Top Stories

People Break Down Their Craziest 'Oh, You're Not Joking?' Experiences

People Break Down Their Craziest 'Oh, You're Not Joking?' Experiences
Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

There's nothing more embarrassing than laughing at a story someone just told, or a question someone just asked, under the assumption that they were joking.

Only to realize a few seconds later that they weren't joking.

It happens to the best of us.

In some cases, these can be bizarre stories which we might laugh about months or years down the road.

Though more often than not, we immediately feel a foot slamming into our mouth with a vengeance.

Redditor tatemalia was eager to hear the wildest, most embarrassing of these unfortunate moments, leading them to ask:

"What's your 'Oh..You're not joking' moment?"


Oh, bless your heart.

"Had an old lady ask me when her dog would grow its leg back after an amputation."- Moctor_Drignall

Don't mind if I do

"I was eating ice cream and an old guy walking into the ice cream parlor said, 'Oh, that looks good! I'm gonna get a spoon'."

"I smiled and laughed awkwardly, until his damn spoon was in my ice cream."- KnittingTrekkie

Feedback is greatly appreciated

"It was when I met up with an online friend for the first time."

"It was surprisingly more fun than I thought it would be."

"By the end of the night, as we were waiting to get served at a restaurant, she looked at me and asked how I thought our outing went."

"I told her that I had a great time."

"But that didn't seem to do it for her."

"She proceeded to tell me about how she does this thing, at the end of every outing with her friends, where she rates and gives feedback on how well it went, what didn't go so well, and what could do with some improvement for next time."

"I laughed it off, thinking she was joking."

"It all felt too robotic and school-like for me to take seriously."

"But she definitely was serious."

"I told her to go first so I could get an idea of what she wanted and, I kid you not, she whipped out her phone and started drafting up multiple paragraphs for about 7 minutes or so."

"I felt so awkward because it was also 7 minutes of pure silence and deep concentration."

"Thankfully, I had to leave mid-way because I was needed elsewhere."

"I told her to just text me her thoughts when she was done but she insisted that that wasn't the way to do it, and it HAD to be done in person."

"I still can't believe this is something her and her friends regularly do."- reigndrops17

season 10 episode 22 GIFGiphy

We'll take the house, no need for a bag.

​"Working in a catalog store in the UK."

"You pick from the catalog, we bring it out from the warehouse."

"Lady comes in and orders the single largest thing we keep in store."

"A shed. "

"Not a particularly big shed as sheds go, but still a shed."

"'Ok madam if you give me your vehicle's registration number I'll tell the security guys to let you round the back of the store'."


"'Park in bay five and we'll load it for you'."

"'What are you talking about?'"

"'You have to park around back so we can load it into your vehicle'."

"'I don't have a vehicle'."

"'Oh, well, we have the numbers for some white van men and taxi services if you'd like to...'"



"'No just bring it up, Keith can carry it'."

"She indicates a portly man of around 50 across the room'."

"We got it into the lift diagonally, though it trapped a man behind it, and when it came up she said 'what on earth is that?'"

"'That's your shed, madam'."

"'My Keith can't carry that!'"

"'Yeah no sh*t, would you like me to call a van service for you?'"

"She actually just got a refund and left."- reverendmalerik

Race Shed GIF by CBSGiphy

That's not yours, its mine!

"I work at a hotel."

"We have this regular who comes, but usually makes reservations ahead of time, and she has her 'favorite' room she tries to get."

"Well one day she walked in, asking for a room."

"I had rooms available, but not the one she wanted, and she replied 'oh, call the guests in that room and tell them to move out so I can have it'."

"I seriously thought that was a joke and I played along, saying 'I'll get right on that,' as I was getting her info in the computer."N

"All of a sudden she said, 'aren't you going to call them?'"

"'Call who?'"

"'Those guests in that room so I can have it'."

"'Oh, you really weren't joking'."

"I told her that we don't do that, if she wanted that room she needed to call ahead."

"'I have a room, I know it's not your preferred room but it's all I've got, and you can take it or leave it, but I'm not moving a guest out'."

"She seemed almost taken aback by that, but I told her that if she didn't take the room I had she wouldn't get anything."

"She calls ahead now, but I was mortified and shocked she actually tried this stunt, and actually meant it."- llcucf80

What is the meaning of this?!

"Used to work at a big bank that bought out another, somewhat smaller but still pretty big bank about 10 years ago."

"Some guy came in all pissed off because we didn't send him a new debit card with the new bank's logo on it."

