If you're a parent, you have to accept that you won't always have complete control over your kids. We're not even saying that they'll be malicious hellions –– we're saying they'll embarrass the hell out of you. Kids are experts at that.
After Redditor Thornsy1 asked the online community, "Parents of Reddit, what is the most embarrassing thing your child has done in public?" parents shared stories of kids saying and doing things at the most inappropriate times, and while we're embarrassed for them, we can't help but admit we want more laughing material!
"I was heavily pregnant..."
I was heavily pregnant with my second kid and my oldest was 2 at the time. We were at my OB/GYN appointment waiting to be called. This random guy walks out with his wife from the where the doctor rooms are and my oldest jumps out his chair screams 'Daddy?! DADDY!' and runs to the random guy. This guy looked mortified and awkward and said 'Uh sorry buddy. I'm not.' My son looked nothing like this guy and it was extremely embarrassing trying waddle up to this guy and try to pry my 2 year old off a random man.
"She didn't even tell me..."
Pushing her in a cart at Home Depot. She just slowly looks at me and says "I couldn't hold it" and I'm like wait what? Then I look behind us to see a long line of urine on the floor. She didn't even tell me she had to go.
"I'm fairly confident..."
One of my daughters, around age 3 or 4, was with her somewhat socially conservative grandmother (mind your P's and Q's, be polite, be on your best behavior, etc) in a small town (everybody knows everbody) grocery store. Grandma introduces my daughter to someone shes known in town for decades.
"Jenny, this is Ms. Longtimefriend." The friend bends down, extends a hand to my daughter and says "Hello. I've known your grandma forever. I'm Ms. Longtimefriend". My daughter takes her hand and says "Hello I'm Jenny" and then, turning around and bending over grabs her butt cheeks and, doing her best Ace Ventura imitation, says "And this is my talking booty!"
I'm fairly confident that, 20 years later, I have yet to be forgiven for allowing my daughter to have seen that movie.
"We told him everything..."
My 4 year old had about a million questions about the body, and eventually started asking where babies come from. We told him everything except what sex was. Fast forward, I'm at lunch with my son, my mother-in-law, and three of her friends. One of the friends turns to my son and asks how old he is and when his birthday is. My son replies to a 75-year-old woman, "I came out of my mom's vagina on April 25." I tried my best not to laugh and quickly changed the subject.
"My son asked..."Giphy
My son asked an overweight dude if he was having twins. Guy took it in stride, but man.
"Serves me right."
My family went to a theme park and tickets were half price for kids 5 and under. I walked up to the ticket booth and asked for two adult tickets and one under five ticket, to which my kid protested "I'M SIX, DADDY!"
Serves me right.
"My kids and I were playing..."
My kids and I were playing at a local park, running around in the grass and stuff. It was a nice day, so it was pretty crowded. My son was almost 3 and my daughter was nearly two. I bent down to tie my shoe, and when I looked up, my son had pulled down his shorts and undies and was just peeing right in the middle of the field. I was mortified.
"My son swam right up to him..."
Was at the community swimming pool with my oldest son when he was 6 or 7. One of the people in the pool, who we didn't know, was a guy who was probably north of 400 lbs. Massive fellow.
My son swam right up to him and asked "Do you know about the X-men? Because you look just like a guy who is in X-men comics. He's called the Blob. That's so cool!"
The guy gave him a confused look and I grabbed my son by the shoulder and pulled him away. I wanted to be proud of my son for his comic book reference, but I had to swallow that and explain to my son that he just might have possibly hurt the guy's feelings and that in the future he shouldn't compare people to the Blob.
"After standing in line for a bit..."
Standing in line with my 6 year old daughter at an amusement park. There is a guy behind us in a casual button-up shirt with a print on it. After standing in line for a bit, I noticed the print is not dots, but flies printed as the pattern. I thought it was interesting, but I knew exactly when my 6 year old noticed because she blurts out "your shirt is disgusting!". I had a hard time not laughing and the guy thought it was pretty funny.
"My daughter would repeatedly say..."
The most embarrassed I've felt with kids was from something I said. My daughter would repeatedly say "I love you" after she'd been fussed at for bad behavior. So I reprimanded her in Target and she just keeps saying it over and over and I got annoyed and raised my voice saying "DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME." Oooowweeee did I get some nasty looks.
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