The words that fall out of the mouth of babes can leave people in shock.

That is why I've never trusted a child.

They have plans.

Micheal Myers was 6 years old when that story started.

Let's never forget that morsel of history.

Kids will say things that mirror horror movies before the movie is written.

So what does a parent do with that?

Let's find out.

Redditor TheEqualizer1212 asked how parents have been left shook by their kids:
"Parents of reddit, what is the most unsettling thing you have heard/seen your child do?"

I think kids have a mean streak, you just have to listen.

…correct, child

Scared The Launch GIF by CTVGiphy

"When we finally told my oldest, then three, I was pregnant, he stopped and grabbed my stomach intently. He thought for a moment and then said 'and we don’t stab the baby with knives?'”

"…correct, child."


The Fear

"I mentioned this just the other day. My bedroom is really dark during the night. Woke up to my daughter right in front of my face whispering 'mommy.' All I could see was just a big shadow when I woke up. Scared the sh*t out of me. My sons have done it too, just not as close to my face."

"She's also snuck in to our room in the middle of the night and grabbed my foot to wake me up."

"Childhood fear was realized except it was my own little monster instead of one that lives under the bed."

"I've also caught one of my sons smooshing his bits in between the toilet seat and bowl. He was taking forever in the bathroom so I got up to check on him and saw him doing that. Think he was 5 at the time."


Sharp Ideas

"My son walked into the room butt naked holding a pair of scissors and asked why his younger sister didn't have a penis. He never explicitly said he was thinking of performing surgery on himself, but we kept a close eye on him for a few weeks and hid all the scissors."


Best Of...

"A few greatest hits:"

"When my son was about 2/3, for a few days in a row he told me that there was someone in his room with 'no eyes, just ears' the night before."

"For a while around age 3, that same son got confused about the meaning of 'dead' and would use it to mean 'inanimate.' So a stuffed animal cat would be 'a dead cat,' and a doll would be 'a dead kid' etc."

"Now, at 4 years old, when he’s having a tantrum about something mundane, like he doesn’t want to go to bed or doesn’t want to get dressed, he’ll threaten to 'make himself not alive anymore.'"

"Meanwhile, when my daughter was around 5 years old, she discovered the concept of wills and inheritance (probably from the Aristocats movie, if I recall) and went through a phase of asking if various items of mine—usually sparkly stuff like jewelry—would be hers one day after I had died."

"Fun times."


Mommy said...

alphabet teaching GIF by South Park Giphy

"When my daughter was learning her ABCs, one morning at breakfast she sang all the way through for the first time. We congratulated her and asked if she'd been practicing at day care."

"'No, mommy's mommy taught me when I was in bed.'"

"Uh... Mommy's mommy died 3 years earlier."


Mommy has issues. As do we all...


Scared Breaking Bad GIF by davidsaracinoGiphy

"Most folks are talking about things they said, but for mine, it's the seizure, as a baby. First time that happens you have no idea what the hell is going on, but you know there's something wrong in your baby's brain. And that's just horrifying."


Out the Window

"My daughter (4) was playing in the backyard one day and I quickly went inside to do something in the kitchen on our first floor. I did not go upstairs to the bedrooms at all. After a minute or so I came back out. She said 'mommy why were you in my room? I saw you look out the window at me!'"

"This freaked me out because we were the only people home at the time. I said I didn't go upstairs and she insisted she saw me look out her window. With great hesitation I went upstairs to look around but nobody was in my house lol - ghost or otherwise."


The Parents

"For a few weeks my daughter started panicking at bed time about the 'parents' that would visit her during the night. It escalated to some serious nightmares and terrors, and was also creepy as sh*t. We asked her a lot of questions regarding, are the parents us? Are they your friend's parents (never know if shady sh*t is going on there) always no... no, just the parents."

"A few weeks into it my wife is driving down the road with her and she freaks out, Ma, look, it's the Parents!!!! It was f**king scarecrows. Somehow she thought scarecrows were called 'parents' and of course scarecrows are creepy, it was also Halloween so yeah, she was terrified of them."


“Help me! Let me out!”

"My son went through a phase when he was 6 where he would write 'Help me! Let me out!' on everything. It was on all his drawings and he’d write it outside on the side of the house for the neighbors to see. Then he started writing 'Help me!' backwards, like some redrum sh*t."

"Turns out he was really into Goosebumps and one of the episodes has a girl trapped in a mirror writing 'help me.' To the people looking into the mirror 'help me' was backwards. Mystery solved, my kid is just a bit theatrical."



Macaulay Culkin Christmas Movies GIF by filmeditorGiphy

"I was putting my 3 year old to bed and she said 'Mommy , can you tell me a story where we all get electrocuted.'"


See this is why I only have dogs. Kids are crazy.

Do you have any creepy children stories? Let us know in the comments.