The Most Toxic Things Parents Can Say To A Child
In the heat of the moment, we can say some of the cruelest things ever to someone we love.
It's a mortifying situation knowing you've hurt the person who thinks the world of you and the resulting guilt afterward can be too much to take.
But we've all been there.
And it's especially worse when regretful things are said to your kid.
Curious to hear examples of atrocious adult behavior, Redditor Few_Reading_4822 asked:
"What is the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child?"
They say sticks and stones and all, but words can hurt and their effects can be traumatizing.
"that i'm f'king useless and can't do sh*t because I couldn't open a jar of tomato sauce for my mom at 1am."
Not Being Valued
"In my experience, divorced parents that say stuff like :"
"Don't talk about that to your [other parent]" "Tell your [other parent] this" "Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you." "You see what [other parent] did ? I'm not saying you should hate them, but isn't bit f'ked up that they did that ?"
"It really screws with the kid's head. If you're ever going through a divorce and have children, please find a way to sort your sh*t with your former spouse without involving your children more than necessary."
Parents have issues. But maybe they should keep them to themselves.
About Your Mother
"You know, my parents never divorced, but my aunt, who had an awful sibling inferiority complex, would always tell me these sorts of things about my mom and it’s kind of a similar dynamic. 'I bet your mom doesn’t love you because she always gave me and our sister a cold shoulder', 'your mom’s an awful woman,' 'I feel bad for you that she’s your mom,' etc.
"She was totally right about my mom, but still, keep it to yourself, you sad wino."
Scene At A Pizza Parlor
"We're moving and you're not welcome"
"This is what my dad said to me while blackout drunk, after he took my sister's pizza that I made, ate it in front of me, and then threw the pizza at me after I asked him why he's like that and walked away. We were supposed to be moving to a new place the next couple weeks after this fight."
Nowhere To Go
"My sister’s childhood best friend lived with us for several years because her mother made good on that very threat. Her parents were divorced and her father lived out of the area. Her mother decided she wanted to move and told the girl that her bother was moving too but she wasn’t welcome and could go live with her father instead."
"My sister’s friend didn’t want to move to were her father lived so she moved in with us and lived with us until she went away to college 5 years later."
"i kicked your mom out and i can kick you out as well."
Some people just aren't fit to be parents.
Cases in point...
"'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking of constructive criticism was the worst for me."
"My mom laughed at me when I said that I most likely have a mental illness or a disorder. Then she asked me if my grades were okay and I said yes, then she replied that it's okay."
"I've been asking her to get me therapy for almost 7 years now :)"
Siblings Pitted Against Each Other
"Constantly comparing you with your older siblings, and extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough."
It's Not Okay
"Over and over again for years and years. Any accomplishment any trial passed any challenge won."
Whether you've meant them or not, the negative things you've said to a child because you were frustrated over a fleeting moment, will never be fleeting in the mind of a child.
As many of these Redditors have shared, some scars last a lifetime.
People Break Down How They'd React If They Couldn't Have Sex Anymore Due To Physical Or Mental Issues
Sex isn't everything.
But it can be something many of us take for granted.
But when it's gone... you notice.
Some move on, and some grieve.
And for many Redditors, this situation wasn't a hypotherical.
Redditor JeffLaRue wanted to hear how people would react without the possibility of sex, so they asked:
"What would you do if you couldn't have sex anymore due to a physical or mental issue?"
I personally wouldn't be thrilled.
But I'd find a way.
The New MeSad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"I do actually (endometriosis). It's sometimes really sad, but you do other things with your partner, and try again to see if there's any improvement."
"I used to have a high sex drive, but due to the pain not anymore. My partner understands that and his one preoccupation is my health."
Likely be ok?
"My husband has stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He’s ok and will likely be ok but chemo/immunotherapy f**ked with his mojo. I’m good. We’ve found our intimacy in other ways like coffee together and just laughing in our car, our tv shows, etc.. I’d much rather have him with me than sex."
"Let's take a moment to appreciate that 'likely be ok' and 'stage 4 metastatic melanoma' can coexist in one sentence. Science, man."
"I was hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. I no longer have any sensation down there. Sucks, really. In some ways I think it is easier to get over not being able to walk, than losing sexual function. Unfortunately there isn't anything to do about it."
