and crashing into the vehicle I was in. I also remember slowly losing consciousness. That was when I woke up at 5:17 pm, on the same day, before all of that happened.

Later on, when I was eating with my friends at around 6:45 pm, there was a car crash nearby, where one of the cars flipped. Though, a taxi wasn't involved (I think). It was so weird. It was as if my inner self from an alternate reality was telling me what would happen if I didn't wake up on time.

No one believed me, but it sure is a story to tell.

Dead Ringers

Before I divorced my husband, but while we were still living in California, I used to adore going to thrift shops. One day, while visiting a shop in Venice Beach, I saw, in the “odds and ends” bowl, a very peculiar earring. It was a sort of "seashell" design, handmade, with a pendant black pearl dangling from it.

From the shape of the shell, it would only go “frontways” on the left ear. It was obviously a shop project, but was so unusual, I decided I had to have it. I could always take it apart and use the pearl for something…so I bought it for maybe 25 cents. That was in 1979.

The earring went into my “scraps” box. Years passed. I divorced and found my new love. We moved to Hollywood, then in 1988, to Albuquerque. One day, while walking to the book store I saw a sign “GARAGE SALE” …well…I love garage sales, so I went to the house and looked around.

The lady had a big wooden bowl set out with beads, rings, bits and bobs… and as I sorted through the jumble I saw…a very peculiar earring…with a stylized “seashell” and a dangling black pearl! And it was handmade and fit the right ear! I immediately showed it to the lady: “I have an earring at home…that looks exactly LIKE this!!" The lady's response shook me.

She looked perplexed and said, “Well, dear…I don’t think so…my boyfriend made those for me in Shop…and I lost one of them many years ago”. I froze. “Where?" She smiled “Oh a long way from here…it was in California…I’ve forgotten the place…a beach…named like a place in Italy”.

“Venice Beach?" I said, feeling a bit dizzy. She nodded eagerly. “Wait here," I said, somewhat illogically…after all, it WAS her home… and when I came back with the matching earring, they were a PERFECT match! I offered to give my earring back to her so she would have the completed pair again, but she refused, saying, “I never liked him very much. You keep them, Dear”.

So I still have them, a handmade pair, separated by hundreds of miles and nine years, and reunited completely by chance.

Hold The Phone

I saw a stranger’s phone number in my dream!! And what happened afterward was actually the strangest part. I often see very vivid dreams—but rarely do I see numbers. In fact, except twice or thrice I haven't seen any numbers in dreams. And when I did see them, it’s just 3–4 digits numbers.

But then one day, I see this 10-digit number that starts with 9 and ends with 1. In fact, it consisted of only 9s and 1s. I saw it very vividly. The numbers were red in color with white background. When I woke up, I immediately wrote that number and realized that it could be somebody's phone number.

Out of curiosity, I dialed and it rang!! I immediately disconnected. Having it confirmed as a valid phone number, I was curious to know who that number belonged to. I googled it; no information. I sought help from a friend who was working with a telecom company as customer support.

He told me that it was a VIP no. and so the owner's information was not available to everyone. Now, I was burning with curiosity. But you can't just call a random number and ask about the owner's identity because you saw that number in your dream!! But my curiosity got the better of me and I simply called.

A lady answered. As expected, she asked me why I wanted to know about her. I told her that I saw the phone number in my dream and waited for her amused response. To my surprise, she responded in a very normal tone, “Hmm, okay, I understand. However, I feel it is not the right time to tell you. You will know when the right time comes. Ok? Bye”.

Whaaaaaaaat!!!!

This happened in early 2010. I never called on that number again. I don't know if that lady was just being sarcastic or was really serious. The ‘Right time to know her’ also hasn't arrived yet. And it has become the strangest and most mysterious incident of my life.

Ken You See What I See?

boy wearing gray vest and pink dress shirt holding bookPhoto by Ben White on Unsplash

As a child visiting my Grandma's house, whenever I left the house I'd wave next door to Ken who was always sitting in the bay window looking out at the sea. They lived right on the coast of the North Sea in Hartlepool (UK). We'd never really talk, but just a little wave before I went to get into the car.

One time, I'm leaving my Gran's house, and I'm in front of my Mum who stopped at the door to talk to my Gran. So I head down the steps and towards the gate. I turn back and see Ken in the window. Big smile as usual, waving at me. I give him a wave back.

He stands up, gives me the thumbs up, and wanders toward the back of the room. My Mum comes walking down the steps and asks "Who are you waving at?" I replied "Ken". To this day, I can remember my mum's face. She just went white but didn't say anything to me.

It was only a few weeks later when she plucked up the courage to tell me that Ken had passed a few days prior to our visit to my Grans. I don't believe in ghosts, but I know I saw him. I can still picture his striped gray sweater with light stripes across it. Him waving and getting up out of his chair.

There was no one else in the house, he lived by himself.

Small World

This happened when I was about 25, and working as an English teacher in Tokyo. I had joined up with some other ex-pat Brits who had a football team. We used to play every Saturday. After one game we were having a few drinks. I was talking to Dave, our star player. I asked where he was from.

Plymouth.

Wow, that's weird. I'm from Plymouth! What part of Plymouth?

Plymstock.

Wow, that's amazing—I used to live in Plymstock when I was about 10. What school did you go to?

Goosewell Junior.

No way! I went to Goosewell! How old are you?

