"What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happen to you?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor MaxxxReddit367, who must have really been in the mood to experience what the Germans call schadenfreude.
To be fair, we can't blame them, because these stories are delicious and cringe-inducing in equal measure.
Fasten your seatbelts!
"I don't think I've ever been..."
I ran cross country in high school. I would lead stretches, meaning that both the boys and girls teams were circled around me. A buddy came up and de-pantsed me and grabbed too many layers. At least the girls team got the rear end and the guys got the front. I don't think I've ever been truly embarrassed since.
"I was working at a skating rink..."
I was working at a skating rink as a DJ & used to throw on my skates to mingle with customers. One of my skate "moves" was to drop down into the splits and pull myself back up- like this scene Michael Jackson's Bad music video.
One evening a, regular rink rat, child asked me to do the splits. I obliged him, dropped down into the splits position; however, this time I didn't come back. Fast forward to having my pants cut off by EMT and being given morphine on the skate floor (while customers continued to skate) before being taken to the hospital. I had dislocated my patella.
The story doesn't stop there because the skating rink's GM stopped into the hospital to check on me and I found it slightly odd that he rotated awkwardly from across the open space in the room, to around the bed, cutting through the medical machines (almost knocking them over) and cables to stand against the gap in the wall to talk to me by my head. Being doped up I did not realize at the time that my patient gown was thrown open and he saw all of my business...
"Here comes an employee..."
GiphyNo idea if this is also the case in other countries, but here all shopping carts require a 50 cent or 1 euro coin to be put in for use. As a kid, whenever I would go shopping with my mom I would return strayed or lost carts and keep the coin.
One day I was with my mom in a huge hardware store. I saw a cart in the store, filled with all kinds of stuff. But my kid logic told me: oh its probably from an employee restocking stuff. They wouldn't mind if I were to take it right? So here I am emptying that cart, planks, cans the whole lot. I return the cart, collect the 50 cents and go to the kid corner to watch some tv or something.
Here comes an employee joined by a VERY displeased older lady. She starts screaming at me, borderline crying about how mean I am and anything. Then she walks away. I did not dare to go into that store for years after in fear of her or the employee recognizing me.
"One of my more memorable moments..."
One of my more memorable moments of my career at Target was the time I re-shelved a guests whole cart thinking it was a cart full of strays. Strays was our term for items that ended up in the wrong department or had been returned or abandoned at the checkout lanes. They would sometimes randomly show up on the floor. I had just finished up putting the items away when the lady asked if I'd seen her cart. I immediately realized what happened and admitted my mistake. Fortunately, even though the cart had been full, I remembered most of what I'd put away and was able to mostly correct the problem. Still pretty embarrassing though.
"Easily..."
Easily the time I was breakdancing in drama class in grade 11 and kicked a girl in the face.
"Everyone in the back of the plane..."
I had the Bacchanal buffet at Ceasar's on my last day in Vegas on one of my yearly trips.
I was fine until I got on the plane. I had to poop so bad and it was going to be diarrhea. However, we were racing a storm so the flight attendants asked everyone to remain seated so we could leave. I begrudgingly agreed with my insides on fire. 25 minutes after sitting waiting to take off, they announced wed have to taxi back and go from the opposite direction for a wind shift. It was another 30 minute delay.
Then we finally get into the air and fly right into the storm. It was turbulent and would last another 10 minutes. The seat belt sign was on but I couldn't ignore it anymore. Finally went to go. I exploded as soon as I got in there.
Everyone in the back of the plane could smell it when I opened the door. One guy even called me out on it. Oh well, my fault for eating oysters on a buffet.
"My freshman year of college..."
My freshman year of college (on my 19th birthday) there was a fire in my dorm. I was in the shower when the alarm went off. Had to jump out and right then, a male RA runs in yelling that we need to evacuate immediately. I grabbed the closest towel I could find and barely covered myself up in time for him to look over. I then had to stand outside in nothing but a towel for over two hours while the fire was put out and the building was cleared. The fire was caused by some idiot microwaving tin foil. I couldn't call anyone to come get me because it was the first week of school and I hadn't made any friends who had a car yet. It was...mildly frustrating.
"My name gets unexpectedly called out..."
I was in high school and we had a prize giving ceremony during school assembly.
My name gets unexpectedly called out, so I make my way to the front of the hall to collect my prize. I'm almost at the front when I have a sudden crisis of confidence and think that I must have misheard them and there is no way they called my name, so I turn around, walk back to my chair and sit back down. My friends are looking at me and ask me what the hell I'm doing, and tell me to get back up there to collect my prize. So I get back up, walk all the way up to the front and then have ANOTHER crisis of confidence and think that my friends must have been messing with me. So I turn around and walk back to my chair and sit back down. The hall is silent and the teachers are on stage looking at me like I just landed from another planet.
"I was aggressively arrested..."
I was aggressively arrested in front of most of my coworkers and several hundred airline passengers because slack-jawed yokels of the Boone County Kentucky court system can't spell and confused my last name with a similar last name.
