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People Describe The Most F***ed Up Thing They've Ever Seen

I can't even...

People Describe The Most F***ed Up Thing They've Ever Seen
Image by Robin Higgins from Pixabay

There are just too many things we witness throughout life. And there are just some things no human should have to witness. I've lost track on the amount of things I wish I could unsee. Don't you walk away thinking... "Why God? Was that really necessary?" That one moment will almost certainly be one one the moments that you never escape. It's seared into the memory. There when our eyes are open and closed. Awake, asleep, it lingers.

Redditor u/Rainbow-Pickel-Squid wanted to hear some stories to get us SHOOK by asking... [NSFW] What's the most f*cked up thing you've seen?

CAUTION!! Going forward, there is some material here not suitable for young eyes. NC-17!!

I'm easy to faint. My knees go weak at the drop of blood, mine or other's. So when I have to witness horrific life moments I try my best to flinch or look away. I just don't have the stomach for it all and my dreams are already rough enough. Let's see what everyone has had to flinch for...

Dad

The bruising and swelling of my dad's eyes after being shot in the head during a robbery. He did not make it.

ThatGuySlay

I'm so sorry to hear about that, truly. I hope you're doing alright.

Kultaren

Trauma

We were at the lake with some friends. We were waiting at the dock for some more people to show up and we're just chilling in our boat. Well another boat came flying in and rammed the boat ramp. I noticed the people inside that boat were trying to lift a person off the floor.

I realized the people were covered in blood so I ran over to help. I jumped in the boat, and there was just pools of blood everywhere. And a dude that had gone face first into then boat propeller. I was 16 and will never forget the sound he was making, like trying to breath. His face was stripped like cut up almost perfectly. His jaw and one of his eyes dangling.

I helped them get him off the boat and onto a towel. Covered in blood, waited for an ambulance to arrive. He ended up dying about 20 min later. Legit didn't sleep for like 2 days. The worst part was there were two little girls in the boat, like maybe 6-8 years old. I can't imagine what trauma it did to them.

R12356

People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday

In the Fires

I was a firefighter for years and saw a lot, but one thing that still sticks with me is trying to perform CPR on someone who had been shot five + times. With the amount of bright red blood squirting out with every compression, we knew he was going to die but had to try something.

Bodies squished beyond recognition in car wrecks was always tough too, especially since it was often a hit and run or drunk driver in the bad wrecks.

Also, CPR on an infant is something that I never want to be involved in or see again in my life.

hunterryen

No one had noticed him...

Day at the lake...

Alice Lake, north of Vancouver toward Whistler, is a popular place to spend a summer day. There's a beach for those who don't mind chilly water, picnic ground, and a wooden pier. Our whole family was out there for a picnic, as were many others, enjoying Saturday in the woodland park.

Suddenly a man is striding through the the various knots of people: "We're looking for a two-year old boy who's gone missing..." The chatter and laughter stops in seconds; some people head for the forest to see if he's toddled up a trail, others to the parking lot or out in their canoe or boat to scour the shore. Nobody finds him.

Attention turns to the dock, usually crowded but now empty. RCMP members have arrived, and a man who has his diving gear in his car volunteers to search offshore; the distraught parents agree. He is in for less than a minute before his head appears. The cops speak with him. Shortly after, the boy's body is lifted from the swim ladder, covered in a sheet, and carried to a waiting ambulance.

The whole beach goes back to their day, but much subdued, many people visibly upset. Word comes that the boy had wandered through the busy pier and tried to climb down the ladder. He fell backwards, his legs hooking on the lowest rung as he went upside down and drowned.

No one had noticed him.

carmium

In the Box

The corpse of a woman who was in a metal box for 50 years.

I work at a cemetery and was helping with an exhumation. This person was in a metal casket. I was fairly new at that point and I had only seen bones so far so I wasn't expecting much different. I suppose the smell and the fact that the senior guys were wearing rain gear on a cloudless day should have clued me in on this being different. We had dug down to the casket, but here was difficulty with getting the casket out of the ground.