"I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I agree with you. My vehicle was rear-ended at a red light. I learned to walk again (so I’m doing amazing really!) but I can’t feel most of my bits, peeing is weird or doesn’t work, same with poo, one foot is constantly weakening, numbness, pins and needles, bolts of pain, constant throbbing, changes with the weather and activities, and really just keeps getting worse. Can’t work a full time job anymore. But the thing that’s the hardest to deal with is the neurogenic sexual dysfunction. It’s difficult as hell."
"The real question is, what would your SO do? We have been in this exact predicament for over 3 years now... It's like living with your best friend but every single day you watch a piece of your relationship die."
"Sorry for the over sharing. This one hits hard. Prostate cancer under 50 is considered rare."
"Although if caught early its very treatable. What they don't tell you is the cancer is transplanted into your relationship. For over 30yrs we had an amazing intimate sexual chemistry that was built around if one of us isn't into it then we won't do it. No fake orgasms, no birthday sex, no wearing each other down or giving in... just raw vulnerability and trust. All gone!"
MehAwkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I would definitely miss it, but I'd manage."
Some people really don't care but did address the lack of intimacy.
A Mental NoNo No No GIFGiphy
"Honestly I’d be devastated. Not being able to connect in that intimate way with my partner would leave a huge gap in my mental well being. I know it’s not technically essential but it’s a massive part of a relationship and without that I would feel incompetent as a partner."
"I'd try other things to feel intimate with my partner. Like naked, but not sexual, snuggling. Or start up a hobby night where we spend quality time together. Maybe buy them a quality toy so they don't feel like they're missing out because of me 🤷♀️ But other than that? I'd just continue getting on with life!"
"Been dealing with an inflammatory skin issue that has prevented me from having sex with my partner for the last two months. It’s been a struggle, feels like my sex life is in shambles, and it’s driven me back into depression."
"Luckily my partner is incredibly understanding, but it has put a huge strain on the relationship. Trying to explore other forms of intimacy but she has a hard time receiving touch without it being a mutual experience.
"If this becomes a long term problem I don’t know how I’ll cope."
"I'm going to buck the trend and say that my life would be significantly degraded. I had a fairly low sex drive through periods of my life due to mental illness. Now, I am at my sexual peak and it's as if I'm seeing in color for the first time: I know how my body works, and what it likes, and I feel powerful and sexy."
"At this point, my sense of self and identity are linked to my ability to have sex. I felt very ugly and like I was only a mother for a while, and I feel much more like a woman and a normal person now. I could live without sex... but it would take me building myself up all over again and accepting who I am without that."
"It would probably devastate me, honestly. I was super overweight had very poor luck with women in my teens and twenties. I took control of my life, lost over 100 pounds and met my wife at 28. 8 years later we still have a very healthy sex life. She would understand but I feel as though it would bring up the feeling of inadequacy again."
Sex isn't everything, but it's important to many.
Hopefully everyone finds peace if this is a life issue being faced.
Men Address Things Women Might Not Realize Are Sexual Harassment
When it comes to sexual harassment, everybody needs to be on the same page.
The focus has predominantly (and rightfully so) been on educating men.
But the men of Reddit wanted to discuss some of their experiences that some people may not realize are harassment.
Redditor Babydolltoes544 asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s something women don’t realize is sexual harassment?"
First up, let's listen to our Kindergarten teachers and keep our hands to ourselves.
Gloves OnLong Hair GIF by Slingshot DakotaGiphy
"As a guy just because I have long hair doesn’t mean you can walk up to me and run your hands through it when I don’t even know you."
"Definitely a long hair or curly hair problem. actually why do people think it’s cool to touch your hair, beard, muscles, pregnant belly etc?? personal space everyone!"
Leave me Alone
"Some women once tried to take off some of my clothes in a club (without me showing interest in them at all). When I told them to «f**k off» after a while, they got angry at me. Never been so confused."
"Edit: I almost forgot lmao. They talked to one of the guards at the club right after. "
"Don’t know what they said, but as they talked to him, they pointed at me. (Maybe they said that I was the bad guy or something). When I saw that, I just left. I figured the guard would trust the two girls more than me. Club was boring anyways."
Fix the Damage
"I had a drunk young lady rip my button up shirt off in a bar on a dance floor then proceed to cup my d**k. I was mad so told her and her friends to f**k off after I got my shirt back from them, which had all the buttons torn off except the bottom 2. That was super annoying but I was just going to deal with it until I was asked to leave by the bouncers for yelling at women and not buttoning up my shirt."
"Another group of women approached me and said they had the whole thing on video which I then sent to the bars management and got a $200 gift certificate for it. In hindsight, I probably should have just taken it to the police. I never felt in danger or scared for my safety but it was totally inappropriate and if I did that I would be in jail."
