People Who Knew A Murderer Break Down Whether They Noticed Any Red Flags Or Not
What separates a human being from a monster?
It's an age-old question about humanity. How is a species that is born out of love and blessed with the ability for critical thinking and making others happy capable of committing unspeakable acts of horror?
The scary thing is anyone is capable of the worst kind of crime–taking another's life.
Does it take one unfortunate moment in a fit of rage or cross paths with the wrong individual resulting in a person snapping and killing someone?
Or, are some of us born with the murder gene?
To answer these questions, Redditor akd432 dug deep into the dark side of humanity and asked:
"People who know murderers, were there any signs that something was off? If so, what were they?"
It could be anyone.
It Started With The Barking Dog
"One of my former co workers decided to shoot a house all because a dog was barking in the back yard of a different house, went on a shooting spree killing the entire family except for the infant that was on the second floor."
"Only thing that was off was his drinking problem."
The Friend's Brother
"I’ve met several after the fact, but this is about one I met weeks before the murder."
"My then-husband and I were hanging out and met up with a friend of his and the friend’s girlfriend. The friend gets a call from his brother and invites him join us. The brother arrives, and pretty soon afterwards, the whole vibe changed."
"My ex knew both men since all three were kids, so he was relaxed enough to start drinking around them. I was babysitting a wine cooler because I’m the next thing to a teetotaler and was the designated driver. I kept noticing the brother staring at me, but tried to ignore it, but it quickly became very uncomfortable. I’m nothing special to look at facially, I got the mom-bod on lock, and I was with my husband."
"The brother then asks me why I’m not drinking. I explained that I’m not a real drinker and added that I like to be aware of who and what’s around me. So he asked my husband why I wasn’t drinking. I don’t remember his response, but dude looks at me and says 'we need to get you drunk.'”
"I left to go sit in the car, because wtf was that. I didn’t feel safe or protected because my ex wasn’t even paying attention. About 20 minutes later, dude walks up to my car and asks if I can take him to the corner store. I reminded him that he had a car and he replied that he couldn’t drive because he’d been drinking. I told him I wouldn’t take him, which led to us staring at each other in silence for several moments. He broke the silence by saying 'I bet you’re real loyal. A loyal girl. A good girl. I know that motherf'ker get anything he want from you.' Then he laughed and walked away."
"When I told my ex the next day, he wasn’t bothered and was making excuses for the friend’s brother’s behavior. A few weeks later, there was a report on the news about the body of a woman being found in my exe’s old neighborhood. Find out later she’s been murdered. It didn’t take long to find and arrest her killer, aka the friend’s brother."
Some kids show signs of being unstable but are easily dismissed as nothing serious until it was too late.
Don't F'k With Squirrels
"I’ve posted about it before but a kid down the street talked about killing squirrels for fun. He was 7ish years old."
"He moved away and we forgot about him."
"20 years later we saw him in the news for brutally killing his parents."
Led By Vengeance
"I knew Christopher Bennett as a child. Honestly I thought he was a bit of a jerk, then again most little boys are mean to little girls. Especially little girls who are 3 years younger than them and seem to think they can do whatever the boys are doing. Last time I saw him, we had grown up a little, I was 11, he was about 14, he wasn't as mean as I had remembered him. Did I see it coming, no, most people didn't. I mean he was getting into trouble a lot but murder, never thought he had it in him. Then again he was right to kill the bastard he did and I think a lot of other people would become murders if they saw what he did."
"I spent a lot of time at a friend's house when I was 6-9 years old. He had a brother who was like 3 years older than us, who I remember as being generally nice, but I have one weird memory of him absolutely losing his sh*t when he tried to teach me and his brother to roller blade and I couldn't get it--like throwing things and weeping uncontrollably. When I was in high school, found out that he had joined the military, and while he was deployed he got court martialed for killing civilians and keeping body parts (fingers, ears) as trophies."
Family members share their horrific experiences of being related to a murderer.