It was decided that we would get the doors off, remove the body, then remove the rest of the casket. For whatever reason I was the one told to get in the hole and open the doors to the casket once they were exposed. After ripping on the door to force it open I was met with a few seconds of pure, abject horror as I gazed upon the desiccated, lipless, eyeless face of a woman who was buried 50 years earlier, now 4 feet away from mine.

She still had teeth and hair, her eyes and nose had collapsed, and the rest of her exposed skin was some ghastly mix of yellow, green and blue. The bottom of the casket had a layer of yellow/green fluid that made me unable to swallow any of my saliva for the next hour without feeling the urge to throw up.

I was able to get somewhat over it and helped rig some spinal board thing with some ropes so we could slide it beneath her to lift her out of the hole (which was only 3.5 feet deep or so).

We had to prop up her upper body with a pitchfork to be able to slide the board beneath her, it was surprising how stiff and heavy she was. We got her into a temporary cardboard casket and she was loaded into the van of the coroner/funeral home people. I think the family had bought a mausoleum and that's why she was being transferred. So far that's the only really intact body that I've come across at work, people are usually dirt or bones by the time they can be disinterred.

rockclimber147

Ok. I'm already grabbing for my vodka. I mean... helping someone with no face, from a blade propeller? I don't even know where to start. And I really don't want to. I'm taking a deep breath and then I'll try to continue...

On the Inside

Infected coronary bypass wound which ate through the sternum and rib cage, the patient had a hole in her chest and the whole heart, part of the lungs were visible. Disgusting and interesting at the same time.

ct_100

Do Not Operate

A safety instruction video from where my cousin used to work. it was about how NOT to operate heavy machines. It was a security footage. A guy came up to the machine, he tripped and fell right into it. It started spinning him around, after a few seconds it ripped his legs and arms off, the floor was covered with his organs.

Thanos-Thicc

Crash

Happened last week. We were at a bar sitting on the patio. Hear a loud screech and then a thump. Someone drunk a-hole had hit a pedestrian going ~50 mph in this tiny, pedestrian friendly street. What makes it really messed up is that the victims legs came flying off. Like all the way off.

Didn't even land near the dude. Cops and ambulance were there real quick and we saw them loading the guy up quite clearly missing important body parts. I keep checking the news and there's been no word about his status.

twixburst

Secrets Downloaded

I used to fix computers back in the 90s. Y'all have no idea how much messed up crap people download. Holy crap the amount of horrific violence I came across is absolutely insane, and a lot of times the stuff wasn't even hidden, they'd save to their desktop or something.

I called the cops every time I saw stuff that was actually illegal, of course, but you can't unsee that horror. It was horrible. It really messed me up.

apriballs

On the Cam

That one dashcam video where a family are driving along and a pole or a plank of wood or something falls off a wagon in front of them, comes right through the windscreen impaling the mum, instantly killing her. You don't actually see anything though, it's the audio that gets you.

Edit: It was a brick.

ALA0390

bad memories...

My father in law was an EMS director for 30 years, and he said he still has nightmares about giving babies CPR from a drowning, choking, etc.. He said those were the worst calls, and nothing else comes close. He felt so helpless - even though he knew the babies were gone the parents would scream for him not to stop trying to resuscitate.

kngdmdev

Smash

Uncle was a firefighter, on his day off he passed a car that smashed into a bridge, family of 4, car on fire, everyone was stuck inside screaming. Uncle tried to save them but it was too hot, watched them all burn. He quit firefighting, had some pretty severe PTSD.

ChronicZombie86

Don't Drink and Drive!

I'm a volunteer firefighter and was deployed for a road crash.

A drunk driver smashed into a couple who was driving on the opposite line, the two bodies were torn apart, blood and guts everywhere in the car. I picked up a mobile phone between the girl's feet and the locking screen was a pic of her with a maybe 2-3 weeks baby, i learned later that it was their son.

