There are few things in the world as surreal or unsettling as the sudden realization that you need to get away, and you need to get away now.
That building dread, rush of fear, and jolt adrenaline is one of those things you see in movies, or you hear talked about in self-defense classes, but there's nothing like experiencing it yourself.
In a perfect world, most of us would only feel it if we wanted to in controlled environments like haunted houses. But we don't live in a perfect world and sometimes life gets ... terrifying.
Reddit user the-70s-kid asked people to talk about it when they posed this question to Reddit:
"What is Your Most Terrifying 'We Need to Leave, NOW!' Rush of Fear You've Felt?"
So you know how sometimes you almost wish people were LESS open and honest? Yeah...
What Happens On Tour Stays On Tour
scott hoying wtf GIF by SuperfruitGiphy"I'm a touring musician. At one point in time my tour vehicle broke down in bumf*ck Mississippi. We were able to pull into a gas station, but had thrown a belt and needed to get it replaced."
"Cue a bunch of hicks helping us work on our car. A couple of band members rode with a random do-gooder to go get a replacement belt forty-five minutes away."
"The local sheriff pulled up and bought us all coca-cola. At this point we're stressed because we don't want to miss our next show in Arkansas, but not worried about safety... YET."
"Time stretched, and through trial and error we ended up getting things close to finished up. Then our lead guitarist pulls out his iPhone. He said he had an airdrop request, but we all kinda ignored it until the job was finished."
"Then, just as we're getting into the car to pull away, he opens the airdrop."
"There were seven pictures of dead bodies, although they appeared to be cleaned up like in a morgue or something. Among the corpse pictures was a picture of one woman sitting up and smiling at the camera, the next shot she was dead."
"The last two pictures were of us repairing the car in the gas station parking lot."
"After that we lost it. I don't know whether we were just freaked or it was genuine danger, but the car behind us followed us for almost twenty miles until we got to a major highway and gunned it."
"Once we got home (2 days later) the guitarist went to the local police department."
"They basically said since it was a different state they wouldn't do anything, and since we had absolutely no info about who airdropped it, he had nothing he could 'call in' to the sheriff of the small Mississippi town."
"They also insinuated that it was probably just someone who was a mortuary or something because all the pictures had posed bodies."
"Could be someone's sick joke (and if so, I guess they got us), but I don't see how someone fat-fingers an airdrop of corpses."
"No context, no explanation, no answers. It still freaks all of us out to this day."
- Kylar21
Following A Blood Trail
Penn Badgley Joe Goldberg GIF by YOUGiphy"I was walking home one night, head down because I was dumbly looking at my phone. I almost stepped into what looked like barbeque sauce."
"Turned on the flashlight function for my phone - it was blood. Every step, there was a small blood splatter - less than a teaspoon. I followed it along the entire long street while walking home."
"Maybe eight blocks. It was hard to tell, in the dark, but the trail seemed to end at a residential facility in my neighbourhood."
"I'm not sure what type of facility it is, but I've often met people with intellectual disabilities in the area - I've helped them with how to order a train ticket, counting cash for groceries, etc."
"There were two people in the fenced off yard, talking low. I could only see their lit cigarettes in the dark."
"Suddenly I was filled with a sensation of wrongness. All the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and I felt cold. I kept walking, and did some loops before going back home and calling the cops about the blood trail."
"My partner felt I overreacted, and it was probably just an animal or someone with a bloody nose."
"But that was a lot of blood in total, over eight blocks. And something felt deeply wrong. I didn't sleep well that night."
Heading Home
Dance Music Dancing GIF by DEEPSYSTEMGiphy"I was overseas at a competition and my friends and I left the after party. We part ways with me going my own way."
"Almost immediately I see a few men on the other side of the road, out the front of a bar look up, nudge each other and say something between them. As I walked past I see them cross the road to walk behind me."
"Mentally I'm thinking 'oh sh*t' - the rest of my walk would be down a not well lit, and sometimes very quiet, stretch of road."
"I turn down a shorter street and pick up my pace a bit, and sure enough the men follow but I've put some more distance between us. I make the turn I was dreading and just bolt."
"There were a few houses here with decent gardens and I just needed to make it to one before the guys turn the corner."