You're an Adult
"I was working at a birthday party in a bar once, and a really drunk 40 year old woman decided to just walk behind the counter and slip a banknote into my shirt. She then started to rub around my chest like some sort of massage I guess? It was really weird, I just stood there confused waiting for it to end."
"Her husband was watching the whole time and didn't seem to happy about the whole thing. But nobody really seemed to care or just laughed about it. If I as a 40 year old man had done that to a 17 year old girl working at a bar, I would've gotten one hell of a lawsuit."
Creepy GrannySam Heughan Dancing GIF by Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and GrahamGiphy
"Every wedding and funeral I have ever been to as a Scotsman, there are a gaggle of horny grannies who at every opportunity try to get a look under the kilt."
Not okay, grannies. Let's respect cultural tradition and healthy boundaries.
She gets it now...
"I’ve been into weightlifting most of my adult life. As a result, my arms and chest are noticeable. I’m not like a body builder or anything but I’ve got big arms and a protruding chest. Women think that they can just grab on my arms and rub my chest without permission or warning. I think that they think it’s okay because they compliment me afterwards. It makes me uncomfortable."
"My fiancée never really took me serious about it until at a work party one of my female coworkers basically groped my arms in front of her and it made her jealous. She gets it now."
"The same exact crap that applies to sexual harassment against women. I had a girl I used to work with slap my a**, grab my crotch and try to rub her breasts against me. When I took it to HR nothing was done about it. A week later I got written up because she lied and told HR I had verbally abused her."
Where is She?
"My partner was at a truck stop waiting for his food when some lady came up and grabbed his junk. Just walked up and shoved her hand down his pants. He pushed her off, said he was taken and told her to f**k off. She reached for him again and said 'Well she isn't here now, is she?'"
"It disgusts me people are like this, regardless of gender. It's even worse that women aren't held as accountable as men are."
This is Odd...
"My partner went to a job interview and the older woman kept touching him as they talked. Like on his arm or hand. I told him that’s not okay and he doesn’t have to take that."
"He said that he didn’t want to make a scene because she might accuse him of harassment in retaliation and she had his information."
"And I realized men put up with harassment out of fear too. Different reasons, but it sucks for both genders."
Excuse You?Excuse Me Reaction GIF by BounceGiphy
"I once had some chick walk past me and squeeze my junk and another one slap my butt and I'm pretty sure that neither of them knew that that was sexual harassment. (Edit: Both of these instances were on two separate occasions)."
Sexual harassment is still all too prevalent. We have a long way to go.
Do you have any experiences to share? Let us know in the comments.
The Most Annoying Myths People Still Cling To
There's an endless supply of knowledge in the world, and we're bound to get some of it wrong.
But it sure is annoying when a person continues to believe false knowledge after it's been disproven.
Already annoyed, Redditor Aarunascut asked:
"What's an annoying myth that people still cling to?"
"That having hobbies as an adult is only worth it if it brings in money. No, I love my meaningless and expensive hobbies, even if they don't bring in any income."
Joy Is Worthy
"I've been interrogated about why I'm a trained swordfighter."
"Because it's fun, you dolt!"
"I'm not going to try to rationalize about how it's an effective way to stay in shape or how sword fighting trains skills used in practical self-defense, or how studying the manuals is an intellectually-stimulating academic pursuit."
"I'm just an adult who likes playing with swords."
History Hidden Under Paint
"Ancient Greek and Roman sculpture and architecture being pure white marble."
"They are now. That's because art dealers long, long ago washed the paint off."
Is MSG Really So Bad?
"My grandmother saw me adding MSG to a curry and the look on her face was like I was pouring rat poison into the pot."
"Meanwhile, she has basically shaved her diet down to only food with very high natural MSG content. Miso soup with kelp seasoned with soy sauce is her go-to meal when she doesn't want to think about it, her backup is a soup made from dried fish, tomatoes, gochujang, and kimchi."
"Inconsistent, I tell you."
Scientific Fact or Idiom?
"The saying that, 'Lightning NEVER strikes twice in the same place.'"
Wait an Hour to Swim after Eating
"I was on a swim team as a kid, and if I ate and swam too close together, I most definitely got abdominal cramps."
"I always attributed it to the intensity of swimming because when this happened, this was with full-on swimming (either competing or training), and properly swimming uses basically every skeletal muscle you have."