25.

Wow me too!

By this time I figured we may have been in the same class.

What's your surname?

Rowe.

Oh my god. I remembered him! He was the headmaster's son! In my class! And here we were 15 years later on the other side of the world in the same football team!

How weird is that!

Matilda?

When my daughter was little and she would get upset, something in the kitchen would randomly break. This happened way too many times to be coincidental and the things that broke did so in inexplicable ways. I clearly remember one instance very early in the morning standing in the kitchen, telling her she couldn’t have cake from the night before.

She immediately looked angry and I heard a weird “plink” sound in the cupboard. I opened it and found the plate on the top of the stack was cracked in several places. No signs of this in later years. She’s 24 now and I often allude to this and remind her boyfriend not to make her mad.

I Smell A Rat

a rat sitting on a piece of woodPhoto by Joshua J. Cotten on Unsplash

A few years ago I was living in a two-bed flat with my brother in Shepherd’s Bush, London. It was converted from a basement so you had to walk down some steps to get to the front door, and just outside was a communal trash area where bin bags were just left out to be enjoyed by the city’s smaller, furrier residents (foreshadowing).

My tiny room was under a bathroom and literally had mold growing on the walls, to give you an indication of how salubrious this place was. Oh well, I was only paying enough rent for a 12-bed mansion anywhere else in the country.

On that fateful day, I woke up one morning to hear a panicked scratching noise coming from the bathroom. Further inspection revealed an unexpected (and unwelcome) house guest of the four-legged variety, who had done what we had never dared to do—use the bath.

The rat had obviously fallen in and was struggling to climb up the steep sides of the bathtub, and upon seeing my expression of mingled shock, fear, and disgust, it proceeded to get even more worked up and, not to put too fine a point on it, pooped everywhere.

At this point, I may have (loudly and with plenty of expletives) made this known to my brother, who also came in, and we stood there assessing the slightly surreal situation we found ourselves in. I do have a bit of a soft spot for most animals, and my brother and I decided we didn’t have the heart to end our newest tenant’s life there and then.

My brother had a little bag he (evidently) wasn’t too attached to, and put it down in front of the rat, who needed no second invitation to shoot straight inside, doing his best impersonation of Hansel leaving a trail of breadcrumbs behind him, but substituting said breadcrumbs for something softer and smellier.

We zipped up the bag and assessed the situation once more. We decided that, despite his contemporary bathtub artwork, it was the rat’s lucky day and we’d release him somewhere far away, with the aid of the city’s wonderful public transport system.

So, on a weekday morning, we found ourselves sitting on the bus next to a bag containing a rat that was most likely both metaphorically, and literally, soiling itself. We got out near a park and found a secluded spot where onlookers wouldn’t question our sanity (although, being Londoners, they probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid), and carefully opened up the bag.

Our new acquaintance was quite content to stay in the relative safety of his newfound home, so it took a little bit of a shake before he dropped out and ran off into a hedge without so much as a “goodbye, thanks for not bashing in my head with a rolling pin”. My brother decided he’d rather not keep the bag. But the story doesn’t end here though, unfortunately.

With excellent timing, literally, as we arrived home and opened the door, all warm and fuzzy from doing a good deed, another rat (might have been the earlier one’s brother, he certainly had a striking resemblance) ran past our legs and into the house. This had turned into a problem.

We’d seen them before amongst the trash outside our door, but they’d never been bold enough to run right inside, sans invitation. Further inspection revealed that there were some holes the rats had dug outside, and they were managing to tunnel inside.

Did I mention that this was about two weeks before we had to move out and make sure we got our security deposit back? Stalin once remarked, after losing his wife: "This creature softened my heart of stone. She died and with her died my last warm feelings for humanity".

My brother and I had a similar experience, only with rats rather than wives, and the turning point was a second unwanted house guest rather than the passing of a loved one. I guess not really that similar, on balance. We were angry at ratkind, anyway, is my point, but he had uni and I had work so the plans of revenge had to be postponed.

The next morning I opened the door and walked into the kitchen, and my barefoot made contact with another very alive, and very vocal rodent. I can safely say there are nicer ways to start a day than treading on a rat. But it gets worse.

My brother was out but his then-girlfriend (now fiancée, which is nice because we have a good story to look back on) had stayed over and was alerted to my presence based on my (really deep and manly) shrieks of terror. From the noises coming from various dark corners and inside cupboards we could tell that there were definitely rats, plural, within the house.

This suspicion was confirmed upon opening one cupboard, and the (figurative…honest) pants-wetting that ensued when another one shot out. The humane option was off the table and we went to the shop to get some heavy-duty rat traps, plus a hefty dose of poison.

I did a bit of research and discovered that rats went crazy for peanut butter, so we set the traps, put the poisoned food out, and waited. It didn’t take long. Turns out rats really do love peanut butter, and a combination of the traps and the poison (I assume, for the rats who were MIA) finished them off in a couple of days.

I do have a confession, though. When I was about to leave for work the day after setting the traps, I came across one of the rats slightly worse for wear (i.e. a metal bar turning its face into a Picasso portrait) and thought I’d be a top brother and pretended I hadn’t seen the body so he’d have to deal with it while I was out.

Well, that’s what you get for palming the situation off on me and your girlfriend buddy! We did get the deposit back, so if there were any rats who crawled inside the walls to die at least we moved out before they started smelling. Sorry future tenants, it probably didn’t make much difference to that flat anyway.

