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People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Lie Their Parents Ever Told Them

People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Lie Their Parents Ever Told Them
Photo by Stefan Cosma on Unsplash

People lie. The tagline of the popular TV series House, MD, was "everybody lies." That includes my parents and yours, folks.

Sometimes parents lie to their children to protect them. Sometimes they lie because it's easier than telling the truth. But unfortunately, not all parents are good people. Some lie to manipulate their children, or hold control over them. And that story is way more common than any of us would like to think.


So when u/bordemstirs asked:

"What is the most ridiculous/f**ked up lie your parents told you?"

People had plenty of stories to go around.

I Hate You, You Hate Me

"My dad got fed up of watching Barney the dinosaur when I was a kid, and one day when I asked to watch it, he said:"

"'You can't.'"

"'Why?'"

"'Because Barney died'"

"I never did watch Barney again."-b14nn

Lies Backfiring

"Not too f**ked up, but ridiculous. When I was little, my mom told me if I didn't finish my dinner my stomach would get very hungry and come up and eat my brain."

"A few nights later I woke her up at midnight crying because my stomach growled and I needed a second dinner or it would eat my brain."-DragonStangFlyer122

The Waltzing (Away) Matilda

"My Dad told I had an older sister named Matilda, but she kept screaming in the car so he dropped her off at the side of the road and left her there."

"It didn't stop me screaming in the car until one day he actually stopped the car and told me to get out. He only drove 10m away but I never screamed in the car again."-AnoniemGebruiker

Some are to control our behavior as kids, but some persist into our adult lives.

A Little Respite

"Around the time Toy Story first came out, my dad drove an Infiniti and he told us that he could press a button and go 'to infinity and beyond' to jump over other cars."

"He'd have us close our eyes and press the button and he'd speed up and pass the car in front of us while our eyes were closed. as a kid i was d u m b f o u n d e d and thought he was magic."

"It's actually a nice memory compared to the other ones on here lol."-nopenonotatall

Rooster Farts Needed

"We used to have a farm when I was a kid. My uncle gave me few hens he had and I told my dad that I want them to have baby chicks and sell them."

"He told me we need to buy you a rooster for your hens. I said why? They lay eggs and they don't need to have a male around. He told me the eggs won't be fertile and will never hatch."

-"'But what can a rooster do to make it hatch?'"

-"'He picks the back of their necks.'"

-"'Well I can do that with a needle every day!'"

-"'And then he farts in their butts..'"

"The worst part I remember is me running to my mom after we went home to tell her about my recent discovery……."-Rio1231233

Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Manipulation For One

"Gaslighting. About obviously wrong or easily disputable things."

"Like, I hated the babysitter I had from age 3 to 4. She was a b*tch who favored boys and didn't much like me either."

"I was an easygoing kid, but I hated her. My mother insisted all the way through college that I loved this woman. We'd go back to visit my hometown, and she'd force me to skip seeing my friends to visit this lady."

"At 16, these visits would go something like 'Hi.' 'Oh, it's you.' And then she'd ignore me and talk to my mother while I stared at a wall and nodded politely until we could leave."

"My mother doubled down on this every time I disagreed until one visit back to the church we used to attend (social center of small towns), this lady saw my mother coming and began the conversation with 'wasn't it funny how much your daughter and I always hated each other? I only watch little boys these days. Can't stand girls.'"

"My mom briefly attempted to convince both of us that we shared fond memories, but... By that point we were approaching 20 years of mutual dislike. It was a bit absurd."-TragedyPornFamilyVid

People Should Not Be Allowed To Be Parents

"My mom would drive us to random huge nondescript buildings, screaming the whole time claiming that it was the orphanage & that she was getting rid of us."

"Sometimes she would get out & physically pull our arms trying to rip us out of the car."

"If she was near the police station she would try it there too, telling us we were horrible kids & that the cops would understand and take us away from her."

"Which was super bold to me! it's a shame she never got caught in the act abusing her kids."-miserable-now

Lying can be a form of abuse.

Whale Toe Soup

"When I was younger i learned that mushrooms were a fungus and refused to eat them."

"My dad made me some soup with mushrooms in it and i threw a fit about eating it, so he inspected the bowl and told me they were whale toes."

"Apparently i was old enough to know that mushrooms were a fungus but not old enough to know that whales didnt have feet. >_<"-SelfBoundBeauty

Reversing The Lie

"It's not that f**ked up but it's kind of a revenge story. When I was very young my parents told me I couldn't get carbonated soft drinks cause they said it was bad for me and I could die. Mind you I was an hyperactive kid at the time."