"I make it to one of the houses, it has a giant hedge surrounding a small gate so I lean right back into the gate and hedge. I'm in total darkness, peering through the hedge when the men turn the corner, take a few steps and stop."
"They talk to each other, then turn around and leave. I wait a few more minutes to be sure then jog the rest of the way checking behind me."
- Grieie
Air BnB
red dead redemption 2 rdr2 GIF by Rockstar GamesGiphy"Several years ago, 6 of my friends and I were out of state for a wedding. We rented an Air BnB for the group."
"Immediately after getting there we learned that the guy who rented out his house had a roommate who was almost never home, but happened to be there for the first time in weeks, and didn't realize the house was going to be occupied."
"The owner insisted that he spoke with him and he was planning to pack up and stay at his girlfriends so we could have the home to ourselves as planned. Sure enough, he was gone that afternoon."
"We went out that night and came home intoxicated, as 20-something's do from time to time. One of our guy friends came up from the basement looking shocked."
"Apparently the roommate was back... and based on him being asleep, it was clear he planned to stay."
"We quieted down and rearranged where we'd all planned to sleep. But this was only the beginning."
"The next morning we were woken up by excruciatingly loud death metal blaring from the common living area/dining room upstairs. Two of the people who'd slept in the living room came down immediately and told us we needed to pack our things and get out FAST."
"We didn't ask many questions. Just sort of grabbed all our stuff, tries to clean up, and piled into an uber XL to head to the closest hotel."
"Apparently before the music started earlier that morning they woke up to a bunch of clank/banging only to open their eyes and see this dude sitting at the table cleaning a shot gun and a hand gun."
"Needless to say, I don't think he wanted us in the house."
"I wasn't the one who had rented the Air BnB. But yes, my friend was able to get a full refund and a big ol' apology from the owner. He said he didn't really know the roommate very well and hardly saw him, like he just sort of paid rent and stopped in only now and then."
"In retrospect the whole thing just seems mind boggling."
- jillaaa
We Could All See His Face
fast food robbery GIFGiphy"It was more of a gut feeling than a rush of fear, but I was 12 or 13 with a friend in a corner store and a guy walked in. He didn't look like a criminal, he looked a bit shady but not too too off."
"But for whatever reason I just felt weird, and I whispered to my friend that I wanted to leave. so we quickly pay for our stuff, which was just a pack of gum 2 sodas and a large bag of chips and we leave."
"A couple seconds after we leave we hear 'Open up the drawer! I will shoot!' and we both book it."
"I don't know what this guy was thinking, his face was visible, I don't know if he put a mask on while he was somewhere in the store but either way the cashier, me and my friend all saw his face when he entered."
"Anyways he did get arrested, and the police found that his gun was in fact loaded, the cashier was not shot nor harmed, nothing too serious happened but it scared me that I was in a store with a man with a loaded gun."
Bill
Get Out Leave GIF by Filthy RichGiphy"A few years back coworkers and I went to another coworkers house. The house was owned by an owner of the company but this one coworker, we will call him Bill, had a key and 'permission' to use it following a company Christmas party."
"Everyone was enjoying some drinks and some smoke. About 30 minutes into us partying, Bill started acting strange."
"Basically he started aggressively hitting on the girls at the party in disgusting ways. 'If I guess your age and you're older than me or younger than me you have to sleep with me' was a common thing he repeated to more than one girl that night."
"He started trying to separate other coworkers from their dates and got aggressive about it. When I say he got aggressive about separating other coworkers from their dates, he was taking dominoes and throwing them on the floor in front of coworkers and telling them they needed to help him pick them up."
"The first time he did this he got help from our coworker, at that moment Bill stood up and started trying to get our coworkers date to go into the next room with him. He was unsuccessful but about 10 minutes later he tried it with a coworker I was pretty close with, we will call him Dan."
"He threw a deck of cards and kept telling Dan to pick them up but Dan knew what Bill was up to. After a minute of Bill trying this sh*t I walked over started grabbing cards and stuffed them in his pockets."
"I was pissed, I kept repeating 'Come on Bill let's pick up some f*cking cards.' With a plain face and monotones voice Bill simply said 'I can clean it up myself.' "
"Bill was aggressively hitting on the girls at the party but Dan later told me that Bill told him 'You're hot, I can see why so-and-so wants to f*ck you.' Nothing against anyone sexual preferences but clearly Bill was going through some sh*t."