Pretty weird couple of days.

Super Recognizer

I was introducing a business partner to a customer who said immediately that he knew him, as he was his tour guide in NEW ZEALAND 16 YEARS AGO. It took him only a matter of SECONDS to recognize the guy, who now has a beard and gray hair. And we live in BRAZIL.

It seems that some people have an uncanny ability to recognize people with VERY little information. We were amazed but later I was talking to this guy and he told me that his father also has the same ability. He can recognize people passing by in moving cars, just glancing out of the window.

He can also recognize someone at first glance even if they are well inside a pub in a dark area. He does not know how he does it, but he does.

A Murder Of Crows

When I was eight, my father brought home a pair of lovebirds. I was obsessed with them. I cleaned their cages, fed them, and every passing second I would check up on them. The birds were majestic. Both had bright yellow feathers, with spots of blue. They were beautiful little creatures.

Months later, to my abject horror, the female bird passed, to never move again. The consequences were devastating. As we moved her lifeless body away, the other one stopped eating. He became fussy, he would peck me when I would clean his cage, he wouldn't touch his food for days, and he would just lie at the bottom of the cage, to not move.

My eight-year-old brain couldn't understand what was wrong. One day, I decided enough was enough. I thought the bird was sad because he was caged and I made up my mind to release him to the wind so he could be happy again. I didn't tell my parents, and I took my precious little bird to the terrace.

Within minutes of taking him upstairs, I see a flock of crows gather around where I was. My bird would thrash around in his cage, and I thought that he was finally happy. He will finally be free. As I opened the gate to his cage, I saw that he was hesitant, and unwilling to leave the cage. I would shake it, move it, but the bird wouldn't budge.

As young as I was, I tilted the cage and the bird had no option but to leave the four walls that caged him. For a second, he would spread his wings, and I would smile—happy and content that I'd done the right thing. Little did I know, I'd just made the worst mistake possible.

Just then, a pack of crows started chasing him, trying to catch up to him. I was terrified. I started screaming, crying, and throwing rocks at the pack of crows that were chasing him. Within two minutes, the bird, my bird, was pecked at, ambushed, and a goner.

This event would mess me up for years to come, and even today I shake and shudder every time I remember this moment. I would rush back home, hug my Didi, and cry, while she told me how these birds couldn't survive in the city. She told me how the bird was sad after losing its mate. Turns out, they are this way.

This event, as strange as it was, taught me something incredibly important. You can't save everyone and not everyone needs saving. More importantly, just because your intentions are pure, doesn't guarantee that what you're doing is right.

It’s Raining Men

man in brown shirt beside woman in black shirtPhoto by Moosa Moseneke on Unsplash

10 days ago, I set a personal goal that would require a significant time investment. I am aware that dating is a HUGE time investment. Therefore, 10 Days Ago, I promised myself that I’m not going to date for the next six months while I focus on this goal.

Nine days ago, I have on no makeup, a messy ponytail, an old comfy sweater, and leggings. I’m trying to get home, but end up slightly lost in the big city. I’m new to Toronto and shockingly challenged with directions. A tall, well-spoken gentleman visiting from England offers to help me on the street.

He’s self-employed, self-sufficient, and very funny. We open Google Maps on his phone and squint at the little screen. He says, “Oh. That’s where you live?" He’s staying at the hotel right by my condo. He walks me home. Says by the courtyard, “Would you like to go for a drink?"

To which I say, “I don’t drink”.

To which he responds, “We could get coffee instead”.

Hmmm, how strange and unexpected.

Four days ago, I’m smelly (probably) after a long day at work. I’ve removed my stained lipstick. Feeling 3/10. A young, handsome gentleman stops me on my way to the grocery store. I just want to buy some bread and juice and go home. He says, “What does a girl like you find herself doing on a Friday night?"

I say, “Buying groceries”. He laughs and comes into the grocery store with me, offering to push my cart. To our mutual surprise, we have a great time. He works for Microsoft and is visiting from LA. He’s even wittier than the Englishman. I run an errand for a friend, and he runs it with me.

He carries my groceries all the way home, where we bump into a friend of mine who I’ve planned to meet after not seeing each other for three years. I let them chat in the lobby while I put my groceries away. I come back down and he politely leaves to let us catch up. My friend looks at me and says, “He just said you have the most character of anyone he’s ever met in his life”.

He texts me the next day: “Can I see you again?"

Hmmm, how strange and unexpected.

Two days ago, I’m wet and out of breath from the rain when I arrive at my destination. A well-dressed, easygoing gentleman meets me at the auto showroom. He’s taking me to test drive a car. I’m impressed with his ability to comfortably and confidently communicate the features while I navigate the $100,000+ vehicle down rainy Toronto streets.

We have a pleasant time. The minute I leave the showroom, he asks me to dinner. “Would I be terribly out of place?" he inquires politely. Not car-related.

Hmmm, how strange and unexpected...That was the moment I had a stunning revelation. I realized that the moment I decided not to chase something, that same thing seemed to start chasing me. I wish this sort of stuff happened with money.

For some reason, I don’t think my rent will cover itself if I say: I’m not going to show up to work for the next six months! Which, to be fair, isn’t that strange or unexpected.

