People Who Knew A Murderer Break Down Whether They Noticed Any Red Flags Or Not
What separates a human being from a monster?
It's an age-old question about humanity. How is a species that is born out of love and blessed with the ability for critical thinking and making others happy capable of committing unspeakable acts of horror?
The scary thing is anyone is capable of the worst kind of crime–taking another's life.
Does it take one unfortunate moment in a fit of rage or cross paths with the wrong individual resulting in a person snapping and killing someone?
Or, are some of us born with the murder gene?
To answer these questions, Redditor akd432 dug deep into the dark side of humanity and asked:
"People who know murderers, were there any signs that something was off? If so, what were they?"
It could be anyone.
It Started With The Barking Dog
"One of my former co workers decided to shoot a house all because a dog was barking in the back yard of a different house, went on a shooting spree killing the entire family except for the infant that was on the second floor."
"Only thing that was off was his drinking problem."
The Friend's Brother
"I’ve met several after the fact, but this is about one I met weeks before the murder."
"My then-husband and I were hanging out and met up with a friend of his and the friend’s girlfriend. The friend gets a call from his brother and invites him join us. The brother arrives, and pretty soon afterwards, the whole vibe changed."
"My ex knew both men since all three were kids, so he was relaxed enough to start drinking around them. I was babysitting a wine cooler because I’m the next thing to a teetotaler and was the designated driver. I kept noticing the brother staring at me, but tried to ignore it, but it quickly became very uncomfortable. I’m nothing special to look at facially, I got the mom-bod on lock, and I was with my husband."
"The brother then asks me why I’m not drinking. I explained that I’m not a real drinker and added that I like to be aware of who and what’s around me. So he asked my husband why I wasn’t drinking. I don’t remember his response, but dude looks at me and says 'we need to get you drunk.'”
"I left to go sit in the car, because wtf was that. I didn’t feel safe or protected because my ex wasn’t even paying attention. About 20 minutes later, dude walks up to my car and asks if I can take him to the corner store. I reminded him that he had a car and he replied that he couldn’t drive because he’d been drinking. I told him I wouldn’t take him, which led to us staring at each other in silence for several moments. He broke the silence by saying 'I bet you’re real loyal. A loyal girl. A good girl. I know that motherf'ker get anything he want from you.' Then he laughed and walked away."
"When I told my ex the next day, he wasn’t bothered and was making excuses for the friend’s brother’s behavior. A few weeks later, there was a report on the news about the body of a woman being found in my exe’s old neighborhood. Find out later she’s been murdered. It didn’t take long to find and arrest her killer, aka the friend’s brother."
Some kids show signs of being unstable but are easily dismissed as nothing serious until it was too late.
Don't F'k With Squirrels
"I’ve posted about it before but a kid down the street talked about killing squirrels for fun. He was 7ish years old."
"He moved away and we forgot about him."
"20 years later we saw him in the news for brutally killing his parents."
Led By Vengeance
"I knew Christopher Bennett as a child. Honestly I thought he was a bit of a jerk, then again most little boys are mean to little girls. Especially little girls who are 3 years younger than them and seem to think they can do whatever the boys are doing. Last time I saw him, we had grown up a little, I was 11, he was about 14, he wasn't as mean as I had remembered him. Did I see it coming, no, most people didn't. I mean he was getting into trouble a lot but murder, never thought he had it in him. Then again he was right to kill the bastard he did and I think a lot of other people would become murders if they saw what he did."
"I spent a lot of time at a friend's house when I was 6-9 years old. He had a brother who was like 3 years older than us, who I remember as being generally nice, but I have one weird memory of him absolutely losing his sh*t when he tried to teach me and his brother to roller blade and I couldn't get it--like throwing things and weeping uncontrollably. When I was in high school, found out that he had joined the military, and while he was deployed he got court martialed for killing civilians and keeping body parts (fingers, ears) as trophies."
Family members share their horrific experiences of being related to a murderer.
