People Share The Most 'WTF' Thing Their Parents Have Ever Said
"Reddit user TheGasMove asked: 'What has a parent said to you that made you go wtf?'"
Just because someone is an adult or a parent doesn't mean crazy things can't fall out of their mouths every so often.
Sometimes parents say the darndest things.
That's why we should always have a pen or a recording device at the ready.
I suggest the phone.
Just wear fitted tees with pockets and hit record.
You have know idea how much having receipts will pay off mentally later.
Redditor TheGasMove wanted to hear about what things parents have said to their kids that left kids SHOOKETH, so they asked:
"What has a parent said to you that made you go WTF?"
The amount of things my mother has said to me that has left me gobsmacked is endless.
I should've kept a journal.
The ProofJennifer Lawrence Reaction GIF Giphy
"After I told my mother that I didn't open up to her or my dad because I didn't trust them with my emotions, she started screaming that she hated me. Like, girl, this is exactly why I don't tell you things 😂."
"My mom told me that women pooped babies out of their butt. I believed this until I was 12 or 13. Boy, I got laughed at when I used this as my answer when asked in Sex Ed."
"I (27 F) have divorced parents and my mom always taught me the proper anatomy for things and that it's nothing shameful. On the other end, one day when I was at my dad's, a stray cat gave birth on his porch, and my stepsisters (same age) told my half-sister that it was coming out of the cat's butt, and I was like dude what? I questioned them, and they gave me scornful looks like I just said something offensive. LOL."
"A few months ago I had gone to do a surprise visit to my grandparents on my dad’s side. While I was driving up their property I saw them walking in their groceries and witnessed seeing my dad for the first time. I had never met my dad in my life but knew my grandparents."
"I walked up and greeted my grandmother and she ushered me over to talk to my father. As I went to greet him this dude threw his hood on and jumped in his truck and locked the doors and said no words to me. Never in my life have I witnessed a grown man run away like that."
"My father once told me that between my brother and I, I was his favorite. This caught me off guard because I thought parents weren’t supposed to have favorites."
"My dad once told me I’m not his favorite. So I told him he’s not my favorite either. Proceeded to get angry."
"It's problematic to share with your kids that you have a favorite."
Bald ChoicesRegret No GIF by Outside TV Giphy
"I shaved my head at 21 and kept that hairstyle for the last 28 years. My dad walked into my room when I was 26 and asked me for a comb! He looked at me, thought about it for a second, and laughed. RIP dad. I miss you."
It's my hair. I'll do what I want to.
That's the kid's motto.
Adults not so much.
At least that was my experience.
Why Bother?Ytho GIF Giphy
"When I called my mother to find out a good time of year to visit her she said, 'What for?'"
Sure Papa Joe!
"Wasn’t my parents but my Grandpa."
“'Josh can you take me to see Marge?' Marge was his long-time girlfriend who had Alzheimer’s. My GP was in his 70s at the time and we took away his car because he was a dangerous man behind the wheel, to say the least. 'Sure Papa Joe!' That or PJoe was his nickname."
"Drive him to the place Marge was cared for at. Stop at the front and ask 'How long until I come back?' He replied 'Give me an hour. That should be long enough for us to have sex.' I start crying laughing and he leaves with a giant smirk. I could never look at him again without thinking or saying 'Almost 80 and still getting after it, WTF!"
"Oof. I hadn’t talked to my dad in 15 years. I decided to reach out (for certain reasons and not to restart a relationship). He asked if he could ask me about my life. I let him. I told him, among other things, I was in a wonderful relationship with a terrific gal."
“'Is this a real relationship or like the girlfriends I had when I was with your mother.'”
"I was equally glad I disowned him 15 years ago, disappointed a man and a father would speak like that to his estranged son, and angry that he was the father I was born to. He is just one big joke to me."
