18 Sex Shop Employees Share The Craziest Experience They Had With A Customer.
Sex shops are fascinating not only for what they hold, but for who they attract. Visitors come from all walks of life - but of course, some are more memorable than others. Here, 18 sex shop employees share the craziest experience they've ever had with a customer.
1/18. One time an old lady came in looking for a big dildo. She asked me how much the red dildo on the wall was... I had to tell her that was the fire extinguisher.
2/18. We were open till midnight on the weekends and about fifteen minutes before closing this normal looking woman in a tracksuit comes in with a man on the end of a leash wearing nothing but a diaper. What shocked me more than anything was the dude had sandals with socks on. I told the couple they had to leave because pant were required in order to shop.
3/18. I went to a very tech-oriented university, and while there I worked at an upscale adult boutique. I was on register and was checking out a middle-aged guy and his wife. They had quite a few purchases so I was making small talk in the meantime, the guy said he had just returned from E3 (video game conference), and I asked some questions related to new games coming out at the time.
He eventually mentioned that he taught game programming at a nearby school, which narrowed it down to 3. I asked him if it was school A or B, the most likely guesses, and he told me it was school A (my school). I simply responded with "cool", but he asked where I attended school, so I told him. Awkward silence after that, the only thing I could think to ask was if they needed batteries for their vibrating nipple clamps (they usually take those annoying watch/disc batteries).
Had him for class about 6 weeks later, I got a pointed stare the first time he took roll, and I believe we came to a silent understanding in those few seconds.
4/18. Dude comes in drunk. We chat for a while and get talking about where he works. Then he grabs product and bolts. Except I knew where he worked. Probably a weird one for him when the popo showed up at his job for stealing dildos.
5/18. When I was nineteen I worked for about three weeks at a rental store that didn't just have a "back room" but a full on sex shop in back that was bigger than the front of the store. If you wanted to rent Dumbo for your kid and buy an assortment of cock rings for yourself we were your one stop shop. One time I had a guy come in to buy an electric vagina, about a $80 item. When I told him to have a nice evening he responded, very enthusiastically, "oh you bet I will."
Three hours later he came back. He wanted to return the electric vagina because the box was missing the lube that was supposed to come with it. Since I'd only been there for about a week and a half I didn't know how to do a return, so I had to use the inter-store phone to call the manager who was working the cash wrap in the front. She asked what was being returned and when I told her it was an electric vagina she said "okay the first thing you need to do is inspect it to make sure it hasn't been used."
"Umm, what?" socially awkward nineteen-year old me said.
"Yes, you have to inspect it to make sure it hasn't been used."
So I had to open up the rubber vagina and inspect it for wear and tear in front of the guy, who was giving me an "are you fucking kidding me?" look. Mercifully, it had not been used and I gave him his refund.
The worst part about it is that I was still a virgin at the time so that was my first close encounter with a vagina. I told this story to a couple of friends of mine too and became known to them as the "electric gynecologist" for a while.
Continue reading on the next page!
6/18. I was 19 and worked at this shack looking sex shop. Sketch central of town and if I didn't get free shit and paid to be there I wouldn't be. One evening I'm working with my buddy and I can here him talking to a familiar voice. It was a voice I tried recalling but all I could recall was that it was someone of influence to me. Well I automatically hide thinking it might be my dad and well... it wasn't. It was my youth pastor from church. We locked eyes, my stomach drops, he goes pale and noped the f*ck out.
7/18. A customer came in and she said she never had an orgasm and she was told that some women just never have an orgasm. She didn't buy anything besides condoms and then left. Two days later she comes back in with her boyfriend. The boyfriend is in a big huff yelling, "TELL HER THAT SOME WOMEN JUST DON'T HAVE ORGASMS!" As he was throwing stuff around the room and talking about how his manhood was being insulted and how he was gonna show everyone in the shop how big he is. After he finally left, he peed all over my girlfriend's car.
