
Non-disclosure agreements, or NDAs, always have some sort of fascinating information behind them.
Some people use these agreements for evil, to cover up their own transgressions by paying people large sums of money.
Others use it to protect their products or their information.
u/gabz09 asked:
People no longer bound by their non disclosure agreements, what can you now disclose?
Here were some of those answers.
Ruby Or Ruse
My best friend worked at a roadside attraction near Chattanooga, TN, called Ruby Falls (there's something else called Ruby Falls elsewhere in the country). It's supposedly a waterfall inside a cave. Of course, the trail to the cave is re-done with all sorts of rock brought in from around the world - I think they've owned up to that part now.
But the "waterfall" itself is barely a trickle naturally, and then only in the wetter season. They've run a pipe up there to supplement the falls, hidden by cracks and crevices and cemented over, and powered by a pump off to the side, which you can't hear when the water is splashing down from 100 feet overhead. It's 99% from the City of Chattanooga (or maybe Lookout Mountain) municipal water supply.
Of course, with such a wet area, old electrical wires going back to the Great Depression, and 300 feet underground, it sputters, or shorts out and stops every now and then. The first rule in the Falls Room is "make everybody leave immediately if the power goes out", not for safety, but because the fable agreed-upon will be shown as fake.
Manipulating Numbers
The book you're reading might only be a "bestseller" because the author had enough money to buy thousands and thousands of copies, have them shipped to a warehouse for storage, and eventually destroyed.
Capital On A Name
I worked at a small bakery in New York City when I was younger. Every morning the bakery would take their day old cup cakes and deliver them to a tour company that did Sex and the City tours. The tour company would pass our cupcakes off as cupcakes from Magnolia, and significantly much more popular bakery.
A New Pretzel Decade
When i was fired from Auntie Anne's in 2010, I signed a 10 year non-compete/NDA contract, promising not to detail the baking secrets or work for another pretzel establishment.
Well that ended this year so now I can run out and start a pretzel store because the secret I was keeping was making pretzels literally requires 2 products, one of them being water and the other a large bag of pretzel meal/dust/powder. Quite literally anyone with $2500 can start a pretzel stand and make perfectly fine pretzels, it's not difficult whatsoever.
This Is, On Top Of Being Gross, Illegal
That married grocery store manager in his late 40's was , indeed, having sex with that 17 year old courtesy clerk in the compressor room.
This was 15 plus years ago when I was a Person In Charge, and not yet a full Assistant Store Manager. Our store in the backroom had a couple of rooms upstairs: a large room that housed all of our electrical breakers and back up generators, and a room that housed all of our compressors that kept our freezers and coolers running. Both were locked at all times for security reasons. They were accessible only through the backroom.
The 17 year old courtesy clerk (bagger), had worked there for a while. She was, uh, not the best worker. She had a habit of disappearing for a half hour or hour at a time. I, and the other PIC's complained and tried discipline, but the store manager blocked it. So, we just dealt with it. Yes, she was an attractive blonde.
I was in charge one night and we got an alarm that one of the compressors was low. It was my job to check the level, record the compressor number, and turn it in. When I went up to the room, the door was propped open with a bucket. I assumed whoever worked in the room last left it open. If you have never been in a compressor room before, I have to tell you that it is LOUD! Our store had several diesel engines that powered the compressors.
I proceed in to the back of the room, come around a corner to see the girl, not quite naked, but not fully clothed, being...serviced by our store manager (who had left for the day hours ago). Neither saw me and I hightailed it out of there.
I wrestled with what to do. I was worried about my career at the time, so I called the security hotline and made an anonymous call and told them in vague terms what happened and that they should contact me about details. I'm 100% certain that they knew it was me that called.
A couple of days later, the store manager is suspended, and I'm interviewed, the Assistant Store Manager is interviewed, and the PIC's. They tell us not to discuss it, so of course we did. I was a little late to the party. Almost everyone knew.
The store manager would use his store keys to come into the backroom, meet the courtesy clerk, and then would hook up in the compressor room. She was not the first teenager he had done this with at this store and others.
They fire the store manager, and like an idiot, he sues. Dozens of people are deposed, NDA's are drawn up and signed. He thinks better of it, drops the suit and that's the last I ever heard of him.
The girl quit right after the store manager was suspended.