The Jealous Sister
"Knew a girl as a freshman in college who was mean, obviously mentally unstable, and not too bright. When her fraternal twin sister fell in love with a good friend of mine, she became enraged with jealousy and could not let it go. Her sister begged her to get help and there was a huge blowout in a hallway on campus where my friend had to intervene to prevent his girlfriend from getting stabbed by her sister. The police were called to campus and she spent a week in jail before her sister decided to not press charges. Her remaining friends dropped out of her life because of her actions and unwillingness to get help. She got kicked out of college shortly after threatening the guidance counselor who was giving her one last chance and moved back in with her parents. When her sister went home for Christmas with my friend to introduce him to her parents, I told him to watch his back. They hadn’t even made it all the way into the house before they were attacked and repeatedly stabbed. My friend died on the porch and she died at the hospital the next day. The murderous sister was beaten to death in a jail fight a few days later.
"I met their older brother, who I didn’t even know existed, at the funeral for the good sister. He said he had gone no contact with the family years before for his own protection because his parents refused to do anything about the mental health problems that his little sister always had, even as a small child."
The Off Uncle
"One of my uncles murdered his wife. He was out of jail by the time I was a kid. Yes, there was always something off about him. My mother told me he was always violent and had a sadistic streak - he liked to make people afraid. He mellowed out as he got older but he was always a user and always looking to take advantage where he could. I’m pretty sure he was a sociopath. My mother had a lot of siblings and he was the only one like this."
You think you know someone.
No Murder Vibes
"For 4 years I worked 4 desks away from someone who was arrested and convicted of a 32 year old cold case murder. Dude was an a**hole but didn't give off murder vibes. The general reaction was 'huh, I hope his replacement is less of a d*ick."
She Suddenly Snapped
"I knew someone who killed her mother."
"No, absolutely no warning at all. No hints to look back on and say we should have seen it coming."
"She was a perfectly average suburban wife and mother who woke up one day and snapped. And ended up being featured on Snapped."
"She’s currently serving out a 40 year term."
– 5footfilly ·
People joke about individuals going postal when pushed to their limits, but that's all it takes for someone to abandon all sense of logic and go on a killing spree.
But there are also those who have mental issues and are cast off from society and can be triggered to act on any suppressed violent impulses as a possible reaction to being neglected and unloved.
Either way, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what drives anyone to murder.
And the scary thing is, you never really know who a coworker really is when they're off the clock, a neighbor who never leaves their house, or even a family member who has a history of being the polite one.
- Super Sleuths Explain The Creepiest Internet Rabbit Hole They've Ever Fallen Down ›
- People Who Were Wrongly Accused Of Cheating On Their Significant Other Share Their Stories ›
- People Share The Biggest Friendship Red Flags That Folks Tend To Overlook ›
- People Who've Known A Murderer Break Down Red Flags They Didn't Notice At The Time ›
When it comes to romantic relationships, especially when marriage is talked about, it's good for the two people in the relationship to share similar values, principles, and beliefs.
Maybe you discuss whether or not you want children, and if so, when. Maybe you'll talk about how to split household duties or whether or not to combine finances. And of course, you'll talk about religion.
Religion can play a large role in life for people of faith. The rules or recommendations of their faith help them to decide what's right and wrong, what to do in any given situation, and maybe even how to raise kids.
However, if one partner is religious and the other is atheist, it can be difficult to find a middle ground. It's not impossible, but it may not always be easy.
Atheists on Reddit know this first hand, and have shared what their relationship is like with a person of faith.
The stories were as diverse as religion itself.
It all starte when Redditor Actual_Sprinkles1287 asked:
"Atheists who married a person of faith, how is that going?"
Some people found it didn't matter, and their relationship was successful.
Good With Them, Bad With The In Laws
"With her? Great, it never really comes up, she does her thing (She's Christian), we agreed the kids get to make their own choices, and that we can both explain our faith, or lack thereof, when appropriate."
"Her parents, on the other hand... Just glad they live on the other side of the country. Was worse before we got married"
"Got an identical situation here but her parents are ten minutes down the road. I used to be a Christian. They don’t know I’m not, so that reduces friction."
"Had our 25th wedding anniversary last year."
"She's a member of a very liberal (even for Canada) congregation and I share most of their beliefs about things like how to treat other people, just not the supernatural stuff. She does her thing, I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings."
"Last sentence is relationship goals."
Heritage Over Religion
"Well, I am the non-atheist in the relationship, but it doesn't come up at all."
"I don't believe in an interventionist deity, so there really isn't a reason to discuss it."
"Since we are Jewish, my husband is fine with the kids going to Hebrew school because he wants them to know about our history, language, and traditions. That's why I want them to go as well."
