We'd like to think we're generally refined, civil-mannered people in most situations.
That, however, doesn't mean we have occasional moments of being undignified.
At least people have the decency to reflect back on their childhood and comprehend that some of their past actions may have been, well, just nasty.
Curious to hear of the things strangers online were embarrassed about, Redditor purplemnem asked:
"What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever done?"
Sometimes, people never make it to the bathroom. Hey, sh*t happens. And it really did for these unfortunate Redditors.
Brown Bottom
"When I was a kid, I went out with my friend and his father's family. We ate Chinese and after my stomach was hurting. I was the first one outside so I tried to fart and sharted instead. I was about to run to the back of the building to wipe and throw boxers away (it was night time) but they came outside already."
"I didn't know what to do so I got back in the truck. It just happened to be the kind where you open the front to get back door open. I rode all the way home (30mins) with sh*tty pants. They didn't say anything but drove with all windows down. to make it worse, when I got home I had to climb over someone to get out because I was in the middle seat so my a** went right by the daughters face."
Making A Splash
"I wasn't feeling well so I took a nap. I woke up feeling even worse, so I tried going downstairs to tell my wife."
"I was in my boxers and t-shirt."
"At the top of the stairs I puked so hard I fainted, then had explosive diarrhea. I woke up half way down the (carpeted) stairs, slowly sliding down it on a 'waterslide' of my own sh*t and vomit."
– Lamoron
The Soiled Seat
"I’m paralyzed from the waist down. One day at work I started farting big time and that made me nervous. Then it suddenly just stopped but the smell followed me around. So I’m cruising around in my wheelchair and I happen to take a peek behind me, down the back of my pants. Sh*t everywhere. Sh*t climbing up my back because my pants are full and the motion of wheeling around was pushing it up my shirt. The backrest has feces all over it and I swear to god it was making this squishy sound as I made my way to see my boss. I just told him I was sick and had to leave immediately because by now it’s really obvious and I want to get the f'k out of there pronto. I put towels all over my van seat but it was not a pleasant ride home."
– Confounded_Bridge
Escape Hatch Fashion
"Apparently when my dad was in Jr. High, he was running to the bathroom... and didn't make it.. He was wearing those 70s short shorts.. and shook his pant-leg and a big a** turd fell out, and he ran home lmfaoooooo"
"Dad why would you tell me that."
– LordBligger
It's easier to blame our potty incidents outside the bathroom on our innocence.
Fountain For The Youth
"When my sister and I were really young, probably around 5, we would use those little dixie cups to drink out of the toilet."
– yendornilloc
A Slippery Slope
"when I was a kid learning to ski i begged my parents to let me go pee before a run but we were already in line for the chairlift. my oldest sister told me 'if you have to pee really bad, that means it’s only a little bit! so just pee!'”
"i trusted her blindly but probably pissed myself for a solid 2 minutes. filled up and flooded my ski boots. my parents were not happy because it was definitely old enough to know better"
– badluckie
Losing Traction
"Not really my fault but in second grade I got a stomach bug, and my parents didn’t want to answer the phone so the stupid nurse sent me back to class. We were at p.e at the time, and I got horribly sick again, just as I finished throwing up a kid had kicked a kickball. The sound it made as it slid through my vom is still with me to this day."
– htxxalxx
Better To Avoid Bullying
"I pissed my pants behind the water fountain at school in like 4th grade because I was afraid of the mean girls in the bathroom."
– throwawaymeplease45
KIDdy Litter
"I accidentally sh*t my pants outside at some after school program at my school, I decided instead of going inside it’d be better to hide in the tube slide, take the sh*t out of my pants and bury it in the sandbox."
– Prestigious_Pass9599
The Experiment
"When I was about 8, I wanted to see what happened if I took of my pants and ran down the hill while peeing."
"...Such a bad idea."
– shiroboi
Leaving A Token Of Appreciation
"When I was about four years old, I was at a video rental store and shook out a little nugget of a turd that fell down my pant leg and was left by the video games."
– littleallred008
Classroom Poo-Pourri
"In 5th grade I used to shit tiny little turds in my pants, discreetly take out the turd and encapsulate it in my hand, get up to 'blow my nose,' then I would put the turd in the tissue and throw it away in the trash can. Teacher then wonders why the classroom stinks and can't find the source. Why did I do this lmao."
– Phantom-A
Just because they've grown up, it didn't mean things got any better in the body control department.