Chop ChopSteve Harvey Reaction GIF Giphy
"I would often visit the kitchen to watch how my mother cooks. One day when my father saw me coming out of the kitchen, he said 'You keep visiting the kitchen, your penis and testicles are gonna fall off. That’s how girls are made.” Context: I was 7 when he said that to me and we are a Korean family."
Learning to cook, is a great survival skill.
More dads need to get onboard with that.
Reddit user Veetojek asked: 'What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?'
Not everyone excels in the art of flirting, and who can blame them?
Getting the attention of someone you admire can be nerve-wracking, and your lack of confidence in the heat of the moment can be amplified and make you appear less attractive to the object of your affection.
Curious to hear examples of what to avoid in the pursuit of passion, Redditor
"What was the worst attempt at flirting you have ever seen?"
These advances are just genuinely bizarre.
"My friend in college started hanging out with 'pick up artists' and decided to demonstrate his prowess to us on the quad. His strat was to approach a girl and ask what she thought he should make for dinner that night (I guess it was supposed to lead to an invitation?) He then very-much-not-confidently approached a girl who was clearly in a hurry and, staring at the ground, delivered the line. The girl glared at him and, with great annoyance, said ' I have no idea! Spaghetti, or something?' And my buddy, still staring at the ground, said 'Oh-oh-ok. Uh, thanks' and shuffled away."
He also “learned” from this group that you’re supposed to touch a girl’s arm every time she laughs to condition her to associate your touch with a release of dopamine or endorphins or something. So I witnessed this several times as well, never done with any subtlety or charisma. He did finally get laid after about eight months of trying but the whole thing seemed creepy to me."
"It was me. In sixth grade I wrote a girl’s name on a rock and threw it at her during recess. Apparently they don’t like that 🤷🏻♂️"
"Did your approach change much from those days with the introduction of pokeballs?"
"On a walk with my dog, hot sweaty and not in the best clothes. This man drove behind me following me for a few minutes and I looked and said can I help you? He said let’s go on a date! Hop in!"
"I said no thanks and he revved his engine, asked if I was sure then sped off. I was legit scared."
These attempts at flirting are straight from a sitcom.
Down The Rabbit Hole
"A man asked a woman sitting next to me, 'I think your name is Alice since I'm lost in Wonderland.'"
"Oof. That made me cringe, imagining it."
"Guy on a trip saw a new girl in our group that he found cute. Decided to take the insult-as-a-form-of-flirting path and told her she had really hairy arms for a girl. Mind you, she had incredibly fair skin, so her hairs stood out more than usual. She, having too nice of a personality to say anything, laughed it off, covered her arm in a real smooth manner, and went on with whatever conversation was happening. My guy thought it worked because it 'made her laugh;' and you know you've got the green light when she laughs at your jokes. The next day he goes up to her during breakfast thinking he locked it up and exclaims, 'Oh my god your arms are so hairy that it's gonna make me sick!!' She doesn't laugh this time, runs back to her room, and changes into a long-sleeve shirt. She proceeded to wear long-sleeve shirts or sweaters for the remainder of the trip...in the middle of July. They didn't have a single interaction for the remaining 4 days."
Fumbling For Words
"My own. Drunk at a party talking to a cute girl she takes her glasses off. I thought this would be a good time for a genuine compliment. What my mouth said 'I like your face better with your glasses on' she just laughed. Pretty sure what I was trying to say is I like your glasses, and you have a pretty face. I just combined them."
"When I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on my babysitter."
"I decided to impress her by demonstrating my acrobatic prowess. I sprung from the side of a spiral slide and grabbed the monkey bars without touching the ground. Unfortunately, my hands slipped, I flipped through the air, and shattered my wrist in two places upon landing."
"My first thought was, 'Don't cry; be tough.' then I saw my wrist, it looked like a sine wave. I immediately started crying."
Some guys come on way too strong
"I saw two girls talking at a bar, and this guy walks up and interrupts them with a 'Heheheyyy, what are you ladies drinkin tonight eh? (Slaps the bar) Hey Barkeep, lemme get a couple rounds for these two!' They of course took the drinks, but promptly relocated away from that obnoxious dude."