The Jealous Sister
"Knew a girl as a freshman in college who was mean, obviously mentally unstable, and not too bright. When her fraternal twin sister fell in love with a good friend of mine, she became enraged with jealousy and could not let it go. Her sister begged her to get help and there was a huge blowout in a hallway on campus where my friend had to intervene to prevent his girlfriend from getting stabbed by her sister. The police were called to campus and she spent a week in jail before her sister decided to not press charges. Her remaining friends dropped out of her life because of her actions and unwillingness to get help. She got kicked out of college shortly after threatening the guidance counselor who was giving her one last chance and moved back in with her parents. When her sister went home for Christmas with my friend to introduce him to her parents, I told him to watch his back. They hadn’t even made it all the way into the house before they were attacked and repeatedly stabbed. My friend died on the porch and she died at the hospital the next day. The murderous sister was beaten to death in a jail fight a few days later.
"I met their older brother, who I didn’t even know existed, at the funeral for the good sister. He said he had gone no contact with the family years before for his own protection because his parents refused to do anything about the mental health problems that his little sister always had, even as a small child."
The Off Uncle
"One of my uncles murdered his wife. He was out of jail by the time I was a kid. Yes, there was always something off about him. My mother told me he was always violent and had a sadistic streak - he liked to make people afraid. He mellowed out as he got older but he was always a user and always looking to take advantage where he could. I’m pretty sure he was a sociopath. My mother had a lot of siblings and he was the only one like this."
You think you know someone.
No Murder Vibes
"For 4 years I worked 4 desks away from someone who was arrested and convicted of a 32 year old cold case murder. Dude was an a**hole but didn't give off murder vibes. The general reaction was 'huh, I hope his replacement is less of a d*ick."
She Suddenly Snapped
"I knew someone who killed her mother."
"No, absolutely no warning at all. No hints to look back on and say we should have seen it coming."
"She was a perfectly average suburban wife and mother who woke up one day and snapped. And ended up being featured on Snapped."
"She’s currently serving out a 40 year term."
– 5footfilly ·
People joke about individuals going postal when pushed to their limits, but that's all it takes for someone to abandon all sense of logic and go on a killing spree.
But there are also those who have mental issues and are cast off from society and can be triggered to act on any suppressed violent impulses as a possible reaction to being neglected and unloved.
Either way, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what drives anyone to murder.
And the scary thing is, you never really know who a coworker really is when they're off the clock, a neighbor who never leaves their house, or even a family member who has a history of being the polite one.
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- People Who've Known A Murderer Break Down Red Flags They Didn't Notice At The Time ›
People Share The Things They Miss That Disappeared During The Pandemic
Reddit user jdward01 asked: 'What do you miss that disappeared during the pandemic?'
There's no question that the pandemic changed the world, and as the pandemic grew from a month-long hiatus to a three-year one, it's disconcerting to think of how much things have changed.
For some, basic conveniences, entertainment, and those things we used to take for granted are the things they still miss the most.
Redditor jdward01 asked:
"What do you miss that disappeared during the pandemic?"
"Driving really seems to have gotten worse, hasn’t it? I can’t figure it out."
"Being passed in the turn lane on a three-lane road. Never in my life saw it before the pandemic. Then it turned into once every several weeks."
"Also, the police completely stopped doing anything about basic laws. Having the person in front of you slam on their brakes and realize they have no brake lights is a blast."
"Also, license plates were ‘optional’ around here until very very recently. But I still can’t remember the last time I saw a police officer pulling over speeders on the highway."
"My belief that most people are reasonable and compassionate."
Good Quality Meals
"24-hour stores and food that had better quality."
"It seems like all food has gone down in quality. Fast food, sit-down restaurants, take out, and grocery stores."
"I took my daughter to Applebee's yesterday (her pick) and I'm not saying their food was ever fantastic, but there was a very noticeable difference in the food from even the past year or two. I've noticed this in several restaurants lately. It's getting harder and harder to find decent restaurant food anymore."
"It sucks because I hate cooking, lol (laughing out loud)."
"General friendliness. People care less about each other than they used to."
"Civility. I mean, it wasn't great to begin with, but post-pandemic, no one seems to know how to act in public anymore."
Ability to Socialize
"My social skills."
"Seriously. I found myself extremely awkward as things started opening up."
"And social stamina! I went to a baby shower for two and a half hours and to a department store for like an hour yesterday. Came home SO exhausted that I took a nap for an hour. Then a few hours later I went to bed and slept THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT. Like what the f**k?"