"At one point I got a genius idea, I lived with my mother and my father would pick me up every weekends."

"My plan was Friday evening when my father would pick me up I would tell him 'mom gave me coca-cola cause she said it's okay you're going to your father's anyway.'"

"And at this moment my father accepted the fake challenge I have given him. The next Sunday evening my father gave me like a 1L of 7up just before dropping me off."

"So I was pretty excited, my mother asked me like what's up with you ? And I told her pretty much the same thing 'dad gave me 7up cause he said it's okay you're going to your mother afterward anyway' and then my mom took on the challenge too."

"They never spoke about it out loud it was kind of a war and I was the instruments. What they didn't know was that I was the evil mind behind it all. So all in all, I got my revenge, I got carbonated soft drinks and they never learned the truth until I told them years later."-lrdrchin

An Unforgivable Act

"I came home and my dog was missing. I searched for her for weeks. I was 10 so I couldn't really go anywhere to see if she'd been turned in. I called vets offices and stuff though."

"In my 20's I found out my mom took her to the humane society and dropped her off. I hope she found a new family that loved her the way she deserved to be loved. I hope that she didn't wait for us to come get her every day, crying for me."

"My mom has a dog now that she adores and the thought has crossed my mind to take her and drop her off at the local humane society and let my mom know how it f**king feels but I could never do that to another person."-SendRamenNoodz

Parents can be horrible people, too. And some of the parents in these stories no doubt deserve the "worst parent" award, swiftly and quickly rewarded to them upside the head.

But some of these lies are innocuous. Not all lies are bad things, and when they end up being kind of cute ones for your kids to make them happier, those are the best kind. But keep in mind that not being honest comes with a price. You may cause your child to resent you forever.

People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Majors They've Ever Heard Of

Reddit user GazelleHistorical705 asked: 'What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?'

College classroom
Dom Fou/Unsplash

Many high school graduates face the conundrum of what to major in when they go on to pursue higher education.

Teens who haven't already sparked an interest in a particular field by the time they graduate wind up buying more time waiting for enlightenment by electing "undecided."

But to avoid any stigma of being an idle scholar, some students settle on majors they thought never existed.

"Fun with pasta," anyone?

While such a major might not exist, I wouldn't put it past some academia for coming up with it.

Curious to hear what those unheard-of specialized fields of study are out there, Redditor GazelleHistorical705 asked:

"What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?"

Majors with one word, please.

Sounds Like A Hard Major

"PENIS. My school offered a major in Political Economy of Newly Industrialized Societies, but eventually realized the acronym and changed the name. Pity. I hope some were able to get their degrees with a concentration in PENIS."

– OhMaiMai

Hidden Objective

"Golf."

"It was made so the Vice Chancellor could buy a private golf course for the university, so he could play on it. I believe it had 5 enrollments ever, and one was a joke that didnt show up or pay. It got cancelled the first year, but he got to enjoy his own personal golf course for some years after."

jadelink88

Just Throwing Ideas

"Frisbee. A friends roommate at Amherst was in some kind of 'create your own major' thing and chose frisbee. His family had momey and college was just a formality."

– hightower65

Certain concepts as a major were hard to grasp.

Seed Of Despotism

"IIRC, like 20 years ago some college in Indiana offered a major in World Domination."

– Rev_Christopheles

"You can only get a job as a henchman with a BS."

"You need a full PhD to be an evil mastermind."

– JimBean823

A Vague Focus

"PhD in general studies."

– dravik

"Tf do you even write your dissertation about."

– Fragile_Line

"Everything."

– ProsciuttoPizza

"Generally."

– cropguru357

Let's Take It Outside

"An old friend has a Bachelor's degree in Outdoor Activities. He was never able to explain exactly what that meant, though."

– EnlargedBit371

"A guy I know majored in Recreation."

– kmsc87

"When I was there, my college had one of the top Parks Recreation and Tourism Management (PRTM) programs in the country."

"It had the nickname 'Party Right Through May.'”

"It was extremely popular with student athletes, especially football players."

"There’s always a demand for graduates too. It seems like one of those fields where you shouldn’t need a college degree to do the work, but you need one to get in the door."

– JimBeam823

Going At Your Own Pace

"When I was in uni my friend dated a guy who was majoring in leisure studies. I used to joke that leisure studies is a 4 year program, but if you’re good enough at it you can do it in 6."