"Mainstream Judaism is not very deity-focused and Hebrew schools mainly teach language, history, and about rituals and their meaning. Faith doesn't really come up, and everyone having their own way of doing things and believing is an integral part of Judaism. So, I am not worried about them becoming indoctrinated in that way."
"We both think that it's up to the kids to make their own decisions about theism and religion, and we should give them the materials to make an informed decision."
"Great! Sometimes I go to church with her, I like the content (be a good person, live simply, etc.) She believes all the science, she just also believes in some other stuff."
"My opinion is this: as a human you're going to have questions about life, the universe, and anything else. If a belief system answers those questions for you, great."
Perfect As You Are
"When we first met, I saw she was a "problem solver" by nature. She's religious, I'm not. I asked her early if she saw me as a problem in need of a solution. When she said, "no," I decided I'd keep seeing her."
"She still holds her beliefs, though perhaps not as strongly as before we met. We each know where the other stands, and we're both respectful of the other's views. She doesn't try to "convert me" and I don't try to change her mind."
"We're 13 years in, and doing just fine, I think."
Others found it impossible to remain married because of religious differences.
Keeping It A Secret
"My ex husband never acted religious. Not necessarily atheist, but didn't go to church, and never prayed that I was aware of."
"We hit a really rough patch and I wanted a divorce. I found a notebook (I wasn't snooping, I was cleaning and it was in a stack of random papers and whatnot) where he'd made some list of demands to save our marriage (laughable since I was the one who wanted out due to how he was treating me). I started to read it and one said "accept Jesus into her heart." I rolled my eyes just as he walked into the living room and freaked out that I had it and yanked it out of my hand. We never talked about it amd we did eventually divorce."
"Hmm. It seems like for him to not have expressed religious beliefs or convictions but desires for you to “accept Jesus into your heart”—according to this list of his—seems to suggest that there were some things about him that he kept secret from you throughout your marriage. Your hands are wiped clean of him now though!"
"Divorced. Don’t know what I was thinking."
Big White Lie
"Divorced for that reason"
"If you don't mind me asking, why did it only become an issue after marriage?"
"Because she lied about be religious, before marriage she said she was only acting to please her mom because she lived at home. And we would bring up any children without religion and they could chose when they were older. She lied."
Some people found that their partner's faith changed, or they even switched around who was a person of faith and who wasn't.
Hard To Keep The Faith
"She’s not Christian anymore. I never belittled or attacked her faith throughout the years. Between cancer taking her sister and simply aging, her belief slowly eroded away."
"This. I prayed for a few years for my husband to come to faith. After crippling mental health issues and having special needs kid, Now he believes in a god and I lost every ounce of faith I had."
Some people are still together but still find religion a topic of contention.
"Not swimmingly well. But we're hangin' in there."
Exhaustion Comes With The Topic
"I'm a person of faith who married an " I dnt believe in God but I believe in something"
"We love eachother but when this topic comes up it's so f*ckin draining"
"do you mind sharing why it's draining?"
"...well we talk a lot, as you can imagine that means the Convo often drifts to God. When we talk about God usually we end up also bring up past traumas and we both have a lot. I believe God gave me the strength to get through it, she believes she was abandoned."
"She also brings history into it too (where was he during slavery, holocaust)."
"and we never ever come to a conclusion we just move on lol start watching a movie or playing with the kids, maybe drinking and whatever comes with that."
"But sometimes the covos last a little longer than usual, we have never argued about this tho, but somestimes the convos can drain me mentally."
"Short version: it's like two walls talking when God is the subject."
A Bit Of A Strain
"This will probably get buried but anyway."
"My wife is Christian, Anglican in Church of England. They’re fairly liberal in their views and acceptance of what people believe, even within the church. So she doesn’t mind that I don’t believe in a single God, and the church isn’t as ‘firm’ in the UK as it seems to be in the US. So I’m not ridiculed or seen as a bad person by her or the church for my lack of faith."
"She studied to become a priest over the past few years and was ordained. I told her I would support her studying but I didn’t want to discuss God or religion with her in the way she debates with some of her other religious friends. I largely struggle with the idea that she believes something that is at odds with so much of what we know about the universe. The further down the religious path she goes, the more bitter I’ve become towards ‘religion’. (I can only see religions and The Church as a business these days, especially knowing the processes she went through to become a minister.) The values of the Anglican church are mostly good, but you can live that way without god in your life. I don’t see why religion needs to play a part of being a good person."