I Feel Your Pain

This is the strangest thing that’s happened to me that I feel like sharing with the public. It’s actually happened to me many times…too many times to just be a string of coincidences, I think. The most recent time was just last week. On Tuesday, when I was at work, I suddenly felt a weird sensation low in my throat.

I’d never felt anything like it before. It lasted for about 30 minutes, then it just suddenly went away. I described it to my wife when I got home, and we decided that it might have been acid reflux (which I’ve never had but she gets sometimes), so I should take an acid reducer before I went to sleep. I forgot to take it before I went to sleep, but the pain didn’t come back anyway.

Then, on Friday, I was Facetiming my mother. She lives several states away and I hadn’t talked to her for about a month. During our conversation, she mentioned that she had an endoscopy done that week. She hadn’t told me that she was going to get it done. When I asked her when she had it done, it was at the very same time on Tuesday that I felt the weird, new sensation low in my throat.

If this only happened once or twice in my life, I’d think it was just a coincidence. But it’s happened dozens of times with different people who are close to me: my parents, wife, and my children. I get a sharp pain at the front of my mouth, as though I bit myself, but I didn’t.

A few hours later, when I pick my kid up from school, I see they have a busted lip in the same spot. They fell and hit their face at recess a few hours earlier. I get a sharp pain in my ankle while I’m sitting at work. It lasts about 30 seconds, then stops. I can’t explain it, until about 30 minutes later, when I get a call from my wife.

She tripped and rolled her ankle at work, and her friend is driving her to the doctor’s office for X-rays on it. (It wasn’t broken, just sprained). Anyway, this is the kind of thing you don’t really mention to people you know in real life, because they might think you’re weird and slowly back away from you.

It’s right up there with “I was abducted by aliens” or “I saw Bigfoot” as far as strange things to admit to people. So here I am, sharing it with 50k or so strangers online. Thanks for listening.

Heavenly Creatures

I'm too young to remember this, actually. But my mom always tells this story. Apparently, when I was younger, barely able to speak. I was sitting on the floor playing with some toys nonchalantly with my mom when I just said, "When I was in heaven, I met a woman who said you'd be the perfect mommy for me".

I apparently held the belief that I was in heaven before being born, and an angel looked at me and chose the mom I went to. My mom asked me to describe the woman, and my response freaked her out. I apparently described my mom's great-grandmother perfectly. Down to the eye color.

I had never met my great great grandmother, nor seen a picture of her.

Good Will Hunting

brown wooden framed painting of green and brown treePhoto by Marek Okon on Unsplash

My aunt, who was a missionary in Africa, gave me a painting that a patient of hers painted. It was a simple view of the village he came from. Three simple huts, some trees, grass, and native shrubs. This was in 1968. On the back was written his name, to my friend Charlotte. Jos Nigeria 1966.

Well when my first wife and I divorced in Wisconsin, it was amicable. She took her stuff, I boxed up my stuff and by sheer coincidence, we both moved to Florida, different cities. Anyway after I unpacked my stuff I realized I didn't have my African painting. I contacted my ex—and she gave the most infuriating news.

She said she sold it in a garage/ moving sale. I was so mad. I remarried in Jacksonville Florida. My new wife loves thrift stores. I'd usually wander around looking at things and sometimes find something, but I just went because she did. Well two months ago, 23 YEARS after my divorce we were in Brunswick Ga, and we stopped at Goodwill.

As I walked past a customer looking through pictures she flipped past a painting that looked like mine. I stopped, excused myself, and asked if I could look at the one she just passed on. I pulled it out, flipped it over, and there was the writing to my Aunt Charlotte. I let out a little scream.

The lady thought I just discovered a masterpiece. I told her the story of the painting and showed her the writing on the back. $3 later, it was mine again. The Goodwill tag showed that it arrived on Aug 10th, 2022. Somehow the painting made its way from Madison WI, to Brunswick Ga in 23 years.

What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting

A girl texted me to ask if I wanted to have a baby with her. She didn’t mean this as a metaphor…She meant, like, have a baby for real. I hadn’t talked to her in ages. I thought: she can’t be serious. But, no, she actually meant it.

She wanted a baby. She didn’t have a boyfriend. She was sick of white men. She thought our baby would be cute. These were her arguments. I tried to deflect with a joke. She was serious! I asked her if she was high. She said nothing back.

Mafia Motherlode

My daughter and I were painting a house I bought, the house was in an old Mafia neighborhood. We were removing the light plates on the walls. All of them were fake, and when you pulled them out, they held secret compartments. We found old gold coins and silver dollars. And two silver bars—pure silver.

Broke The System

woman biting pencil while sitting on chair in front of computer during daytimePhoto by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

It was my 7th standard board examination results day. My result was Withheld. I was chilling in my grandmother’s village, enjoying my summer vacations and the result showed a BLANK in my Mathematics marks.

Everyone assumed that I made some careless mistake of not writing my name or I flunked the exam. Everyone except my father. I was chilling with no effect. A couple of days later, my brother finds out the mystery behind this by querying the board authorities.

It turns out that the server was not able to render three-digit marks. I literally scored a 100. I was chilling with no effect. I want to be that confident again.

Sleep On It

I was in my higher secondary when I had this bizarre experience. I returned home from school and was doing my math homework. But I couldn't find the solution to a particular problem. I ran the question in my head a million times to understand it correctly and yet I couldn't find the answer to it.