8/18. A woman came in who was very rough looking. I was watching her closely because I thought she might try to steal something. A guy came in and started talking to her. As they were talking, another person came in and asked me a few questions then bought something and left. I looked back over and saw that the guy and the rough looking woman were now having sex in the back corner of the store. I yelled at them and the guy took off and ran out of the store. The woman walked up to the counter, bare naked, and told me that she had met that guy on some phone chat line. She then asked if we had any "loaner" dildos. I told her no and that she needed to get dressed. She just walked out of the store completely naked.
9/18. An old gent came in and wanted to experiment with sex toys as he and his wife's sex life was somewhat dead. I spent a while going through options with him and he seemed happy with his purchases so that was that. A week later an oldish woman came into the shop on my day off to see me to say thank you because their sex life was now incredible. She actually burst into tears while talking to my colleagues because it had made such a difference.
10/18. I grew up in a teensy midwestern town, population of like 900 people. For many years, my mother managed a gas station in a town 20 miles east of my hometown.
For about five years, on Saturdays, the Methodist minister from our town would come to the store and buy two or three porn magazines. We were Lutheran, and my mom was shy and not social, so she had never met the Methodist minister. His visits occurred on a frequent basis until the day my mother had occasion to attend a funeral that happened to have been presided over by the Methodist minister. Their eyes met, and at about the same time she realized who she was looking at, his eyes widened in horror. He stopped coming to the store.
Ten or so years later, my mother transfers to a different location in the chain of stores she worked for, this one in the town 30 miles to the west of the town where we live. It was about the third Saturday after the transfer. The door chimes as it opens, and my mother looks up to greet whomever entered, and there stands the Methodist minister, who immediately recognizes her, freezes, turns on his heel and walks back out. Never saw him again.
Continue reading on the next page!
11/18. When I was younger, my mom worked for an Avon-like company that sold sex toys and lube. One day, my mom had to take my sister and I to one of the "parties" she was hosting at a woman's house. We got bored pretty quickly and started walking around the house while my mom explained various devices and products. I was creepily standing in the doorway to the room where the party was occurring, waiting for my mom to turn around so I could ask her if I could have some of the Rotel dip. I was probably 6-7 years old. One of the women sees me and goes bug eyed. My mom asks her what's wrong and she points at me. My mom turns around holding a 3 foot long double headed dildo and screams at me to leave. I did.
12/18. While not a sex toy shop, I did work for about 6 months at an automotive battery place that was right across the street from one. The number of people who would come in and say something to the effect of "Oh, CAR batteries!" then leave was hilarious at first, then just annoying.
13/18. Had video rental rooms with a $20 deposit. Use the Kleenex, don't urinate in the trash can, you'll get your deposit back.
Why we had the urination rule was bizarre to me.
Then I had to tell a guy he wasn't getting his deposit back.
14/18. I worked a porn movie and sex toy shack for about a year. There were promos for staff to try and sell higher end toys. If you sold a bunch you got a bonus.
We all had different sales tactics... there was one super fancy vibrator I was hyping up. I had one (in the package) at the counter with a note saying "husband replacement unit".
An old dad came in to get a stack of rentals. (thus dating how long ago this was). Pops looked at the sign, took the toy, and placed it on the floor. Arms on his sides looking down at it.
"Well, it doesn't cut the f*cking grass so I still have a job."
Rentals on the house for a month.
Continue reading on the next page!
15/18. One afternoon I was ringing up a line of customers in the main store.
There were about 4 people in line. The woman I was ringing up and 3 men behind her waiting. She was buying a vibrator. For obvious reasons the shop has a no return policy. Due to this rule we usually will place batteries in the toy and make sure it works before the customer leaves the store, so they know they are getting a working product.
I tell this particular customer that I am going to grab some batteries so we can test the toy for her, and I reach down below the counter to get the box of batteries.
When I stand back up I see her in the middle of dropping her pants and underwear right there on the spot. The 3 guys in line behind her are all staring in amazement. I'm like, "What the hell are you doing lady?"
I can see her looking confused for a moment before asking, "Didn't you say I should test it first?" It then suddenly hits her and she turns bright red before jerking up her pants and running out of the store.