"In terms of how it’s been for our marriage, it hasn’t really been a factor for most of 25 years together. It’s frustrating that she usually wants to go to church on Sundays, which leaves me to do everything else that falls on Sunday morning (notably kids’ sports commitments). I’d also certainly say we have far less in common and have less to talk about these days than we used to. She bends every possibly interesting conversation back to religion or God, and I just want to enjoy chatting without it becoming a debate. But that’s the main topic of conversation she knows and pretty much all she reads. She reads a lot about religion and theology and ‘church’ has become such a huge part of her personality, and her biggest ‘hobby’ that she is much less interesting and has fewer passions or interests in life that she can share. It doesn’t leave much for us to discuss when I have no interest in religion and have become so bitter towards it."
"So no discussion of separation or divorce - we’re not miserable - but religion has more recently played a massive part in us having far less in common."
But ultimately, it seems people can make it work.
Love And Honor
"I'm still married after 30 years. She has her religious beliefs, and I support her as best I can. She doesn't push anything on me. When she wants to do her thing, I give her space. If I have to be involved, I just stay quiet and be respectful. It's not that hard to do. No need to hate someone because of differing beliefs."
What a great attitude to have!
People Confess Which Things In Life Have Disappointed Them Beyond Words
Though there are many things in life that are worth being thankful for, there are also aspects of life that are really hard to work through.
But when we had our hopes up about a person, event, or way of life, it can be really hard to accept that they were not all they were made out to be.
Redditor tomhigham asked:
"What in your life has disappointed you beyond words?"
"Probably unpopular, but personally true for me: friendship."
"Growing up, my group of friends was pretty toxic. After high school, we naturally went our separate ways, but there was a bit of an emotional scar."
"In college, I found a new group of friends… who actually ended up being even worse and almost ruined my life. It has left me with such severe trust issues that I struggle to form meaningful friendships now."
"I had a friend from high school that I thought would be with me for life. I had never had a closer friend ever in my life, and part way through college, it blew up in my face. She turned on me, and all communication broke down."
"Losing someone I considered close enough to be family was gut-wrenching. I have trust issues now because how can someone you loved like a family member be so cruel in the end? I lost ties to all but one friend over the years."
"People would come into my life and we’d connect deeply and it always ended. Not as bad as my best friend had but still nothing ever sticks. People would end up with differing views on life or just get busy. Now I rely on family and my husband for friendship. These are the people who stick with me through the years."
"I've been posting about this lately: my former best friend and neighbor. He's a single dad of two special needs kids. I did a lot to help him out much of last year."
"Late last fall, he either broke into my house (or had someone else do it for him) and stole quite a bit of money from me. When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"After everything I did for him, it hurts so bad someone could simply turn on you. The beatdown he gave me didn't make me cry, I took it, but later on, when I realized our friendship was a sham and he was only using me, I completely broke down."
Start Saving Up When You're Five
"House prices. I really should have been buying up real estate in grade school, lol (laughing out loud)."
"2000s Adults: Oh no, the economy!"
"2007: Oh no, the economy again!"
"Not one f**king adult acknowledged the growth that took place. Meanwhile today…"
"2016 - 2023: The housing market will crash any day now…"
Older Isn't Always Better
"I realized in my 20s that 'older' people were just as immature and dishonorable as kids, only permanently so."
"Very scary moment. You grow up looking up to those people, and when the pedestal you put them on falls, you are looking down on them, still powerless to change the world."
"As a kid, I gave the adults in my life a lot of passes for their behavior. I figured I was a kid, and they acted that way for reasons I was just too young to understand."
"Now that I’m in a similar age range as they were when they hurt me, I realize they’re just s**t people who choose to be this way."
The Lack of Agency Was Stifling
"People kept telling me it was the best time of my life and that adulthood was a misery of obligations and responsibilities."
"Well, my experience of being an adult and able to have much more control over my own life, who I associate with, and what I do with my time is a welcome exchange for my responsibility-free life where I had comparatively little agency."
"Oh boy, do I agree with this one zillion percent. I HATED being a kid. You are at the absolute mercy of the people around you."
"I can’t count the number of jobs I’ve quit or the people I’ve kept out of or cut out of my life. I have a boring, mediocre life. It’s still better than being a kid."
"I dreamed of my wedding day and having kids and living happily ever after. I didn't dream about him cheating and leaving me three weeks after our son was born... A**hole."
