People Break Down The Most Disturbing Archeological Discoveries Of All-Time
Archeology can be really cool. Finding and analyzing artifacts to put together stories about the world before we came to be is very interesting, and every now and then, archeologists find something unbelievable and amazing.
The Rosetta Stone, The Terracotta Warriors, and King Tut’s tomb all painted a picture of history and presented us with amazing sights. My imagination was sparked!
Archeology can also be downright creepy and disturbing. Pompeii is pretty up there when it comes to disturbing archeological discoveries, but it’s not the only one.
Curious to find out about more, Redditor Numuhiki asked:
"What is, in your opinion, the most disturbing archaeological discovery?"
The Desperation Of Hunger
"Archaeology student here. Here’s one I learned in class. A pueblo village went through a horrible drought and famine. A dwelling was found with the remains of a family that had died violently and had several cut marks all over their body. They also found a human coprolite (ancient poop). It is common practice to run chemical analyses of coprolites to figure out a person’s last meal. It was human flesh. The DNA of the flesh particles matched the DNA of the family. Somebody murdered and ate the family, then pooped in the house."
"People do awful things when they are starving. Early colonists in Jamestown also ate people when they had no food during a harsh winter."
Crossing With Cruelty
"When I was visiting Savanah I did a kayak tour through Ebenezer Creek. Hundreds of freed slaves followed the Union amy on Sherman's March to the sea. The union army was being sporadically shelled by in the rear by the confederates."
"The union army built a bridge over the marshy, alligator infested Ebenezer Creek and told the freed people at the rear they could cross once his 14,000 troops had crossed first. Deciding that the freed people had become a burden however, he ordered the bridge to be cut, abandoning 600-1000 freed slaves on the western bank. The freed slaves had only death or re-enslavement behind them. Panicked, they opted for near certain death in the waters. Most of the men, women and children died attempting to cross. A few made it and tried to make rafts to help the others. Davis had no remorse for his actions and was defended by Sherman."
"Some amount of bones have been brought up, but mosty the Creek remains a watery grave."
The End Of The World
"Evidence of a second extinction event level meteor impact."
"It kind of means that extinction event meteors not only have happened, but are not all that rare of a thing when you take the age of the Earth into consideration."
Run, Run, As Fast As You Can
"There's an Ancestral Puebloan story passed down by the Navajo of a Gambler who came up from the South and enslaved the A.P.s, forcing them to build great cities where they did not want to live and perform rituals involving cannibalism. Archaeologists later discovered South American parrot feathers and human bones with stone scrapings (evidence of cannibalism) in Chaco Canyon, a civilization that showed signs of early abandonment due to it's low amount of burials and trash pits."
"Vikings' burial sites are pretty disturbing. They were often buried with their wives, slaves and horses."
"The way Ötzi the Iceman died was pretty gruesome too."
"Also, all of the mass graves of the past plagues. I live in a city where a couple of years ago a mass grave of hundreds of 19th century cholera victims was discovered. We knew they were there somewhere, we've been finding bones in the ground for years, the discovery was still a shock for people who basically live now on this graveyard..."
Take Care Of The Kids
"Infant Sacrifices in ancient Carthage. This is sort of debated because we don’t have direct evidence of child sacrifice, the is no big bloody alter labeled “burn babies here”. But what we do have is Roman accounts of child sacrifice in Carthage. On its own that isn’t super damming, the Roman’s accused everyone they didn’t like of doing human sacrifices. The part that’s disturbing is the remains of infant cremations mixed in with cremated animal remains. This may have just been a Carthaginian burial tradition, an animal sacrifice accompanying a lost child. However the odd thing is that the infant/animal cremations are found separate from other burials which suggests that these infant cremations were somehow different."
Cover Your Ears
"The Aztec death whistle. It was used to mimic the cries of a human by the Aztec possibly during rituals or in the battlefield, and it worked a little too well. It is very unsettling to hear."
"There was an ancient predecessor to the American Bison found frozen and perfectly preserved for tens of thousands of years. Naturally, the researchers took a piece of the flesh, cooked it, then ate it."
The Honest Truth
"Advent of farming made those who practiced it physically weaker, shorter, less healthy, and reduced lifespans overall. Up until recently it was assumed the opposite was true"
"The levels of violence in ancient history. I have a friend who is an archaeologist in Latin America and often mentions how many of the famous archaeological sites in the region do a lot of work to cover up many of the nastier and more violent discoveries. For example, my friend took me to the archaeological site of Monte Alban in Oaxaca many of the carvings and paintings on the temples and buildings around the site feature people with what looks like ornate flowers around their midsection. Most tour guides mention the flowery nature of the carvings and how beautiful they are. In reality, the flowers were the Zapotec people's way of depicting blood, and the scenes are carvings of forced/ritual castration."