The 3 men are now laughing. The next guy in line asks me, "Did that actually just happen?"
16/18. My buddy managed a sex shop and a guy brought back an inflatable love doll, wanted to return for exchange because he wore it out.
17/18. My ex-boyfriend worked the night shift at a chain sex store.
His best story was about a guy who had bought a vibrator the day prior, and came in the next day to complain that it was broken, and that they needed a replacement.
Since store policy is basically once it leaves the store, it's the customers problem, he told the guy that he couldn't do anything for him.
First the guy tried to say that it was sold to him broken, which my ex knew was bullshit because before a device leaves the store, it's tested at the counter to make sure it works (by tested I mean they put batteries in it and turn it on for a few to make sure it buzzes). So the guy admitted that he gave it a try and it worked for a few minutes until it shorted out.
Being a decent person, and also an idiot, he decided to try and figure out why the vibrator broke. So he checks the battery compartment first. Well, where you're supposed to put in two double-A batteries side by side, the guy had crammed a rectangle battery. Anyway. Since the battery was basically the same shape and size as the two double A's would be, it worked long enough for the guy to start having fun, but not finish, and so he insisted that my ex owed him an orgasm, cause it certainly wasn't the customers fault for cramming the wrong battery into the toy.
18/18. Not employee but customer.
I just turned 18 and went off to college in the big city. I go to the nearest local porn store because they have a huge XXX Arcade sign on the side.
I go in all excited to the back room to try out this XXX arcade.
It was not X-rated mortal combat or Zelda. I was so disappointed. My roommates made fun of me for weeks.
Sometimes there is no specific reason a person gives others the heebie-jeebies.
Certain people are just born with that vibe.
And other people are just flat-out crazy.
There are small mannerisms and big ticks that just send a clear message to stay a few yards back.
More often than not, we can't exactly put our finger on it... but something inside us just knows.
Better to know and be warned I guess.
Redditor TheRealOcsiban wanted to hear about the people who left many of us with a deep sense of unease, so they asked:
"What made the creepiest person you ever met so creepy?"
People who stare for a little too long without speaking always freak me out.
It's rude to share.
What are your evil eyes really saying?
"He followed me for 3 miles after I left physical therapy and only f**ked off when I went into a store that I knew had cameras all over the place."
"Was kayaking a river when some dumba** decided to dive off a cliff head first into a rock below the surface of the water and had a huge gash in his head. A guy came running out of the woods full Rambo attire headband and all. Poured moonshine over the cut and bandaged the guy up then ran back into the woods. Pretty creepy but probably saved that guy's life."
Over my Shoulder
"(25 Female) Was working out at a fairly busy gym with one other person in the gym at the time as it was late at night. He made a point to only work out on the equipment directly behind me, and every time I would move to another, he would move to the machine behind. It happened so many times that I started to text my boyfriend to tell him I was getting kind of creeped out by a guy at the gym and I was uncomfortable because I was alone in the building with him."
"There’s an entire wall in this gym that’s just a long mirror so you can see the entire room through this giant thing. I look up at the mirror as I’m texting my boyfriend and this man was standing behind me and reading my text over my shoulder from behind the machine. Instead of freaking out and making the situation more dangerous for myself, I stood up and got off the machine and put my phone in my pocket, and briskly walked to the front door without even turning around."
"I walked out and got in my car safely but by this point, I was full of adrenaline and fear. Luckily he didn’t follow. I don’t know why he would have done that, or what his intentions were but I noped the f**k out of there. Reported it to my gym the next day and was told they would investigate and handle it. Never saw him again, thank God."
"Random guy walks into the restaurant I was working at before. He asked for a crazy coworker (we didn't interact at all) if she was working or if I can give her the schedule. I declined both because it was information he didn't need to know. Told another coworker at the time, and she told me the same guy would sit at a corner table and watch her work."
"At that point, I told her that he was banned and to let a crazy coworker tell him he was banned and can't come back. I also informed the cooks to have the cooks make sure she left safely. This only happened because he happened to give me a creepy chill down my spine when he walked in and asked the question."
