"What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happen to you?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor MaxxxReddit367, who must have really been in the mood to experience what the Germans call schadenfreude.
To be fair, we can't blame them, because these stories are delicious and cringe-inducing in equal measure.
Fasten your seatbelts!
"I don't think I've ever been..."
I ran cross country in high school. I would lead stretches, meaning that both the boys and girls teams were circled around me. A buddy came up and de-pantsed me and grabbed too many layers. At least the girls team got the rear end and the guys got the front. I don't think I've ever been truly embarrassed since.
"I was working at a skating rink..."
I was working at a skating rink as a DJ & used to throw on my skates to mingle with customers. One of my skate "moves" was to drop down into the splits and pull myself back up- like this scene Michael Jackson's Bad music video.
One evening a, regular rink rat, child asked me to do the splits. I obliged him, dropped down into the splits position; however, this time I didn't come back. Fast forward to having my pants cut off by EMT and being given morphine on the skate floor (while customers continued to skate) before being taken to the hospital. I had dislocated my patella.
The story doesn't stop there because the skating rink's GM stopped into the hospital to check on me and I found it slightly odd that he rotated awkwardly from across the open space in the room, to around the bed, cutting through the medical machines (almost knocking them over) and cables to stand against the gap in the wall to talk to me by my head. Being doped up I did not realize at the time that my patient gown was thrown open and he saw all of my business...
"Here comes an employee..."Giphy
No idea if this is also the case in other countries, but here all shopping carts require a 50 cent or 1 euro coin to be put in for use. As a kid, whenever I would go shopping with my mom I would return strayed or lost carts and keep the coin.
One day I was with my mom in a huge hardware store. I saw a cart in the store, filled with all kinds of stuff. But my kid logic told me: oh its probably from an employee restocking stuff. They wouldn't mind if I were to take it right? So here I am emptying that cart, planks, cans the whole lot. I return the cart, collect the 50 cents and go to the kid corner to watch some tv or something.
Here comes an employee joined by a VERY displeased older lady. She starts screaming at me, borderline crying about how mean I am and anything. Then she walks away. I did not dare to go into that store for years after in fear of her or the employee recognizing me.
"One of my more memorable moments..."
One of my more memorable moments of my career at Target was the time I re-shelved a guests whole cart thinking it was a cart full of strays. Strays was our term for items that ended up in the wrong department or had been returned or abandoned at the checkout lanes. They would sometimes randomly show up on the floor. I had just finished up putting the items away when the lady asked if I'd seen her cart. I immediately realized what happened and admitted my mistake. Fortunately, even though the cart had been full, I remembered most of what I'd put away and was able to mostly correct the problem. Still pretty embarrassing though.
Easily the time I was breakdancing in drama class in grade 11 and kicked a girl in the face.
"Everyone in the back of the plane..."
I had the Bacchanal buffet at Ceasar's on my last day in Vegas on one of my yearly trips.
I was fine until I got on the plane. I had to poop so bad and it was going to be diarrhea. However, we were racing a storm so the flight attendants asked everyone to remain seated so we could leave. I begrudgingly agreed with my insides on fire. 25 minutes after sitting waiting to take off, they announced wed have to taxi back and go from the opposite direction for a wind shift. It was another 30 minute delay.
Then we finally get into the air and fly right into the storm. It was turbulent and would last another 10 minutes. The seat belt sign was on but I couldn't ignore it anymore. Finally went to go. I exploded as soon as I got in there.
Everyone in the back of the plane could smell it when I opened the door. One guy even called me out on it. Oh well, my fault for eating oysters on a buffet.
"My freshman year of college..."
My freshman year of college (on my 19th birthday) there was a fire in my dorm. I was in the shower when the alarm went off. Had to jump out and right then, a male RA runs in yelling that we need to evacuate immediately. I grabbed the closest towel I could find and barely covered myself up in time for him to look over. I then had to stand outside in nothing but a towel for over two hours while the fire was put out and the building was cleared. The fire was caused by some idiot microwaving tin foil. I couldn't call anyone to come get me because it was the first week of school and I hadn't made any friends who had a car yet. It was...mildly frustrating.
"My name gets unexpectedly called out..."
I was in high school and we had a prize giving ceremony during school assembly.
My name gets unexpectedly called out, so I make my way to the front of the hall to collect my prize. I'm almost at the front when I have a sudden crisis of confidence and think that I must have misheard them and there is no way they called my name, so I turn around, walk back to my chair and sit back down. My friends are looking at me and ask me what the hell I'm doing, and tell me to get back up there to collect my prize. So I get back up, walk all the way up to the front and then have ANOTHER crisis of confidence and think that my friends must have been messing with me. So I turn around and walk back to my chair and sit back down. The hall is silent and the teachers are on stage looking at me like I just landed from another planet.
"I was aggressively arrested..."
I was aggressively arrested in front of most of my coworkers and several hundred airline passengers because slack-jawed yokels of the Boone County Kentucky court system can't spell and confused my last name with a similar last name.
"I was waiting for a friend..."
I was waiting for a friend to arrive at my home. Said friend was having a severe cold, so when the doorbell rang, I ran to open the door and jokingly pulled my shirt up so it would cover my nose and mouth to prevent infection. I pulled a little too high. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I opened the door to a baffled salesman with my boobs hanging out.
He blushed. I blushed. We stared at each other for a second before I closed the door and hid in the darkest corner of my house.