– Mtldoggogogo

Things went up a notch.

Arghhh Ya Kiddin' Me?

"At MIT you can be certified in being a pirate if you complete the courses of pistol, archery, sailing, and fencing."

– yhdreytaweatrst

"It’s not a major, it’s a certificate. But if I ever get my own office it’s going in a very nice diploma frame and I’m gonna see who notices."

– PoorCorrelation

Veritable Hodgepodge

"My university had an Interdisciplinary Studies department that served mainly to get super duper seniors graduated. They would cobble together the random credits people got because they changed majors every semester into a 'degree.' You get some wild majors like a BA in Culinary Traditions and Music in the Former British Empire."

– pinelands1901

Sapphic Education

"My college briefly had a major in Nordic Lesbianism."

– WhizzleTeabags

"I've read many of the responses on here where most of them weren't ridiculous imo but you gave the best one!"

– 90DayTroll

"HUH."

– OP

Make It Up

"At a graduation at the University of Redlands. They have a degree whereby you basically take the classes you want and call it what you want."

"The degree conferred was, I kid you not: 'Still trying to figure out who I am.'”

– dmur726

Clearly there's a major for all occasions.

But at the end of the day, does it really matter as long as you have a BA in something to show you were academically tenacious?

Now go out there and carve out your own path, young scholars!

Just make sure you can pay off those student loans.

Maybe there should be a major on how to avoid debt.

human robot illustration

Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Artificial intelligence (AI) is defined as:

"the theory and development of computer systems able to perform tasks that normally require human intelligence, such as visual perception, speech recognition, decision-making and translation between languages."

AI is broken down into four types—from most basic to most advanced:

  1. Reactive machines
  2. Limited memory
  3. Theory of mind
  4. Self-awareness

The first two—reactive machines and limited memory—currently exist.

Reactive machines AI have no memory—it responds directly to current information. An example is a recommendation based on your streaming activity.

Limited memory looks into the past and monitors specific objects or situations over time, and adds the information to adapt responses. Self-driving cars are a good example of limited memory AI.

The other types—theory of mind and self-awareness—don't exist yet.

Theory of mind AI would be able to understand intentions and predict behavior while adjusting its own responses, simulating human interpersonal relationships.

The final step in AI is self-awareness. These would be systems that have a sense of self, a conscious understanding of their existence.

As AI advances, some human work functions will be done cheaper or more efficiently by AI.

Keep reading...Show less
man and woman holding hands

Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

According to the General Social Survey, 20% of married men and 13% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse.

In the United States, 17% of all divorces cited adultery on the part of either or both parties.

But 70% of married women and 54% of married men reported they didn't know of their spouses’ extramarital affair until their spouse confessed.

And how did the other 30%-46% figure it out?

Keep reading...Show less

I was very fortunate that my parents were able to pay all expensive not only through adolescence but even through college. However, they made it very clear that once I graduated, I was on my own.

I made every effort to make sure I could afford to live once I graduated. I made copies of all the recipes my parents got when they bought stuff for me, and started saving my own receipts, something I didn't do through high school. I calculated monthly expenses and created a budget for the future.

When I graduated, I had accounted for all the big expenses: take-out food, the expensive skin care essentials I needed to keep my acne at bay, and utilities (heat, AC, electricity).

What I didn't realize was that small expenses are not so small. Microwavable meals went up by $2. Gas, which was pretty steady while I was in college, seemed to shoot up daily. And things that don't seem expensive at first glance, such as toilet paper, become big expenses as they add up.

I'm not the only one who had these realizations. Redditors have too, and are eager to share what items they didn't realize were expensive until they became an adult.

It all started when Redditor ForeignReviews asked:

"What item did you not realize was expensive until you became an adult?"

Yummy, Yummy

"Food is both more expensive and goes bad quicker when you're an adult."

– BriSnyScienceGuy

"I know right! I honestly love grocery shopping, so when I started driving I would go grocery shopping when I had the car and so nowadays I do maybe half of the grocery shopping. But, it's just so expensive. I often look for deals and will buy generic/store brand on most items but, still."

"My biggest tip for "goes bad quicker" is to always get from the back, because usually that's where the longer lasting stuff goes and when it's stacked, get from the bottom. When it's stuff with longer shelf life like cereal and canned stuff, I don't usually bother. But I mostly do that with bread and dairy products. My mom taught me that when I was little."