"When I was younger I worked in a bar with a guy nicknamed ' Scooter.'"
"He'd say to any girl that was alone at the bar, 'Hi! My name is Scooter. I like to f' k. How do you like me so far?'"
"Some would glare and walk away, and a couple of times he got slapped across the face...but eventually he'd get a giggle."
"And he never went home alone."
Scene From A Gas Station
"When I was working at a gas station I had a dude just walk up to the register and just go ‘hey you have a boyfriend’"
"Of course he didn’t take ‘I’m not interested’ for an answer after. My assistant manager had to all put shove him out the door to get him to leave."
"I worked in retail for a long time."
"I’ll never forget the time when this late 50s looking guy blatantly cat called an older woman who was wearing black boots. He said, 'Damn baby you gonna wear those boots all day for daddy?'. Then she goes, 'Not a chance.' He went quiet and she walked away. I had to hold in my laughter cause it was just so cringey to see."
Either one's advances can come off as presumptuous and cocky or vulnerable and meek.
In most cases, people looking for love are overthinking it.
Here's a tip: Just relax and be yourself when approaching someone you like.
Being natural will not make you look desperate.
While there are no guarantees in scoring a date with this approach, chances are that with practice, you'll gain more confidence without overdoing it.
As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.
In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.
Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.
Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to
"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"
Humans Are Technically Animals...
"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"
"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."
"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody
You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...
"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."
"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple
"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."
"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."
"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisyWorking On It GIF by KAT BALL Giphy
Less Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down
'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."
"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."
"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK
The Dreaded Paywall...
"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."
"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."
"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."
"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."
"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."
"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."- pr0b0ner
Arguably, All For The Best?...
"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."
"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbfepisode 16 moe GIF Giphy
Chocolate Lovers Revolt!
"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."
"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."
"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."
"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."
"I imagine to save money."
"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."
"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."
"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."
"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."
"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-
Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...
"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMeTara Reid Storm GIF by SYFY Giphy
Not Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...
"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."
"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."
"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."
"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."
"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."
"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."
"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235
Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...
"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjaburaFound Footage Video GIF by Eternal Family Giphy
There's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...
"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"
"New and interesting food."
"Very different from most British food."
"Becomes very popular."
"Owners sell to a large company."
"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."
"Make the food more British."
"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."
"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."
"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr
Money Doesn't Solve Everything
"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."
"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."
"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "
"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoColdBored Sales GIF by E Giphy
Success can be a very dangerous thing.
As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.
A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.
What makes someone a 10?
It ain't all about looks, baby.
Looks are fine.
But charisma is everything.
There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.
That's why it's good to know your strengths.
Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:
"What is the most attractive thing about you?"
I think my eyes sell the whole package.
Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.
ConnectionsYoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODY Giphy
"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."
"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."
"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."
"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."
"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."
"That’s such a good quality."
"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."
"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."
"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"
Light as a Featherthe office therapy GIF Giphy
"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."
"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."
Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.
PerfectRegular Season Sport GIF by MLB Giphy
"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."
"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."
For the Boys
"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."
"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."
"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."
Share With Me
"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"
"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."
"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."
"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."
"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."
"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."
"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."
The BodyThe Simpsons Dance GIF Giphy
"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."
Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.
When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.
Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.
Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.
Reddit user _Halboro_ asked:
"What was something fairly small that made you feel betrayed by your [significant other]?"
"When he was doing a work contract overseas I sent him love letters every two weeks to feel connected."
"When he got home and unpacked I found many of them unopened."
"My high school girlfriend lent my hoodie to someone else."
"Gah! I had a University BF lend My hoodie to a girl (who was a smoker, too. 🤮)."
"There were at least 15 other single guys there that could have stepped up and lent her their sweaters, but mine was up for grabs!"