"Right around this time I started smelling gas."
"I walked through the house and realized he had turned the stove burners on but never ignited the flame. I turned them off but the smell kept building. I realized he had done this with the fireplace as well."
"As I turned off the fireplace gas I notice Bill messing with the stove again. At that point I lost it, I made a scene."
"Bill looked shocked when I yelled 'Yeah f*ck this. Everyone out, Bill is doing some weird sh*t. Out everyone out!' "
"He rushed to the door and tried calming everyone down. I'm telling you all it was weird."
"We had to push through Bill, who was blocking the front door telling us we were being crazy. 9 of us crammed into a friends Chrysler 300 as Bill tried blocking us in with a golf cart."
"He ended up moving it and saying we were all over reacting. I have no doubt Bill was up to some nefarious stuff and to this day I believe I saved a few lives."
"People reported it and Bill was fired not long after. A few months back I was doing some home improvements and while at Home Depot I hear Bill shout 'Hey!' "
"I turned around and had a few words with him. He works there, apparently loving life. I now shop at Lowe's."
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Window washers have quite an interesting job. From death-defying heights, they see cities from unique perspectives and often catch glimpses into the lives of...BBQ Bummer
zac efron bbq GIF by NEIGHBORSGiphy"I had just moved to South East Georgia. I moved into a predominantly black neighborhood which was totally fine by me. My neighbors were so welcoming and accepting."
"About 2 weeks in, I'm approached by a few white men in suits at work, asking me if I was new. I said I was."
"They said they were from the Chamber of Commerce. They wanted to invite me to a BBQ that weekend."
"Free BBQ? Sold!"
"... It was a Klan Rally. Many of them were wearing black shirts with the distinct symbol of the cross and flame."
"They introduced themselves as such eventually, though growing up in Portland, I was already pretty familiar with the symbols."
"Yeah, I wasn't keen to find out what was going to happen if they found out I was gay."
The Mall
Fast Food Mall GIF by Billie EilishGiphy"A friend dragged me to a mall (her old workplace) to visit her old coworkers. After arriving, I suddenly started feeling ill but not normal ill."
"Like really ill accompanied by a really bad gut feeling."
"I kept trying to get my friend to leave and she kept saying 10 more minutes but wouldn't leave."
"Something in my gut felt like something was really wrong and we HAD to leave and I was so panicked that I finally decided I'd leave without her if she wouldn't leave this time even though I'd have to walk over 5 miles to get home since she drove."
"She finally agreed to go and when I got home and flipped on the computer to do homework I saw that there had been a shooting at the mall after we'd left and it started at the store we were in."
High Alert
Breaking Despicable Me GIF by RegalGiphy"One time I was shopping at a Walmart with my wife and a young, bald guy seemed to be following us around the store. He had a very intense look on his face and was speaking urgently into a headset."
"He wasn't wearing a Walmart uniform, but he was dressed in business casual with a name tag. He wasn't always following us; sometimes he would pass us going in the opposite direction."
"At some point, I realized he was making announcements on the overhead speaker for people to gather at the back of the store in the electronics department because there was going to be a drawing for cash prizes."
"I couldn't tell if he was actually making the announcements on the headset or relaying a message to another guy who was, but he was pacing through the women's clothing section (I was there buying scrubs for a job that I started the next day) and intently repeating the message for people to gather at the back of the store."
"He had no expression on his face and was just repeating the message in a monotone."
"Out of the two of us, I'm the level-headed one and my wife is the one who is scared of everything. In this moment, however, I just knew there was going to be a mass shooting at that store."
"I told her to put what she had down and get the hell out of there with me. Since I'm not normally scared of much, it freaked her out and we bounced."
"Of course, nothing happened and we had to go find scrubs somewhere else, but it was the strongest fight or flight reaction I've ever had."
"I think it must have happened right after a high profile shooting (god bless america), so I must have just been on high alert."
- CryptographerShot296
Party Pranks
Punch Alcohol GIF by Grease LiveGiphy"I was getting ready to go to a party with my friends after prom. We never go to the big parties because we were not as popular, but it was open invite and our parents let us go."
"We all got there and something felt off right away. I got a wave of anxiety and almost had a panic attack and we all left the party after being there for 15 mins."