"I miss when I enjoyed my job, I'm sure I'm not the only one, but the pandemic really changed the way my hospital runs and not for the better. All the good staff who could jumped ship, and if they replace them at all, it's with a traveler or a warm body, and our quality of care has certainly suffered."
"Not to mention, the organization I work for is buying up all sorts of s**t but when we need vital equipment, we are told how there is no money for it. Even more insulting is this stupid f**king robot they bought that's sole purpose is to deliver things between departments. I'm pretty close to quitting healthcare forever at this point."
"Normally I don't entertain when people s**t on America, but for real as someone on the inside our healthcare system is f**king appalling."
"I came here to post this, it’s not really related to my hospital but just to my disillusionment with medicine in general. I used to feel proud and honored to be a physician. Now it’s just a job and a path to retirement, as early as possible. I’m burnt to a crisp and jaded beyond repair. I’m 40 years old."
"S**t being open after nine o'clock. Working second shift got harder when everything is closed after."
"24-hour places don't exist anymore either. Even Walmart isn't 24 hours anymore here. The only things open 24 hours are my local grocery, gas stations, and McDonald's."
Walmart and McDonald's
"24-hour Walmart and all-day breakfast at McDonald's."
"Humans need so much STUFF and it all costs money. All this irritating need for food and toothpaste and electricity and whatnot. Why is it so expensive?"
"I had been saving to buy a house and recognized that everything was going to go bad soon so I closed on a house in June 2020. I don't know when we'll see interest rates that low again."
"My wife and I had the same thought in summer 2020. We bought a small house for what seemed like too much money then."
"Our house is now worth 100k+ more. Good for me, but my friends who have decent jobs tried to buy like three months after us and even though they were in a near exact situation that we were in, their hopes were dashed."
"It’s been three years. They’re still looking, but their option pool is small and pretty terrible."
"Mom for me."
"Paper menus. I'm tired of scanning a QR code and dealing with terrible interfaces and slow wifi just to order a meal."
"I work in a grocery store. We were deemed essential services and were forced to work. We didn't want to be called heroes, the people did to make themselves feel better. Now that the pandemic is over, the people are back to treating us like garbage again."
"My job... company went under. It was a love-hate relationship, but I've suffered for it."
The pandemic impacted everyone and with long-lasting effects. But some of the things we're left missing after the pandemic are the same things we took for granted before.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Some people have the tendency to hold things in so as not to risk ruffling feathers or facing huge embarrassment.
The problem with that, however, is that these secrets can fester and become unbearable to live with.
At some point, something's gotta give, and it can be worth the release.
Curious to hear examples of those kinds of scenarios, Redditor FazzyPhonix asked:
"What’s something you need to get off your chest but haven’t yet?"
When it comes to finding love, it's complicated.
"I’ve never experienced genuine, romantic love. I have had opportunities for it. But I never really felt like I could develop it."
Concept Of Dating
"Aroace here. I can't believe how long I spent waiting for romantic feelings. Dating sounds like a good idea, but I have never once wanted to date anyone in particular. Frankly, it's infuriating."
"I’m madly in love with my ex and can’t move on. He’s across the country and I can’t even look at anyone else because of how I feel. It’s been almost 2 years, I don’t want to feel this way anymore but I can’t make it go away."
"There, that helped a little."
Some people are deep in despair but don't show it.
"I used to self harm by cutting and making myself throw up, I've dealt with several eating disorders and am pretty much still in one currently, I feel stuck in a life that doesn't seem to be going anywhere and I'm kind of just surviving at the moment."
"I was in that boat and thinking about ending it. Everything was just boring. In the end I’m glad I didn’t; I’ve had a great couple years. I got engaged and found an amazing house with my fiancée. Now I’m trying to make everyone’s life around me a little better everyday. Whenever I see a post like this I always think about how happy I am I stuck around. Even though you’re just treading water now, you’ll catch a current and go somewhere soon. Just keep hanging on for now, I know things will get better for you and you’ll be looking back happily one day."
Some people wish to avoid placing burden on others by keeping personal matters a secret.