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Competing Within An Agency
I was a contractor for NASA. I still fully support the agency, but I was extremely bugged when I learned that each separate NASA center (e.g., JPL, Kennedy, Ames, Goddard) hides many of its inventions and breakthroughs from the other centers so that when HQ is ready to assign a big mission (and a lot of dollars) to one center, they have a better chance to compete over the others. "Look what we invented! Ames can't do this over there! Give us the next moon orbiter!"
The downside is that there is a ton of reinvention and duplicated efforts going on. Sometimes years of work go down the drain when another center does the same thing faster. My perspective was: you all work for NASA. Share knowledge, collaborate. I was frequently ordered to tone down anything revealing when speaking to other centers.
Rhymes With "Case"
I signed an NDA after negotiating a six figure settlement with my mortgage lender. Back in 2013, the bank illegally sold my home, while I was living there and making monthly payments. I discovered this when "new owners" evicted me and my three kids.
At the time, I thought someone was trying to steal my identity, etc. I spent the next two years writing legal documents and had to represent myself in court. (The bank "owned" every legit legal firm I contacted. Also, the first lawyer I hired took my last $7,000 and was promptly disbarred for misconduct with previous cases.) I had no money, no home but I had a laptop, printer and access to the county court law library.
We were about a week away from selecting a jury, when we came to a settlement agreement. In the end, each of my kids (now in their twenties) got an inexpensive new car and I live at the beach. "Which bank?" you ask. I can't tell you the name, but might I suggest that it rhymes with "case."
They settled because they were worried that if the case went to trial, it would become public. Then, everyone would know, for certain, that they had lied, cheated and swindled to steal homes from hardworking people. The bank would lose when no one took out new loans with them.
I received a posting on my front door. I went to the eviction court and lost, because technically the new owners paid for my house. I was given 7 days to move all my stuff (had lived there 13 years) or face the sheriff. I had three kids. I didn't want the drama of handcuffs. So we packed and moved, then sought "relief" through the court system.
Slime Everywhere
This is something I could spend a lot of time diving into, but the sub-prime lending company I used to work for as a software engineer spent a lot of time and effort manipulating the UX of our various applications to encourage customers to accept loan terms that were not necessarily in their best interest. I quit pretty quickly after realizing that the people in charge had very little interest in actually supporting us in making a product that would be better for our customers.
Why Don't We Heed Warnings????
I was once an IT contractor for a now defunct bureau within the Department Of The Interior during the Event Deepwater Horizon disaster. Since the department has its hands in off-shore drilling, they were part of the response team and boots on the ground.
Anyway, it's a little known fact that all the extra stress + aging IT equipment during the first 48 hours after the blowout took their entire authentication and email infrastructure down (Active Directory & Exchange) for two days. There were also other weird glitches from offices around the U.S. not related to the outage. A switch going out here; building automation there. It was a disaster. This was, of course, after years of emails and documentation stating they were heading that way.
I was directly involved with recovering that infrastructure and the aftermath of dissolving the bureau... which really wasn't anything special. They just became three different bureaus, got new email addresses, and continued on in their role under a new title.
Secret Super Secret
I once had to sign an NDA to get a price on a printer for my sign shop. This was a printer that was only sold by one distributor, by the way, so there wasn't even any direct competition on this particular model. I think they gimmick was that if they make a really big deal out of giving you this super secret pricing that you'd be lulled into thinking it was really something special.
People Break Down Historical Events Some Folks Believe To Be True But Are 100% Fake
When I was seven, I saw a cartoon of Ben Franklin discovering electricity when lightning accidentally struck a kite that he was flying. I didn’t totally understand how that helped him discover electricity, but since I was only seven, I believed that to be what happened.
The truth is, Ben Franklin did not actually discover electricity -- that happened over 1,000 years prior. He just demonstrated the connection between lightning and electricity.
Moreover, his kite was not accidentally struck by lightning. If it was, the lighting would’ve struck him by extension, and he might not have even survived long enough to demonstrate his findings. In fact, the kite was part of an experiment that he conducted on purpose.
I know all this now, but not everyone does. A lot of people still believe lightning accidentally struck Ben Franklin’s kite, and that he discovered electricity through that happy accident. And that is just one of the many historic events that people believe in.
However, most of those events either didn’t happen at all or happened differently than we may think.
Redditors have recognized a lot of other historical events or facts that people believe, but are actually fake or untrue, and have shared this information.