I got tired after a time and postponed the homework to the next morning, ate my breakfast, and slept, thinking about the problem. I am not sure about the time when it happened but I was thoroughly relaxed with a clear view of that problem in my head. I suddenly turned right to find a book on my side.

I took it and found the exact solution to the problem in the book. I was so happy at that moment. I closed the book and slept again. At about five in the morning, I woke up and suddenly realized that I found the answer to the problem. But wait a minute, where was the book I used for my reference?

I turned to see if it was there. But it's not there. I felt awe-struck. I still remembered the solution to the problem and finished my homework, thinking about the dream. I realized that it was my brain which performed that miracle. I was in an equilibrium between dream and reality at the time I discovered the answer.

I came to know the wonderful potential of my brain at that time. After that, whenever I wanted solutions to my problems, I slept but unfortunately, it never happened again.

A Stream Come True

This is quite embarrassing but it really happened. One day, I woke up and I felt an intense need to rush to the washroom immediately. I had to pee so badly. I rushed to the washroom, I just saw the toilet seat in front of me. Treasure! Treasure! My heart said. Go ahead Asad, pee it out, go ahead…go ahead…

I peed.

At once I felt something warm and wet in my pajamas. Haaaaaaaaaah! That great feeling when you pee after hours. That great fall, oh my God, this was good. My vision became blurry and dark. (Warm and wet feeling in my pajamas was continuously increasing in intensity). What was happening?

Bingo! I woke up. Here I am, it was a dream. BUT, the warm and wet feeling in my pajamas wasn't a dream. Yes, in my dream I was peeing in the toilet happily while I was doing it on my bed actually. Bedsheet gone. Mattresses gone. 16-year-old guy peeing on his bed.

Mom gave me a “the heck is wrong with you” look. Dad gave me a “You peed? Well. Ooookkkayyyyy” look. My brother channeled the information as fast as he could to my cousins. Great start to the day. Embarrassing.

Sister Act

photo of woman's face reflectionPhoto by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

A colleague at work married a woman from Ohio. I knew she was a twin. So, I was visiting my brother who lived in Granville, Ohio. I went to the mall with his family, and there she was, no more than 20 feet from me, a woman who was a doppelganger for my colleague’s wife.

So of course I walked up to her and said, “You don’t know me, but I know your sister“. It was probably stranger for her than it was for me.

Running On Empty

In 1996, I had just dropped out of University and was moving home to my parent's place. My tail was firmly between my legs, I had almost no money and no job prospects. Basically, I was screwed. I had an old Jeep Comanche with all my belongings in the back and 200 miles to go.

I borrowed $20 from a friend for gas and started the trip. I got to a point that was 30 miles from home and my tank was empty. I pulled into a gas station/rest stop and sort of cried for a minute in my truck. I needed $5 for gas to make it the rest of the way and had nothing. There was no way I could call my dad and ask for help...he was already so disappointed.

After a minute I started searching around my truck for change...anything...I opened the glove box and there were these paper "loyalty bucks" for a gas station that I never used. It turns out it was the exact gas station that I was stopped at. $4 worth of bucks. I found another $2 in change, put $6 in the gas tank, and bought a coke.

I made it home.d

Fast forward 20 years, I had sorted my life out and am a lawyer...that Gas Station hired me as their outside counsel...I got to tell this story to the President of the company.

Stomach Fake

When I was 10 years old, I didn't want to go to school one day. I faked a stomach ache so my Grandmother would let me stay home. I've always been a bad liar, so she tried to call my bluff. She told me if I was too sick for school then she would be scheduling me a doctor's appointment.

Three hours later, I was rushed into emergency surgery. My fake illness was actually appendicitis and It was so inflamed that if I hadn't come in that day my appendix would have ruptured potentially fatally. I felt 100% fine that day. Faking sick saved my life…

Curb Your Enthusiasm

shallow focus photography of two boys doing wacky facesPhoto by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash

When I was about 12 years old I went up to Lake Tahoe with my friend and his parents who had a condo in Incline Village. One day, the two of us are walking to the bowling alley and cross a street at a crosswalk. Right before we get to the curb, a car comes really close to hitting us.

All of a sudden, we're both up on the curb, like we were lifted a few feet. We both looked at each other strangely.

"Did you jump?"

"No, did you?"

"No".

We spent the next hour kind of dumbfounded. It didn't feel like a shove or any use of force. We were still in the street, then we weren't.

Waist Of Time

I once was changing pants in my room before work and took off my belt. After putting on my other pair of pants, I went to put my belt back on but it was gone. No one else was in the room and I spent a good 10 minutes looking for it as I had simply set it on the floor. It’s been 10 years and I’ve never seen that belt again.

The Helicopter Fairy

This one is strange to me because it was so long ago and I'm convinced I have to be remembering things wrong. I was a young kid at the grocery store and I saw this toy helicopter (like hotwheel-sized) that I really wanted for some reason. I, of course, didn't buy it, but the memory of it stuck in my head.

A few nights later, I had a dream where I was playing with the helicopter, but I realized it was a dream and stupid young me thought that if I put it under my pillow, it would still be there when I woke up. After that, I woke up and eagerly checked under the pillow to get it.

For some reason, it was right where I left it in the dream. As a kid, I wasn't surprised to find it there as it all made perfect sense to me then, but years later I have no clue how the toy helicopter actually got underneath the pillow.