"I thought it was just me being shy or overthinking until we wake up to the news that one of our classmates put drugs in drinks as a party prank and caused people to trip out. One girl overdosed."
- the-truth827
The White Vans
scared inglorious basterds GIFGiphy"I was at work one night and walked to my car before leaving to bring some things inside. I hate parking lots so I always park pretty far away to avoid having to pull out around other cars."
"I didn't think anything of it till after, but the parking lot was mostly empty apart from two white vans RIGHT NEXT to my car with people inside. I work next to a park, so it really isn't too unusual for people to just chill there in their cars for awhile."
"As I was walking up, the door of one of the vans slid open but no one stepped out. I wasn't paying attention so I didn't see the faces of the people inside."
"I was a little creeped out so I called my boss and he came with his dog. As soon as he stepped out of his car, both vans left."
"I get a call from my boss at 3AM that night, asking me for better descriptions of the car. Someone was assaulted and carjacked there that night."
"I don't park far away from the building anymore."
- euphoriugh___
For His Wife To Find
Season 19 Nbc GIF by SVUGiphy"Several years ago I was outside on a Saturday morning cleaning out my truck in the parking lot of my complex."
"A guy who lived in the building right across from me, but parked on the other side of the complex normally, suddenly pulled in a couple parking spots from me and just sat in his vehicle."
"I had my back to him, but I got such an overwhelmingly creepy feeling all of a sudden. I switched sides so I could watch him."
"He sat there watching me for about 5 minutes and then started his truck and drove off. I couldn't shake the weird feeling I had."
"Fast forward 2 weeks later and I'm just coming home from shopping with my son. On our walk to the apartment, I watch the guy's wife and two sheriff's go into her apt and 2 min later they come speeding out."
"Come to find out, when the wife went to work, he called a sex worker, they did their thing and then he killed her. He then stuffed her body into one of his military bags."
"Then he left her there in the middle of the living room for his wife to find. It was terrifying to learn that!"
- Pretend_Impression90
Storm Chasers
Oh My God Omg GIF by AudibleGiphy"Californian in foreign Kansas ground. Always loved the severe thunderstorms - so cool with nearly constant booming rainfall and torrential downpour."
"One day when I was playing on my computer and hear sirens. No clue, look outside and sunny outside and some people walking their dogs. Go talk to my wife and we look on TV and there is a tornado warning."
"Having no clue what to do, we huddle in the bathroom under a mattress with the news on display. Panic on the news is increasing (shocking I know) and they say this is a big one and if you're in a second-story place, you are not safe."
"Soon after they abandon the news station and all we hear is pounding hail, almost a deafening silence. Well sh*t."
"We panic and start knocking on neighbors' doors but no one is there. Not a cloud in the sky. Adrenaline is kicking in and I'm getting shaky."
"I call friends and they are all true Kansans and say 'noooo problem easy peasy.' Thanks alot."
"One offers for us to come to his house for safety. Me and my girlfriend jump in the car ready to go."
"We turn the corner and a sheet of golfball-sized hail starts pelting the car. It sounded like the car was being torn apart."
"Gut-wrenching metallic pounding mixed with glass clacking to hold with every ounce of its might. My wife starts screaming and crying and I just put my arm across her chest to try to calm her."
"I look out the car and the wind is whipping on itself and leaves are circling about. She reminds me the nearby grocery store has a shelter, since our friends house is far and not easy to find even in broad daylight."
"I begin speeding there racing through an intersection with a red light. I veer up to the grocery store greeted by dozens of cars with smashed in windows."
"To this day I have no idea how ours held."
"We get out right in front covering our heads in hopes we don't get hit by hail. The doors to the store are closed."
"Panic sets in. A man is beating the front doors screaming 'LET US IN! ITS HERE ITS HERE!.' "
"The store employee inside is pale and confused and shrugs to indicate no way to open. I contemplate throwing a pot through the window."
"After what seemed an eternity a fellow employee sprints up fumbling her keys and opens a side door."
"I look back and I can see nothing but wind and tree branches circling about... and darkness. My girlfriend and I run to the door and... she trips."
"I have that movie moment where my mind thinks.... should I grab her and risk us both or just go? Well I'd be dead either way lets grab her."