"I was waiting for a friend..."
I was waiting for a friend to arrive at my home. Said friend was having a severe cold, so when the doorbell rang, I ran to open the door and jokingly pulled my shirt up so it would cover my nose and mouth to prevent infection. I pulled a little too high. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I opened the door to a baffled salesman with my boobs hanging out.
He blushed. I blushed. We stared at each other for a second before I closed the door and hid in the darkest corner of my house.
We all have brands or companies that we might admire from afar (or at the very least via their website or catalog), but know we will likely never shop there ourselves.
For the simple reason that their products and merchandise are simply out of our price range.
As a result, we may find ourselves like Holly Golightly at Tiffany's while window shopping, but never actually making a purchase.
However, there are some brands that are so luxurious, that even catalog or window shopping is out of the question.
As they are not only luxurious but also exclusive, only a certain few even know of their existence.
Redditor Halyycon10 was curious to learn about any and all of the luxury brands that cater exclusively to the wealthiest people on earth, leading them to ask:
"What are the 'quiet' luxury brands that only the super rich know about?"
Allow Me To Take You Upstairs...
"An Italian friend arranged a visit to a Murano glass gallery."
"After the general public cleared out of the public showroom, the gallery's people took us up some stairs to the 'real deal' gallery with shelves full of breathtaking art pieces."
"We admired one vase on a shelf, but were told that it would never be offered for sale -- it was too important as part of the island's legacy & heritage."
"I think that the way we zeroed in on it somehow convinced them that we were top art dealers "'in stealth mode'."
"For the rest of the afternoon, we were treated like VIPs."
"What a day that was...."-- funhousefrankenstein
Uncharted Territory
"I work in the Luxury Travel industry."
"I know quite a few."
"Exclusive Resorts is an invite-only membership club for very high-end travel."
"They don’t post their prices online, but I know people that work there."
"They have personal cell phone numbers for people like Jeff Bezos, Waltons, and people that live at that stratospheric titan of industry level."
"Their cheapest membership package is $100,000 to join, and can run up to $250,000."
"That’s just the price to join the club."
"You have to pay for any travel you want to book on top of that."
"They have a $600M portfolio of properties they own throughout the world, that only their members have access to."
"Want to guarantee availability for a finish-line view villa in Monaco during the Grand Prix?"
"Want to get a ski-in cabin next to the Walton’s cabin in Aspen over Christmas?"
"Want a luxury penthouse in Paris during fashion week?"
"These are your guys."
"They cap their membership at 3,000 people, so you may have to wait for a long time until you can get in."
"Another interesting one: White Desert is your tour operator of choice if you want a private expedition with your buddies to the South Pole."
"Their packages can run $100,000+ per person for a private jet to their base camp on the Antarctica plateau and then another custom-build ski-plane transfer to their camp on the South Pole."- El_mochilero
GiphyNothing More Valuable Than A Good Night's Sleep...
"Duxiana."
"For people who can buy a mattress that costs as much as a car."- Hot-Dress-3369
A Perfect Fit...
"Tailors on Saville Row."
"Wealthy people get their clothes custom made."- mecyh
Nothing To Give It Away...
"I had a rich friend once tell me that Gucci is what poor people think rich people wear."
"Since then I noticed that all of her clothes fit perfect, but she never has logos on anything."- hoptownky
gucci GIFGiphyThese Boots Might NOT Be Made For Walking...
"John Lobb bootmaker in St James."
"Make beautiful handmade shoes for royalty, celebrities and rich types."
"They are well known but not a household name."- queenirv
Free For All...
"I used to be of the opinion that really wealthy people wore stuff that you wouldn't really notice, but disappointingly (having spent some time around folks with extreme wealth recently), the true answer is just: whatever the hell they like."
"If someone really liked branded gear before they were wealthy, you'd better believe they're going to be dressed like Ali G once they make it big."- AvaRCordero
Pay Up To Dress Down...
"Jeff Goldblum was on the Conan podcast and talked about where he got his jeans."
"It was from this hard-to-find shop in New York that not many people had heard of.
Come to find out, not surprisingly, their jeans are insanely expensive, and only the very rich could afford them." - Reddit
Jeans Pants GIF by Post MaloneGiphyFor All Your Million Dollar Needs...
"Buy a copy of The Robb Report magazine at a bookstore and marvel at the insane ads in the back for private jets, yacht brokers, military level trained personal protection Belgian Malinois guardian dogs, personal protection security firms staffed by former US Secret Service and retired Tier 1 operators only in their early 40s and fit with 20 years experience, and even crazier stuff."
"Pfft buying a $400 pair of jeans is pedestrian when you have Taylor Swift money and roll in 2 fully armored Escalades and are escorted on errands by a phalanx of guys in black polo shirts and jeans who have been places and done things in sandy countries that are still classified."- scots
Cruisin...
"Amels."
"They are one of the best super yacht manufacturers in the world with over 100 years of experience."- theassassintherapist
Before You Show Off That Logo...