Just A Flesh Wound

person holding black knit capPhoto by Terry Shultz P.T. on Unsplash

A car going 50-60 km/h hit both of my knees in 2008 (it was 100% my fault, I wasn't paying attention when I crossed the road) and not only did I have zero broken bones, but I didn't even fall. (I did flinch quite a lot, though).

My knees and leg hurt for about two days, but I really can't explain how a car going relatively fast hit me and I walked away with only a couple of bruises.

Nice Kitty

My friend was in the garage working on his dirt bike. The driveway was empty because his parents left a while ago. I go inside to grab a soda but decide to look for his cat, who I haven't seen all day. I walk into the office and as I'm calling her name, a deep man's voice goes "Meow" right into my right ear.

I jump and run around the main floor looking for who said that. Didn't find anyone.

Must Be Ninjas

My girlfriend got out of the shower and called me into the bathroom to show me the mirror. I felt a literal chill run down my spine. There was a very strange, distinct handprint placed on the mirror.

I lived alone and she was the only adult that had been to my house in about two years. We each placed our handprints on the sides of the mystery handprint for reference and neither looked anything like the mystery print. I still have no idea how it got there.

Statue Deja Vu

statue of liberty new yorkPhoto by Arnaud STECKLE on Unsplash

I have a vivid memory of being at the Statue of Liberty as a child, on my dad’s shoulders, and seeing the skyline of NYC. I remember what we ate for lunch that day, etc. I remember the ferry we took. I’ve always thought about this memory and talked about it, but my family denies I ever went to NYC.

I didn’t go for the first time until I was 23, but strangely enough, when I went, I remembered everything just how it had been when I was there with my dad.

Slip ‘N Slide

I hit a patch of black ice in the dark going 60 mph down the highway. At the time, I drove a 1-ton cargo van. It hit the guard rail and flipped. Not only did I walk away without a scratch, but the car was also drivable and I was only 30 min late to work.

Take A Deep Breath

Both of my lungs collapsed at the same time (almost over 50% collapsed)—but that wasn't the shocking part. I was walking around like I was perfectly normal. I didn't realize my lungs had collapsed until I decided to go to the ER for bubble sounds in my chest. None of the doctors could figure out why this had happened to me.

They didn’t know how I was just up and walking around and laughing.

Yellow Solo Cup

two coffee lattes in yellow cup with saucer on brown wooden tablePhoto by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

When I was in primary school, in the cafeteria, there were all these cups filled with milk every lunch. Red, green, blue BUT ...only one yellow cup. Everyone would fight to get the yellow cup like it was the holy grail and it had been this way for years.

One night, I had a dream that the cafeteria had gotten more yellow cups in, and low and behold the next day...

Hundreds of yellow cups.

Shared Scare

I had a sleep paralysis nightmare when I was a kid, where I saw a red-eyed dark figure standing in the doorway. It's always stuck with me, and I've called him the boogeyman ever since. One day I was browsing Reddit and somebody painted a picture of their "sleep paralysis demon". It was like the guy had painted my exact dream.

And then a bunch of people commented that they had seen the same creature. It always makes me uneasy to think about.

Wait For The Other Shoe To Drop

I was at my girlfriend’s house in the kitchen chatting with her and her daughter when I saw one of my shoes, which I’d taken off next to the door, drop from two feet high from thin air. My girlfriend didn’t see it but her ten-year-old daughter did. I still remember the thud sound as it hit the ground and rolled onto its side.

I have no explanation other than it had to be a ghost, which I fully believe in but had never experienced previously.

Number Slumber

selective focus photography of multicolored dream catcherPhoto by Megan Thomas on Unsplash

When I was younger, in elementary school, I used to have the same dream every weekend starting on Saturday (when I would go to sleep) and then wake up in the middle of the night (on Sunday) and throw up. The dream was always a bunch of numbers. Nothing happening, just a bunch of random jumbled-up numbers all over the place.

I never understood why that happened where the same dream would happen on the same night every week and I would throw up every single time. I always think about it and wonder what it was or if it was just some weird coincidence. Also, I would not have any signs of being sick before or after. Maybe someone else has experienced this???

Don’t Be Alarmed

On Reddit one night, I read that thread where the OP hallucinated weird stuff until a commenter suggested that he check for a carbon monoxide leak. The commenter probably saved his life. I went to bed thinking, “Oh yeah, I never did check whether my new house’s smoke alarms also detect carbon monoxide. I need to check that out in the morning”.

At maybe 6 AM, my wife and I awoke to our fire alarms screeching, with a recorded voice telling us carbon monoxide was detected. We grabbed the baby and the dog, piled into our car in the driveway, and called the fire department to check it out.

After they tested, they told us no carbon monoxide was detected, but sometimes fire alarms behave unexpectedly when their batteries are low. This was maybe five years after moving into a house that’s new construction, so yes, I was super irresponsible in not checking it. It wasn’t even the first time I’d read that story on Reddit.

Anyway, there is absolutely a logical explanation: an improbable but possible coincidence. But that’s how I ended up spending huge piles of money on a bunch of Nest Protect units, so I could at least get a pleasant phone notification when my alarms’ batteries are low.

Right On Cue

I was walking between bars in a college town and felt something hit me in the back. I turned around and saw a cue ball rolling down the sidewalk. I then spent the next five minutes walking up and down the street trying to figure out who threw it or what happened. I never found anyone, and I still have the cue ball.