"They intentionally made it so the old ones would continue working until they were originally set to expire."

Said it was "'embarrassing'."

"'I can't be the only person who's gotten upset over this, right?'"

"Yeah homie, you were."- giantgoose

Giphy

Nah, I just do this for fun...

"Back at an old job, retail, I was wearing the uniform with the company name plastered across the front while on a ladder working on a project."

"A customer comes up to me and very seriously looks up and goes 'do you work here'?"

"I just looked at her dumbfounded and judging on her expression change, I'm guessing she quickly realized how dumb that question was."-

That's what you get for skipping math...

"I was talking to my friend the other day about smart people and he said 'the smartest equation that I know is force x acceleration = mass'."

"I said 'good one'."

"He said 'good what?'"- unhollow_knight

Oof...

"My friend said his dad left so I went on with 'oh yeah what kind of b*tches your daddy getting in the milk section at Walmart?'"

"He looked at me with the most hurt look in his eyes."- Limp_Law_3432

A rare, genuine friend.

"Met someone in an 'among us' chat one day and we got along really well."

"We played so many games together and built enough trust to exchange numbers and talk in messages In the game."

"She always talked about how she was a teen mom with twins I always chalked it up to her faking it to protect her identity from online strangers."

"Something I, and probably many others, are guilty of."


"Anyways we talked for a while before she sent me pictures of her with her babies."

"It sunk it that she wasn't lying and she proved it even more by face timing me."

"Her girls were adorable and I'll never forget that friend."

"Unfortunately I lost the phone we met on and I haven't been able to contact her since."- illbehomesoon2027

Twitch Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy

Customer service at its finest...

"This isn’t a biggie but it left me kinda annoyed."

"I was at the gym and had just started using some equipment when a trainer and his client come over to me."

"Trainer asked how long I’d be."

"I said I just started but I’d be about 10-15 more minutes."

"Trainer looks at me and said 'I’ll give you 5 minutes'.”

"I laughed, thinking he was joking."

"He didn’t laugh."

"He just said 'Go', and walked away with his client."

"Client didn’t say a word."

"I took the time I needed."- DashfulVanilla

What were they going to do with it?

"I was the silly person in this story but that’s okay."

" I was getting my blood drawn and asked if I was able to have my blood back after they tested it."

"The woman looked at me and laughed, assuming I was joking."

"It took her about 10 seconds to realize I wasn’t joking…"- bossybxtch

The children were in such good hands

"I had just started working at my current job about a month prior to this."

"A coworker and I were talking about favorite books when a younger coworker walked in and said, 'oh, I don't believe in books'."

"We laughed...she didn't."

"So I said, but...they exist, see?"

"Picked up several books to show her. She rolled her eyes and said, 'well I know books really exist, but I don't believe in reading"

"...uh...we're working at a school, proooobably not the best place to denounce books."- DishyPanHands

ryan reynolds book GIFGiphy

What world are they living in"

"When someone asked me 'Who won the civil war?'"- PothierM

It's easy to understand how these poor people thought what they had just heard was a joke.

One imagines, going forward, they might wait to laugh until after the people they were talking to start laughing.


Partner Pet Peeves: What Drives People Crazy in Relationships

Reddit user ExistingAI4149 asked: 'What are some pet peeves you've experienced with a partner?'

couple painting room
Roselyn Tirado on Unsplash

A pet peeve is defined as something a person finds especially annoying.

These tend to vary from person to person which makes them a frequent issue in relationships. From small habits to major personality traits, it's hard to know what will set someone else off.

A partner's interesting quirks or routine habits might inadvertently get on their significant others last nerve.

Keep reading...Show less

It feels like the workplace is constantly changing, especially since the pandemic, with more people working from home, more systems being automated, and more social pressure for workplaces to evolve.

But it's even more jarring to think of how much the workplace has changed for those who have been in the workforce for many decades and how seemingly every aspect of their work has changed... at least once.

Redditor LightningStrikes818 asked:

"Redditors who are 50 years old or older, what has changed the most about working when you started working vs. working nowadays?"

Dress Codes

"Skirts/dresses and pantyhose required of women in many offices through the 1990s."

- hhhmmm0

"Flipside: suits and ties, buttoned-up shirts. Brutal in summer."

- ridleyfiredome

"Pantyhose were high maintenance. I had to have an extra pair in my desk drawer in case of a major run. I had clear nail polish at home and work to stop any runs above the hemline."