Death And Sacrifice And Graves, Oh My!
"I have three, the first being the mass grave of over 100 children and baby llamas that were found in peru. Sacrificed by the Inca. The second being the wreck of the Empress of Ireland. The ship sank so quickly that most people couldn’t get out so the ocean liner is still riddled with human remains. The stewards cabin is well known for this. The third being the famous French catacombs. The fact that thousands of remains were dug up and moved, those who still had flesh on them were boiled and stripped before being added to the piles..edit..reading some others reminded me of the semi recent discovery of brain cells from a young man in Herculaneum having been turned into glass from the intense heat..also the story of port royal in Jamaica in general being hit with an earthquake, the ground literally liquifying then a tsunami that wiped the city off the map..plus apparently there were a lot of bodies at least partly buried after being sucked into the ground"
No Chance Of A Second Life
"Well I don’t know of many, the most recent one which has caused a lot of hoo ha is the one about a woman being accused as a vampire and being buried with a sickle around her neck so that if she comes back to life she’s killed again instantly."
Preserved In Ash
"A whole tribe or something like that was found buried under a bunch of ashes from a volcano eruption that's just covered them all and left them in the way they were when they got covered like some playing with kids on the road and family's hugging and a that"
Preserved In Ice
"I can't remember exactly where, but a group of bodies were found in a mountain range. Dead soldiers from 2000 years ago that froze and were nearly perfectlt preserved. People originally thought the bodies were from recent times."
"There are a multitude of strange coral structures in the bottom of the Red Sea, in the Gulf of Aquaba, strewn across the bottom of the gulf in a roughly belt-like manner."
"These coral structures are roughly cylindrical, with a wide, round base, a narrow haft extending vertically, and a wide round top that is roughly the same diameter as the base."
"It doesn’t take much imagination to wonder if these corals grew around the wheel and axle assemblies of overturned chariots…"
Under The Sea
"Wasn't there an ancient city built by the ocean that succumbed to the sea? If I remember correctly, they found layer after layer of lost cities over time underwater because we continued making the same mistake over hundreds of years."
"There are probably others, but much of Alexandria in Egypt that Cleopatra knew is under the sea"
"The Silurian hypothesis! Long and short is it ponders the question of what if we’re not the first industrialized species on this planet? How so? Our species has been industrialized since let’s say 1800. So only 200 years of meaningful tech, and been around for 10,000 years tops as some form of society. Imagine in 4.5 billion years, how many times could this exact scenario have happened? Even in 100 million years it’s enough time to rise as a species and die and most everything would be gone, and given enough time anything left could even be consumed by tectonic plates. The interesting thing is, the most obvious sign of industrialized civilization that we know of, spikes in carbon dioxide, have been discovered, most recently to us is 56 million years ago, but there are 6 or 7 total that have been identified throughout history. It’s kind of ominous to think an entire sources could have be born, rise to greatness, and disappear completely without a trace, multiple times. We may very well be just the 8th iteration of this happening without even knowing it."
"It's not exactly archaeological but it's somewhat adjacent. In my hometown area in Massachusetts there's a manmade reservoir called the Quabbin, several towns were eminent domained and forced to move to create a water supply for Boston. As part of the process they had to demolish houses and dig up graveyards. More than a few bodies had to be moved into new coffins and they discovered more than a few people had been mistakenly buried alive. How did they know? They found scratches on the lids of the coffins and lining material under their nails."
"There is a whole thing called Coffin Birth, too, but luckily everyone is already dead at that point. Basically, if a woman dies with her baby still in the womb or in the birth canal, as she decomposes, the gases produced force the baby out and 'birth' it. So, if you open the coffin of a woman who died in labour, you might find the remains of a baby between her legs."
An Honorable Death
"There were several child mummies found in the Andes as part of human sacrifice rituals. They were supposedly drugged, sealed into an underground room and died from exposure. I guess it’s not that disturbing if it was considered highly honorable to die that way by Incan society"
"The antivampiric burials in Poland are more fascinating than truly disturbing. Would hate to be buried alive and have my head chopped off by a sickle if I tried to escape my tomb."
"My surname is actually the name of the Polish folklore vampiric creature so I wonder how that came to be..."
And with that last one, I’ve heard enough! I’ll find out about other disturbing archeological discoveries on a different day.
