In the heat of the moment, we can say some of the cruelest things ever to someone we love.
It's a mortifying situation knowing you've hurt the person who thinks the world of you and the resulting guilt afterward can be too much to take.
But we've all been there.
And it's especially worse when regretful things are said to your kid.
Curious to hear examples of atrocious adult behavior, Redditor Few_Reading_4822 asked:
"What is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child?"
They say sticks and stones and all, but words can hurt and their effects can be traumatizing.
"Useless"
"that i'm f'king useless and can't do sh*t because I couldn't open a jar of tomato sauce for my mom at 1am."
– ianKenzo
Not Being Valued
"You're worthless."
– [deleted]
Divorced Parents
"In my experience, divorced parents that say stuff like :"
"Don't talk about that to your [other parent]" "Tell your [other parent] this" "Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you." "You see what [other parent] did ? I'm not saying you should hate them, but isn't bit f'ked up that they did that ?"
"It really screws with the kid's head. If you're ever going through a divorce and have children, please find a way to sort your sh*t with your former spouse without involving your children more than necessary."
– Loa_Ex_Machina
Parents have issues. But maybe they should keep them to themselves.
About Your Mother
"You know, my parents never divorced, but my aunt, who had an awful sibling inferiority complex, would always tell me these sorts of things about my mom and it’s kind of a similar dynamic. 'I bet your mom doesn’t love you because she always gave me and our sister a cold shoulder', 'your mom’s an awful woman,' 'I feel bad for you that she’s your mom,' etc.
"She was totally right about my mom, but still, keep it to yourself, you sad wino."
– Jmrwacko
Scene At A Pizza Parlor
"We're moving and you're not welcome"
"This is what my dad said to me while blackout drunk, after he took my sister's pizza that I made, ate it in front of me, and then threw the pizza at me after I asked him why he's like that and walked away. We were supposed to be moving to a new place the next couple weeks after this fight."
– LiaLovesCookies
Nowhere To Go
"My sister’s childhood best friend lived with us for several years because her mother made good on that very threat. Her parents were divorced and her father lived out of the area. Her mother decided she wanted to move and told the girl that her bother was moving too but she wasn’t welcome and could go live with her father instead."
"My sister’s friend didn’t want to move to were her father lived so she moved in with us and lived with us until she went away to college 5 years later."
– DeaddyRuxpin
You're Next
"i kicked your mom out and i can kick you out as well."
– Mandrake_m2
Some people just aren't fit to be parents.
Cases in point...
The Accused
"'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking of constructive criticism was the worst for me."
–Derpchieftain
Passive Parenting
"My mom laughed at me when I said that I most likely have a mental illness or a disorder. Then she asked me if my grades were okay and I said yes, then she replied that it's okay."
"I've been asking her to get me therapy for almost 7 years now :)"
– shyshyshy014
Siblings Pitted Against Each Other
"Constantly comparing you with your older siblings, and extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough."
– [deleted]
It's Not Okay
"Okay"
"Over and over again for years and years. Any accomplishment any trial passed any challenge won."
"Just 'okay.'"
– Evergladeleaf
Whether you've meant them or not, the negative things you've said to a child because you were frustrated over a fleeting moment, will never be fleeting in the mind of a child.
As many of these Redditors have shared, some scars last a lifetime.
Redditor GrouchyResolution974 wanted to know what the boys can't quite seem to grasp about the ladies, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s one thing you will never understand about women?"
Thankfully, I like boys, but's it's a fascinating topic. I'm listening.
Follicle Issues
Giphy"Based on the amount of hair I have seen in the bathroom, and that I somehow still keep finding in my clothes/bu**crack, how do you still have so much hair on your head?"
shartnado3
mark your territory?
"Are you planting hair ties and bobby pins everywhere to mark your territory?"
"This actually came up in a previous relationship when my girlfriend (at the time) found a 'foreign' bobby pin in one of the bathroom drawers, and freaked out about it until I casually explained that she is in fact not the first girlfriend I ever had and that I don't go through and scrub every square inch of my apartment after a breakup."
onamonapizza
Chaotic Sizes
"Why are women clothing sizes all over the place? One store a size 4 could be a 9 at a different store."