The drunk driver made it with minor injuries.

MatFink01

Poor Rabbit

I once watched a child kill a rabbit with his bare hands. The thought of it still bugs me and I won't go near the kid.

So, I was visiting some of my large extended family one year, say about 10 years ago. My uncle has 3 kids and they had a little hobby farm at the time. More just a bunch of odd farm like animals, but whatever.

This story is about the youngest, who was about 6 at the time.

I was out in the yard saying hello to the little baby goats when I look over and I see my little cousin trying to grab one of the rabbits. I have seen him pick them up before and while he's a little rough, they don't seem to mind.

Well not this time. This time the little bunny bit him. Not like enough to take off a finger or even draw blood, but enough to piss my little cousin off something fierce. I was about to go see if he was ok when I noticed that we wasn't crying, so I figured he was fine.

Next thing I know, he's grabbed the rabbit by the throat and it's freaking eyes are bugging out. It's mouth opens up and it's tongue is sticking out, then it makes this ungoddly sound and then stops kicking.

The little devil just tosses it aside and walks off to go play with the ducks. Like nothing happened.

Gave me the most unnerving feeling at the time and I'm still not sure about that kid.

DerekDemo

17

Best friend was shot/murdered in front of me when I was 17. Had issues with the wrong people and we were in his house watching TV when 2 guys kicked in the door and shot him. It happened so fast that I was still on the couch when they ran out.

One__upper__

On the Highway

I saw a girl run across the highway and get hit by a semi on a highway in Mississippi. I stopped and she was definitely dead, it was obvious there was nothing to be done. A bunch of people rushed out from the nearby group of trailers and started picking up her things and take her jewelry. I'm not sure what was going on, really.

A few of them were yelling at a man that was standing there and from the conversations is kind of put together she was running from him. I'm not sure if she jumped out on purpose or didn't see the truck. That's not the only fatal accident I've been the first person to the scene but I'm on mobile and that's enough for now.

ByeFeliciana

Prisoners

When I worked in the prison service I saw a bloke who had choked on his own vomit, that was pretty tough. He wasn't dead when I saw him but he did die later. Also saw a prisoner airlifted to hospital after he'd managed to throw a vat of boiling oil over himself.

Herecomethefleet

Swollen...

I use to serve in the Coast Guard. We got a call for a floating body in the river. We pull up on what appeared to be a middle aged man belly up. We could see that his stomach had swelled from being in the water awhile but couldn't figure out was in between his legs. As we got closer, we realized his nut sack swole but 4 times the size. Needless to say that vision is forever in my head.

-brotatorsalad-

I'm glad that's over. I can't continue on the Reddit thread and I wish you all well if you choose to. But I really hope we're all getting therapy. After reading all of that, it's proof all humans need it.

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REDDIT

People Who Witnessed A Teacher Break Down In Tears Share Their Experiences

Reddit user throwthrowwthrowwww asked: 'Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?'

Apple on a stack of textbooks
Element5 Digital/Unsplash

Teachers are not only educators, they're also inspiring leaders.

The most memorable teachers are those who genuinely encourage young students to do their best so they can be empowered to pursue their dreams.

However, we tend to revere them to such a degree, we forget that they're people too with real emotions.

Curious to hear from strangers who witnessed a vulnerable moment from someone they were inspired by at an early age, Redditor throwthrowwthrowwww asked:

"Students who've witnessed their teacher cry during class, what happened?"

There's no bigger heartbreak than people who are struggling with illnesses or know of someone facing medical challenges.

Ailing Teacher

"One of our music instructors 7th-12th grade. She had a long ongoing battle with stage three/four cancer. She always did her best to try to have fun during our classes, like it was an escape for her because she loved music so much. Over 85% of the entire high school joined choir because of her. Her chemo and radiation treatments left her exhausted some days, though, and she would occasionally break down. In 2012, when her condition worsened, she would have to take more days off because the cancer had become so debilitating."