People Break Down Which Bad Movies They Absolutely Love
Cinema aficionados love to enjoy discussing and engaging in debates about their respective favorite films.
While there are many excellent movies in historical cinema, fans also enjoy trash-talking the absolute worst films ever made.
What they don't disclose, however, is the fact that they embarrassingly enjoy campy films and appreciate revisiting them behind closed doors.
Curious to hear about the films moviegoers secretly enjoy and appreciate while being cognizant of the fact that they're total garbage, Redditor HorsesSuck120 asked:
"What movie do you enjoy that you will 100% agree is a bad movie?"
Action movies don't aim to win an Oscar. Nevertheless, there's definitely an audience for them–even the really bad ones.
We Dig That One-Liner
"The Core. I’m paraphrasing here, but there’s a portion in the movie where everyone says it can’t be done; but one guy takes a drag on a cig and says: 'but what if…we could'. The entire movie progresses on that point."
Oldie But Goodie
"Flash Gordon was released in 1980, but re-released this year in 4K. Bad, but in the best way. (And that Queen soundtrack!)"
It Kept Their Afloat
"Deep Blue Sea. I mostly enjoy that one unexpected scene. Check it out!"
"Street fighter with Raul Julia as Bison and Kylie Minogue as Cammy."
"Oh, and a Samoan bloke as E Honda, because 90’s."
From Zero To 60
"Gone in 60 Seconds . Say what you will , but I can watch this everyday."
Campy films will always have a place in some moviegoers' hearts.
Dumb And Fun
"Fool’s gold. It’s a dumb movie that makes no sense but for some reason I go back and watch it at least once a year and enjoy it every time."
Can't Beat Funny
"Accepted. It's terrible and hilarious, has Justin Long at the peak of his teen movie years, and features Lewis Black as a version of himself as a jaded professor. So good."
We Love Ah-nold
"Batman & Robin is certainly a bad movie. I love it so much. It’s worth watching for Arnold and his puns alone. But the whole movie is just campy fun."
Sometimes we prefer the quantity of fantasy and animation films–regardless of quality.
"You know what killed the dinosaurs?"
"The ICE AGE"
"League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's so much fun and I love the Nautilus."
Wolverine Wouldn't Approve
"Van Helsing. It's Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale ala the glory days of 2004. It's got a 27% on rotten tomatoes,. 6/10 on IMDb but there's something about the dry jokes smattered in what's supposed to be high tension scenes, or scenes of sexual tension. The special effects aren't the greatest but at the same time it also adds to the experience."
Hands down, the worst movie ever made in my opinion has to be the campy 1995 erotic film noir Showgirls directed by Paul Verhoeven.
The trite premise and performances in the unintentionally comedic drama were so embarrassing to watch, but the movie wound up becoming more entertaining for those reasons.
Elevating the rewatchable factor of Showgirls is the DVD commentary by solo comedy performer David Schmader, who leaves plenty of repeatable quotes that are absolutely hilarious.
Highly recommended viewing.
Some people just can't take a joke.
While we often find ourselves making sarcastic remarks amongst our inner circles, which are usually taken in stride, the same type of humor doesn't always go over quite as well with everyone.
Some might not see the humor in it and are easily hurt or offended.
In some cases, they might even get downright angry, making you realize all too late that this is the type of person you should never f**k with under any circumstance.
In these cases, people might have learned too late, but thankfully there are often some pretty telltale signs of when you are in the presence of someone you should never f**k with under any circumstances.
"What is a dead giveaway someone is not to be f**ked with?"
Just Don't Risk It. Ever...
"If you can't tell by looking, it's best not to f**k with anyone."- gregariousnatch
Don't Let Their Focus Fool You
"1000 yard/ disassociated stare."
"Especially when in a confrontation."
"That person is not all there and when they go they will GO."- OGschtinkie
Not As Tough As He Thought He Was
"Dude I used to work with who was absolutely massive got punched really hard once on a night out, unprovoked."
"He simply looked at the dude, smiled a wide genuine grin & said 'why would you do that man?'"
"The guy who hit him did not try for a second punch."- jinxsaysPunch You Oh No GIF by GritTVGiphy
Lighting A Match Around Spilled Gas...
"When they try to diffuse the situation instead of talking sh*t."- SeenY64
It's All In Their Carriage
"There's just a way that some people carry themselves."
"As a tiny nerd in 8th grade I accidentally became friends with a 7th grader from a very rough background."
"That was the moment I stopped being bullied, and my buddy genuinely never did a thing."