Zihark53
"We don't get it either, and we don't like it. The fashion industry refuses to standardize sizes, make bras for well endowed women at a reasonable price, or put useable pockets on our clothing. It's freaking MADDENING."
TattooedWenchkin
"This is a topic most of us rant about at LEAST twice a month, if not every time we go clothes shopping. My best friend says women’s sizing depends on your horoscope and your immediate proximity to a chicken."
queenlesbian99
Why so Small?
"Why are their pockets so small? Who started this?"
GBgabe13
"Pockets went away because 20th century fashion silhouettes were too slim for pockets, cost of installing pockets makes manufacturers not include them in designs, and women’s clothing is made of weaker fabrics that aren’t suitable for pockets. The purse industry thing is a myth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zSSE9pgC8"
butter_milk
Chatter
Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy"Starting a conversation, then continuing the conversation after walking into another room where you can't be heard."
therealfrankpenny
Women have super sonic hearing, it's a gift.
Bruh!
Jersey Shore Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"I'm going to McDonalds, want anything? No. *Proceeds to eat all of my fries, bruh."
california-whiskey
"'I'll just have some of yours.'"
"No I want all of mine, that's the point. I'll just get 2 and finish yours."
Idontdanceforfun
0 to 100!!
"How a woman can instantly tap into the rage (with 0 energy loss) they experienced from an argument we had 2 years ago, and I don't even remember it happening."
whatchlookinat
"It's because of the implications of the past rage. I think women tend to connect behaviors into a pattern more, rightly or wrongly. So X things is seen as a warning sign for something negative."
"Something happen twice is a pattern of behavior that indicates negative thing. I think men tend to view each incident as an isolated event. I don't think either one is right or wrong. I think you need both kinds of thinkers in a social group. A lot of women just tend to lean one way and a lot of men the other."
jittery_raccoon
Location?
"Where do you want to eat?!"
WhenAllElseFail
"As a girl, I absolutely hate having to choose. I will never turn down a place when my husband picks. If I actually want something I will tell him. It should be simple. I get stuck making dinner at home most days and make those decisions- don't make me also figure out food out of the house too."
nickygirl19
"Frankly this is a fair take that I’ve never considered."
flaming_carrot12
Hats off y’all...
"Why the f**k you would ever want to be pregnant. I watched my wife push out two kids with no drugs, and y’all have my undying respect. No freaking way I’d do that dude. Courage is defined as a woman who intentionally get pregnant, knowing what that actually entails and all the terrifying risks associated with it. Hats off y’all."
ToastFromTexas
Bad Company
"Toxic Positivity. Why are you always hang around people you don't like and pretend to be nice to them."
Way_2_Go_Donny
"It’s not necessarily a good habit for sure, but women's networks rely upon collaboration so if you burn bridges, women can do a lot of damage to you socially with a bit of well placed gossip. Sadly. Women’s weapons are psychological devices, vs mens which may be more overtly aggressive."
Dry_Representative_9
Googley Eyes
Want You Love GIF by NICOLE DADDONAGiphy"How they can look at men and find them attractive. I’m an overweight turd and somehow I’ve managed to find one that finds me attractive."
mrtouchybum
We thank these ladies for answering these questions so candidly, in hopes of catching some of the men up to speed.
Do you have any burning questions or things you'd like to answer? Let us know in the comments.
Redditor Pale_Armadillo_254 wanted to hear about the downsides of being men, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, What's the one thing you hate about being a man?"
I hate having to always be chivalrous.
Like... open the door for me sometime.
Not Now
Linda Lavin Men GIF by CBSGiphy"Sometimes my penis just won't listen to me."
Enderman958
"My boyfriend every time I cry about something."
virtualspecter
Smooth Surface
"Baldness. I miss having hair to run my fingers through. In my teen years I grew it out because I knew I wouldn't have it for the rest of my life. I miss playing with it, I miss the warmth, and the cooling (short hair actually acts as cooling fins compared to being bald and sweat just pouring off)."
