I love therapy. If I could make my therapist live with me I would. But that's not an option, apparently it would be inappropriate. I digress, for far too long there has been an unhealthy stigma attached to achieving some form of mental health and the process involved to get there. Generations have learned that therapy is healthy, if not vital to acclimating to life. There is so much to learn when you have a chance to heard.
Redditor u/FRlVOLOUS wanted everyone to share and discuss why therapy is good for all of us by asking... What is the best, most valuable thing you've learned from therapy?I started out in therapy to battle my claustrophobia and it helped. I use to have to be medicated to ride an elevator, it took a bit but I was able to overcome that battle. I have since regressed because I had to stop therapy for awhile. But now I'm getting back on track. I have learned that I am capable of controlling my mindset in the moment when I feel trapped. It's a start.
Think About It
the office therapy GIFGiphyDon't judge your feelings, just try to understand where they're coming from. Judge your actions.
Oh Jack!
You can't control the actions of others, and you can't presume to know their motivations either.
A simple example would be "Jack is always drumming his fingers on the desk to annoy me. He knows I hate that!"
The fact is that, unless Jack tells you that, you cannot know if that's his motivation. Most likely, he's doing it absent-mindedly.
I know it's a silly example, but it applies to a lot of things. We tend to be very self-centred in our thinking.
10 Year Later
After I lost my oldest daughter to trisomy 18 anger was my go to emotional response to most things. I either cried or yelled. It felt impossible to process or move beyond because I felt so bitter at the unfair world I lived in. It didn't help I have abusive parents who were making things so much worse through their scumminess. I couldn't stand being any more depressed than I was. I could barely get out of bed. I definitely had to learn to process my emotions. That was almost 10 years ago. If I hadn't gone to therapy and put the work in I don't know who I would be today.
IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM...
One big thing I've learned is that someone might not know what they're doing is annoying you/hurt your feelings/offended you IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM. One of my friends critiqued a video of my training my dog but the way she went about it was unexpected and really hurt my feelings. I knew she meant well but she wouldn't know how bad it made me feel if I didn't tell her.
So I told her...
She apologized because it was not how she meant to come across. But since we had the conversation we were able to come up with an agreement that she would only critique videos if I sent them to her asking for help. And she ended up thanking me for telling her and said she was so happy that I felt safe enough to know she wasn't going to retaliate against me for it.
Time Heals
couple hug GIFGiphyGive yourself permission to grieve.
Not just for the loss of loved ones, but for anything that makes you feel sad.
So far, so enlightening. I hope y'all are taking notes. Too often we think that our problems don't merit help. As you can see we are often wrong. Let's continue...
No Excuses
Morgan Freeman Applause GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphyThat my past trauma and upbringing aren't excuses for my bad behavior, and i have to be the one to break the cycle.
Your Story
Acknowledge your feelings - and I mean ALL of your feelings.
Never give up on a NEW path or a modified path to your goals. Disc herniation received from a job I detested. It's been more than 3 decades ago... and wow does time fly.
Accepting this new path was hard for me, but the "choice" of the matter was taken from me, but one thing I would NOT give up was finding a true love.
Met online, married darn near 15 years now, best decision I ever made was NOT giving up!!!
Decided, I couldn't go out and shake my moneymaker lol, but daaamn I found online dating and the rest is "her story" i.e. my story of not giving up!!
Samesies...
My big, huge, existential emotional and psychological issues are actually NOT special — they're just like millions of other people's — and do not make me special. Learning to let them go is not a betrayal of who I am and will not make me less unique or interesting.
It is so it is...
I can live with/accept what I went through because I like where and who I am now (mostly). That was a huge success.
I think about this a lot.
If anything, at all, was different I might not be married to my wife.
If my parents stayed married, or my wife and I had sex ten minutes later, I wouldn't have these specific daughters who I love more than anything. Butterfly effect and all that.
It makes it so much easier to accept that everything I went through had to happen just like it did, but the future is wide open.
hip hop television GIF by WE tvIt's important to realize that needing therapy isn't a handicap. It's an enrichment. If you're trepidatious, just try one session. There are plenty of docs in your area that work with payments. You won't regret it.
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Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.