It all started when Redditor FarajEltaira asked:
“What is a part of history that we consider to be a fact is 100% fake?”
The Absence Of Color
"Ninjas dressed in all black to stay stealthy in the night or something like that. Ninjas dressed like normal people to blend in, the all black look stemmed from Japanese theatre to make it more obvious to the audience who the ninjas were."
"If they wore all black it'd be quite obvious and they'd stick out like a sore thumb"
"EDIT: most of you pointed out it also came from stagehands, that makes a lot of sense too"
– Darth_Fata*s
Pull It Tight
"Corsets were not typically tight laced. They were only tight laced by the highly fashionable women, and usually only for particular events or portraits. Corsets were designed to be comfortable. Women wore a cotton layer underneath the corset, so it didn't rub against the skin. The corset was more like a bra, bit instead of using the shoulders to support it used the whole torso. Some people claim they are much more comfortable than modern bras. The intense proportions of the past were achieved with Corsets AND padding. Tight lacing was uncommon, but layers of petticoats or hoops or bum rolls or whatever else at the time was very common to give women the trendy body shape at the time."
– yikesemu
In The Ring
"The image of Roman gladiators fighting to the death. While there were many exhibition fights in the arenas where the goal was death, these were not gladiator contests. Prisoners, and the condemned, were thrown out to fight to the death, but not real gladiators.Training a gladiator was an expensive, and lengthy, investment and having them die constantly would be bad for business."
– Sorripto
"The Midnight Ride Of Paul Revere
"Paul Revere did not run around Massachusetts shouting "The British are coming" because if he did everyone would look at him like he'd lost his mind. ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE COLONIES WAS BRITISH!"
"He actually said, "The Regulars are coming""
– Kind-Detective1774
"He also only carried that message for a small stretch of the ride. There were about a half dozen messengers passing it along. We remember Paul Revere as the only rider because, no joke, his name fit best in Longfellow’s poem"
– JRBehr
All The Information
"The Lady who sued McDonalds didn't do so frivolously. She received third degree burns from how hot that coffee was, and needed a skin graft. It was quickly found that that location was keeping the coffee well above the temperature you can legally serve a hot drink in a cup at. The fact that most people think this suit was over the temperature of the coffee, and not the debilitating burns that woman recieved, is one of the PR worlds greatest triumphs. You are not immune to propaganda."
– P41nB0i
All You Read Is Not True
"That Einstein said “ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”"
– Tjblacka*s
""Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Albert Einstein"
– AceBean27
Math Genius
"Einstein never failed math, the rumor started from Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and Einstein actually responded to them saying “I never failed in mathematics. Before I was 15 I had mastered differential and integral calculus.” He wasn’t very good at the non-science related classes though and did fail French."
– Think-Huckleberry965
A Quiet Night
"The Boston Tea party didn’t have some grand celebration, a lot of the colonists were confused and it’s recorded as one of Boston’s most quiet nights"
– _britishpeople76
Time Difference
"A stegosaurus fighting a t rex. They lived millions of years apart . Stegosaurus 144 lived million years ago T rex 65 million years ago."
"Insane difference. Still almost most every dinosaur related media places them together."
– NLSecondguess
"Whatever the f*ck is on the History Channel nowadays."
– wiseowl777
"I know the exact moment I gave up on the History Channel. A guy came in to a pawn shop with a uniform and said, "it's from the war with the Philippines.""
"The guy in the shop said, "there's no such thing as the war with the Philippines.""
"My undergrad senior thesis was on the Philippine-American war."
– sadwer
"It ain't even historical anymore they should rename it as the "whatever we feel like it" channel"
– ami-the-gae
"What's Up, Doc?"
"Rabbits CANNOT live on a diet of carrots and fruits. It’s like asking a toddler to live on a diet of candy. They also cannot live on a diet of completely lettuce and leaves (though it’s close)."
"Rabbits need need need hay for a healthy diet, and pellets are heavily recommended as well(though they also have limits, should be in the bag according to the bunny’s weight). Greens are good, not to be the main main diet, and fruits or carrots can be given as treats."
"Bugs Bunny led a lot of people to believe rabbits live off of carrots. They do not. They will die if you expect them to live on a diet of 100% carrots."
