***WARNING - THE FOLLOWING ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART!***
Medical mishap stories are like trainwrecks—you can't look away, or not read up.
Something about trauma and drama is too fascinating to let pass by.
We just have to hear more, even if it makes us queazy and then faint.
One of the worst body pain topics—at least for people who have one—involves the destruction of the penis. Even thinking about violent pain "down there" can cause tears.
Redditor PM_for_life_secretswanted to know who was willing to share some, unique, male crotch tales, so they asked:
"What is your penis 'horror story?'”
I'm not a fan of these kinds of stories, of course that doesn't stop me from reading.
Let me sit first.
"Two parts. I was in hospital waiting for a cystoscopy. 15 years old. Sat in the bed, the consultant comes around. He's doing teaching rounds."Giphy
"He flips the sheet down, and reveals to all the students the glory that is my penis. After the cystoscopy, they've (I assume) vacuumed out the urine so they can see clearly with the camera. I go to pee. I get pfft pfft pffttt pffffttt. My penis was farting. It was both horrifying and impressive." ~ shemmie
"When I was 8 I tried to inflate my penis with a soccer ball pump. I’d heard of penis pumps but looking back I didn’t quite understand the concept. I stuck the needle into my urethra and inflated a few pushes."
"It gave me A half chub and a strong urge to urinate. I tried to go pee but I just kinda farted out of my penis hole and the pee splattered everywhere like a sprinkler. 20 years later I get sharp pains randomly when I urinate. I’m almost positive I have a urethral structure." ~ Imafish12
A Flayed Penis...
"I had a patient who had really bad edema and would not quit trying to masturbate. He fell asleep or something with his foreskin retracted and his penis swelled up from the fluid but his foreskin didn't stretch and basically turned into a tourniquet."
"Went in to give him his bath and his penis was turning blue from the lack of blood flow. Called the urologist for help and he told me I had to go in there and squeeze the living hell out of his penis so the fluid would be pushed back into his body and his foreskin could be slid back down."
"I spent about 45 minutes with my hands clamped around his penis while my coworkers restrained him because he kept trying to punch me. Also gangrene of the penis and scrotum is real. Nothing like changing a wound vac on someone's flayed penis and scrotum." ~ seventhirtytwoam
"I was 4 years old and uncircumsized. While in a changing room at a swimming pool with my mother and her aunt. The aunt said 'his foreskin does not look right. it looks too tight is that ok?' "
"She reached out and grabbed it and pulled it tearing it open. I had to be taken to the hospital and was circumcised the next day as she had torn it too bad to be repaired." ~ stinkload
"When I was a toddler, two of my favorite things were accidentally mixed: being naked, and snapping books shut when I was done reading/looking at them." ~ StagDT93Giphy
I need a minute before we continue.
Why is there always so much blood?
"Came home from camp and it turned out I had a tic on the head of my penis. I totally freaked out." ~ addisonaddisoniiGiphy
"Around the time I met my (now) wife, I was whoring around a bit. Well, I stopped seeing the other girls and started dating just my current wife. A couple weeks after we met, I started getting that painful, drip-d*ck. Had to call everyone to tell them someone had an STD."
"I go get checked out and a couple days later they call me back and said I didn’t have any STD but they found what looked like a fungal infection similar to athlete's foot. It dawned on me that a few weeks before, I was at the gym and decided to hit the tanning bed before I left, had nothing to put on my d*ck because I didn’t want it to burn. Decided to put my sock on it… bad idea." ~ Gluten_maximus
"So, I am a nurse and work in a nursing home. This one time we got a patient for a short stay that had just had a partial penectomy (they removed about 2 inches of penis including the whole head). He had a catheter in with stitches around what penis he had left. Well, the man pulled the catheter out."
"(A catheter has a 10-30ml balloon that gets blown up inside of your bladder to keep the catheter from just sliding out.) He pulled the catheter out with the balloon intact and completely ripped open all of the stitches and essentially flowered what little penis he had left. I walk in the room to see the catheter bag laying on the floor and his bed covered in blood. He lost even more of his penis because of this." ~ PrincessShelbyy
"Early 20's, a lovely young lady was astride me for car sex outside of a bar. She had on a dress and thought it a good idea to move her panties to the side while she got on top me. The material rubbed my shaft raw and the next day my penis looked like a Tijuana hotdog."
