The Most Toxic Things Parents Can Say To A Child
In the heat of the moment, we can say some of the cruelest things ever to someone we love.
It's a mortifying situation knowing you've hurt the person who thinks the world of you and the resulting guilt afterward can be too much to take.
But we've all been there.
And it's especially worse when regretful things are said to your kid.
Curious to hear examples of atrocious adult behavior, Redditor Few_Reading_4822 asked:
"What is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child?"
They say sticks and stones and all, but words can hurt and their effects can be traumatizing.
"that i'm f'king useless and can't do sh*t because I couldn't open a jar of tomato sauce for my mom at 1am."
Not Being Valued
"In my experience, divorced parents that say stuff like :"
"Don't talk about that to your [other parent]" "Tell your [other parent] this" "Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you." "You see what [other parent] did ? I'm not saying you should hate them, but isn't bit f'ked up that they did that ?"
"It really screws with the kid's head. If you're ever going through a divorce and have children, please find a way to sort your sh*t with your former spouse without involving your children more than necessary."
Parents have issues. But maybe they should keep them to themselves.
About Your Mother
"You know, my parents never divorced, but my aunt, who had an awful sibling inferiority complex, would always tell me these sorts of things about my mom and it’s kind of a similar dynamic. 'I bet your mom doesn’t love you because she always gave me and our sister a cold shoulder', 'your mom’s an awful woman,' 'I feel bad for you that she’s your mom,' etc.
"She was totally right about my mom, but still, keep it to yourself, you sad wino."
Scene At A Pizza Parlor
"We're moving and you're not welcome"
"This is what my dad said to me while blackout drunk, after he took my sister's pizza that I made, ate it in front of me, and then threw the pizza at me after I asked him why he's like that and walked away. We were supposed to be moving to a new place the next couple weeks after this fight."
Nowhere To Go
"My sister’s childhood best friend lived with us for several years because her mother made good on that very threat. Her parents were divorced and her father lived out of the area. Her mother decided she wanted to move and told the girl that her bother was moving too but she wasn’t welcome and could go live with her father instead."
"My sister’s friend didn’t want to move to were her father lived so she moved in with us and lived with us until she went away to college 5 years later."
"i kicked your mom out and i can kick you out as well."
Some people just aren't fit to be parents.
Cases in point...
"'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking of constructive criticism was the worst for me."
"My mom laughed at me when I said that I most likely have a mental illness or a disorder. Then she asked me if my grades were okay and I said yes, then she replied that it's okay."
"I've been asking her to get me therapy for almost 7 years now :)"
Siblings Pitted Against Each Other
"Constantly comparing you with your older siblings, and extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough."
It's Not Okay
"Over and over again for years and years. Any accomplishment any trial passed any challenge won."
Whether you've meant them or not, the negative things you've said to a child because you were frustrated over a fleeting moment, will never be fleeting in the mind of a child.
As many of these Redditors have shared, some scars last a lifetime.
Men Break Down Which Things They Will Never Quite Understand About Women
Men and women.
What a conundrum.
Or mess, whatever description makes more sense.
I don't believe this battle of wills and thoughts will be answered in this lifetime.
But maybe some headway can be made with a few honest thoughts.
Some guys out there really want to "get it," ladies.
And by "get it," they mean answers to questions and logic that escapes them.
So how can you help?
Redditor GrouchyResolution974 wanted to know what the boys can't quite seem to grasp about the ladies, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s one thing you will never understand about women?"
Thankfully, I like boys, but's it's a fascinating topic. I'm listening.
"Based on the amount of hair I have seen in the bathroom, and that I somehow still keep finding in my clothes/bu**crack, how do you still have so much hair on your head?"
mark your territory?
"Are you planting hair ties and bobby pins everywhere to mark your territory?"
"This actually came up in a previous relationship when my girlfriend (at the time) found a 'foreign' bobby pin in one of the bathroom drawers, and freaked out about it until I casually explained that she is in fact not the first girlfriend I ever had and that I don't go through and scrub every square inch of my apartment after a breakup."
"Why are women clothing sizes all over the place? One store a size 4 could be a 9 at a different store."
"We don't get it either, and we don't like it. The fashion industry refuses to standardize sizes, make bras for well endowed women at a reasonable price, or put useable pockets on our clothing. It's freaking MADDENING."