"I knew he was involved in some horrific violence, but in the time we spent together, he never put his hands on anyone."
"Basically the moment he turned to the offending person and assumed *that* posture and *that* stare, the argument was over."
"So I remembered that for ever, and now whenever I see people carry themselves like that I assume they're hardcore."- curmudgeonpl
"The biggest giveaway for me has always been someone looking around in a situation where they are about to have to fight."
"A person in their face yelling or posturing at them, and they aren't looking at that person at all."
"But are instead looking over them or around past them."
"That is someone who is about to f*ck another person up."
"If you are ever mad at someone, or shouting at someone, and they start looking past you, behind you, or to the sides, you are about to get f*cked up."- GeneralDisturbedlooking history channel GIF by Endemol BeyondGiphy
Size Doesn't Matter
"Never f*ck with the small bouncer."
"The big guys got hired because they’re big and intimidating."
"The little guy got hired because he’ll f**k you up."- shandragon
When In Doubt, Be Kind
"Spent a large chunk of my teenage years in juvenile correctional facilities and getting into stupid sh*t."
"Between age 14 - 20 I had been in more fist fights than some UFC fighters (quantity not quality)."
"I have nerve damage in my hands and they get stiffer and clumsier as I get older, had to pick up painting miniatures to keep fine motor control."
"I have tattoos to cover the scars at work (IT job)."
"With that I have learned:"
"1: Loud guys are soft guys. They want to be loved and accepted, but start sh*t out of fear they’ll be rejected or as a reaction to rejection."
"2: Cauliflower ear." They probably know what they’re doing.Avoid unless you’re a seasoned fighter or also know what you’re doing."
"3: Smart guys.They might not be the fastest or strongest, but they’ve learned the kinetics of fighting - momentum, balance, and gravity. 1 kid kept a hand towel near him at all times and used it in a fight and almost killed another kid once (caught his arm when he swung, wrapped, twisted, and flung him into a toilet and gave him a concussion)."
"4: Guys that walked slow and never broke eye contact. They weren’t afraid of anything and more often than not had a high pain tolerance. Usually pretty quiet."
"5: bulky/muscular guys aren’t always 'good fighters'. But if they caught you lacking - it was lights out."
"Most importantly though - I learned you don’t f*ck with anybody."
"The wirey funny guy always cracking jokes could be the one take you out of your shoes."
"And, some people can just snap."
"The guy that gets f*cked with can be the one that pops and that adrenaline rush gave the burst of strength to suplex you into a concrete bench."
"Be kind to everyone until you’re forced to not be so kind."- VadersbffBe Nice GIFGiphy
They Look Bruised And Beaten For A Reason
"You look at the hands."
"If the knuckles are all chewed up on a big set of meat hooks that dude has punched quite a few things and people."
"Also never fight stupid people."
"They don't know when to stop."
"They will just keep pounding your face until its mush."- punchinthelunch
Beware The Strong Silent Types...
"Those quiet people have a lot bottled up."
"They’ve been through it all in life."
"Don’t be the one to open it up."- Appropriate-Ad-2068
Calm Under Pressure
"Never f*ck with the person who is calmly minding their own business while everyone is freaking out/highly tense."
"That person’s seen some sh*t."
"Conversely, you shouldn’t f*ck with someone who is seemingly nervous in a calm situation."
"They have also seen some sh*t."
"I remember seeing this girl, she was a high-strung mess of a person, who just wanted to sit alone for lunch and chill by herself."
"She literally went to eat outside during the winter bc the boys kept messing with her and picking on her."
"At some point one of the guys tried to grab her arm, and I kid you not, she turned around and automatically beat the sh*t out of him."
"Didn’t miss a beat, and this dude was allegedly sent to the hospital."
"Happened years ago in middle school."
"She was always a nervous wreck, but since then, no one messed with her."- rzrbladessSucker Punch Fight GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy
Most Idioms Come From A Place Of Truth
"Usually quiet, calm when confronted."
"The phrase 'the loudest one in the room is the one who is scared the most' is usually true."- Boringdad25
When push comes to shove, and as many people above have noted, it's never a particularly wise decision to f**k with anyone.
Whether or not they possess the telltale signs.
People Explain Which Things Scream 'I Peaked In High School'
No two people had the same high school experience.
Some of us just can't wait to put the years of popularity cliques, varsity jocks, and drama club nepotism behind them, and find themselves flourishing in their college and professional careers.
For others, high school was the greatest time of their lives, and they remain BFFs with their high school friends and would give anything to spend their afternoons chilling at their local hangout, getting drunk under the bleachers, and reliving their senior prom.