"I almost always never get the love I give."
"Sometimes it's fine, but when it becomes routine, life just gets depressing."
"Still doesn't stop me from being kind. You never know what the other person is going through."
The Lull After College
"How f**king awful life after college is. In college, you're always learning new things and meeting new people. You have a lot of fun and friends and, sure, you work a s**t job that pays squat and you have to study all the time, but you have this sense of accomplishment all the time and you have goals in front of you."
"Once you graduate, everyone moves to different cities. You get different jobs. It’s way harder to make friends and time seems to go by at light speed."
"Additionally, any third space you want to hang out in costs a ton of money, and no one wants to actually talk and become friends. If I’d known life got this lonely and boring, I’d have tried to savor every moment of college."
"Chr**t, I’m going through the same thing. It feels like the months pass by in seconds. My friends all have relationships and are moving away."
"Trying desperately to be friends with people at work and other places yet nobody wants to be?? I won’t even mention trying to get into a romantic relationship."
"Hopefully joining clubs and taking up hobbies with people my age would enjoy will bring me closer to making friends. Oh, and vacations. Lots and lots of vacations."
"My siblings. Never expected them to turn on me and then try to prevent me from getting my share of the inheritance."
"My aunt did that to my dad. He can't bring himself to talk to her anymore. It was less about the money and more about the fact that she pulled that stunt."
"The American government, hands down."
"Not so much the American government but society as a whole."
"The American government has actually worked out pretty well for me (my family came to the USA as refugees, my parents worked minimum wage jobs, I got a college degree and I'm making well above the median household income), but as I've grown older I've just grown disgusted with how stupid and easily manipulated people are."
"The pandemic was a fine example, like, I may not morally agree with someone doing evil s**t for personal gain but at least that makes sense. Doing stupid s**t to make their lives worse is a level of stupidity that the logical side of me can't handle."
Using Resources for Good
"Call me a (former) optimist, but there was a time when for some reason, I thought the Bezos and Zuckerbergs of the world were going to use their brains and wealth to do good things for the world. Instead, they are contributing to its demise."
"I’m right there with you. This generation of billionaires has thrown away the opportunity to help the world, or possibly, even save part of the world with the wealth we have not seen individuals ever accumulate in history, which could be focused on everything from the climate to poverty to medicine and beyond be remembered as heroes."
"Ironically, it’s only Bill Gates that turned his money to helping to save an entire continent. It just wasn’t ours, so many people don’t know about it."
"Gestures broadly. Honestly, I think life is more about making peace with your failures than it is about racking up accomplishments."
"Most of us are never going to do the amazing things we hoped for as children. It's like the Rolling Stones said: 'You don't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.'"
A Rude Awakening
"When I was a teenager in the 80s, struggling down to the library to do the research for my homework, I dreamed of a day where everyone would be able to access libraries from a terminal in their homes. They would have unlimited, free access to all the information and knowledge they need."
"How much better would the world be if everyone could be informed of facts at the touch of a button? Ignorance and stupidity would be left behind on a superhighway of information."
"I've done everything I could to try and make right with people, to help them, to give them support when they need it, to make sure they never feel the hurt and loneliness I feel every day in my life."
"And then people take advantage of it and only see me as useful in transactional situations. It's never reciprocated in any way."
"I just want one unconditional-love relationship from one other person, or at least something that resembles something of a friendship."
"The last time someone reached out to me via text/phone call, was back in October 2022, and the last time someone reached out to me, without needing anything as the primary motivation of them reaching out, was July of 2022. I've reached out plenty of times to check on people I knew, and offered to hang/chat."
The Unfairness of Infertility
"How easy it is for some people to have kids that they don’t give a s**t about and how impossible it’s been for me."
"I really hope to be a foster parent someday but I wanted to practice on my own kid first before I go screw up someone else’s. I say that very cavalierly, but I genuinely wanted some practice before jumping in with a kid that, no matter what, is dealing with trauma from the separation of bio family."
"It’s precisely because I don’t take that lightly that I hesitate to become a foster parent. I knew before my infertility that I wanted to foster but my trauma also holds me back. It’s unfair shoes for a foster kid to fill when their foster parents are looking for a kid they couldn’t have one their own."