"Had to go to base medical as it was extremely uncomfortable and wouldn't heal. Navy corpsmen are a sadistic but humorous bunch, so I had multiple nicknames after they saw my roadrash." ~ DefinitelyNotRyanH
"When I was like 10 I tried to jump an aluminum fence, I slipped and cut the tip of my penis on the edge... thank God I didn't lose it." ~ Yurrrr__Brooklyn347Giphy
"My parents took me to an old-school doc who felt that my foreskin needed to be retractable by a certain age. I want to say I was some age between 3 and 5 years old. Multiple sessions of painful forced retraction. I haven't asked my parents about it, but my mother related a story about her parents trapping her uncle in the bathroom and forcing his foreskin back while he screamed."
"This story was related in regards to her regret in not having me circumcized. I remember reading that foreskin detachment progresses at different rates and it's only an issue if it hasn't happened by puberty. I'm not a doctor though."
"I have what I suspect is IBS, or at least some intestinal issues. I can get flare ups, which involves massive bloating for hours, as well as pain. Eventually things begin moving and the description of that is not relevant or wanted, I'm sure. Anyways, one morning I'm dealing with it. I've been awake all night, and I've learned that it's easier when I'm standing instead of lying down."
"I'm wearing my thick bathrobe, restlessly pacing and feeling generally miserable for myself. My wife wakes up, and notices I'm not in bed so comes to check on how I'm doing. To cheer me up, she reaches out playfully to touch my penis, sticking out from my open robe."
"She doesn't know that I've been basically shuffling my feet on carpet for two hours while wearing what amounts to a fluffy battery. What follows is a visible, thick bolt of Zeus' fury and an echoing SNAP as a static discharge arcs between my penis and her outstretched finger. There's no lasting damage, but I'll never forget the sight of that neon blue line connecting us."
"When I was a kid I just jumped out of the shower and we had one of those oil bar heaters on wheels in the bathroom. I had just enough clearance height to stand over it but had to hold the lil fella up. Well I accidentally dropped it and it fell onto the heater and sizzled a lil bit."
Stand by Me
"5th grade camp. Went the whole weekend not using the bathroom. Got home and peed to find roughly 40 ticks on my dick. I want to put it in a movie to share the trauma."
didymostlRiver Phoenix Film GIFGiphy
'Went to adopt a German Shepherd. While playing with it outside the Humane Society, it got excited and bit the tip of my penis. I thought my soul left my body."
"When my penis gave birth to a KIDNEY STONE."
"Yes. I had one. I felt it coming for a bit but it hadn’t been working it’s way down. It was relatively small so it wasn’t a cause of great concern for myself or the doctor."
"Well, mine apparently was sharp and a sharp edge got lodged into the sphincter between my ureter and bladder. The resulting swelling got it stuck more, and also clogged my ureter and started sending urine back up into my kidney."
"It felt like I had to take a massive piss but I couldn’t. I was able to get some relief at the ER, and then everything seemed fine until about a week later. Yea it hadn’t passed, it became just lodged different way. Urologist was able to get me. Good god the drugs were amazing to take that pain away."
A Vile Tale
"One Sunday morning, my old housemate woke me with a vile tale. The night before, he’d been out drinking and met a lady. Now this lady was a little (a lot) older that he was at the time. Anyway, he went for it anyway and went home with the broad. The terms 'bone dry' and 'jackhammer' were used to describe the event."
"At the conclusion, he saw a puddle of blood. He questioned the lady about it assumed she was on her period, to which she responded 'love… I have menopause.' At this point he examined himself to find he had ripped his banjo string. For weeks I heard screens as he urinated in the bathroom adjacent to my room. Poor guy."
"Before I was 10 we had this dresser we inherited that had been in a fire so the drawers were janky to open. So naturally I shut my penis in there because I wanted to see if I could get it back out. Couldn't. So after much oooing and hawing my mother came to my rescue and jimmied open the drawer. So a few minutes later naturally I shut my penis in there because I was SURE I could get it back out this time. Couldn't."
"I was making ramen when I was like 14 and I was in my boxers. I spilled the boiling water directly on my penis and balls, and the pain was like soul shocking. My dick ended up peeling like a snake."
G_man252nat geo desert GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy
"I was rinsing my lil’ buddy off in the sink after sex with a friend. My beloved cat, who used to love drinking running water from the sink, leapt up onto the counter. He slipped in some spilled water and his back claws 'connected' with my penis, scratching all the way down the right side of my champion. The pain. The blood. I was out of action for weeks. 10/10 do not recommend. Still miss the cat though."
I need to lay down.
Anyone else feeling faint?
How do you survive all that?
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Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.