"I have to go get a biopsy done because I might have cancer. From what I read, I shouldn’t be overly worried but if it did come back positive there is a little more then a 50% chance I won’t be here in 5 years. Haven’t really told anybody, because it could very well be nothing but f'k it is keeping me up at night."
"Edit: thanks for the love everybody, should be fine. As people have mentioned, could come back negative, could be cancerous but benign. The idea is I just got to know, because I feel like my life is on pause until I find out. ❤️ back at everybody."
"Don’t put it off. I put off going to the dr when starting having some downstairs problems. Turned out it was stage 2 cervical cancer. If only I’d have gone to the dr sooner? Maybe the tumour wouldn’t have been so big, I might not have needed so much chemo or radio and I can’t stop thinking about how I should have done it sooner as it’s had so much of an impact on my life."
Some feel a loss so deep, they think it's best to just go through it alone.
Old Best Friend
"I miss my best friend but I do think it's better that we're apart. I try not to think about it."
Mourning The Death Of A Friendship
"Best friend from school beat up his baby mama infront of me and I had to intervene. Turned out it had been going on secretly for a long time. Never would have expected it had i not seen it myself. Ended up having to be a witness in court anf give evidence to help her and the kid get the restraining order. I did the right thing, her and the little girl and happy and he's stopped drinking and has visitation rights now. Me and him are done though, well never be friends again. I mourn him as if he were dead."
"Broke up with my best friend of 9 years almost 8 years ago now. I still miss him at times but eventually got to the point where I saw how toxic that relationship became and know im way better off having ended it. Took a couple years to get there."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
People Break Down Which Words Or Phrases Are Red Flags When Meeting Someone
First impressions can be misleading, to the point of being dangerous.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in Pride and Prejudice (whose original title was, in fact, First Impressions) the person who ends up being the love of your life might seem utterly loathsome upon a first meeting.
Even so, it's hard not to snap to judgment when meeting someone for the first time, particularly based on what they say.
Be it a difference in political or religious beliefs, or simply something shockingly rude or ignorant, all it can take is a few words or idioms to make us never want to see or hear from someone ever again.
"What words/phrases do you hear someone say and immediately know you’re probably not going to like the person?"
Is It Even Love?
"'Tough love' often seems to be used as an excuse to be a dick. I get it when it's like an intervention, but most times I've personally heard it this was just people who wanted to start sh*t." -Reddit
That Could Be ONE Reason...
“'People don’t like me because I tell it like it is'.”- MassiveProductions
Taking Others Down Is No Way To Pick Yourself Up...
"If a person humiliates others for the sake of boosting his own ego, I immediately stop communicating with that person."- AnastasiaFridmean girls ugh GIFGiphy
Or Just Brutal?
“I’m brutally honest”- -not-pennys-boat-
And That's A Problem Because...?
“You’re so quiet”- WearyPigeon
Not Everyone Likes Their Family...
"'We're a family here' in a work setting."
"Mother f*cker you just laid off 'cousin' Bill."- recoil669Hbo Are We Doing This GIF by SuccessionHBOGiphy
If You Think It Might Cause Offense, Then Maybe Don't Say It?
“'No offense, but…', just before saying the most offensive thing you’ve heard in your life."- lisathethrowaway
A Disability Should Never Be A Punch
“'I’m so bipolar' to explain why they are indecisive or to play off poor life choices."
"Or just to say to sound quirky."
"Really hate that."
"I’m bipolar and rarely tell anyone."- PerplexedPoppy
Then Don't Cause Any!!!
"'I hate drama'."
"I have never heard someone say this, unsolicited, and not been exhausted with their shenanigans within a day."- SpodsonDrama Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Definitely Not Something To Brag About...
"Describes himself as an Alpha Male."
"Tells you implausible stories about how tough he is/how many women he's 'Banged'."
"Yeah, me and you gonna fall out soon buddy."- Johhnymaddog316
"'Do you know who I am?'"- Brave_D*ck
A Handshake Is Always The Best Place To Start...
"Where’s my huuuuug?"
"Immediately no."- xPunkdaddyCome Austin Powers GIFGiphy
Never A Good Sign If They Always Need To Declare Who They Are...
"As an empath --"- paramidia
"Good vibes only and 'I’m such an empath'."- Blacklotusispunk
Where To Even Begin...?