"This is a topic most of us rant about at LEAST twice a month, if not every time we go clothes shopping. My best friend says women’s sizing depends on your horoscope and your immediate proximity to a chicken."
Why so Small?
"Why are their pockets so small? Who started this?"
"Pockets went away because 20th century fashion silhouettes were too slim for pockets, cost of installing pockets makes manufacturers not include them in designs, and women’s clothing is made of weaker fabrics that aren’t suitable for pockets. The purse industry thing is a myth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zSSE9pgC8"
ChatterMean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy
"Starting a conversation, then continuing the conversation after walking into another room where you can't be heard."
Women have super sonic hearing, it's a gift.
Bruh!Jersey Shore Dancing GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy
"I'm going to McDonalds, want anything? No. *Proceeds to eat all of my fries, bruh."
"'I'll just have some of yours.'"
"No I want all of mine, that's the point. I'll just get 2 and finish yours."
0 to 100!!
"How a woman can instantly tap into the rage (with 0 energy loss) they experienced from an argument we had 2 years ago, and I don't even remember it happening."
"It's because of the implications of the past rage. I think women tend to connect behaviors into a pattern more, rightly or wrongly. So X things is seen as a warning sign for something negative."
"Something happen twice is a pattern of behavior that indicates negative thing. I think men tend to view each incident as an isolated event. I don't think either one is right or wrong. I think you need both kinds of thinkers in a social group. A lot of women just tend to lean one way and a lot of men the other."
"Where do you want to eat?!"
"As a girl, I absolutely hate having to choose. I will never turn down a place when my husband picks. If I actually want something I will tell him. It should be simple. I get stuck making dinner at home most days and make those decisions- don't make me also figure out food out of the house too."
"Frankly this is a fair take that I’ve never considered."
Hats off y’all...
"Why the f**k you would ever want to be pregnant. I watched my wife push out two kids with no drugs, and y’all have my undying respect. No freaking way I’d do that dude. Courage is defined as a woman who intentionally get pregnant, knowing what that actually entails and all the terrifying risks associated with it. Hats off y’all."
"Toxic Positivity. Why are you always hang around people you don't like and pretend to be nice to them."
"It’s not necessarily a good habit for sure, but women's networks rely upon collaboration so if you burn bridges, women can do a lot of damage to you socially with a bit of well placed gossip. Sadly. Women’s weapons are psychological devices, vs mens which may be more overtly aggressive."
Googley EyesWant You Love GIF by NICOLE DADDONAGiphy
"How they can look at men and find them attractive. I’m an overweight turd and somehow I’ve managed to find one that finds me attractive."
We thank these ladies for answering these questions so candidly, in hopes of catching some of the men up to speed.
Do you have any burning questions or things you'd like to answer? Let us know in the comments.
Guys Confess What They Hate Most About Being A Man
Being a man can be a mess.
It's not all fun and games.
Of course, being a lady isn't fun 24/7 either, but let's talk about the boys.
There are problems and issues galore.
But no one talks about it enough.
Well, time for your Ted Talk.
Redditor Pale_Armadillo_254 wanted to hear about the downsides of being men, they asked:
"Men of Reddit, What's the one thing you hate about being a man?"
I hate having to always be chivalrous.
Like... open the door for me sometime.
Not NowLinda Lavin Men GIF by CBSGiphy
"Sometimes my penis just won't listen to me."
"My boyfriend every time I cry about something."
"Baldness. I miss having hair to run my fingers through. In my teen years I grew it out because I knew I wouldn't have it for the rest of my life. I miss playing with it, I miss the warmth, and the cooling (short hair actually acts as cooling fins compared to being bald and sweat just pouring off)."
"I miss the sense of it being blown in the wind, I miss the slight protection against bumps and scrapes (cabinets are the bane of my existence). When I had a girlfriend, one of the nice things she would do would be to drape her hair over my head so I could reimagine having hair."
"Being completely invisible. It can be an advantage. When I want to I can go about my day in peace without interruptions from anybody. And sometimes you just want to slip into the background and be anonymous. But at the same time nobody asks you how you are doing, if you need help or acknowledge that you exist at all. If you have problems you just have to deal with it yourself and get over it."