"Eating and hopping in the pool for a float or to screw around with friends never gave me trouble."
When Life Gives You Lemons
"Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!"
"I don’t want your d**n lemons, what the h**l am I supposed to do with these?"
"Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
Buns Bunny vs. the Optometrist
"That carrots give you good eyesight."
"But have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?? No?? It works! (sarcastic comment)"
"The alpha theory for wolves, people still believe it even though the person who made the theory took it back. The ‘alpha’ of wolves is actually just the pack’s parents, and the pack is usually made up of their offspring."
"But this is a useful myth. Because the people who continue to espouse it and live their life by 'I'm an alpha' ideology gives a demonstrable reason to avoid them."
10% of Our Brain
"I hate this one. Our brain is a massive, fuel-guzzling organ that's full of folds and wrinkles to increase its size. To make an organ that big and then only use 10% is stupid."
"That you need to wait 24 hours to file a missing person’s report."
"Yeah, in fact, it's the exact opposite, the first 24 hours are the most important."
"An undercover cop has to tell you they're a cop if you ask them."
"My grandma told me not to cross my legs because the baby wouldn't have room. I told her the baby was making me uncomfortable and I was going to move into whatever position I needed and that is what is best for both of us."
"My sister was even more annoying. She thought she had better medical knowledge because of nursing school, but she really didn't."
"We were at a friend's wedding and I ordered my steak medium well (you aren't supposed to have it medium) and it came medium. The risk is super low. I decided that sending it back to the kitchen would make it more likely to have an issue than eating it as is."
"She said something. I am diabetic. I didn't eat the wedding cake, but I had a chocolate-covered strawberry. A single chocolate-covered strawberry. She was asking if I really should be eating that."
"Yes. I should. The less than 20g of carbs were within my limits, and I was moving around all day and I needed the sugar!"
"To be fair, my family isn't in my life anymore because they are abusive and toxic people. So many pregnancy myths are about control. Pregnant women already have such a loss of control and agency. It is so dehumanizing."
"S**tty people use it to erode the confidence of first-time parents. They want to seem wise and relied on others for advice. They want you to think they know more than you and get you to trust them over yourself."
What Free Lifetime Pass?
"If you give birth in Disney World, YOU DO NOT GET A FREE LIFETIME PASS."
"I have issues with the unassisted birth crowd."
"They say, 'Your body was made for this. Women gave birth for thousands of years without hospitals.'"
"Yeah, and the mortality rates for both birthing parents and babies were way higher than it is now. They also typically had midwives and doulas with them, not this unassisted bulls**t."
The world is constantly overflowing with information, and we're bound to get some of it wrong some of the time.
But pieces of information that are repeatedly misinterpreted, as shown here, can be wildly concerning.
Sheltered People Raised In Cults Explain Which Things About The Real World Shocked Them The Most
What's most unsettling about people who grow up in cults or strict and conservative religious groups is they are raised with a highly distorted view of the world.
Rather than being taught to have an open mind and heart, they are brainwashed into believing that there is a very firm right and wrong way to live.
Often including sexist, homophobic, racist and other blatantly discriminatory policies.
As a result, when people leave these societies, either being rescued or through their own bravery, they are often shocked to discover just how different the world is than they were led to believe.
"Sheltered people raised by super religions/cults: what was something about the real world that shocked you when you learned about it?"
Comfort Levels Are OK.
"That it’s actually healthy to have boundaries."- aphroditespearl
It's Ok To Be Yourself
"The greatest thing to me is what it felt like to be authentic."
'When you grow up in a fundamentalist cult, your life is not your own."
"Everything is planned out for you, every worldview is shaped by your religion."
"Leaving that all behind and being my own, genuine person was the best and least expected blessings of leaving the Mormon cult."
"Yes, sex and drugs (esp psychedelics) were amazing too, but I love being my own person so much."- Bojikthe8th
"How normal people aren’t thinking about you/judging you all the time, and even if they are- you can’t do anything about it anyway, some will judge no matter what you do."
"We (women, anyway) were raised to obsess over what we are wearing, how modest it is, and will it make men stumble?"
"My breasts are too small for one man but too large for all men, despite being what God gave me."
"My body is both too thin to bear children but somehow also too fat, and proof that I am a glutton."
"We were taught how to modulate our voices into a soft pleasant pitch, how to serve God with every breath, and how we’re living literally every single moment on a precarious cliff of falling into sin."
'The moment I realized that my hair color, my clothes, my makeup was more an expression of myself than a reflection of other’s desires was the moment I finally let go."