– ariana61104

"Yes! Having to feed yourself and your household is getting too expensive and so tedious. I really admire my mom for making dinner every night when I was growing up. Thankfully I don't have kids so me & my husband are okay with just eating snacks sometimes."

– WildMoonWitch

So Sweet

"My parents split up when I was a kid in the 90s, and I remember going to my dads apartment in another city, and him cooking us steak on the grill. I always loved that."

"Once I moved out I was like "wait steak is how much? Why the hell did Dad keep feeding us this?""

"Then I realised he was eating poverty meals all week to treat his kids on the weekend."

"For his 60th birthday us kids pooled our money and took him to arguably the best fine dining restaurant in my province for the full tasting menu. Seeing him light up at trying things like caviar and truffles for the first time made me realize how much he has sacrificed for us."

"So yeah, steak is expensive."

– KFBass

"You guys are awesome; what a nice story. He raised y'all right."

– Augustus58

Where Do I Sit?

"Gotta be furniture."

– harrisrichard

"When I bought my house I only had a bed in the master bedroom and all my friends kept saying “you make good money just buy furniture, you could have it furnished in a month.” Then they themselves bought houses and now understand why it took me a year to furnish my house."

– Stetikhasnotalent

They Don't Need To Be That Nice!

"Rugs. Why did no one tel me a ‘nice’ rug was $18,000."

– BenSadfleck

"But it really ties the room together."

– alittlec4

"Dude, you could fly to Morocco and get a hand made wool rug for that much. What the heck are you buying?"

– mofukkinbreadcrumbz

"My dog isn’t going to want to butt scoot on anything cheaper than 10k."

– iamaliberalpausenot

Car Accessories

"New tires. Most unexciting $1,000 purchases I have ever made."

– PRCraig

"Also why the hell are oil changes so expensive now!?"

– johnstonb

"Bro fr I swear they were just $20 just a second ago now it’s like $60?? I asked my dad to teach me how to do it myself as a teen and he said it was so cheap that I might as well pay someone else. That didn’t last."

– greeneggiwegs

Walk It Off

"A good pair of shoes will set you back a bit, especially if you need more specialized ones for whatever reason."

– sedition-

Part Of The Family

"Pets."

– TeacherLady3

"They have gotten a lot more expensive due to expected care changing dramatically, and how we feel about them."

"The idea that you would put a pet down because a vet treatment costs too much is horrible now, but was pretty common in the past. Outdoor cats were the norm so they pretty much fed themselves and you had far fewer litter changes - litter was just clay, and you tossed the whole thing."

"Dogs ate table scraps and whatever they hunted down, or cheap as dog feed made of whatever ended up on the slaughter house floor (bones and all)."

"While purebreds were probably still super expensive, most people had a mutt or tabby, that the found/were given, instead of buying."

– RandomChance

"All true. But I waited until I was in my 50's and had raised my kids until I could afford a pet. Like kids, I wasn't going to be a pet owner until I could provide the care they deserve."

– TeacherLady3

The Cost Of People

"Kids."

"I'm amazed how my parents could afford me."

– only_stupid_answers

"My parents had 5 of us. It amazes me to this day, that my fathers paultry salary at the time had to support it all. How the f**k could anyone do that today?"

– The_REAL_McWeasel

Vroom, Vroom

"Cars, all grown-ups had them, maybe even multiple. I still think its insane that some cars are more expensive than a 2 bedroom apartment."

Tommer_nl

"I remember people restoring cars all the time when I was growing up. I would love to do it but even a rough condition rolling rust is super expensive now for even common things people aren’t super after."

Pup5432

"Yeah what the hell!? I feel like everyone's dad (mine included) had a project car that they were tinkering with."

"All of my 'tinkering' is to keep my single, daily driver running!"

disisathrowaway

Shiny Teeth And Me

"My teeth."

– Bumfuzzled_Hobgoblin

"Teeth are luxury bones, don’t ya know? Why on earth would regular health insurance cover them? Hahaha. The fact that vision and dental are separate from the rest of your body is absurd."

– Blackfoxx907

I See You!

"Glasses. I have awful eyesight and an astigmatism and got quite a shock when I had to pay for my own prescription glasses for the first time."

– Heavy_Mycologist_104

Time Flies

"Free time."

"As a kid I had loads of it and gave it away. now I can't afford even a minute !!"

– TokenFeed

"I took a toll road home today for an extra hour of free time and it was the best money I ever spent."

– squidkiosk

What I wouldn't give -- or pay -- for some extra free time!