"On the plus side you get good at problem solving, but it can be mentally tiring and demotivating at times. A lot of men are completely starved for positive attention. Not just from women, but any kind of positive attention at all. The last time I heard anything positive about my appearance it was from grandma. It was 15+ years ago and I am pretty sure she was drunk."
"I talked with my wife about this a few years ago and she found it very weird and sad. After that she has started to say something positive from time to time to the people she work with. The first time she did it was one of her closest coworkers. He was completely dumbfounded by it. He knew very well that it was just a friendly compliment, but he said he didn't really know how to handle it. Because he could not remember the last time something like that had happened."
"The automatic assumption that I just know about mechanics, carpentry, and DIY."
"I notice this with my dad, everyone assumes he knows what he's talking about when it comes to mechanics or DIY stuff but he has no idea so he comes to ask me or my mum because he's utterly clueless but yet no matter how much he tells people, they still keep coming back to him."
"When I go to pee and have it all lined up just for it to shoot out a 40 degree angle."
"Even worse is when you get a split stream where you can't angle both of them into the bowl at the same time."
Peeing is such an obstacle.
Man UpSad Season 2 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Many people in my life assume that I can just turn off my anxiety and depression at will to 'power through' because... manly man reasons."
"That’s one thing for me that I hate. I basically have to power through my negative feelings because everything will go wrong if I don’t. And then my friends and family wonder why I have issues being vulnerable."
"As a single dad, my son is generally excluded from things like park meet-ups or birthday parties because apparently, I don't fit in with the other parents. I've probably been told it a thousand times in a thousand variations. What they actually mean is I'm a man, and mums don't want me around because it's generally just mums."
"Lack of emotional support. People always think you have some hidden agenda."
"And when you voice frustration and upset, people take it as anger."
"Try being 6'4 290lbs and having this issue. I've gotten written up at work because I was intimidating someone. For voicing my frustration."
"This happened to me about 2 months back. Was getting pushed pushed pushed, regularly forced to work OT because the people above me couldn't manage deadlines properly. My voice raised a little expressing my frustration one day in the office, barely, and now management thinks I have an anger issue. Yet my boss yells at every thing. Time for a new job."
"About a month ago, I was walking down the street in Copenhagen, it was close to midnight, and I was the only one on the street. It was dark and a bit foggy. I was minding my own business, having my headphones on. I hadn't noticed, at some point, I was walking about 15 ft behind a young woman. She was clearly walking faster, slightly looking over her shoulder at me."
"I understood the situation, and stopped walking, pretending to look at windows, while she had time to walk out if sight. I understand why she probably was nervous, walking alone down a dark street, with and older guy walking behind her, and as such, gave her space to get some distance between us. I also hate, that, thats where we are."
Just BlahFashion Posing GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"I guess men's fashion. I've had absolutely no luck finding anything I like, and all my current clothes are very plain."
Men, these things can certainly be frustrating. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
People Share The Best Examples Of 'It Can't Be That Easy' But It Really Was
That pile of laundry has been sitting there, waiting to be folded and put away.
Those emails are waiting to be answered.
A form is waiting to be filled out.
We've all done the thing where we dread and put off something, only to discover later that completing it wasn't that big of a deal.
Redditor UnoAboveAll asked:
"What was your 'it can’t be that easy / it was that easy' moment in your life?"
"I Lived in Jersey and a friend invited me to a commercial audition at an NYC bar. I went because of the bar."
"I auditioned after two beers and left thinking it was a waste of time."
"A month later, I get a call that they want to use me for the commercial. The director was the guy who directed the original 'Space Jam.'"
"I got lines and ended up in two of their commercials and got a 40k payday where I thought someone made a clerical error. Started my acting career and am now a writer/director/flight attendant."
"Fixing clogged drains."
"Started out because my sink drain plug wouldn't stay up. Poked around under the sink and found the pop-up rod had rusted completely through and broken. Cost me $5 for a new one at the plumbing supply store next to where I worked at the time. Took five minutes to figure out how to swap, and now I know how sink and shower drains come apart, which makes unclogging them simple."
"Maybe it's just me, but in my brain, it seemed like that was something I'd have to call a plumber to come to unclog, but it's all remarkably simple."