"'Why didn't they just take the eagles to Mordor?'"- Calligasterlord of the rings no GIFGiphy
There's a reason our parents told us to choose our words carefully.
Sometimes the things people say can cause more pain and harm than physical violence of any kind.
The Best Pickup Lines People Have Ever Heard
Meeting someone new isn't easy, especially if it's someone you want to snuggle with.
How do you say "hi" and be cool?
How do we weed out the crazies who say "hi?"
There has to be a perfect way.
Who has used some good verbiage that set you aflame?
Redditor Educational-Coast304 wanted to hear the most creative ways we've all been picked up, so they asked:
"What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever heard?"
There is no magic line for me.
But I'm a lifelong pessimist.
Let's PlayMarcus Scribner Comedy GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"When I was teaching kindergarten, one of my students (who knew I love video games) dropped this one on me..."
“'You’re pretty. You should come to my house after school and we can play Little Big Planet. My mom makes great snacks.'”
"His mom and I had a good laugh about it at pick-up time."
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says..."
"3 boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"
"Next day he is gone. The 2nd boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, 'Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.'"
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me. 'Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?' And I say 'yes.' And she says, 'Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.' All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling.
"I said,' 'Check please bartender!!' I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
"A woman once told me 'Every time I drink tequila I wind up sleeping with someone' and then proceeded to take a shot of tequila while holding eye contact with me."
"LOL, I was on a date in Hawaii and she said 'Tequila either makes me h**ny or angry' and I replied 'Don’t be angry, be the other one' and she went to buy us more tequila shots."
"I was so drunk I fell asleep on the car ride and she dropped me off."
"They said ‘best pickup line’ not ‘best drop off line’ lol."
"I was at my friend's house and his 5-year-old brother grabbed one of our friends by the hand and asked if he could play her a song on his guitar. She said yes, he picked up his guitar but stopped just before strumming it, thought for about 30 seconds, and said 'I don't know any songs for princesses.'"
"That little kid had way more game that 19-year-old me had."
"When I was a student at University, I saw a pretty girl eating a particular brand of yogurt in the crowded dining hall before morning classes."
"I had the same brand of yogurt on my tray. I asked if I could sit at her table and she nodded. I looked across the table at her and pointed at her yogurt and said with a big shmucky smile 'Yoplait or mine?' It was said with humor and not as a pickup line. I ended up marrying that pretty girl. Amazing, given the horrible first line."
This is why I have never trusted any Yogurt.
Convince me otherwise!
I'm Hungry!hungry feed me GIFGiphy
"It’s not a pickup line as such, but this guy once said to me in passing, 'GIIIIRRRLL, I wanna feed you STEAK and GRAPES!' and I have never forgotten."
"Once was at a festival where an org was giving out free condoms at a booth. One of the ladies is talking to a guy and a girl saying 'the condoms are free by the way, take as many as you want... oh but we don't have unlimited stock so please don't take more than you need.'"
"The girl picks up a condom, turns to the guy, and says 'Wanna share?'"
"It was the first snowfall of the season. The person and I were walking around campus together - we were friends who were heading out to grab a snack in between classes. We were quietly walking when the person suddenly said to me: 'The snow looks beautiful today.' In my native language, my name means snow/frost/ice. Turned out they were hitting on me and I didn't realize until later."
Over the Shoulder
"On Halloween, a buddy of mine was dressed as a Viking. He asked a girl if she wanted to hear his Viking pickup line. She said yeah. So he literally picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and said he was taking her back to the boat. They dated for almost a year."
"Take note that many of the best 'lines' are not openers, but are relevant follow-up comments once you are already in the flow and have a friendly rapport. And they are not really 'lines' per se, so much as situationally appropriate wit and timing (which are always attractive). Always better to just be present and focus on connection and context, not memorizing and saving a particular line for some future situation that may never come."
SCORE!!!Moon Walk Dance GIFGiphy
"At a college Halloween party, I was dressed up as Kazooie (although everyone assumed I was an angry bird) and I walked up to a woman dressed up as a golfer and told her that she could score a birdie tonight."
Halloween is always an issue.
There are better holidays to meet people.