– Random_Loaf
The Teeth Of The Matter
"That George Washington had wooden teeth. He had false teeth, yes. But they were made of ivory. He never had wooden teeth."
– randomthoughtsofnaps
A Wooden Horse?
"The Trojan Horse wasn't real. Historians are all pretty much unanimous on this."
– the-ender-enby
"My personal theory is that the trojan horse story relates to a traitor within Troy's cavalry"
– TheMissingThink
"William Howard Taft never got stuck in a bathtub!"
– Alexxx_starlet
"I also find it weird/hilarious/sad that that's what he's known for instead of being known for being the only person to have served as both President and Chief Justice of the Supreme Court."
– Flashpenny
Is it weird that I’m sad the bathtub thing turned out to be false?
People really need to think about tattoos.
Yes, they're cool sometimes.
But how many do you really need?
Some can seriously spoil a romantic moment.
Redditor Flowerlock wanted to hear about the body art that has left people less than attracted, so they asked:
"What tattoo is a turn off?"
I'm thinking about a tattoo, but I don't have the nerve.
This list may have me reconsider.
AHHHHHH!!!!
"When I was changing with my boyfriend for the first time, he took off his pants and his entire upper left leg was covered with giant leopard spots."
"I almost screamed."
TheBIackened
Follow the Letters
"Misspelled words."
simplyani
"Sometimes it can work out though..."
"Some time ago a girl tweeted she got a Waterparks song tattooed on her and it had been misspelt, which caught the attention of the band and they officially changed to the name of the song to match her misspelt tattoo."
"Just one of those rare instances in life that works out for some unfortunate girl who got a bad tattoo... lmao."
Charlie483
Just, whyyy?!
"Anything poorly drawn. My ex was a hot guy. He got a wolf tattoo on his chest. Omg, it had crossed eyes and a fat weird face and for some reason pine trees embedded in the fur. Ugh. Just, whyyy?!"
EdgeMiserable4381
"My neighbor got a wolf tat done when he was super drunk. Besides the fact that all the detail was blurry, the wolf had a short, stunted muzzle. It was like a pug with a glorious mane."
IntheCompanyofOgres
Basics
"I know everyone has different standards of quality and art is subjective but I think (within reason of course) the worst tattoo is just a badly done one. Lacking a basic understanding of anatomy, bad shading, terrible line quality, patchy colour, etc. I'm not a fan of certain tattoo styles but if they're done well I can respect them."
capricious_achelois
Know Better
"Random Chinese words on someone who has no idea what they even say."
chickadeedeedee_
"A friend of mine who visited Korea got a giant tattoo running down her back. She thought it meant 'love my family,' or something like that. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my other friend (a Korean) quietly translated it to 'foreigner.'"
Ccoyotee
Use a translation book friends.
Ownership
"Property of (NOT YOUR NAME)."
masterofallvillainy
"Plot twist: they only date people with the same name so they don't need to remove the tattoo."
HirokoKueh
Gross
"Giant pectoral swastika."
Senator_Chickpea
"Yeah my neighbor has one. He got it in prison years ago."
"As he says it, when he was young he got into trouble, went to prison, joined the Aryan brotherhood for protection, served his sentence and has been trying to distance himself from them for years."
"He got it removed but a scar remains. The scar isn't super big and obvious, but it is noticeable, like a slight mis-colouring of the skin, the kinda thing that draws your eye and your not sure you can see anything, but it's a very distinct pattern and your brain puts together what it is after a bit."
Bigbadsheeple
God Knows
"Only God can judge me."
hunterbidensLT
"A friend of mines father was supposed to get 'Only God can judge me' written in olde’ English font across the width of his back. The tattooist was dyslexic and managed to finish the tattoo with 'Only God can Jude me.'"
"He had to have a cover up of his entire upper back as it couldn’t be fixed. He was an absolute chopper of a bloke and got rinsed for years. People still call him Jude now."
Djr215
Puff Puff
"A Marijuana plant. I like smoking myself and do it often, but I wouldn’t go as far as to tattoo it on me. Those I’ve seen get it tatted on them normally revolve their whole personality around it which is very dull in my opinion."
yeyewestie
"Same goes for the people who wear marijuana leaf attire. My wife likes all that and brags how she’s a bigger pothead than me, and I feel like a fool when I have to be like okay? Like I have a job I can’t be strutting around in that crap... lol."
that_bearded_guy_94
Suddenly...