Small Claims Court
"Suing someone in Small Claims. It was surprisingly easy because my case was rock solid and I had a professionally printed document of evidence, witness statements, and precise records sent over to the court while the Defendant did literally nothing but send unlabeled loose printouts of my Facebook page as her so-called evidence."
"It was a very quick judgment for the plaintiff!"
"Got a salary request when applying for a job, accidentally wrote double what I meant to write since the number keys were right next to each other. They accepted anyway."
Light and Sound
"Worked on an almost five-million dollar lighting rig for a concert as a junior guy on the job. We get it all plugged in and patched but none of it would turn on. All the guys were freaking out trying to figure out why. The team collectively had about 150 years of experience."
"No one checked to see if the generators were turned on."
"I was like no way this is why but I'll just go check if the generators are good. Flipped stuff on and voila."
"Found a 60” tv by the dumpster. Plugged it in, didn’t turn on. Looked up common problems with the model number, bought a part on eBay for $20, replaced the part, and had a huge TV."
You Can't Win If You Don't Apply
"In college, the professor advertised an internship and wrote the info on the board."
"Out of a class of 150 students, I was the only one to apply and I fulfilled my internship requirement for graduation."
"All the students pretty much bombed a networking final. The teacher said we could retake it but we would be alone (no group). Which worked out perfectly for me; they wouldn't get in my way and I wouldn't have to coordinate them."
"I was also the only person who showed up to retake and brought my final grade up to a 90."
"Tying shoe laces."
"When I was a kid, no one ever managed to teach me how to tie my shoes. I remember never being able to get that last step that ties it all together and in general, I suck with knots. I would have been garbage in the boy scouts. I got into my early 20's relying mostly on velcro shoes."
"But one day, I sat down with a pair of new shoes, determined to figure it out. I put one on and tied it correctly on the first try. I just sat there dumbfounded for a few minutes, wondering how it had been that easy all along."
"I was recently looking for an apartment and rent in my city, like most cities currently, is outrageous."
"So after three days of looking, I found this two-bedroom apartment with a price that normally would get you a roach-infested one-bedroom or studio s**thole in a bad part of town."
"But these apartments look nice, they're in a good part of town, the reviews online are all positive, I can't figure out the catch."
"Then I see there is a year-long wait list for this place, but I decided to go to the leasing office and after talking to the property manager, I get bumped to the top of the list for an apartment that becomes available next month."
"I keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. Most people spend months looking for places in my city and they'd be paying a third more than I'm paying at a minimum for a similar place. I looked for three days and found this place but I think I just got lucky and it was just that easy."
"Actually doing the chore you put off for a few days."
"I never slept well, ever."
"There’s an over-the-counter magnesium supplement called 'Calm.' I drink a cup every night and sleep like a hibernating bear."
"It was that easy."
"I had a loose hinge on my door. It kind of drove me crazy for three years, but I had no idea how to fix the wood that had been stripped."
"Then I found a product on Amazon for $10 where you shove on a sleeve, break it off and then screw in the new screws. Bought two new hinges that don’t squeak."
"Took about 10 minutes and cost $20 and it’s no longer a problem!"
Finding the Perfect Job
"I've hated every job I've ever had. At 18 I joined the military for six years... that sucked the whole time, then went into customer service at Walmart, and they were a bunch of a**holes to everyone. Tried security and they were just degrading."
"Job after job doing what I thought was the right thing. I decided to apply for a local HVAC company just working call center, nothing big, I think there's a total of nine of us on phones. Honestly, it's the best job I've ever had, we all get along, spend hours a day on our group chat sharing memes, and our management has one on one meetings every two weeks with the goal of 'this meeting is not work-related but we want to know just how you're doing, how life's treating you, what do you need?'"
"There's constant communication about expectations and how we can better meet them and how they can help us perform better. The majority of the company's profits are used to better employee lives (I get monthly commission and residuals, and $30 a month healthcare with BCBS) along with monthly potlucks, paid lunches, and competitive pay starting at $17 an hour."
"I haven't seen any turnover... literally none, my position was only hiring because too many people got promoted."
"Self-improvement and reflection. Stopped looking at outside factors in my life and started looking at what I could control. Weight, time, who I spent time with, etc. I didn't need to change my whole life in one day. I needed to make small progress."