"We continued to practice our songs while she was gone, and I swear we would sometimes spend an hour on one small section of a song, ripping every note apart, and repeating the same words over and over until we couldn't mess it up. One of the final days in class with her, I remember we were rehearsing for our upcoming state competition, and we sounded damn good. Mid-song, she stopped conducting, closed her eyes, folded her hands, and listened as we continued singing for her. The energy and sound was so profound throughout the room, I can't find the words to describe it."

"After the song finished, we stood in a long, complete silence before she opened her eyes with tears streaming down her face. She wasn't able to go to our state competition with us, but we ended up placing that year. It wasn't first like we were hoping, but it was the highest the school had ever placed. She later passed away that same year. She was one of the strongest women I had ever met in my life."

– Top-Box2372

Losing A Student

"My high school Spanish teacher also taught some homebound students with medical issues."

"One day the vice principal came into our class and told Ms J that one of her homebound students had passed away from his cancer. She couldn't hold back the tears."

– que_he_hecho

Wise Toddler

"I’m a teacher, I cried in front of my toddlers when I got a call from the hospital telling me it was time to make the call as to whether to pull my dads life support. One of my toddlers came up to me while I was crying, put her hand on my cheek and said 'it’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to cry,' then gave me a hug. I love my job."

– Cheekygirl97

Students witnessed the following teachers get emotional.

Thoughtful Sixth-Graders

"The class surprised him on teacher appreciation day. Someone brought pop, snacks etc. He was surprised. 6th grade teacher."

– Stephlynn1234

Appreciation Day

"Had a philosophy course in uni during covid. So the class was held on zoom. It wasn't teacher appreciation day, but it was the second to last lecture of the term and we all really enjoyed this prof (and because of him most of the class became friends). So we organized an appreciation thing for him."

"We all started class without our cameras on, which was unusual and made him question (he got sad actually). So one girl said 'before we start, we just really wanted to do something for YOU because you've done so much for us. I hope this is okay.' He gave us a confused look, and before he could say anything in response we all turned our cameras on and held up signs saying 'thank you professor [name]' and our green screen backgrounds were of his face lol. He laughed so hard but started crying. Told us how he wished we could do this in person and that he genuinely cared about all of us."

"He had a lot of health issues, the most prominent one being MS. Whenever he didn't start class on time we all got worried, and there were a few times where he cancelled altogether because he fell or something. He also had a cat, and we asked to see him just enough times that his cat learned what time our class was at and would climb up to see us and stay the whole class. It was cute. During the breaks he would email a link to play chess since he lived far from his family and couldn't visit and wanted the company. We organized a Christmas movie day with him over the Christmas break and he loved it. He retired after the following year because of his health, and I still wonder what he's doing now and if he's doing okay. I've been in uni for 5 years now and he is the only prof I've actually spoken to consistently and genuinely liked."

– Burnt_Your_Toast

Sad Literature

"5th grade teacher reading Where the Red Fern Grows out loud to the class. He shed some tears. He did every year."

– SnoBunny1982

"Our teacher read that book to us in 5th grade also. But when it got to that part, she elected me to read it and she left the room. Luckily I had read it before and knew what was coming, but it was still rough."

– MIBariSax81

The Private Life Of An English Teacher

"I forgot his name, but he was one of my favored teachers in high school. He taught English."

"During class, he was called out to talk to some members of the school administration and a few proctors. It took several minutes. But he returned, taught as much of the class as he could, and then just walked over to his desk and started crying. Whimpering. He then left."

"He just found out his wife, who had also been a teacher, was having an affair with one of the female students. We didn't find out that specific fact until later on though."

– Typical_Samaritan

Some students, however, can force a teacher to realize they're in the wrong profession.

Bad Attitude

"Student that had behavior issues and a hard time maintaining emotional regulation threw his recorder (the instrument) at the music teacher and it snapped in half. He then threw his desk in her direction and walked out. This was 3rd grade, and all she had asked him to do was listen to the song we were learning. She quit the next week after almost 30 years of teaching."