Pandemonium

silhouette photography of womanPhoto by Artem Gavrysh on Unsplash

One time when I was little, I had fallen asleep on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night. When I got up to go to the kitchen, I saw a black silhouette of a woman with a bun and glasses. She went into the kitchen and I heard all of the pans fall.

I rush into the kitchen no one is there and everything is in its place. I know I could've imagined the figure but I cannot explain the sound of the crashing pans and no one else heard it. They were all asleep.

Receiving Live Updates

I turned to the other person in the room, who I barely knew, and said "My sister is getting engaged right now," without having the intent of speaking at all. He politely asked why I said that, and I had to shake my head and say "I don't know".

A few days later I found out that, sure enough, at that exact moment on the far side of the world, she had said "yes" to Mr Right. I hadn't even known she was dating.

Ghost FM

When I was 10, I had a radio and bean bag chair in my room. As I was starting to fall asleep the radio suddenly changed the channel multiple times before I heard the bean bag chair in my room slowly fold in on itself making the noise a bean bag chair would make if someone were to sit in it.

Not sure what caused this, but it certainly freaked me out.

Time Flies

person holding black capPhoto by Alev Takil on Unsplash

I used to fence. I was at a tournament and had just started a bout against a competitor. You win the bout by being the first to five points. I score what I believe to be the first point, but the official indicates the match is over and I've won.

I stood there confused for a second, but my opponent seems to agree and salutes and approaches for a handshake, so I go along with it. I check the scorecard and it says I've won 5-2. I lost probably four or five minutes of time. Hasn't happened since to the best of my knowledge, but it's been 20 years and I still wonder what happened.

Don’t Test Me

It was my 8th semester at IIT Madras in India and I had totally given up on my academics. Then this weirdest incident happens.

In spite of attending only the first class in the semester and bunking the rest, my 'A slot' professor permitted me to take the end-semester exam! (Without sufficient attendance, you are usually awarded a W grade, which means that you have to repeat the course).

With no preparation, I went to give the exam a try. I quickly found out that copying was the only way out and was lucky enough to have an old friend sitting in front of me in the exam. I copied enough to peacefully get an 'E' grade, which was all I needed to complete the course that semester.

I was actually happy because all I did was attend the first class and enroll myself and write the end-semester exam to complete the course. On the way back, I met the guy who was my bench mate on the first day of that class, and asked him about the exam. He replied, "Which exam?" I said 'A slot' and he said.

"Dude it will start in about an hour at 1 PM". That's when I realized that I had written an exam for the wrong course! Basically, I didn't know what that course's title was, which created the whole mess. I ended up taking an 'A slot' course exam scheduled in the morning while the exam I was supposed to write was scheduled in the afternoon post lunch!

The weirdest experience was when I had to meet the professor who conducted this accidental exam I wrote and give an explanation for my good score on the test. Generally, people give explanations for bad scores. Later In the afternoon, I wrote the 'Information theory' test, which was at least the right one!

Twilight Zone

I drove home at 2 am one night. I live way in the country. I was on back roads I've driven many times, and this car looked like it was coming over the hill quite a ways away. As I got closer, it seemed like it was parked just over the hill waiting. I stopped and waited as it was a long way off when I first saw it so it should have come over the hill a while ago.

I waited five minutes. It seemed really weird for where I was. There were no houses around. I started to drive up to it and the light got super bright and then it went dark. There was this blue stuff in the air above the road as I drove to where I thought it was. "I've gone insane," I thought.

It looked like ozone burning. The second time it happened, my buddy was with me. Same time, same spot. It blew his mind. We never talk about it now.

Time Warp

woman holding clear drinking glassPhoto by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I worked at a coffee shop and lived a few blocks away, so I normally just walked to work. Takes no more than 10-15 minutes tops and I like to get there early so I can chill and have a coffee before my shift starts. So I left home 45 minutes early, looked at the clock before heading out and it was 2:00.

I walked in the door to my manager asking me why I was late I looked at the clock and it was 3:00. There's no way it's even humanly possible to turn a 10 min, five-block walk into an hour. Like I have no idea. I even checked my clocks at home after work, none were off or broken, and it never happened again.

Men In Black

My dad owned a small garden shop, so I'd stay behind the checkout after school till the shop closed. This was until I saw a tall man wearing all black, like a trench coat, walking past my dad and smiling at me before going into a staff-only area. I jumped up to stop him, even though I was seven.

This back area was filled with new shipments. I turned the corner—and my jaw dropped. Nobody was there. There was nowhere he could've gone. I asked my dad to check the CCTV after closing, but it only showed me jumping up and running, and running out of frame. Weird stuff, never felt comfortable there again.

Cat Man

When I was in college, an intoxicated dude fell from a 3rd-floor balcony and got up and walked away like it was nothing. Seriously one of the weirdest/freakish things I’ve ever seen in my life.

The Informer

green and white typewriter on blue textilePhoto by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

I met with two FBI agents who gave me a pile of money—cash, not a check—and told me that they would not report it as income to the IRS, so it was my responsibility to do so. This happened years ago.

I’d done some amateur infosec work uncovering a massive hack against an American Web hosting company called iPower Web. The hackers had totally breached their servers and planted a DNSchanger malware called W32/zlob on about 200,000 Web sites hosted by iPower.