"Crossfire wasn’t half as intense as I thought it was going to be…"
"The Crossfire commercial promised quite a lot. You didn't get to fly into the ring upon the game pieces. And there was no actual fire or lightning, nor the chanting horde of post-apocalyptic children. And worst of all, when I beat my opponents, they didn't spin off into fiery oblivion."
Though there's a lot of good in the world, there are troubling things, too. What makes it worse is that the things that are often the most disappointing are sold to us as children to be the things to really look forward to. It doesn't add up.
All it takes to ruin what could've been the perfect TV show or movie is one character.
There could be several reasons for this.
One, it could be because audience members are unable to separate the indiscretions of an actor off-camera who was maybe embroiled in a drawn-out court case.
Or, it might be due to a horribly written character that either makes zero contributions to the over-arching plot or has distracting idiosyncrasies.
It turns out there are plenty of characters audiences could've done without.
Redditor Goingdown_in321 asked:
"Who is the most annoying character in a TV show or movie?"
Some less-than-desired characters are heavily despised through no fault of the actor.
The Problem With Perfection
"Joffrey in Game of Thrones. Incredibly well acted and written, I've never felt more active desire to beat the sh*t out of any other fictional character."
"Any precocious child character that is wiser than the adults and has to teach them the error of their ways with sass."
He's Just Doing This Job
"Boom mic guy from The Office."
We love to hate them.
"Buzz from Home Alone. He was a jerk to Kevin in both movies and got away with it."
"He purposely ate Kevin's pizza, Kevin reacts and gets sent to bed."
"He teases/humiliates Kevin during the Christmas concert, Kevin reacts and his family makes him look like the bad guy."
"Mrs. Carmody from the movie 'the Mist'. Just evil."
"Marcia Gay Harden was amazing in that role!"
British Ministry Of Magic's Most Hated
"She wasn’t horrible enough in the movies compared to the book. One of the most vile characters in any series hands down."
They meant well, but were not among audiences' favorite.
"Did I Do That?"
"This is very old school, but back in the day, Steve Urkel from Family Matters. It was a polarising character. You either loved him or absolutely hated him."
"We recently rewatched the series and his inability to accept Laura's constant "no" to his advances is not funny."
Tritagonist Late Wife
"Lori Grimes from the walking dead. I just cannot stand her. She is the reason I cannot be bothered to finish the show and it's a shame because I really like it and all the characters but damn I cannot stand that woman."
"Bro, if she’s the reason you can’t be bothered to finish the show, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news."
Hopeless City Romantic
"Also Carrie Bradshaw. Main character and definitely the 'main character' in her mind at all times. Irksome."
"Ya Carrie bugged the Hell out of me too. But I was obsessed with the show anyway. It's not the same without Samantha. She was my fav."
At Least She Was Pretty
"Rory gilmore. Cannot stand her at all."
"For such a smart person she sure made a lot of stupid decisions."
I think Jar Jar Binks was definitely the most annoying character that failed to connect with audiences.
The wacky Gungan outcast is one of several reasons why the prequel Star Wars trilogy is not my favorite.
The addition of his character as an attempt to inject some levity was so forced, and many viewers couldn't help but notice he was a racist caricature," pointing out similarities between his look and accent and the style and dialects spoken in the West Indies."
People Explain Which Things They Thought Were Normal Because Of Their Family That Aren't Normal At All
Everyone was beholden to certain rules growing up.
No TV until your homework is done, no sweets before dinner, lights out at 9:30 pm.
Frustrated as we were by these rules, we generally went along with them, as well as other customs and traditions organized by our families, knowing that just about all other kids were dealing with the same thing.
But were they?
Indeed, sometimes in adulthood, we've come to learn that the way things worked in our household were not what the broader population would consider normal.
While sometimes these discoveries only made us love our families more, other times it might have come as a very rude awakening indeed.
"What kind of behaviour did you think was normal because of your family, then grew up to find out it’s definitely not?"
Making Halloween Even More Fun
"I've got a positive one."
"My mum always threw the best Halloween parties."
"We had to eat donuts off strings without licking your lips, throw eggs at each other and attempt to catch them in a net, feed each other blindfolded."
"Apparently these aren't normal activities for Halloween parties."
"Especially the one year we played them on the street with random trick or treaters who came past."- butterfly_cats
You Mean, They're Supposed To Like Each Other?
"A complete and utter lack of any and all affection and romance between my parents."