"He kept looking at my feet and ankle and asked to rub my feet the first time I decided to hang out with him. Luckily when he approached me, while he was cute, I was cautious and made our first hangout a group hangout which now I am so glad about. He got creepier the second hangout (public again) and then when I decided a couple of hangouts were enough and I ended our contact, I later saw him in the news arrested for trying to break into a girl's house and trying to attack her."
Okay, that is too much. The foresight to do a group hang was really something.
"He had no friends so to be nice one day I invited him over after school to trade some cards. The second my dog met him doggo's body language shifted to tense and alert."
"The dog wouldn't let us be in the same room without sitting between us and straight stared him down the entire time and it was the weirdest vibe. Never did that to anyone else. Creepiest dude I ever met, to be honest. While he was over he openly told me he stole a girl's wallet so he could 'find it' and ask her out. I didn't hang out with him anymore after that."
You know nothing...
"Dude called other people NPCs (non-player characters) and couldn't understand that women have their own thoughts that don't involve trying to impress men. Like... he couldn't understand that women have hobbies because they're fun. Weird, narcissistic, and creepy. Oh yeah, he doesn't like it when he gets called creepy."
The Crazy Influencer
"He stalked me, threatened me, got me involved in a cross-country legal thing, caused me to beg for a restraining order which was finally granted, lied about me, harassed me, and showed up to my house with a gun. Why? I was his coworker at a retail store for a few months and said “no” when he wanted to date randomly. I barely knew his name at the time… he’s an 'influencer' now that he’s out of jail."
"I had a client whose dog protected me from him. He had a creepy fake smile, and that pit bull sat on my foot, staring at him, and keeping herself between us. He laughed and said she's always protecting him, but if she was, she wouldn't have her back to me. She was keeping him away from me."
Listen to the gut...
"I can't put a finger on why I was creeped out by him the first time we met, but a few months later he murdered two people."
"So I'm really glad I was creeped out by him the first time we met."
This is why I try never to leave the house.
Some people have lost their minds.
Be safe out there!
People Explain Which Things Are More Physically Painful Than Most Folks Realize
It's true that sometimes we just can't understand what someone's going through until we walk in their shoes.
This can be especially true of physical ailments, particularly the less visible conditions that many would rather assume are figments of the sufferer's imagination.
On the flip side, we can try to be empathetic, but truly, sometimes until you've experienced it yourself, you just can't imagine how bad it is.
Already cringing, Redditor fyflate89 asked:
"What's way more physically painful than most people realize?"
"Endometriosis. I end up bleeding for two weeks straight if I miss a dose of my birth control. Last time I was bedridden for at least three days and could still barely function the next few days."
"When I had to drag my a** out of bed because my grades would drop if I missed any more class (I’m a college student), I was in so much pain, anemic, dehydrated, and nauseous..."
"But, ya know, it’s just 'cramps,' right? Get over it."
"Ear infections are no joke."
"I had an eardrum and canal infection in my right ear. Completely deaf for a week with a ruptured eardrum."
"I couldn't so much as touch the right side of my head without being in complete agony. I could barely talk or eat because opening my jaw was excruciatingly painful."
Degenerative Disc Disease
"Degenerative Disc Disease in C4/5/6.I look completely fine and can't get disability."
"I also can't look up for longer than 30 seconds, drive for more than 15 minutes, mow my lawn, work on my jeep, or even change my brakes or oil without being laid out in pain for days afterward."
"At its worst, it causes ocular migraines that partially blind me and both arms go numb and I can't hold anything."
"The disability Judge said I was exaggerating my symptoms. F**k him. I hope he gets the same thing."
"Depression. When I get it bad, my bones and my skin ache. I can feel it in my teeth."
"Colors fade, too."
"Nerve pain… Mine has come and gone at different intervals and intensities throughout the last 10 years, and I can completely understand why people go through serious depression and thoughts of suicide when they feel so helpless because nothing helps reduce the pain."