"I miss the sense of it being blown in the wind, I miss the slight protection against bumps and scrapes (cabinets are the bane of my existence). When I had a girlfriend, one of the nice things she would do would be to drape her hair over my head so I could reimagine having hair."
Ok-disaster2022
Dumbfounded...
"Being completely invisible. It can be an advantage. When I want to I can go about my day in peace without interruptions from anybody. And sometimes you just want to slip into the background and be anonymous. But at the same time nobody asks you how you are doing, if you need help or acknowledge that you exist at all. If you have problems you just have to deal with it yourself and get over it."
"On the plus side you get good at problem solving, but it can be mentally tiring and demotivating at times. A lot of men are completely starved for positive attention. Not just from women, but any kind of positive attention at all. The last time I heard anything positive about my appearance it was from grandma. It was 15+ years ago and I am pretty sure she was drunk."
"I talked with my wife about this a few years ago and she found it very weird and sad. After that she has started to say something positive from time to time to the people she work with. The first time she did it was one of her closest coworkers. He was completely dumbfounded by it. He knew very well that it was just a friendly compliment, but he said he didn't really know how to handle it. Because he could not remember the last time something like that had happened."
Ashtar-the-Squid
Knowledge
"The automatic assumption that I just know about mechanics, carpentry, and DIY."
grudthak
"I notice this with my dad, everyone assumes he knows what he's talking about when it comes to mechanics or DIY stuff but he has no idea so he comes to ask me or my mum because he's utterly clueless but yet no matter how much he tells people, they still keep coming back to him."
Zdos123
Angles
pee GIFGiphy"When I go to pee and have it all lined up just for it to shoot out a 40 degree angle."
beauz44
"Even worse is when you get a split stream where you can't angle both of them into the bowl at the same time."
RareKrab
Peeing is such an obstacle.
Man Up
Sad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Many people in my life assume that I can just turn off my anxiety and depression at will to 'power through' because... manly man reasons."
therealjustin
"That’s one thing for me that I hate. I basically have to power through my negative feelings because everything will go wrong if I don’t. And then my friends and family wonder why I have issues being vulnerable."
TheMemeSaint177
Just Moms
"As a single dad, my son is generally excluded from things like park meet-ups or birthday parties because apparently, I don't fit in with the other parents. I've probably been told it a thousand times in a thousand variations. What they actually mean is I'm a man, and mums don't want me around because it's generally just mums."
wastelander78
Help Me
"Lack of emotional support. People always think you have some hidden agenda."
UniverseBear
"And when you voice frustration and upset, people take it as anger."
ChrisInBaltimore
"Try being 6'4 290lbs and having this issue. I've gotten written up at work because I was intimidating someone. For voicing my frustration."
Dimaethor
"This happened to me about 2 months back. Was getting pushed pushed pushed, regularly forced to work OT because the people above me couldn't manage deadlines properly. My voice raised a little expressing my frustration one day in the office, barely, and now management thinks I have an anger issue. Yet my boss yells at every thing. Time for a new job."
ArcaninesTail
In Copenhagen...
"About a month ago, I was walking down the street in Copenhagen, it was close to midnight, and I was the only one on the street. It was dark and a bit foggy. I was minding my own business, having my headphones on. I hadn't noticed, at some point, I was walking about 15 ft behind a young woman. She was clearly walking faster, slightly looking over her shoulder at me."
"I understood the situation, and stopped walking, pretending to look at windows, while she had time to walk out if sight. I understand why she probably was nervous, walking alone down a dark street, with and older guy walking behind her, and as such, gave her space to get some distance between us. I also hate, that, thats where we are."
Material_Ambition_95
Just Blah
Fashion Posing GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I guess men's fashion. I've had absolutely no luck finding anything I like, and all my current clothes are very plain."
Tylinator
Men, these things can certainly be frustrating. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