"Almost all of the well known luxury brands have several lines. "
"The ones with logos all over them are typically the cheapest (I’m looking at you LV, Gucci) etc. which is why they’re so common."
"The same companies will have more exclusive lines that are much more expensive, usually more classic in style, and they’re not covered in logos, so you’d never know what brand they are unless you’re really into that kind of thing."
"For example, my wife wanted to buy me a nice wallet, so we went to the LV shop."
"I liked one that had no logo on the exterior of it, just simple grey leather, and it cost twice as much as the ones with 'LV' stamped all over them."- ToothbrushGames
Black Friday Christmas GIF by FOX TVGiphyPeople Go Nuts For Interior Design
"Zuber & Co."
"Crazy expensive wallpaper and room dividers/panels."
"I love old rococo and baroque things so happed to walk by their store in NYC."
"Stopped in due to the patterns and quickly realized I do in-fact NOT have thousands of dollars per ft for wallpaper."
"For example $5,000 - $30,000 per panel."- Reddit
It's About Time
"When I met my wife she worked selling high end watches."
"Talking about it on our first date I said ‘oh like Rolex and stuff?’"
"She said ‘Rolex customers are just new money, drug dealers and old men'."
"'If people contact us wanting one we just direct them to a watch shop'."
"Then rattled off a list of about 10 makers I’d never heard of which her international clients would fly here just to try on."
"I was wearing a Luminox at the time which I thought was pretty badass but all of a sudden I felt like a kid running around with that gadget from Ben 10."- StrangledByTheAux
As the saying goes, "if you have to ask, you can't afford it!"
Though it must be said, there is also absolutely NOTHING wrong with shopping for watches at a watch shop.
The human body is an amazing thing.
It is capable of far more than we ever thought possible.
When studying anatomy we really should start doing a deeper dive into all the parts of the body.
Each organ and limb has a story and function that we never really learn about.
Redditor NorthPengyyy wanted to discuss... the penis, so they asked:
"What are some fun facts about the penis?"
Don't Die
"Fun fact - the erection happens when blood enters the penis, the main "structure" of the penis hardens and expands (obviously), but by doing so it presses the Veins and blocks them. Meaning - the blood comes but doesn't go out of the organ, thus keeping it erect for too long. This is why erections over 6 hours are dangerous because the blood blockage is for too long of a time and the penis can die due to lack of oxygen. I hope it was interesting."
SoapBubble3
Outaries
"The seam on your testicle sack is where your proto vagina sealed up while you were in the womb."
melonsquared
"So testicles are just ovaries that are outaries?"
datazulu
"Literally yes. They all start as gonads in your abdomen. Girls’ gonads stay and turn into ovaries. Boy’s gonads descend and become testes. It’s why, when you take a hit to the balls, it hurts all the way back up in your stomach and can make you nauseated. Boys still have innervated back up to where the gonads first developed."
SpartySoup
SNAP!
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy"It can break like a glow stick if it slips out while a girl is on top and slams back down on it."
Artistic_Marzipan221
De-boned
"Most animals have a 'penis bone' which allows for instant erections, however, humans do not have this bone. The cause is thought to be because without the bone, courtship, arousal, and mating is a longer affair therefore leading to increased intimacy and pair bonding. The penis is literally made for love."
nailbunny2000
Prehensile
Nat Geo Adventure GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy"An elephant's penis is prehensile, like its trunk. It can be used to pick up objects."
Sea-Woodpecker-610
How come only elephants were granted this gift?
Frozen
Polar Bears GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy"Being stressed out, exhausted, and cold makes it smaller. So the smallest penis in the world should belong to a man being chased by a polar bear in the Arctic."
Electrical_Age_336
Wait, what?
"I remember watching a weird YouTube documentary about a spider (in Australia of course) whose bite gives you a forever erection."
JMthought
It Just happens
"Just because it's erect DOES NOT mean the person is horny/aroused."
Spartan0536
"I recently learned that clenching other muscles is a good way to get rid of an erection. The bigger the muscle, the better, so clenching your butt is a good way to go. Apparently, it’s because it causes more blood to go to the clenched muscle. More blood to the muscle = less blood to the penis."
phatcat9000
"I'm quite anxious all the time. When I'm just chilling with nothing else to do, I reach a point of relaxation and I get erections, I'm not aroused or anything, I'm just chilling and it seems that my body approves of my time off I guess."
chifrijoconbirra
Be Smart
"There is a ligament at the base of the penis that causes the penis to rise when it becomes erect. This is what causes a bulge etc."
"Some people have stupidly made the decision to have this ligament cut. This is because it adds a few inches of length to the erect penis. However, it will just hang down. Do. Not. Do. This. It is a stupid thing to do."
phatcat9000
Data Entry
information GIFGiphy"A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents roughly a data transfer of 15,875 GB equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops."
Nijinsky_84
Well, the penis is far more interesting than we thought.
Isn't it?
Do you have any interesting tidbits to add? Let us know in the comments.