Not Even for the Worst Enemies
"Getting a colposcopy (cervical biopsy where they rip out a piece of your cervix to test it for cancer)."
"Getting a uterine ultrasound with contrast dye that is injected into your uterus to see if your fallopian tubes are clear (felt like someone punched your uterus from the inside)."
"Getting an intestinal blockage. Getting an intestinal blockage that results in gangrene."
"Those are the most painful things I’ve experienced and my wish for you who read this is to never experience them, especially the intestinal blockages. I wouldn’t wish any of these on my worst enemies."
"I once worked a six-hour shift as a cafe manager with active appendicitis, when I showed up to the ER (after my doctor and my boyfriend demanded I do), they were astonished I’d been running around and lifting/serving for that long."
"Two years later, I was diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis, and I had a cyst the size of a golf ball. Parts of my organs were stuck together and they’d always been dismissed as 'normal period pain.'"
"It’s amazing how much pain you can go through when everyday pain is your baseline. A good endo day for me, pre-surgery, was a three or four out of a ten-point scale. A bad one had me on the tile floor clutching a heat pack, feeling like I’d been stabbed in the front and taken a shotgun to my back."
"I'm a dude so I've never experienced them, but I've had two girlfriends, completely healthy young women, who've needed to be carried to the bathroom due to the pain."
"My boys, we lucked the f**k out on this one. Be respectful."
"Hear me out. People think passing them is what hurts and they couldn’t be more wrong. Passing them is a minor inconvenience."
"The part that hurts is when the stone is making its way to your bladder. Three- to five-hour bursts of unimaginable pain that has no way of being subdued. I was dizzy, nauseous, and walking around like Quasimodo when those bursts happened."
"The unexpected pain of having an IUD insertion was actually traumatizing. There’s no f**king reason they shouldn’t warn people about that beforehand."
"They said, 'Oh, it’ll just feel like period cramps.'"
"NO, you f**king id**t, I couldn’t see straight, I had an actual fight-or-flight response where I had to be held down because I was trying to get off the table and run out of the room with no f**king underwear on, I was bleeding heavily for DAYS afterward, and I had cold pain sweat all over my body."
"That s**t was the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life and I cannot believe they do that procedure every day without ANY sort of anesthetic."
"I was curled up in a ball and wouldn’t let anyone touch me for like two weeks afterward."
"A gallbladder attack. I've undergone so many spinal surgeries, my family literally lost count. I know pain. I know pain very well."
"I was in such agony from my gallbladder freaking out that I had it taken out as fast as I could possibly have that done. I wasn't about to f**k around and find out."
"I've never been happier that dentists exist AND get paid as much as they did until I got my broken, aching wisdom tooth removed. Instant pain dissipation, and even though I was awake during the whole thing, he always made me feel comfortable and taken care of."
"When people say rotting teeth used to kill people back before modern medicine, I 100% believe it. I wanted to kill myself at a couple of points, and I didn't even have tooth decay."
"There’s toothache and then there’s a full-blown abscess. The kind where the side of your face is swollen. It’s not a toothache anymore. Now it’s a migraine and earache."
"The pain is always there and comes in waves of pain excruciating pain. No pain meds work. Only antibiotics will take the pain away."
"Broken ribs. Typically no outward signs to anyone that you're injured, but trust me it's painful as h**l and takes a long-a**ed time to heal."
Migraines and Cluster Headaches
"I'm not talking about bad headaches. I'm talking about the absolute h**l that is an actual blurred-vision, face-numbing, uncontrolled vomiting-inducing, skull-splitting classic migraine."
"Have you ever contemplated death over pain? A particularly nasty migraine will make you do that."
"I get cluster headaches. There was this one medication, sumatriptan, that worked a third of the time, and you may have heard about treating them with mushrooms, but that's also a dice roll. Sometimes it's immediate release and a preventative. Sometimes it just pushes a worse one two weeks down the line."
"It's not as comprehensive as a migraine, it's a single spot in particular. There's a tiny demon on my trigeminal nerve with a tiny lava/wasp sting knife. Most of the time they don't last long. Sometimes ibuprofen and a frigid shower are enough. But at the worst, it's definitely asymptomatically approaching suicidal."
