Murder often seems to inhabit only Hollywood movies and the local news. Surely it could never impact your life, right?
Unfortunately, for all those murders we hear about in the new, there is a whole network of people affected.
There are family members forced to endure the tragic loss of a loved one. Good friends lose someone they could always trust. The murderer's life is changed radically if he's caught and imprisoned.
And beyond those close ties, there are the witnesses. These few people, though not necessarily directly connected to the people involved, still may endure the trauma of seeing the act.
TempestYGO asked, "Redditors who witnessed a murder, what is your story?"
A Lot to Carry
"When I was 10 my uncle murdered my mom's boyfriend at our house. It wasn't in the house but he chased him through our house and killed him outside in front of the house."
"It really destroyed a part of our family as well as relationship between my mom and grandmother. It was 30 years ago and I am only one alive besides my uncle that was there that night."
"I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words and the questions. Kinda therapeutic to talk about."
Seeing the Very End
"I didn't actually witness the murder-suicide but I saw the direct aftermath seconds later. I was 6 years old at my babysitter's house after school."
"The husband came home drunk and demanded he speak with her in the back yard. A little bit afterwards their dog is freaking out demanding it come inside. I went out back and the dog lead me to them."
"The husband shot my babysitter and then himself. She was gone but he still had labored breathing before dying in front of me. It's still one of my most vivid memories 21 years later."
Rough Carpool Day
"This was when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, so late 80's. My friend's mom had picked us up from school in her station wagon and I was in the way-back."
"There were probably 6 or 7 of us kids in the car and we were stopped at a traffic light across from a homeless shelter, about to get onto the interstate."
"This guy is walking down the street with an armful of chewing tobacco and drops a pack. A homeless guy leaning up against the wall picked it up."
"There was an angry exchange in which the guy refused to give back the tobacco so the other guy kicked him and stomped him to death on the sidewalk."
An Image That Stuck With Them
"A drunk man was pushed down some stairs by the bouncer. Unfortunately, the drunk man was unable to catch himself and instead spun around and landed on the pavement with the back of his head making first contact."
"He was alive for a little while but quickly succumbed to his wound and arrested on there on the pavement. He was declared dead 15 minutes later in ED after being transported by ambulance."
"There was no CCTV or clear evidence of malicious intent that would hold up in court, and the man was known as a drunk and a had no friends or family. It was ruled and accidental death."
"I had to walk past that spot most days going to work and will never forget his face, the look of mystified horror followed by the glassy-eyed slack-jawed expression that come with death."
"I was the medic that transported the man. I was by his side from start till the declaration. One of the most visceral experiences of my career thus far."
"Was walking home one day and saw a couple arguing.. The dude started walking off away from the girlfriends car, and apparently she was not happy with that."
"She proceeded to get in the car and wait about 5 minutes till he was way off down the sidewalk. I was walking on the opposite side of the road as him and all of a sudden I see a blur and he goes flying like a rocket."
"She must have been going at least 60 mph. He flew through the air and hit a tree. died instantly. The women then screamed out the window at his body and drives away"
"There was blood smeared all over the crumpled hood and I'll never forget the sight of his contorted body at the base of the tree. Almost folded in half."
"I had to talk to the police and within the hour they caught her at a car wash, trying to clean the blood and chunks off the hood and grill of her car."
"I was 16 at the time."
"Saw my neighbor murdered in cold blood in my own driveway. My neighbor was helping his lady friend escape a very abusive relationship."
"Ladies ex hunted her down like a dog. Saw my neighbor walking back home with her after they went to get food for his kids. Heard 3 loud pops. I ran outside to find her screaming and him blown out of his shoes and into my driveway."
"He had a hole in his chest big enough to put my fist in. There was nothing I could do to save him except sit with him and hold his hand while I prayed for him to pass quickly. I'll never forget that night."
"48 hours later I broke the lease on my house and moved in with my boyfriend who lives in a much safer borough. You were an awesome neighbor and a wonderful father, Kaine. You're certainly missed."
"I was around 8-9 years old and we were in a vacation in a vacation village. While we were doing checkout with my family (my father was a the desk while we were waiting at the lobby couches), an argument broke out between 2 guys who were at the lobby bar."
"I actually don't know what it was about, because it was in another language. One of the guys grabbed a bottle smashed it and attacked the other one, hit him in the neck. That guy fell on the floor, and there were blood all over the place."
"My mother closed my eyes after that, and took us out while other people get involved. Years later I've learned that guy lost his life."