"My family and I once saw a biker with 'Seymour' written right above his butt crack when we were on a road trip."
Falling_Tomatoes
Be really, really, really sure about body art.
And make sure you like the stencil on your body BEFORE they start inking you.
We're talking placement and size. It never hurts to really think these things through.
Men Explain Which F**ked Up Things They're Supposed To Be Okay With Because They're Men
Why are men forced to be things they're not?
We are too far along as a society not to let the boys grow and evolve.
A good cry, a good laugh, a song, hug, a dance it out... can help anybody.
Or maybe just watch an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy.'
Redditor 040607AJF wanted all the guys out there to share how they "feel" so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what is something f**ked up that you're supposed to be okay with because you're a man?"
Gents, it's time to start healing and growing.
Go to sleep
"Having sex whenever she's in the mood. And if I say no she thinks something wrong with her so you get pressured into doing it so she won't be mad or feel sad."
dabbiedabbiedoo
Grief
"30 year old male from India. Lost my dad 20 days back in an accident Relatives and well wishers spend time talking and pacifying mom/sister and listen to them with patience. To me before they leave- 'Now it's your responsibility to take care of your mom/sister' and nothing else."
"What about my grief of losing a parent? How do I handle it? Who is going to pacify me? Who listens to me? Without support from my wife and my friends, I could have gone insane the way people expect me to treat grief."
pgaravindhsf
Red Flags
"Depression and loneliness, as much as I wish I could say the support gotten better it hasn’t. I see the 'mens mental health awareness month' bulls**t all over social media for a day once a year but then nobody speaks about it. Being depressed or saying you’re lonely can often be seen as a cry for attention or a 'red flag' for partners."
"People on social media think posting some picture of 'We need to support our men in the world!' Is going help, it doesn’t. If you legitimately care about the men in your life’s mental health please reach out to them and ask how they’ve been. Don’t compare to them and don’t undermine them just understand them. It does so much for them."
Senior-Place-7627
“figure it out”
"The fact that a lot of men have no guidance and are supposed to just figure s**t out or just know yet people will treat you like s**t for not knowing."
DeepTalkTv
"When I was younger I was always told to 'figure it out' cause I’m a man. Every time I needed help whether it be homework, a flat tire, or something I genuinely needed help with like applying for college/fafsa I was turned away because it was my problem. Now if any family needs my help I’m demonized if I say no. Like wtf man I was taught not to bother y’all why are y’all bothering me?!?"
Mountain_Ad1797
911
"You can ask for my help, but I can't ask for yours."
spenser1994
Leave me be...
"Some women should understand that men can be 'not in the mood' as well. I don't know why many people think that men will never say 'no.' I saw many on Twitter, sadly both men and women, thinking that men are these cartoonish wolves that will start salivating and have their eyes turn into hearts when anyone mentions the word 'sex.'"
Inevitable_Count_370
Out of the Norm
"Getting weird judgment from others for not conforming to the ‘traditional’ male role in a marriage or family. My wife is a highly driven genius, makes a great living, and loves what she does. I’m full time in the arts, and I’m not completely dependent on her, but I don’t have traditional employment or make a lot of money."
"I’ve had people in my life (especially older people) throw shade at me for not being ambitious enough or not having a real career. But together we’re doing much better than okay, and I’m probably gonna be the main caretaker when/if we have kids. I feel that if she were a man and I were a woman, nobody would question it at all."
LovesRefrain
Mind Games
"We aren't taught how to deal with emotions. (Mental health too)."
"I'm not advocating for men to be super-soft emotional wrecks, or to cry five times a week. But man I wish I knew I wasn't 'wrong' or 'weak' or 'avoiding becoming a man' just because I was sad, depressed, anxious and trying to deal with past events."
Maestroifuplz
"So many women in my lifetime have acted like I’m not a strong guy because I show emotion. I have a big heart and I’m not going to change that for anyone. But I’ve had relationships take an immediate downturn when I showed any kind of sensitive side."
Gamur
A New Leaf
"That If I ever finish my AA and teach preschool that I’ll be seen as a threat to children."
bahardesty
"I have known two men attempt to enter the teaching profession. My advice is don't! It really is not worth your time."
raceAround126
Oh gents, we all still have a long way to go.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
When singles finally find a romantic partner after what may have seemed like an eternal love drought, they make sure they put in all the effort it takes to keep that relationship going strong.