These conditions leave us cringing to think about, especially the ones that leave the sufferer wondering if they can make it to the other side of the pain.
The most important thing to remember is how invisible many of these conditions are, even a broken rib, and that even if you can't see what someone else is going through, doesn't mean they are struggling through it.
People Break Down Which Professions Have Died Out In Their Lifetime
Particularly for the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s kids, a lot of businesses and jobs have gone out of style or have been eliminated entirely with advancing technology and societal needs.
While we can all understand how that happened, some of these businesses were arguably gone too soon.
Redditor SilentJoe27 asked:
"What's a profession you've seen phased out in your lifetime?"
"Paperboys. Having a paper route used to be a thing, but now there are very few people who get a daily physical paper. The route must cover a lot of miles now."
Video Rental Stores
"Video rental stores."
"This is so sad, too. I used to do the Blockbuster mail rentals, and for a time you could exchange them in-store for other movies (and it would flag yours as returned)."
"The people in the store knew their movies. I would hand them the three I got, tell them what I thought, and they would make three recommendations, and I was never disappointed."
"Even before Blockbuster, the Ma and Pa rental places were great, even if I was never allowed to go 'behind the curtain.'"
Quick Photo Development
"Photo Booth operator."
"Back in the 20th century, there used to be small huts in parking lots where a person would develop your film in as soon as one hour."
"I remember one-hour photo places in the mall where you could watch the photos developing in the window. Also, one-hour photos used to cost a lot more than regular developing, which could take a week."
"Sometimes it really blows my mind how I can have instant photos at any time."
"Radio disc jockeys."
"They're not gone yet, but they are dwindling toward extinction. Local disc jockeys are fewer and fewer as radio stations consolidate under corporations."
"They once played records they liked in addition to the hits. A DJ could single handily make a new band famous. Now it’s basically software playing the same predetermined top 40 songs on rotation."
Toll Booth Operators
"Toll booth collectors."
"Dude, that was one that was on its way out but then got absolutely DELETED by the pandemic. RIP."
Movie Theater Projectionists
"I used to be a projectionist at a movie theater. Most theaters are all digital now with the projectors on timers."
"And theaters have suffered because of it. Masking is all over the place. No respect for proper brightness. The screens are filthy. These are major reasons people go to the movies less and it starts with the end of protectionists."
An Extensive List
"I'm in my early 50's. Here are some."
"Executive assistants and secretaries. When I started my career even low-level managers had a person to write memos, answer their phone, and plan their travel. I worked in a company of 3,000 people and I bet there were 100 of them. Now I'm guessing there are two."
"The entire industry of pricing guns. Everything in the store had a small white sticker with the price on it. The UPC code and scanner eliminated this and probably half of the jobs that stock shelves."
"Small Engine Repair. Sure, there are still some people out there doing this, but small engines used to fail constantly and everyone had a few of them. The reliability of the devices has reduced the number of people doing this."
"Cobblers. There used to be people that fixed shoes and shined shoes. Every town had one. Every man had his shoes shined often."
"Manual processing. Factories used to be full of people doing ordinary things, like flipping over a different piece of metal every eight seconds or pulling green apples off of the conveyor belt. Now that robotic systems are easy to program and cheap to buy, those jobs don't exist."
Photography and Videography
"I used to make a nice living as a photographer. I worked for Warner Bros., Atlantic Records, Virgin Records, etc. There’s really hardly any money in that anymore."
"Repairmen. When I was a kid and something broke, you would just take it to the local repairman and he would fix it."
"Stereo, TV, vacuum, lawnmower, bike... These guys could fix anything. They had a small shop where they had parts for everything; in some sort of comforting chaos."
"And I have been looking for a couple of years now to find someone to fix my 1960s toaster. Even the company doesn't have any ideas where I could send it."
"A typesetter. The guy who would physically lay out all the fonts and arrange how a newspaper or magazine page would be printed."