"Turns out, my mom was cheating on my dad for over a decade."- HokageBiden
"Your parents hating each other."
"I only realized this was not normal after witnessing my first boyfriends parents interacting with each other kindly and respectfully."- No_Scale7584
"I thought all married couples eventually grew to hate each other and fight all the time."
"Apparently I was wrong."- mossadspydolphin
All Working Parents Make Sacrifices
"When I was a kid I thought that ALL dads worked a lot and rarely saw the kids."
"Until I got older and my friends would tell me things like 'my dad took me to a baseball game' or 'my dad took me camping'."
"I was so jealous."- Overall-Surround-925
Why Dirty Multiple Napkins?
"This is gross."
"We had a large family."
"Instead of handing out napkins, we used a single dishcloth, and passed it around the dinner table."
"We weren't poor."
"Just uncivilized."- Comprehensive_Run453
Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way
"Making a big deal about death."
"In my family when someone dies, it’s like, 'Wow, that sucks, what’s for dinner?'”- OutrageousStrength91
It's Hard To Escape One's Upbringing
"I’m still struggling to describe the way my mom lives the way she does, but the only word I can think of is 'tacky'?"
"Unless anyone can think of a better word."
"For context she grew up in a poor village, but I don’t think it’s commonplace there and maybe it’s because of how her parents raised her."
"She is clueless to how things 'should' be."
"Like it’s not normal to use shower curtains as normal curtains in the living room."
"Or to make a homemade pillow by stuffing it full of old jackets, instead of going out to buy a normal pillow."
"Or pruning a tree using a butcher knife instead of ACTUAL tree equipment."
"She exclaimed, 'Doesn’t that look nice!', but to me it just looked like the tree had been demolished by a butcher knife."
"Or when she held my baby brother over the trash can so he could poop in it, except she did this in the living room while my friend was there."
"My friend didn’t want to come over after that."
"Or how we have 1 pair of scissors in the house that we use for EVERYTHING, from cutting food to cutting hair, and she used it to cut a mole from her back instead of going to the doctor."
"We all still used the scissors afterwards too."
"Or how she repurposes stuff in the house to re-gift to other people."
"Like, it would be okay if she actually put in the effort to make it look nice, but most recently she re-gifted a plate of cookies that a neighbor gave to us, except we ate half already."
"And twice she gave my brothers supermarket gift cards for their friend’s 12th birthday party."
"Everyone in my family, mom included, uses the bathroom with the door wide open, whether it’s pee or poop, though my mom is different in that she doesn’t care if someone walks in to brush their teeth while she’s doing it, and will have conversations with you from the toilet too."
"I didn’t know until I was in college that other families don’t share the same bath towel."
"And nobody cleans the house except with a broom occasionally."
"So you can imagine how it looks."
"My mom hasn’t cleaned her car in 15 years."
"She used to be dirt poor in the village, so I guess old habits die hard."
"I was desensitized to everything since I grew up in it, but even when I was younger I could tell that this was a bit gross."- JaguarOwn3633
Some People Just Can't Control Their Emotions
"Having tantrums because someone showed that you were wrong."
"Feels weird now seeing my 50+ uncle throwing sh8t all over the place because I straight up told him I'm not lazy I have to rest a lot because of a serious heart condition that I'm diagnosed with."- Weak-Sand9779
We're Not Talking The Birds And The Bees...
"Parents interrogating you about your sex life."
"Everyone made jokes in movies and school about overprotective dads."
"I didn't realize being woken up at 5AM to be screamed at wasn't normal."
"Or being told I'm a shame on the family for a tiny hickey wasn't normal."
"Or assuming every piece of my actions was related to sex."
"I grew up in an Evangelical cult."- KaRue3
When Teasing Is Anything But Affectionate
"I thought the people closest to you were the ones who were meanest to you because they saw the real you (and the real you was bad)."
"I also thought anger was only expressed as horrible blowout arguments, insults, name calling, and physical aggression."
"Such sad things to learn and very difficult to unlearn."- Designer-Sky
Always Thinking About Their Future.
"Living so strictly under the rule of 'everything you do needs to be working towards your career'."
"No friends, no boyfriends or girlfriends, no days to do nothing and no self expression of any kind."- Cheep_thehomelessman
It should be said, no two people have the same idea of what they consider "normal."
But if your own home is not a place where you always felt loved and protected, then you were deprived of something all children deserved.