"We bolt inside to the meat locker shelter. As soon as we get in all conversations stop and everyone stares at us."
"We must've been white as can be and they could see the mixture of terror and relief in our eyes."
"We learn later that the guy banging on the door beside us was a tornado chaser and the tornado got rain-wrapped, or impossible to see, and he panicked."
"To this day I get a powerful feeling in the bottom of my stomach whenever I get a phone warning of a severe thunderstorm."
"At least picking up my girlfriend paid off as she's now my wife and we have a beautiful baby girl :)"
- getloppy
Welp. We'll be doing a LOT more trusting out gut from now on.
What sorts of "near danger" experiences can you recall? Sound off in the comments.
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Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
– MrDDog06
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
– Bogus_34
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
– eerie_white_glow
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
– xdq
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
– Bec_121
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
– doeswaspsmakehoney
The Multi-Tasker
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
– thickening_agent
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
– therapoootic
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
– TheWarmestHugz
Ultimate Comfort
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
– crazyloomis
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
So Kawai
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
– HavingNotAttained
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
– _CozyLavender_
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
– Bi-Beast
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
– deanie1970
Honorable mentions start here.
The Savior
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
– sky_kitten89
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
– chris14020
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
Moostaken Identity
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
~ Marxbrosburner
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
~ FairyQueen89
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
~ millijuna
Oh, 💩
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
~ amerkanische_Frosch
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
~ Blacl-Owl
Stonewalled
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
~ sleepwalkfromsherdog
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
~ Duck_Whistle
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
~ csfshrink
Bling, Bling
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
~ notatravis
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
~ Youre_so_damn_fat
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
~ Wetworth
Ribbit
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
~ DdraigGwyn
Psych!
"Operation Mincemeat."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
~ ThePinkTeenager
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
~ ChipHazardous
Ape 💩
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
~ DeadalusJones
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
~ Freezemoon
Pied Piper
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
~ 3000ghosts
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Anyway...
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
Weight Watchers
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
~ hambone10
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
~ jungl3j1m
waitr
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
~ bravesgeek
GiphyHBO
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
~ stoneman9284
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
~ oreos_in_milk
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"Madness."
~ WoodSheepClayWheat
GiphyUSWest
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
~ Trickycoolj
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
~ ConsciousValence
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
~ CorporalBB
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"Firedog."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
~ Tiberius_Jim
GiphyBritish Petroleum
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
~ RandomAmuserNew
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
~ LurkerOrHydralisk
Amoco
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
~ anitabelle
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
Overstock.com
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
~ WhatsABuckland
Snoop Dogg
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
~ RomanOnARiver
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
~ GotMoFans
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
~ OpanaMan
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
~ GotMoFans
GiphyBooks-A-Million
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
~ lynnyfox
KIA
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
~ vinyalwhl
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
~ VulfSki
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
~ User_Deleted_Content
Mark Chan on Unsplash
Royal Mail
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
~ PonITdude
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
~ ShinyHead0
"Twitter to X."
~ sandiercy
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
~ Safety_Drance
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
~ tommyk1210
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
~ SagittaryX
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
~ Pinksters
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
~ temalyen
GiphyCity Landmarks
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
~ baccus83
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
~ NoVaBurgher
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
~ nonanarchist
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
~ keytarin
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
~ New_Simple_4531
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
~ SheBrokeHerCoccyx
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Well...
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
How Much?
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
~ LightsJusticeZ
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
~ FishOfFishyness
Who?
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
~ HCxTC
Spellcheck
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
~ ParkOk6450
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"EDIT: February"
~ NeoNero_x
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
~ LordCaptain
GiphyUm, No.
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
~ Team_Lift
Looks Like...
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
~ testies2345
"I did the same thing with beets."
~ Jjetsk1_blows
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
~ fohsupreme
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"big boobies"
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
~ PoopPower99
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
~ dekkact
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
~ redwolf1219
Blue-Footed Boobies
GiphyPredictive Text
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
~ sniper8207
NSF...S?
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
~ BW_Bird
Good Description
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
~ TheGreatJaceyGee
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
~ Tail_Nom
GiphyIt Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
~ grammar_fixer_2
Ah, Memories...
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
~ caca__milis
GiphyYou Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
~ 123fofisix
100% NSFW
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
~ pi11bott
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?