Labor Pains
"when i was in high school, i was so constipated, a poop as wide as an egg's length was stuck inside of me. i strained and pushed to no avail, and eventually had to stick a lubed-up finger inside, trying desperately to work my way around this monster and crack a chunk off. no dice. i ended up laying in the bathtub with my legs up in the air, butthole pointed straight at the hot water blasting from the tub faucet, praying that it would be dislodged. eventually enough chunks came off that i was able to poop it out, and it felt like dry, cracked birth."
– robodook
Liquid Disguise
"Pissed myself while I was really drunk and couldn't admit it so poured at my alcohol on myself to make it seem like I'd somehow gotten a bunch of liquid spilled on me. Since I was in a club that plan wasn't working, as you can imagine you can't just acquire that much alcohol for free and quickly, so I ended up trying to get into a sink in the bathroom and ended up getting taken away in an ambulance due to slipping. That sounds a lot less funny when I say it like that actually."
– Haloperi-Doll
Breakfast For Fido
"One morning I was getting ready for work, still naked from just waking up and not feeling to good either. I made the mistake of trusting a fart and small bit of liquid hit the floor, I tried to run to the counter to grab paper towels but before I could react my dog was already lapping it up..."
– Scootacus93
The Ultimate Sh*t-mus Test
"Sh*t my pants on a third date. Was crawling into bed for sexy time in her dorm. Didn’t realize I was food poisoned but tried to make it to the bathroom down the hall."
"Ended up leaned against the wall, holding my gut, sh**ting all in my pants down into the socks was how much I sh*t myself."
"EDIT: For people asking for Part 2 - By some grace of God, I had left her room wrapped in a blanket cause I had a legendary boner before my stomach became a poisoned sinkhole. So I waddled into the bathroom, trashed all the clothes I was wearing below the waist, and proceeded to empty my entire body into the toilet."
"So I came back to her dorm room huddled under the blanket and was largely incapacitated for the next day. She made me food for the next 24 hours and helped me get clothes."
"Now she is wife. So, advice boys, make sure to sh*t yourself to trigger the latent caring instincts of any potential partner."
– TheArchitect_7
So basically, "nastiest" incidents meant dropping a deuce nowhere near a bathroom.
The next time you're uncertain if your next flatulence would expel more than just fumes, make sure you make a run to the nearest restroom.
Otherwise, you might find your experience added here on this Reddit thread.
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"What companies shamelessly make sh*t products, year after year?"
False Advertising
"Holiday gift basket companies."
"I once felt obliged to buy one from a lady I worked with and it cost around fifty dollars."
"She had a brochure with various baskets and I chose one that was assorted candies and had a decorative wooden rocking horse."
"When it arrived it was just a bag of candy that I could have paid 35 cents for at a gas station."- Artai55a
30 rock gift basket GIFGiphySave A Few Cents For Inferior Quality
"It’s a throwback, but rose art for sure."
"They just decided their destiny was to sit on the shelf next to Crayola and get purchased by folks who are balling on a budget or cheap."
"No goals for product improvement at all."
"Just 'hey, wanna save three bucks?'"- Lucetti
Improvements Unlikely In This Digital Age
"Any printer manufacturer."- gbeegz
"HP printers."
"I have a $600 fancy laser HP printer we got six or seven years ago, and they have succeeded in updating the software to the point that nothing works anymore."
"I used to be able to print over Wi-Fi easily, scan over Wi-Fi, etc and now none of it works."
"I haven't changed any of my network hardware, things are hardwired."
"Also, I used to be able to use aftermarket ink cartridges and the printer has started giving me sh*t about it."
"I really like HP's computers, but their printers are a bunch of bullsh*t."
"Oh and their auto-update software won't go away even though I keep disabling/ removing it, and it installs software updates that breaks the current functions."- Bazirker
It's The Customer Service You Pay For...
"Oracle."
"Products intentionally sh*tty so they can make most of their money selling consulting just to make it, sort of, work."- s-starr
One Reason Sports Should Always Be Played Outside
"EA sports titles."- Stitches_Ito
Even Carrie Bradshaw Doesn't Like Shoe Shopping THAT Much...
"Doc Martens."
"My old pair from 20 years ago are still going strong, any new pair I get craps out after a year."- korar67
Doc Martens Shoes GIF by SORANGiphyScreaming For Ice Cream... And Not In A Good Way...