"I don’t dress for men, I don’t dress for women- I dress for myself."- Q_Fandango
The World Is More Wholesome Than Expected
"Where is all the sex and drugs?!"
"I was promised wanton lascivious f**king in the streets."- FairUnion275
Words, Words, Words...
"Nothing as major as here but my wife’s family is extremely religious, her grandfather was even a cult leader a few books written about him."
"Can’t get into details for sake of privacy, but it stands out to me and it blows my mind how ignorant her whole family is."
"And I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but ignorance in the way of the most basic social cues and interactions and even words in conversation."
"I’ll be talking to her aunts and uncles in their sixties and they’ll have so many things they’ve never heard of it blows my mind."
'She has two aunts who actually took classes to learn how to have normal conversations because they were so odd."
"Even my wife is still learning and growing vocabulary and she’s 39."- Dorkknight112183
People Actually Can Be Compassionate, Equitable And Kind
"Didn't realize that Christianity wasn't the 'default' for adults."
"Didn't realize it's not normal to treat your family like garbage while being a super nice charismatic human to everyone else."
"More of a narcissistic thing but since I was so sheltered and they were so strict and obsessed with being in control, I had no idea."
"Didn't know that not everyone has an ulterior motive when speaking to you."
"Was raised with the girls inside doing women chores and the boys outside helping with man chores."
"Grew up and realized some men actually cook and clean as well... what a shocker."- free-the-krug
The World Is A Safer Place Than You Think
"Not raised religious, but raised by an incredibly sheltering parent."
"Turns out I *won't* be mugged and murdered for simply existing in a city setting without a male escort."- TheRedMaiden
In All Seriousness, It Has Many Health Benefits
"That I’m not gonna go to hell for jerking it and it’s completely normal to feel the urge to self pleasure and release on your own terms."- Nuck_7
Not Always Beholden To Others
"How people can just... Make decisions."
"You don't need to jump through hoops, meditate all night, read the bible, and pray, just because you want to buy a certain dress."
"You can just.. Buy it."
"You can make that decision."
"I can make that decision."
"Freedom was extremely surreal at first."
"It still sort of is."- celaeya
"For me, it was a complete culture shock."
"People could do anything ."
"Women could treat men as equals, not always defer to them."
'People treat other people with more respect-- adults are treated like adults."
"People could talk about sex and bodily functions like periods without being ashamed."
"People weren't afraid of living their lives in a way that made them happy."
"In the first few months of being out of my parents' home, I learned so many new words and things I didn't know existed."
"I watched a lot of movies that would have been considered wickedly sinful in my former home."
"I had to relearn how to talk and act with people."
"Outside of the church, people do everything different, and the people you can and can't trust are different."
"I felt like I had the IQ of a normal 8 year old in the real world."- Fearless-Complaint16
Life Doesn't Need To Be Lived In Fear
“'End is nigh!''."
"Oh I’m waiting!"
"'I wish he would'."
"'You’ve been left behind' … yep."
"To suffer like the rest of us."
"Grew up in a rapture-centric evangelical household."
"Parts of it were loads of fun, some just straight up trauma porn."
"Y2K was a hoot in my house, we definitely believed it could all end, given all of the televangelists hopping on the doom train."
"The part that shocked me the most, or affected me the most is that you don’t realize until you are older that you really did believe the world would end, well, soon-ish."
"The idea of getting old, worrying about retirement, whether my aspirations would materialize, most of those things seemed more far fetched than the apocalypse did."- rotissrev
Privacy Is A Right, Not A Privilege
"The complete and total lack of privacy in the church vs actually having privacy."
"Besides being roomed with all my siblings and cousin."
"Daily body inspections, spankings, potty time."
"Also being treated like a toddler pretty much 24/7.'
"God forbid we did something without permission.'
"We didn’t address adults as sir or ma’am, calling our parents Mommy and Daddy into our teenage years, having a bedtime, knowing how to do chores but not really knowing why."
"Getting to the real world."
"I knew how wash clothes."
"I didn’t know why I was washing clothes."
"I knew how to wash dishes, I didn’t know why I was."
"If I wasn’t told to do something I would just stand there hopeless."- lighthousek
No matter one's upbringing, the world can be a terrifying place.
Particularly when you set out to face it on your own for the first time.
But the only way to stop being afraid of the world is by exploring all the things it has to offer.
This includes many wonderful things, which should never be hidden by walls and boundaries from anyone.