"Spending one day less a week on gaming and one day a week on improving myself is better than not improving at all. Allowing myself to fail *with intent* to improve is so much easier now that I don't spend time with negative people who demand perfection."
This particular group of Redditors proved that not only is it possible to get ahead and to accomplish something, but it can be fairly easy to do so.
People Break Down The Absolute Best Examples Of 'Welp, Society Is F**ked'
No matter how positive each of us may try to be, there are moments when it's easy to feel hopeless about how the world looks.
Some have become fairly certain of society's demise because of a specific event they witnessed.
Redditor FlyingStudio22 asked:
"What's the best example of 'Welp, society is f**ked'?"
Work Comes First
"When I lost three of my closest family members to a drunk driver accident, and I couldn’t get time off work to plan and go to their funeral because, 'you need to find coverage and if nobody will cover for you… you have to come in!' Yeah, none of my coworkers wanted to cover my shift. This happened very recently also."
"After I posted this, a lot of people asked if I went to the funeral. I did, and I’m so happy I did. It really helped me find some closure and take some time with my family. I’m going to request time off to see the motherf**ker who hit them get sentenced, and if they won’t let me go… I simply won’t show up again.)"
"(I also politely told my manager to f**k off and that he can fire me if he isn’t happy with my decision to attend… still not fired.)"
The Story That Should Have Been
"I saw a news story of a high school student paying off a teacher's student loans."
Student Loan Problems
"There was a game show where the contestants played for the show paying off their student loans. If that doesn’t scream, 'we’re f**ked,' I don’t know what does."
Poor Medical Care
"Pretty much any ER in any major city. Spend a few days in one and see just how incredibly f**ked up a significant percentage of the population is."
"I think about my friends, family, and colleagues, and I cannot name a single person who does not have a malady or six. Depression, anxiety, stomach ulcers, heart issues, etc."
The Price to Pay
"How people with illnesses have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars just to survive. I swear, it's so messed up. 'Oop, you don’t have enough money for a heart transplant that will save your life?… well, not our problem, say goodbye to your family.'"
"Like, if you don’t have money, they will let you die. Literally. And then they’ll be like, 'There's nothing we can do about it, sorry.' YES, YES THERE IS. This is someone’s life and you’re gonna let them die because they don’t have enough money? It really shows you how people don’t care about other people's lives."
The Rent is Too Darn High
"Stagnation of wages since the 1980s combined with the increased cost of living in the 400% mark in key areas such as rent and food."
"Future's pretty bleak."
"2/3 of wealth created throughout the pandemic went to the top 1%. Income inequality is going to be the downfall of civilization eventually."
"People mindlessly believing propaganda that is easily disproven by a ten-second google search."
"The fish fillets are getting smaller, but staying the same price."
"If ocean ecosystems are no longer able to sustain consistently harvesting large fish, that shows deep problems that cannot be covered up. Couple that with the cost of the poorest, staple foods increasing while wages stagnate, and you have a perfect recipe for societal collapse."
"People are kept docile by all governments with bread and circuses. Well alas, the bread is getting more expensive and has for decades, while the circuses kinda suck and are rapidly going bankrupt."
"I have been recently re-reading Asimov's 'Foundation,' and his discussion of how powerful empires collapse through a gradual shrinking of ambition and will until all that the smartest are trying (and failing) to achieve is the maintenance of the status quo was rather disconcerting. Sound familiar to anyone else working in the public sector?"
"When I saw how everyone reacted to the pandemic outbreak. Turning health issues into political ones. That basically cinched it."
Lack of Priorities
"I know the exact moment I realized this. It was during the republican debate in 2015. I forget who made a comment about trump's hand size in a suggestive manner, but Trump responded by saying there's no problem there."
"Think about that, during a presidential debate, arguing about literal d**k size, and no one batting an eye. That's when I knew."
"I knew when they booed McCain simply for saying Obama was a decent family man."
"The fact that human rights are 'negotiable.'"
All of the Above
"gestures broadly at everything all the time"
Many of the points made here are deeply troubling, and it makes sense that some people would view them as signs for societal doom.
Unfortunately, it's all about perspective, and what may be perceived as terrible today may seem slight in comparison tomorrow.