"Breyers and their 'Frozen Dairy Dessert' nonsense."
"Before 2006, Breyers ice cream was really good!"
"I loved their coffee ice cream!"
"And then they changed their formula and made the mess they have now to the point that they can't even legally call it ice cream anymore."
"Does anyone remember those old Breyers commercials where the kid tries to read the ingredients on an inferior product and struggles to pronounce things like 'mono & diglycerides' and then easily reads Breyers ingredients as 'milk, sugar, and cream?'"
"What a joke."
"Unilever loves to buy brands people trust for quality products and use that trusted brand name to get people to buy lower quality for higher prices."
"It seriously has the same consistency as Cool Whip now."
"And Unilever has the audacity to say that this is what customers asked for!"- akittyafterus
World Cup Wow GIF by FIFAWho Exactly Is His Audience?
"If lockpickinglawyer is anything to go on its lock-companies."- knatten555
Literally Selling Sh*t...
"Home Depot has been selling manure since its founding in 1978."
"In fact, a quick search of the website found they proudly sell over 178 manure products."- atomicscateboard
The Original "Catfishers"...
"Mad Catz got away with murder for years."- Einar_47
Apple Is Listening...
"Samsung appliances."
"F*CK YOUR FIRMWARE UPDATE ON THE FRIDGE!"
"Also those plastic trays keep breaking and are sh*t quality."
"My 1987 Maytag is still cranking the coldest brews on earth and hasn't been serviced ever in its life and sits in a dark room in my basement since he was demoted from the kitchen for being out of fashion by my wife."- zendor666
Customers Weren't Looking For An Authentic "Frontier" Experience...
"Frontier Airlines."
"Sh*t experience, customer service, quality, reliability, comfort, convenience and fees."- Micklikesmonkeys
There are those who always like to give second chances whenever possible.
When it comes to spending a little more money for a more reliable product, however, customers should rightfully be one and done.
Redditor AdonisBlackwood wanted everyone to share about the spooky things they've seen or experienced, so they asked:
"What paranormal activities have you witnessed?"
I hear things in my house.
At all hours.
Whispers. Clangs. Clacks.
And at night... there is a shadow.
Flying Foods
Chef Cooking GIFGiphy"A package of corn tortillas literally jumped off the shelf and onto the floor once at a large grocery store right in front of me. They did not slide nor did they fall. There was no one else around. I thought it was a sign to make enchiladas or something but it was also quite frightening."
_perl_
At Home
"Lights turning off/on. Items flying off of shelves/counters. One time when I was home at night by myself, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and the bottom of one half of my scarf that I had draped over the top of my bathroom door was suspended at a 20-degree angle, including the tassels in midair. At this point, so many things were happening in my apartment (including physical welts down my back) that I was terrified to be in it."
"I ended up getting dressed and going outside the building before I broke down crying and called my grandma to come to pick me up. At a different time, my friend and I were outside the building smoking when we heard what sounded like someone thrashing my apartment. I'm talking chairs being smashed into walls, shelves being tipped over. I was the only person living in the building at the time."
"We raced upstairs to catch whoever it was but not a single thing was moved in my apartment and all the other units were locked (I checked). I never saw a ghost, apparition, shadow, etc. When we first moved in, everyone hated coming into our building. They said it felt off. My ex and I never felt that way at first and thought everyone was exaggerating."
"By the time I moved, I wouldn't speak about ghosts or watch anything remotely paranormal in my apartment. Eventually, I watched the Paranormal Activities at a friend's and cannot describe the chill I felt. Similar things were happening in my own home. Haven't experienced anything like it since I moved."
ElectronicDiscoBeans
Louder & Louder
"Not sure if this is considered paranormal, but when I get fevers as a child, I would always, in my fugue and pain-infused state, hear a man counting in a very deep voice. He would count from 1 and up; as the numbers get larger, the voice gets louder and more intense."
"It started to get less frequent as I grew older and now I do not experience it anymore. I've brushed it aside as a recurring nightmare until only recently, I've learned that my sister would experience the exact same thing when she was younger as well. It's not the scariest thing, but it does send shivers down my spine trying to comprehend this."
Issualave
I Froze
"I work in a cemetery. One evening I stayed late to do some catch-up work. I was taking pictures of some granite samples to have on my phone and had already locked up. I was alone. As I was holding my phone, I heard the doorway to the basement swing open, slam shut, and heard footsteps go down the stairs. I froze."