"Pantyhose were expensive, I had nice department store hose for special occasions, and bulk mail order hose for daily wear. They had to be washed in mesh bags and hung to dry."

"In the summer I’d get swamp crotch when it was hot and humid, and heat rash on my thighs where they rubbed."

"Heels had to be polished and the heel tips replaced at the shoe shop. Most office clothes were dry clean only, and it was expensive, and yet another errand. Office clothes were expensive, I didn’t have many clothes, I had to plan what to wear and time the dry cleaning."

"I don’t miss the nightmare of heels and hose from the 80’s."

- phineasminius

Electrical Transfer, Who?

"Having to go to the bank to cash my paycheck."

- Cndngirl

"Oh my god, yes, and we needed to wait until after 3:00 PM to cash it."

- Big-Reflection-104

Work and... Strip Clubs?

"We took a company van with a logo on it to take out-of-town guests to a strip club. I don’t even think I can say that out loud at work today."

- scruffles360

"Strip clubs were standard practice. Especially in sales. Many deals closed in those places over my career."

- YOU_WONT_LIKE_IT

Smoking Spaces

"People smoking indoors. Clouds of smoke everywhere in the office and no way for a nonsmoker to avoid it. That was the norm so you just had to suck it up."

- andBobsyourcat

"Yes, at one stage I had the misfortune of sitting next to someone who used to smoke a pipe. I could barely see my computer screen at times for the clouds of smoke."

"Also, the IT support guy would come over to do something and he always had a cigarette dangling from his lips, dropping ash into my keyboard. Urgh! Different times!"

- MickSturbs

Office Parties of Old

"Man, in state government, all the older employees have similar stories of work parties in the 90s. Booze everywhere, smoking, people dancing, and having fun. Everyone brought their spouses, etc."

"Now you're lucky if you see a Christmas cake. People wonder why everything feels like it's coming apart at the seams and people are so unhappy. That aspect of being a human being fun, even at work is gone."

- t00sl0w

"I'm a millennial in industrial equipment sales, and it genuinely feels like you showed up to a party about an hour after everyone was gone."

"Nowadays, I can't even have a beer with dinner and expect to expense it."

- titsmuhgeeee

"Oh man, the office Christmas parties then, versus now?? Forget about it. Like comparing a wedding to a funeral."

- Schyznik

Safety Precautions

"I'm 42 but feel like I want to chime in."

"Health and safety has changed loads. You wouldn't get away with half the sh*t we did when I was 17."

- section4

Constantly, Always Sitting

"I watched office work go from sedentary to virtually immobile. We used to retrieve paper files, pass memos around, and consult with coworkers in other sections and floors."

"Now everything is available on the screen in front of us, everything can be shared with a few clicks. It’s convenient, but so unhealthy."

- MathematicianWitty23

What's a Pension Again?

"Hardly anybody has a pension anymore."

- whitewolfdogwalker

"That's where I feel really lucky to be in Australia, we have mandatory superannuation (a percentage of your pay plus employer contribution goes into a fund for your retirement) and most people will also qualify for an age care pension in addition to their super."

"The pension isn't really enough for our current seniors who don't have much super (due to the timeline of when it was introduced) but generations after that should be relatively well set up for retirement."

- TheGardenNymph

Work Availability in General

"I'm in the UK."

"It was a great deal easier to find work. You'd get vacancies posted in various places and could go down to the Job Centre, browse vacancies posted on postcards on boards, pick out the jobs you were interested in, and get a member of staff to arrange an interview for you. Just like that."

"Dress codes were more formal and you actually had to go to work. If you worked in an office for the right company work finished Friday lunchtime when you'd go with your colleagues to the pub. You'd go back after the 'liquid' lunch hour and work Friday afternoon, but no sh*t got done and work piled up for Monday."

"You got paid either direct debit, cash or if you were unlucky by cheque. You had to deposit your cheque in the bank or building society and wait for the cheque to clear, usually four days, but sometimes 10 days. If you got paid cash you'd get it in a small brown envelope known as a wage packet which listed all deductions on the outside. It still felt good to tear open the wage packet and take out the cash."

- ElvishMystical

The Value of Employees

"That you chose a career, and you worked for an employee, and they valued your experience. You rose in the ranks of your profession, you became a valued team member, and you stayed until you retired."

"Changing jobs often is frowned on; if you make a job commitment, you follow through on it. People get bothered and quit/move/change really quickly now. That's not necessarily bad, but it has created a gap in expertise; everyone is new all the time, and there isn't any value in having experience."