– Last_Tuesdays_Beans

Bullying The Substitute

"Ms. Hanlon... Substitute teacher, I still think about her and hope she's doing well. She was posted as the teacher when the usual teachers were off sick. Absolutely zero respect was given to her and the class knew if we had Ms. Hanlon it was just an extended lunch, we could just mess around and act like animals for the whole lesson."

"She had physical conditions like a dent in her forehead and a gravvely voice which prevented her from being able to raise her voice to tell us to be quiet. So the kids would all do Hunchback of Notre Dame impressions, spitballs through straws and do the 'coughing game' where they would just cough through whatever she was trying to say."

"Even as a kid I felt kinda awful after we'd essentially broken her and she'd just come in not even say hello and pull open a book for the hour and sometimes cry into it. I weirdly still think about her randomly once or twice a month, I hope she moved on to way better things. School children really have no filter at all."

– PNCL

Absolutely Zero Respect

"Substitute teacher in Jr High must be among the world's worse jobs. 8th grade we had a sub that demanded and got no respect. Kids would throw stuff at her etc. She left the classroom crying then the vice principal, who was not to be messed with, came in and took over."

– woolash

Major Mockery

"I had a substitute teacher named Mr. Crane who looked exactly like Ichabod Crane from the old cartoon. Some kids in the class bullied him relentlessly for this and he just kind of broke down one day. Poor guy."

– backflip10019

In seventh grade, I witnessed a classmate talk back to our homeroom teacher and saying very inappropriate, bullish things to her in front of the whole class.

But that didn't make her cry.

What made her tear up was when another student defended her and yelled at the bullying student for being out of line.

It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.

Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.

Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.

Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.

Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:

"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"

15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...

"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."

"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."

"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."

"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."

"And received absolutely nothing."

"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"

"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."

"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"

"'It's going to be huge!'"

"We all sit around the TV."

"It's February 2000."

"Boom, there's my uncle!"

"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."

"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."

"My uncle is screaming."

"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"

"We still have it on VHS somewhere."

"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988

Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

Preserved For Posterity...

"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt

Oops!

"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."

"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."

"He was married."- Fezig

Close Call

"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."

"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."

"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."

"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinja

Tiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphy

Unpaid Extra

"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."

"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."

"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan

Right Place At The Right Time?

"A fight broke out at a HS football game."

"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'

"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr

Awww...

"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-You

Illustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphy

Strike!

'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125

How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?

"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·

Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphy

Setting An Example...

"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."

"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."

"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419

Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...

"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."

"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."

"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."

"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."

"Got charged and everything."

"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU

Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...

"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."

"He returned it."

"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."

"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."

"He did it really well, too."

"He also didn't talk much."

"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."

"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80k

Animated GIFGiphy

Some people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.

Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...

Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...


People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.

Maybe it's the euphoria.

Maybe it's the adrenaline.

Maybe it's the tequila.

It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.

Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.

Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:

"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"

The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"

Geography matters.

Morbid Much?

In Bed Home GIFGiphy

"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."

Vixxay

Meow

"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."

shlanky369

"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."

"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"

"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."

Trumpet6789

POP!

"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"

"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."

DasBatt

"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."

"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."

Straystar-626

Damn it's Good

"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"

"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."

"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."

draftstone

A Binding Contract

"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."

"Still together 5 years later!"

Tatarstan

It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.

And it all starts with a handshake.

Sleep on It

“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"

lennyukdeejay

"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."

EvilNinjaX24

"This is the best one."

TomKhatacourtmayfind

Tiny Dancer

"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."

fleetwoodsackk

"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."

striker180

Fine!

"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"

"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."

Fullyme

"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”

OrwellWasRight101

Amen

"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"

"I married her, we still goin' at it."

BeBearAwareOK

Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

woman in black pants and red tank top
Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.

Accepting compliments can be much harder.

Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.

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