People Break Down Which Movies Would Only Be 10 Minutes Long If The Main Character Weren't Such An Idiot

Knowable

Movie plots thrive on unresolved conflict.

These tensions allow the overall plot to keep churning forward so emotional character arcs have a little time to develop and draw us in.

How else would we stomach near-misses for over two hours?

Some films, however, are just two bold with those almost-but-not-quite solutions. An obvious chance to solve it all rears it's head super early in the movie, so the remaining couple hours feel extra, too unbelievable to become invested in.


And how do those near-misses go down? The protagonist is, at least for a moment, a total dummy. They let an obvious solution slip away so they can fight bad guys or chase bad guys or fall in love for awhile before solving the problem anyway.

RedstonekPL asked, "What movie could have been over in 10 minutes if the main character wasn't such a fool?"

If Something Seems Weird, It Is

"The Visit:"

"Kids: 'We're going to visit our grandparents.'"

"Mom: 'I don't want you to go, but if you feel like you really want to go, I'll drive you to their house.'"

"Mom: 'Hey, y'all ain't my parents. I'm calling the police.'"

"The end."

-- earhere

Fragile Egos

"Not a movie, but breaking bad would have worked out much better for Walt if he had just swallowed his pride and allowed his old friend to pay for his cancer treatment." -- rinkydinkis

"I know right."

"'My rich friend will pay for everything and all I have to do is play Candy Crush and eat Pop Tarts but you know what I'm going to make drugs and kill people instead.'" -- tells_you_hard_truth

Intense Scrutiny of a Children’s Film

"Over the Hedge. RJ decided to be a dum-dum and steal all of the bear's food."

"Like what did he think would happen even if he didn't accidentally wake him up the bear would still have woken up a week later and probably would've known it was RJ."

-- CJ33333

All About Cash

"Aladdin. If Jafar would have just paid Aladdin what he promised him instead of betraying him at the cave, he would have had the lamp and become king be mighty powerful."

"Aladdin just wanted his money in return for the lamp."

-- kiwiwatermelonnn

Rules and Regulations

"School of rock"

"Mrs Mullins: Can I see your ID mr Sheebly?"

"Dewey: Uh sorry I don't have it"

"Mrs Mullins: Sorry you won't be able to teach the kids unless you have proof you're a teacher/who you are!"

"CREDITS"

-- mewchitects

Budget Cuts

"Jurassic Park if Hammond actually spared no expense." -- wolfmann

"Hammond: 'Spared no expense'

"15 minutes later"

"'I told you how many times we needed locking mechanisms on vehicle doors!"

"'How the f*** do you have a t rex but not locks on the car doors" -- 24520ls

Draw the Line at One, People

"Any horror movie where your friends are dying one by one. After the third one, you say "f*ck it" and leave." -- snowdead78

"Third?! After one death I'm outta there and not coming back without the cops." -- spiders_wrath

The Coolest Parents

"If Mr. and Mrs. Bueller were anything like my parents, the movie would have been called 'Ferris Bueller's Day at School'" -- Corporate-Asset-6375

"If they were anything like my parents they would have called my bluff, taken me to the doctor's office, and found out, to my own surprise as well, that I had bronchitis." -- monty_kurns

The Drama of Bad Communication

"Pretty much anything on the Hallmark Channel: 'Wait, let me explain.'" -- hymie0

"That's the problem though, they spend all the time shouting 'no wait! I can explain! It's not why it looks like! You have to believe me!!!' And no time actually explaining."

"All you've got to say is 'those texts were from my sister' or 'I was planning your surprise party, that's why I was being sneaky!' Or 'she kissed me and I immediately pulled back!' Or 'She was drunk and I was helping her get home!'" -- MyMourningJackit

Lessons Learned

"No Country For Old Men. Never go back to the scene of the crime." -- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"...also if you find a duffel bag full of cash and decide to keep it, check it for tracking devices." -- dans_assorted_art

"Take the cash. Leave the duffel bag."

"Now Llewellyn and Carla are living comfortably in an isolated Idaho ranch they paid cash for." -- Maxwyfe

An Empathetic Critique

"I mean, Dorothy should have asked a few more questions about the ruby slippers." -- JamesRenner

"To be fair, she's a 10-year-old who's just been carried off by a tornado/nightmare factory, found out she indirectly killed someone, and had that person's next of kin threaten to murder her. Footwear is probably low on her list of priorities."

"Glinda implied she didn't know much about the slippers' powers, so there's no one for Dorothy to ask, anyway." -- boxofsquirrels

"Reservoir Dogs:"

"'I dunno, Joe. This heist seems kinda risky and dangerous.'"

"'Yeah, I'm not actually sure everyone in this crew is on the up and up. IT'S OFF!'"

-- Neo_Basil

Learning By Doing

"Any movie where the main character says 'there's no time to explain'" -- Knickers_in_a_twist

"This made me think of Princess Bride... 'Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up.' Such a good movie. I suppose a summation is good enough." -- TangledTwisted

All Figured Out

"John Wick."

"If Theon would have just killed John (considering they f*cked him up pretty bad), not only would we not have gotten three movies, but Theon would be known as the person who killed Baba Yaga."

"Being the son of a crime lord AND world wide recognition for killing the most famous assassin on the planet would make the Tarasov family untouchable."

-- OkayestHistorian

How Not to Drive a Cartoon Racecar

"– Please, Lightning McQueen, change your tires in this pit stop."

"– Ok"

"tires wouldnt have blown in the last lap and he would have won, as he was comfortably leading the race"

"*No need for a tie breaker race"

-- marisque

Cash is King

"Willy wonka & the chocolate factory: The kid finds the golden ticket and sells it to another rich, spoiled kid. Easy millions, they are not poor anymore and he wouldn't have a trauma because if the dying kids in the factory"

-- weberrich

Glad We Got to See That One Play Out Though...

"Not a movie, but breaking bad would have worked out much better for Walt if he had just swallowed his pride and allowed his old friend to pay for his cancer treatment." -- rinkydinkis

"I know right."

"'My rich friend will pay for everything and all I have to do is play Candy Crush and eat Pop Tarts but you know what I'm going to make drugs and kill people instead.'" -- tells_you_hard_truth

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