"If you happen to be an elder in your field with some level of legacy knowledge; it doesn't seem to matter because your boss is likely younger than you and less experienced."

"There used to be jobs what you did to get paid and live, and careers, what you did because you wanted to invest time into being good at something, AND that was how you made a living."

"Moreover, you went to school to be in a career. So you put time and energy into attaining your job, therefore you'd want to stay in it and grow. In theory."

"I'm not sure anyone cares about being in a career anymore. Because we all feel so betrayed by the system; wages not keeping up with COL, inflation, (and inflation subsiding and prices staying high because it's what the market will bear), and when everyone is replaceable, then no one is an expert."

"I'm GenX. I work in healthcare. I work in a broken system that no one actually wants to fix. Those of us working in this system are now just grist for the mill. It's too bad because we spent a lot of time and money going to school to be able to work in our chosen field."

"In contrast, my mom was also a nurse. She had a career. She worked in it until she was 70 and retired. She worked with a team that mostly stayed the same, over decades. I don't work with anyone I started with at my job six years ago."

- bunnehfeet

Business Phones

"People used to answer their business phones."

- BornFree2018

"Oh my god, work landline numbers. I never see those anymore. I don’t even have a phone number in my email signature at work anymore."

"And business cards used to be such a big deal. I used to get really excited to see my name and title in print. I would always send my parents one when I got a new job. What a dork!"

- ptpoa120000

What Work-Life Balance?

"There was a lot more understanding back in the 80's and 90's that each employee had a life outside of work, and work would end at 5:00 PM. You could leave work and go do something that you liked, maybe a martial arts class or some learning workshop somewhere."

"There were no phone calls. Text messages and email hadn't happened yet. Pagers were rare. People were in better shape. They had time to workout and were encouraged by their bosses to go do something to keep in shape."

"These days, it's the opposite. There's no encouragement from your boss or your coworkers other than to just work around the clock. You're never 'off.' Emails, text messages, Slack messages, video calls, and 'tickets' from your company's internal issue tracking system come in at all hours of the day."

"You're tracked in every way possible these days. You're given impossible deadlines. It now takes incredible willpower to break free and 'sneak' away to go workout. You're exhausted all the time, so you lose the desire to workout. You just want sleep."

"Instead of meeting up with friends somewhere for dinner, you are happy to just get home, get something hot to eat from your microwave, and numb yourself by watching YouTube and Reddit."

"What you do now during your downtime is very low quality and is just done to unwind from the stress that follows you no matter where you are. They call this Flex Time, and its purpose is ostensibly to give you the ability to walk away from your work and go enjoy life. Funny."

- mhv64sj

New Measures of Success

​"Working for a company for many years was seen as honorable and a sign you were a good worker."

"Now it’s viewed as someone complacent, scared of change, and stupid for not salary hopping."

"I don’t disagree, though; I’ve been at my company for a long time and it’s anything but complacent and always changing."

- MysteryMeat11

"This is why we in-betweeners especially (between gen-x and millennial) have been conflicted and confused about it all. We were raised by older boomers and heard it's best to stay with companies because it looks bad on resumes to not and can even affect your buying things like houses and cars."

"But then when we did, we were let go during times like the recession and cutbacks having to start all over again, on top of not getting raises like the new hires and then confused because we were told staying and being loyal looked good and led to success."

- fidgetypenguin123

A Literal Paper Trail

"Paper. Lots of paper."

"Before email, there were people (secretaries or admins) who would take a memo someone printed out on their computer, make physical copies, and either walk around to every executive’s desk, or put into inter-office mail. This memo could be to a few people, one person, or for a general announcement needed to go to everyone."

"For expediency, these memos would also be posted in public areas (lunchroom, messaging board) if it was a general notice. These memos were often routed from the head manager throughout the department if it was more for general information."

"We once had a wave of new hires (about 20 people in our company of 400) and each got their own announcement. So, 20 people and 50 copies was two reams of paper. Copied. Hand carried or inter-department mailed. For one set of announcements."

"Oh, and each department admin had their own routing slip (small piece of paper with each person in the department’s name) that was stapled to the announcement. When you got the memo, you read it, crossed your name off, and gave it to the next person on the list."

"That’s where 'they must not have gotten the memo' comes from."

- UncleGizmo

It's interesting to look back on how things have changed. While some things have definitely improved, like improved safety precautions and more relaxed attire, other things like a sense of work-life balance have certainly declined.