"I've worked for a commercial printing company going on 22 years. It's amazing how much different it is now compared to when I first started. Never had to old school 'typeset' like you're talking about but we did have to burn negatives for every single printing plate we used."
"Telephone switchboard and long-distance operators."
"An aunt was an AT&T operator. When they were broken up, she received some 'throw-away' stocks in the new company NYNEX, which she kept. It's now Verizon."
"She doesn't need to work but is a health care aid."
"Door-to-door salesmen. You used to see them pretty frequently back in the 60s, never see them now."
"I remember vacuum salesmen still showing up and doing a 30-minute demo in the late 80s. Now you just go to Walmart and get a vacuum for $100. Things have gotten so cheap."
"Medical transcription. Trained editors in medical language have resorted to spot-checking s**tty dictation done by Dragon. Once an important profession now replaced by technology."
"I remember when our family bought a set in the early 80s. It was such a huge help for me and my siblings to not have to go to the library to work on every research assignment. It was kind of a bummer how quickly they became outdated to the point of being almost unusable, though."
Phone Book Deliveries
"Phone books. It used to be major money in ad sales."
"I'm not saying I got all Navin Johnson about the new phone book arriving, but it always had a wealth of information and good coupons along with the phone numbers and addresses. I just got our new one a few months ago, and it was very disappointing."
While it's understandable that available jobs will change will societal demand, it seems there were some jobs and destinations, like video rental stores, that were simply gone too soon. At least these businesses created lasting memories for those who were fortunate enough to experience them.
Whether we like it or not, the fact that each and every one of us will expire one day and go off into whatever the next phase of existence is is a harsh reality.
So we might as well make the most of the time we have while we're here and leave our mark.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave for the succeeding generations?
Curious to hear from strangers online about how they want to be remembered posthumously, Redditor D_And_R_Gaming asked:
"What do you want written on your tombstone?"
There is still humor in death.
"I asked to be cremated what the hell"
"I was going to say 'Bacon Cheeseburger' but then realized that’s Jack’s, not Tombstone."
Life Is A Crapshoot
"I've made many dumb decisions in my life, and only one of them got me killed."
"Russian roulette without the roulette."
People got creative.
"A Steam review of Life:"
"309,936 hours played 'It's OK.' 👎 Does NOT Recommend "
"1964 - 2137"
"My spidey senses tell me you are from Poland."
Careful What You Wish For
"Slightly off topic….but I saw a picture of a headstone once that had a cookie recipe on the back of it. The poster said that while grandma was alive, they’d ask her for her famous cookie recipe and she’d say, 'over my dead body'. So, when she died, they found the recipe and put it where she always said - over her dead body."
"I don’t care if it’s true or not; that’s savage and I’m here for it!"
There seems to be no limit to what you can have on your epitaph.
We Have Options
[ ] Continue
[X] Save & Quit"
[ ] Continue
[ ] Save & Quit
[X] QuitI don't have to be saved"
"My body lies but still I roam."
"Roamer, Wanderer, Nomad, Vagabond, Call me what you will"
Message To Mortals
"GET OFF MY DAMN GRAVE!!"
"In really small writing... 'you're standing on my balls'"
Only The Strong Survive
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
"Evidently you didn't get stronger."
"A short melody in sheet music carved into the stone that causes bad weather and time travel paradoxes when repeated."
A Lasting Impression
"I dunno but when I was a kid I came across the tombstone of a world war 2 vet. And on the tombstone was his picture. He has very long canine teethe like a vampire, on the stone was a poem that read"
“'Beware kind friend as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare for death and follow me.' It’s just something I’ve never forgotten."
I remember being amused as a kid waiting in line to ride Disneyland's iconic Haunted Mansion attraction.
Up on a hillside adjacent to the Antebellum-style manse were a series of headstones with darkly humorous epitaphs.
One that particularly drew my attention was one that read:
"Here lies good old Fred. A great big rock fell on his head. R.I.P."
At the time, I really did think gravestones explained how the deceased perished, and that this one was intentionally funny.
Can you imagine?