You know, there are some movies just so terrible and infuriating that I can't believe they were ever made and I would do anything to have my time back.
So I finally decided to watch Cats last week, much to my regret. I was with friends. We figured we'd finally get around to it and enjoy a good laugh. Food was made, drinks were poured, everyone was in a great mood. And then the movie started. It was a surreal experience, odd even. We found ourselves laughing incredulously during the first half hour or so but then the fun abruptly stopped. The film was just bad and I hope no one pays Tom Hooper to direct a film again. This is the same man who gave us the bore that was Les Miserables and Russell Crowe's frog voice, so if you'd also like to have him brought before the Hague, let's do something about it.
After Redditor Master_Freeze asked the online community, "If there was one movie you could completely delete from reality, what would it be?" people got quite... passionate about their choices.
"Stephen King fans waited years..."
The Dark Tower.
Stephen King fans waited years and years and years for this movie, only for a 90 minute bullsh!t parade that didn't scratch the surface of the story.
"There are enough issues with the film..."
Artemis Fowl. There are enough issues with the film to make even a casual watcher hate it, forget about those who read the books. They went beyond screwing up.
"I bet 2020..."
The Cats movie. I bet 2020 is a punishment from God for humans because they made the Cats movie.
"It was so bad..."
After Earth, starting Will and Jayden Smith. Worst movie ever. It was so bad, I walked out and asked for my money back.
"I feel like the world would be better off..."
I feel like the world would be better off if we could delete The Birth Of A Nation from history. Might set moviemaking techniques back a while, but would remove one of the most pernicious sources of white supremacist propaganda in history.
"The damage that the movie did..."
Jaws. The damage that that movie did to the population of sharks is incalculable. Even the author of the book it was based on, Peter Benchley, says he wishes he had never written it.
"Saw it in cinemas..."
Fantastic Four (2015). Saw it in cinemas when it was released the whole storyline was terrible when it finished I can hear everyone s*** talking about how bad it was.
"I just wish..."
I just wish we could redo the Star Wars sequels and have them have a cohesive vision. Whether that vision is from JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson, or whoever else, that trilogy clearly needed someone with a vision to keep the narrative moving in the same direction.
"I love Batman..."
Batman and Robin with George Clooney. I love Batman and ive never walked out on a movie in the theater besides this one. The stupid puns, the ridiculous sound effects and the Bat Credit Card seriously WTF. Totally ruined the Batman franchise for me.
"I can't believe they suckered me in..."
Catfish. I can't believe they suckered me in with that stupid BS tagline "the movie Hitchcock was too scared to make." F*** whoever wrote that, f*** whoever wrote the movie, f*** everyone involved with it. I hope they get three hours of their time wasted by some stupid BS.
"Nothing to learn."
I can't believe no one has said this. Jesus Christ, there was just no need for that movie. I haven't the words to describe how badly that affected me. And it added nothing of value. Nothing to learn. No introspection sparked. Just grotesque.
"I was a teenager..."
Flowers in the Attic.
I was a teenager when I got into the whole V.C. Andrews series' of books and was so excited when I heard that this book was being made into a movie. Never have I been so utterly disappointed in an adaptation, and frankly, a bit second hand embarrassed for the people who acted in that piece of crap.
"It's the 'Pickle Rick'..."
The Big Lebowski.
It's the 'Pickle Rick' of wasted burnout Gen X losers who think quoting the same movie a hundred times a week is their personality.
"I hated that movie."
I hated that movie. I honestly with I'd never bothered with it and there's not enough bleach to wash it from my brain. It was horrible on multiple levels.
"The franchise already had..."
Toy Story 4.
I don't inherently hate the movie or think it was terrible, but it was unnecessary and seems like it was mostly just done for the money. The franchise already had a perfect, all-encompassing ending with the third movie.
"That movie never needed to exist..."
Live Free or Die Hard. That movie never needed to exist and is a complete sin and waste of time to watch.
"To make it worse..."
Ready Player One.
The movie was NOTHING like the book. I kept telling everyone that basically the only things they kept the same were the characters names and the fact that there was a competition going on. Within just the first few minutes I knew the movie was going to be completely different but I was so mad/disappointed about it. I think it made it worse that I had just finished the book a month before the movie came out because a friend kept telling me I had to read it, so it was pretty fresh on my mind at the time.
To make it worse my other brother LOVED the movie so once it came out he literally watched the movie at least once a day. I kept telling him to read or listen to the book because it was SO much better but it took him like half a year before he ever gave it a shot. Once he did he couldn't believe how different it was.
"That movie has so many issues."
The Last Jedi. That movie has so many issues. Rian Johnson is a pretty good director but man, he f***** that movie up. I've also lost a lot of respect for Rotten Tomatoes as a result of their score for that movie.
"The entire point..."
Alien 3! The entire point of Aliens was Ripley doing the impossible to save Newt from the Alien Queen. Then the idiots who wrote and produced Alien 3 made the odious choice to kill Hicks and Newt in the opening scene...off camera, no less! One stupid script line negating everything that happened in Aliens! What a crock! The entire A3 movie does not exist in my mind. It ruined the entire point of the franchise.
"The KKK had largely faded..."
I would vote for The Birth of a Nation. The KKK had largely faded into nothingness until that bullshit hit the silver screen, and even got praise from President Woodrow Wilson.
Now I'm not naïve enough to think racism wouldn't be around today if not for that movie, but I do think it emboldened people who were already being relegated to the corners of society, and made it mainstream if not outright acceptable to openly hate and discriminate against Black people, rekindling a bunch of embers that should have been smothered instead.
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