However, there are those who are convinced that the love they found is too good to be true–probably because they may feel they don't deserve it or because they have doubts.
That's the thing about those who don't trust a good thing when it happens. Their skepticism can be all-consuming and it can lead to self-sabotaging the relationship.
Curious to hear from those who struggle with the "what ifs" in their relationship, Redditor DinoNuggieVape asked:
"How do you cope with the fear of your partner cheating on you?"
A certain hobby is more likely to prevent wandering eyes.
Commitment To Knitting
"I’ve been cheated on by my only other long term partner beside my wife. I don’t worry about my wife because 1.) I trust her and 2.) having an affair would cut too much into her knitting time. Hell, I feel like 'the other man' when compared to yarn."
– JohnnyIsCross
Relatable Concern
"As someone who crochets, I’m sure this is how my partner feels 😂"
– shwee2019
Sew What?
"Mine sews. You're said the Perfect comment. I once complained to my wife about being second love. She sewed me a blanket, and it's now my most comfortable possession. Find the right one for you."
– BPGizza
Fixating on the possibility is the bigger problem, according to these love experts.
Stop Obsessing
"By coming to terms with the FACT that there is literally nothing you can do to control what another person chooses to do."
– Pairadockcickle
Find Your Self-Worth
"Too many people hang on to the idea of 'I can’t live without this person' love."
"Yeah, you can. Realizing you can exist on your own and be fulfilled. After that? You’ll realize you can survive a cheater."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Finding Independence In Love
"I can't live without this person"
"That's not love. It's obsession. Once you realize you don't need the other person to live, you can start to truly love them."
– Ch4l1t0
Fooled Once
"This. I had two partners (possibly three, not sure on the last one) that cheated on me. The first one I know for sure. It feels absolutely soul wrecking. So I do know how it feels. But I do also know the signs and what to look out for. Investigating phones or emails or listening for hushed conversations aside, the biggest tell tale is in the personality change. It happens 100% of the time. That is at least from talking to other people about it has led me to conclude anyway. You can always tell. And if you suspect, you could well be right."
"I'm not Mr. Paranoid or anything, but the reality is if she's going to cheat on you, then it's going to happen. There is nothing you can do, if it's going to happen, you can't control it. What you can control however is your reaction to it. And mine is very simple. End of relationship, block contact, see you later. The second time it happened to me, I didn't even offer an explanation. Her friend contacted me at some point asking why I had cold cut her out of my life and how it was so f'ked up of me to do so. I simply responded that I knew she was screwing someone behind my back, to which her friend replied, 'Oh you know about that? Well it really doesn't matter, it's you she wants!' I don't think I actually responded, I hung up."
"Getting past that business for the second time was remarkably easy. She had a few things left at my place which went into the bin, hoovered my house, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, threw out the few bits in the fridge as I used to get some food items that she liked but I never used, total clean out. I didn't feel the need to go nail a new girl that instant, instead spent the evening playing some guitar and watched a movie. I was perfectly happy and was done with the whole thing in an evening practically."
– raceAround126
The pain cuts deep, but these Redditors learned to move on.
Trust Goes A Long Way
"I’ve been cheated on by every partner I’ve ever had. I just got married 6 months ago to the only person I’ve ever actually trusted. It comes natural which is crazy… i do have moments where i het intrusive thoughts at random like 'what if…' but i snap myself out of it and remind myself how truly trustworthy this man is and how i know he loves me. A lot of commenters seem to not understand that being cheated on can cause a type of ptsd. It’s something you just work through."
– tmtm1119
Lingering Trauma
"Agree, my ex cheated on me 16 years ago and I think I will always have some doubts. My wife, who I've been with over 12 years, has never once done anything that would make me think she would cheat on me, and I trust her completely, but that trauma from 16 years ago is is still there, rearing it's ugly head from time to time."
– BigSlade2001
I find that being obsessed with the possibility of one cheating on another can manifest in ways that jeopardize a solid relationship.
It's more important to appreciate being in the moment when something is going well, whether it's a relationship or anything else applicable.
Because fixating on the "what ifs" can take up a lot of energy that could be better spent on enjoying a healthy relationship.
While your instincts are usually reliable, always remember that communicating a doubt that is becoming an obsession is vital to sustaining a trusting and respectful relationship.