"I thought for sure someone had come in. I called out to see if it was someone from maintenance. No reply. I got scared because if it wasn’t them someone had broken in. I stayed still for a bit and listened then called out again. Nothing. Finally, I got brave enough to look. No one was there. I peeked down in the basement, empty. All the doors were still locked."
DannyPantsgasm
Face to Face
The Shining Halloween GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy"At least once every couple of years, I'll be walking around the apartment at night, when it's dark, but I can still see enough to get around, and I'll have some shadow/figure type thing suddenly come out of nowhere and get right up in my face, so close that I can feel like I'm breathing on it. It disappears immediately after."
coldshadow31
I am convinced that every home is haunted.
We mortals just have to adjust.
In the Stars
"One night me, my dad, and a friend of his were standing outside watching the stars."
Carl Sagan Space GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphy"After a bit of watching, what appeared to be a shooting star made a sudden and sharp 90-degree turn and then kept going for about 15 seconds and then did an equally sharp and sudden 90-degree turn to disappear a few seconds later. We all saw the same thing, but none of us had a good explanation of what we saw."
JonaJonaL
Grandma
"My brother was on the phone once with his gf when she started saying that she could hear some old lady asking my brother for a glass of water. There was nobody around him so he ignored it but she kept on insisting. He hung up the phone and went to check on our grandma who was in her bedroom and found her dead. Fast forward a couple of years, around 11 pm, I was on the phone with a girl when I saw a guy on a bicycle go past (phone was by the windowsill. Same spot as my brother)."
"That's when I noticed she stopped talking and asked her if she was still there. She apologized as she thought I got into trouble. I said no and asked why she said that and she replied with someone was telling me to 'stop talking on the phone, it's late. Go to bed.' I was on my own, everybody in the house was already asleep."
"I asked her if it was an old lady and she said yes. Told her it was my grandma and that the same thing happened to my brother. She started talking about ghosts and stuff so I told her I'm hanging up and bolted into my room."
ghentres
The humanoid shadow figure
"One time I woke up in the middle of the night and I checked my phone to see the time, and then as I was about to lay down and close my eyes I checked in front of me and a huge tall humanoid shadow figure was standing there blocking the view of a broken wall clock and I just started panicking and it still was there after many seconds and eventually it just disappeared after I looked away from it for a second."
AppleIsTheBest124
In the Ravine
"My family's old house backed onto a pretty substantial, forested ravine. I slept on the ground-level floor, and my room was at the back of the house. On 4 separate occasions, over the span of 5 years, I saw a middle-aged man dressed in a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and a red hat walk through my room with a dog leash in his hand."
"He would briefly stop at the same spot every time, and look around, then keep walking towards the ravine. I should note that this was fairly new construction in a suburb of a small city, and all that had been there previously was a forest."
"I think he lost his dog in the ravine at some point, and he was there trying to find it."
mikeytruelove
Gettysburg
Whoopi Goldberg Comedy GIFGiphy"I saw a ghost sleeping in the same bed as my brother at a bed-n-breakfast in Gettysburg."
ccottonball
"Gettysburg has such an oppressive heavy feeling in the air. It's absolutely beautiful but it reminds me of the home I grew up in VA in the Bull Run Battlefield."
Chichi_lovesme
The ghosts of war are always in unrest.
Well, most ghosts in general are in unrest.
And they clearly visit often.
Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.
Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.
Customer service can be a downright toxic job.
And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.
Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.
That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.
Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:
"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"
I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!
I loathe them!
Oh Dear
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphyI used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."
"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"
"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."
slappy_mcslapenstein
The Crappy People
"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."
"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."
11catsinahumansuit
"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"
Sharp-Demand-6614
Go to Holiday Inn
"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."
cryptnificent
"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."
"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."
ItsBobFromLumbridge
Heartless
"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."
Rizza1122
"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."
Less-Storage
Go to Home Depot
You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."
Eattherich187
Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.
There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.
Switcharoo
Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."
A Little Sunshine
"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."
Axel_Dunce
"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."
Ok-Ad-7247
LELU
"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."
"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."
MidniteMischief
Cookies!!
"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."
"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."
Frequent-Selection91
Look in the Back
"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."
"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."
A_Womans_Thoughts
From the Box
Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."
SailorVenus23
Sunny D and champagne?!?!
What in the name of Lucifer?
Who does that?!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.