A Sure Thing
"In the parking lot of a strip mall in Washington state a guy walked into a jewelry store and did an armed robbery. Plainclothes security guard waited until the robber exited and shot the robber in the back."
"I was in a car and I didn't hear the shot but I did see him fall and some shoppers gathering around his body. We drove by slowly to see if help was needed."
"When I saw how fast the pool of blood was spreading I pretty much knew he would not survive."
"When I was 6 my family went to see Sesame Street on ice downtown. When we were leaving a little girl my age was struck by a van and drug across the parking lot. I remember the mother jumping on the windshield screaming at the driver while the van was still moving."
"My mom was a nurse and was helping until the ambulance arrived but she was already dead. I can still remember the screams and lifeless body of that little girl. This was over 30 years ago."
Another Young Girl
"Worked at a skating rink in the late 80's/early 90's. I was in my late teens. It was Sunday Soul Night session. Very crowded. About 600 that night."
"As we were trying to clear the parking lot after closing, gunfire erupted between 2 gangs. Everybody hit the deck while the shootout happened."
"A 12 yo girl panicked while coming from inside and started running. She ran into the crossfire and took one to the head about 6 feet away from me. Killed instantly."
"Here is the article about the rink itself being a magnet for problems. I've seen people die in combat since but being a little girl is what haunts me about that one."
5 years ago. There was an attempted home invasion at my house when I was 18. I was Downstairs watching top gear when I hear somebody trying to break in the door. My father (military type, very protective) confronted the guy and the guy turned around and shot my dad in the chest with a sawed-off shotgun. My dad was able to fire off a couple shots afterward killing him. But my father already was on the ground dead. This is a very short version. First time writing this out. Still surreal to think about.
Turned out the guy was a felon with 6 butcher knives down his pants. Presumingly trying to find some reason to hurt someone.
I was in terminal two in Barcelona Airport the morning of March 24, 2015. There were only three flights leaving the terminal, and we were all delayed due to fog. 150 people boarded Germanwings flight 9525, 30 minutes before we boarded our flight. Although I didn't see it happen, we were the last people to see them alive. The first officer crashed the plane into the French Alps, killing himself and murdering the other 149 people on board. It will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Happened while hanging out at my bestie's house. For context I'd like to explain that: 1)her house faced the side of a popular bar in our town, 2)that particular night her husband was pretty buzzed and had the fire pit out front blazing, and 3)they had taken in my guinea pigs in addition to theirs when I moved to a place that wouldn't allow them.
So my bf at the time and I at one point go to the basement to give out treats to the piggies. Through the open side door we could hear some commotion going on outside. Didn't think much of it at first, until I realize that my inebriated could possibly be involved. Bf and I run out the side door to find the husband nowhere in sight, and the commotion is coming from two guys across the street from the bar and one guy in the parking lot arguing. We go back into the basement where we found the husband (he had went inside to grab a beer and then came down the basement steps to gather more cardboard to burn while the fire pit was going) and the three of us begin to chat.
Fast forward a few minutes and we all hear 'pop pop pop pop pop'. For a split second we all just look at each other wide-eyed knowing those pops were unquestionably gunshots. The three of us run out the side door again just in time to see one of the guys from across the street is now in the bar parking lot, and the other guy involved in the argument shoots him five more times. The victim goes down and the shooter stood over him and shot him three more times before taking off running up my bestie's street.
Probably the worst part was that the victim's mom was inside the bar. Her cries were so heartbreaking to hear. Later learned that the victim lived across the street from the bar and his two young children ended up seeing their dad bleed out through the window. The killer was found within the hour and stated the argument was over $20 and a woman they were both trying to date. He was charged with first-degree murder and 13 counts of wanton endangerment.
I was standing at a crosswalk. The guy next to me started walking. It was pre-dawn, and without looking so did I.
The guy behind me grabbed my collar and yanked me back to the sidewalk.
I spun around pissed off. The guy in front of me got hit by a car speeding through the intersection.
I freaked out and called 911, but the guy died before the ambulance got there. The guy that pulled me back was gone.
White guy, sunglasses. Tan coat. Guy that got hit was fit as hell, wearing a grey wind-breaker.
The same thing happened to my grandma: she was running errands in town and was standing on a corner waiting to cross. Traffic cleared a bit and she wasn't really paying attention, so she started to walk across the street. She felt a strong hand grab her shoulder and pull her back to the curb - just as a bus came careening by. She turned around to thank whoever it was, but there was no one there. She claimed it was an angel till the day she died.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
This is a big one:
"Where are you from? No I mean where are you from."
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
The chronic one-upper.
"But she's your mother!"
Yeah, well she should've acted like one.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.