If people were able to choose their working conditions, it'd be interesting to see if they'd choose today's working conditions or a different work-life balance...

There are countless tropes in movies and books that people love to follow.

From enemies to lovers, to final girls, to certain types of jump scares, there are people who will read a book or watch a movie simply because their favorite trope has been promised to be in there!

A much-loved trope is the strong female main character, or even the strong female sidekick, and fortunately, they're becoming much more commonly represented.

Keep reading...Show less

We've all heard creepy rumors or legends that have made falling to sleep far more challenging than necessary.

Such as ghosts that supposedly haunt old buildings or alligators supposedly lurking in sewer systems.

If there's anything guaranteed to send shivers down the spine of superstitious or panic-stricken individuals, it's learning that the terrifying information they've just been told is fact, and not fiction.

Making one nervous to step out their door in the morning, let alone fall asleep.

Redditor mimiqttt was eager to hear the most utterly spine-tingling facts people knew, leading them to ask:

"What are some creepy facts you know?"

For The Sake Of Transparency...

"Box Jellyfish are not only the most venomous jellies to humans, but they also possess at least 24 functional eyes (of various degree) on its body despite having no centralized brain."

"Four of its eyes always peer up out of the water regardless of the animal's body position."

"Some eyes can make out images, others are more primitive."- Southern_Gator

The Last Thing You'll Ever Hear...

"Hearing is the last sense you lose before dying."- HorrorPusherr

Talk About Keeping You Up At Night...

"Hundreds of people die every year."

"From being strangled by their bedsheets."- bender0x7d1

Sunny Day Bed GIF by VVS FILMSGiphy

Say Cheese!

"If all bacteria in a cheese decided to move in the same direction the cheese would move quite a distance in a day."- Worldly-Traffic-5503

Deserving Of A Raised Brow...

"Due to human artificial selection, dogs are evolving eyebrows."- Light_of_Niwen

Beyond An Existential Problem...

"There is a condition where you just think you’re dead or don’t exist."

"People who have it sometimes stop eating because they think they’re dead."- BlueCanary434

Sad Halloween GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy

Among The Many Reasons You Should Always Knock...

"One of the most common places to find a dead body is on the toilet."

"Cause when they're alive and not feeling well, the first thing they do is go to the toilet thinking it could be a bowel issue."-pumpkinthighs

Dubious Honor...

"Herculaneum is better preserved than Pompeii, it just hasn't been excavated as much."

"Pompeii was essentially destroyed by falling volcanic rock, it's dead later being buried by ash after rigor had set in."

"Herculaneum was destroyed by pyroclastic flows so hot that the liquids in people's bodies turned to vapor and exploded instantly."

"Currently, the population in the area is so large that the Italian government is having a hard time deciding whether or not it's worth it to warn or evacuate them or not."-Reddit

Can't Say It Ran In The Family

"In a strange and semi creepy coincidence, Robert Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was saved from falling off a train platform and being run over by Edwin Booth, brother of John Wilkes Booth."- Infamous-Piece3783

train tracks natgeo channel GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphy

A Job Not Fit For The Human Race.

"Cadaver dogs can smell bodies through waters."

"Lakes , etc."- PlaysTheTriangle

...BWAHAHAHAHAHA...

"If you build something in your yard against HOA rules, then it’s called an unwanted erection."- thecookiesmonster

When Your Body Starts Gaining Up On You...

"Your eyes have their own immune system that works separately from your body’s immune system."

"If your body’s immune system found out it would attack your eyes."

"I read this here and at my last eye appointment I asked if it was true."

"The eye doctor said 'Yeah, it’s kinda weird' and I was like 'kinda?'"- McSmackthe1st

Eyes Blink GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy

Pretty And Delicate On The Outside...

"If given access to it, butterflies will happily drink blood."- supermarketblues

The Only Thing Scarier Than One Black Hole...

"During the merger of two black holes, a black holes can occasionally get ejected from the system and get shot out into open space and become a wandering black hole."

"The creepy part for me is that because a large part of the way in which we see black holes is through their interactions with their surroundings we wouldn’t really be able to see it coming towards us."- rflok34

Vanity Is A Sin, After All...

'Everyone who has ever owned the HOPE DIAMOND has met some sort of gruesome, untimely death."- QuietRulrOfEvrything

diamond supply GIFGiphy

The world is a fascinating, often terrifying place.

Perhaps why some people firmly believe ignorance is bliss.

On the other hand, knowledge is power.

So if you see a school of jellyfish, you all now know better than to think they can't also see you...