…and from there made it onto a bunch of infosec mailing lists and such. What happened next was straight out of a B movie.

I got an email basically saying “Hey, my name is [redacted] and I’m from the FBI cybercrime unit. I want to talk to you about your blog posts, but I know you’re probably skeptical about any email that says it comes from the FBI. If you can Google the phone number for the FBI San Antonio field office, give them a call, and ask for me, I’d really appreciate it”.

I gave the FBI field office a ring, talked to the guy who contacted me, and ended up as an FBI confidential informer. I continued to investigate the network spreading the malware, but instead of blogging about it, I sent the info to my handler.

Fast forward a few years and a bunch of guys responsible for the hack were detained in Tallinn—all but one, who escaped to Russia. They spent a few years behind bars over it. So the FBI gave me a reward. Thing is, since I was a CI, they didn’t pay me in any way that could identify me, they paid me in cash.

It was freaky. They asked to meet me in a public place. A Chevy SUV pulls up, two FBI guys get out, they both witness one of them handing me the money, they both sign a statement saying they’d handed me the money, they tell me that it was on me to report the income to the IRS (spoiler: I did), they drive off.

Probably Peak Freaky in my life. I doubt I’ll ever again experience anything that freaky.

Sammy Who?

One of the strangest things I’ve encountered was being recognized later in life by a former babysitter that knew me only from when I was a four-year-old. Now, that isn’t all that odd, is it?

BUT, consider that she used to babysit me only periodically when I lived briefly in Idaho. After we moved away, there was no further contact. But, here is where it gets weird: She stopped me—many years later—in a café in GERMANY and asked if I was “little Sammy”.

Tripped me out!

More often than not, when men try to do something "sexy" in an effort to impress a woman, it tends to backfire on them.

Perhaps it is the visible amount of effort behind what they're doing or the fact that they don't do it as well as the movie star they took inspiration from.

Either way, despite their best efforts, women tend to find this sort of behavior anything but sexy.

In fact, more often than not, men have a way of turning people on without them even realizing it.

As it's often the little things that can make someone blush, anything from opening a door or slicing into a ripe tomato.

Redditor finnjakefionnacake was eager to hear all the sexy things men do without their even realizing it, leading them to ask:

"What things do men do that are sexy that they don't realize are sexy?"

When They Don't Even Know Their Own Strength

"Was getting busy with a girl one time and her head was too close to the headboard, trying to save her a potential concussion, I moved backwards and grabbed her under her hips and pulled / lifted her about two feet down the bed towards me."

"The sound she made and the look she gave me is still in my head lol."

"Afterwards she brought it up and said it was incredibly sexy how I could just handle and move her around so easily with so little effort."- Mage2177

So, So, Hot...

"I once changed a radiator in my house and that, without doubt, got me more attention and flattery from the women in my life than anything else I've ever done."- Jasper-Packlemerton

It's The NOT Knowing...

"It’s a trap fellas, just live in ignorant bliss."

"Once you realize something is sexy, you will become a self-conscious dork about it and it will no longer be sexy."- PMMeUrHopesNDreams

What Just Happened Wtf GIF by SomeGoodNewsGiphy

Magic Fingers

"My bf and I went to eat at this restaurant before we knew we had feelings for each other."

"While I would talk he would either laugh or smile and once while doing so he circled the rim of his glass with his finger."

"I later found out that he did it unconditionally but I short-circuited while he did it."- AsasLowkey

To Each Their Own...

"An ex of mine once got turned on when I told her I put a hand on the wall when I pee."

"I’m not sure I fully understand that one."- PaleAleDale

One Hand, One Heart...

"My wife has told me taking my shirt off with one hand is a thing."

"That kind of blew my mind."- trugrav

"One- handed steering wheel grip, reverse parking with their arm resting behind the passenger seat."- getupandstudy

motor oil shot GIFGiphy

Doing It For The Thrills... And Then Some...

"My girlfriend was locked out of her apartment and I picked her lock."

"I picked the hell out of that lock."- paulo39Atati

Hits The Spot...

"My heart does a little flip each time my significant other, ever so slightly puts his hand on my back when we’re walking (to guide me), or if he’s trying to squeeze by behind me."

" I don’t know why that gets me fired up lol."- princess19977

Knowledge Is Power!

"Being booksmart."

"If I ask my boyfriend a history question and he randomly knows the answer to it or if I ask about a math problem and watching him figure it out is the hottest thing, like yea you divide those numbers baby."- maneaterlex

Matt Damon Math GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy

Nice And Oily...

"An ex said it was hot watching me change her car's oil."- SafeAndSane04

Compassion Is Always The Answer

"Caring for helpless things."- Maleficent_Scale_296

Speed Can Be A Turn On...

"There was a study done in Japan to see what school-aged ladies saw as attractive in their male counterparts and 'running fast' was like number one or two for elementary and middle schoolers."- Embershot89

Run Fast Running Man GIF by TRTGiphy

There's Someone Out There For Everyone

"I heard one million power in 'Rise of Kingdoms' gets you any girl you want."- Key_Vermicelli_3138

Strong And Efficient...

"Carrying as many folding chairs as you can at once."- KbossDPT2019

Most of the time, the sexiest things are also the most unexpected.

That being said, any good boyfriend knows that a wet t-shirt now and then can't hurt...