"And when I got it back it reeked. So, annoyed with him on multiple levels."
" My sister was in the hospital and he didn't do the dishes while I was gone for 3 days."
"When he got Covid, he was quarantined downstairs. I waited on him hand and foot."
"Three days later, I got Covid but while he was feeling better and still quarantining himself, I had to be sick and care for our son."
"I was stooped over the counter trying to make him dinner and he just went back downstairs. I’ll always remember that."
"My sister, nephew, and mom went on a vacay for about 9 days including travel days."
"When she and my nephew got home, the sink was full of dirty dishes and so was the island in their kitchen. Their island is HUGE, bigger than what I would consider average for a home."
"There were also trash bags just sitting around the house and it was just absolutely disgusting."
"It's small, but one year we were both working 15-18 hour days but had Thanksgiving off. I planned the menu, he didn't give input."
"I ordered the ingredients online during my lunch break to pick up after work because I didn't have time to shop."
"I woke up early, made everything. Cleaned the dishes and the kitchen after."
"All he did was complain."
"I made too much. I had too much wine (3 glasses over 7 hours)."
"After all that work and not even a compliment or a thank you?
"Yeah—we divorced. That was our last Thanksgiving together."
"After complaining for months that I never got to sleep in, despite being the only one to get up to the kids in the night, he finally let me sleep in one morning."
"I woke up hearing him quietly saying to the kids 'Mummy’s had long enough; go wake her up'."
"I only had maybe an hour extra. He always had several."
"I'm almost always up first. I tend the pets, get the kids going and make coffee. 20 min routine."
"Every morning I'd bring him a cup of coffee and open the curtains to let some sunlight in and then leave and he would play on his phone and sip coffee for half hour while I tended the kids and got to work."
"Then he complained that just because I was up didn't mean he had to be up."
"Guess who doesn't get hot coffee in bed anymore."
" My ex would skip the songs I liked that came on the radio."
"Was on my way back from Turkey with a nice stash of dried fruit from Afghanistan (imported to Turkey)."
"Declared it on my customs form."
"Got detained for agricultural reasons, said they would let me go but had to take the dried fruit."
"I looked and looked but could not find it. Was detained for hours."
"Turns out my girlfriend ate it all while I was asleep on the flight."
"We were going through airport security together."
"She went first and when she was being screened, pointed at me and said 'make sure you check my boyfriend, he always has knives' as a joke and then I got detained for a search and questioning and almost missed the flight.
"And no, I didn't have any knives other other contraband on me. Then she got mad at me for almost missing our flight."
"LIKE WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN HERE EMILY‽‽"
"When we were signing our first lease she joked with the landlord about how rowdy I am, to 0 chuckles or even a smile.
"I wanted to bang my head into a wall."
"I had a friend who dumped his girlfriend when he overheard her making fun of his (admittedly, rather nerdy) sister to her friends."
"He said it wasn’t just about loyalty to his sis, it was about not wanting to be with someone who has to put others down to feel better about herself."
"Always thought it was admirable."
"The most extreme case I know of is my dad and the girlfriend he had before my mom came along."
"He and the gf were high school sweethearts and had been together for three years. They were both dying to see Back to the Future 2, a movie that had been highly anticipated for years."
"He had a family emergency the day it came out so they agreed to see it the following Monday. He found out from friends she went to see it with a douchey guy friend my dad never really liked."
"He was so hurt and she was so unapologetic—her attitude was 'I’ll go see it with you too! Why did I have to wait?' even though they’d agreed to see it together. He told her they needed to take a break."
He fully meant for it to be temporary, just until he cooled off, but then he met my mom when he went to see the movie by himself…and he never looked back.
"He does feel a bit guilty though because his ex was pretty devastated when she found out he’d met someone else and wanted to end things for good."
People felt these were minor slights, but many seem pretty major from the outside looking in.
Most ended the relationship being described.
I guess it's proof positive that little things—good or bad—mean a lot.