Is there a standard for how we should be buried? Really. Once you pass on from this mortal realm, all notions of society and decency and rule-following should follow you. Nothing literally matters to you anymore because, guess what? You're dead. This feeling should give you the inspiration to make your funeral whatever you want it be. Invite anyone you want, have people dressed up, get balloons, or whatever. Your funeral should be just as magical as the life you hopefully lived, like these people below.
Reddit user, u/lcpjj_, wanted to know what the strangest thing was when they asked:
Funeral organisers of Reddit, what are the weirdest or most unique funerals you have organised?
Good Luck Timing That Out
Some retired admiral died, and his wife "insisted" that a group of F-18s perform a flyover during the service. Well, this was extremely difficult to pull off, for numerous reasons. Anyway, the owner of the funeral home was able to make it happen. Unfortunately, the flyover was roughly 2-3 minutes earlier then scheduled. The wife was so mad that she tried to withold paying.
How Else Would A 16-Year Old Go?
Former funeral director. Usually ran the back of the house but met with families on a few occasions. Met with the parents of a 16 year old girl who had died in a car crash. Arrangements were tough at first because how could they not be. We got the official stuff out of the way and then talked about what she (the deceased) would've wanted.
Ended up re-arranging the funeral home so that the lobby had crock pots of boiled peanuts and a lounge with the Lion King playing. Inside the main parlor was a purple-themed dance party. The pinnacle of the evening was the girl's mom leading everyone in doing "the wiggle." It was amazing and I am still floored by this family for being able to really celebrate their daughter's life in this way.
All In The Family
Long line of funeral directors. My great grandfather buried a lady that was over 8 feet [tall] and worked as a performer for the circus. He had to use an oversized display model for the casket and sat on the coffin for seats (horses back then). Buried the whole site with concrete to keep out grave robbers. Heard she was a really nice lady.
Welcome...To The Dance Of Death!
The one where they wanted some gentleman to dance with their coffin.
literally dance macabre
May He Rest Well In The Halls Of Valhalla
A "Viking" funeral.
Putting the ashes of the deceased out to sea in a little boat fashioned out of salt and covered with dry flowers/kindling. Fashioning biodegradable arrows with flaming tips. Everyone shot flaming arrows at the boat and it caught fire then dissolved into the sea.
(Now to be clear, Vikings never did any of this but Hollywood gave people ideas...)
Apparently I am not the first, but it was cool. Put the "fun" back in "funeral."
At Least He Allowed It
When my grandfather died, we had a request we were afraid was odd, but the funeral director told us he'd seen much, much stranger, so it was okay.
My grandfather was big into motorcycles. He had Harleys as long as I can remember, and even after he had his hip surgery and the doctor told him not to ride anymore, he retooled his bike into a trike so he could still ride.
So after he died, my uncle outfitted the trike with a special rig (very secure and very safe) so that we could take him to the cemetery in his coffin on the back of the motorcycle. My uncle drove the motorcycle while all the members of my grandfathers riding club circled him from the funeral parlor to the cemetery. It was bad-ss and awesome, and I know my grandfather would've loved it.
At Least They Didn't Sing, "Ding-Dong, The Witch Is Dead!"
As a funeral music planner and organist, I've worked with families on many funerals to honor "special requests."
One was a "Wizard of Oz"-themed funeral, where the deceased woman had loved the original movie and requested that music from it be used.
Pall bearers and friends of the family dressed in costumes of the principal characters as they entered the church, including dozens of Munchkins, Toto and the Witch.
There wasn't a dry eye after the eulogy when the soloist sang "Over the Rainbow," but many smiles as the coffin was carried out of the church en route to the cemetery as everyone sang "We're Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"
A Couple For The Road
Story one; a young guy died in a diving accident - his friends and family wanted him to be cremated in his diving suit. The crematorium guys told them the could not do this; but did not tell the reason. So the family decided to sneakily put his diving suit underneath his normal clothing, to give their loved one a proper farewell...
So, the corps goes into the oven, the neoprene suit catches fire and if you have ever seen a car tire fire you know what comes next. Picture the scene, a lovely bit of countryside with lush green fields, birds tweeting, elegant crematorium in the centre, with huge black billowing clouds of smoke coming out of the chimney, to be seen and smelled all over the area... woops
The next obvious one is the sneaking of bottles of expensive whisky in the pockets of the deceased, popular with the Indian population.
I won't have to tell you that the combination of an 800 degree C oven and a bottle of 40%VOL booze is an exciting one...
Best one was the story of the Eco-Friendly coffin. This crematorium had a system where the coffin during the ceremony would be lifted with two metal forks, the oven door opened, coffin gets inserted in the oven, door closes half way, forks retract and the coffin, pressing against the door stays in the oven; and finally the door closes completely.
Well, this system is perfect for wooden coffins but this guy was into his environment etc. and had an eco-friendly coffin made of some type of recycled cardboard. The forks lift, the oven door opens, the forks slide in, the coffin disintegrates instantaneously when it meets the intense heat of the oven, the door lowers half, the forks retreat, taking the body back outside of the oven.... Family and friends are distraught, staff try with broomsticks to push the corpse back in the oven, total chaos ensues.
Funeral Or A Party?
I've been in the funeral industry for over ten years now and most services I have arranged have been 'run-of-the-mill'. Most people seem to want similar things but one service will always stand out to me. A family asked us to play some hardcore gangster rap for their mother/grandmother at her service and we happily obliged. I can't quite remember the name of the song but it had heavy themes of murder, drug use and pretty foul language. Her service was then finished with a recital of the Lord's Prayer.
This lady was in her late eighties.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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