With some exceptions, these are the people who have trouble adjusting to life in college, even professionally.
Some might even say, these are the ones who "peaked" in high school.
"What screams “this person peaked in high school” to you?"
Let's Be, Like, Entreprenurial!
"Hey girl hey!"
"'Do you wanna be your own boss babe while working from home?!'"
"And its just a pyramid scheme."- Tyler_origami94Scam Pyramid Scheme GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy
Dude, Get Over It!
"I had a conversation in a bar with a drinking buddy years ago."
"The guy kept going on about 'the one that got away'."
"How perfect she was and their chemistry together, how natural it was, how he hasn't felt that way about any girl since, yadda yadda."
"He was feeling pretty sorry for himself and uninterested in meeting anyone else because they could never compare."
"When I asked how long ago it was that she moved away, he said "8th grade."
Reliving The Glory Days
"I graduated in 05."
"I was sitting at a tire shop waiting for my truck to get done and an employee slightly older than me walks up to me and asks me, with no previous interaction, if I played football in high school."
"Wondering where this was going, I responded that I did, but I wasn’t great at it."
"He asked what school I went to, and I told him."
"Then he starts talking about himself."
"How he was 'all conference' and walking me through all of his high school accolades."
"I never asked for this conversation."
"I just sat there wondering why this nearly 40 year old, wildly out of shape, tire shop supervisor was telling me all of this."
"Then just as soon as it started he bid me good day and walked off."
"It was bizarre."
"The best comparison I could make was that he was like the manager 'Dan' from the movie waiting."
"That was his vibe."
"That’s how I knew he peaked in high school."- aznukedenzel washington football GIFGiphy
Still Thinking Mean And Cool Are The Same Thing
"Still acting like a typical 'Mean Girl' when they're damn near (or past) 30."- cpsg1995
"Anyone who bullies other adults as if they were still in High School."- pkeit32
Not Something To Brag About...
"Bragging about high-school hookups in their thirties."- SuvenPanBragging Season 2 GIF by The BoysGiphy
"My ex stepmother constantly bragged about being a cheerleader in high school and winning a beauty walk (in a town of like 500 people)."
"She was still bragging about these the last time I saw her."
"She was in her mid 40s."- jewelsforfools
In Case Anyone Needed Reminding...
"One guy I knew literally got our school emblem and mascot in a huge 'CLASS OF 2010' tattooed on his shoulder."- Empowered_Jackfruit
Same Old, Same Old...
"Regularly reposting the same picture of the one notable moment that they had in high school."- MissingDartsSad Book GIF by HollyoaksGiphy
Taking Others Down To Pick Yourself Up...
"Ridiculing the hobbies of others to make yourself look good."- littlebubulle
But Are They?
"'These are the best years of your life' on repeat."- Spirited_Tadpole_508
When Life Is Still A Popularity Contest
"Almost 10 years after high school a guy asked me if one of my friends 'was popular in high school'."- satirevaitneicsBut I Cant Help It That Im Popular Mean Girls GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"The people that ask you to join those MLM schemes selling body wraps or the like."
"Anyone that has a 'salt life' decal on their car when they live nowhere near the ocean or even a salt mine."- Static_Discord
There's nothing wrong with holding on to special memories of days gone by.
But growing up is part of life, and people who choose to keep living in the past are missing out on so many wonderful new discoveries life has to offer.
Women Reveal How They Really Feel When A Close Friend Confesses They Have Feelings For Them
Relationships -- any kind of relationship -- can be difficult to navigate. This is especially true when the nature of your relationship changes, or at least your feelings do.
It can be daunting when one person in the relationship starts to look at your bond differently... when one friend begins to view another in a romantic way. What happens then?
The women of Reddit have shared their stories of what happened when a close friend of theirs confessed to having romantic feelings for them, and as always, the stories are all very different.
Curious to find out more, Redditor Necessary_Produce515asked:
“Women, how does it make you feel when a close guy friend admits he has feelings for you?"
Lose A Good Friend
"uncomfortable. because 9/10 times, the friendship dies after they confess their feelings to you. especially if you start dating someone."
"I ruined a friendship with a good woman over this. Sucks. You want to shoot your shot because it could be awesome . . . . But you end up making it weird and uncomfortable for the woman. Especially if the woman is magnetic and they get hit on all the time it can really mess up a friendship."
– Deleted User
A Little Advice
"This is only from my experience but --"
"Women: You cannot treat your guy friends like your girl friends. You cannot treat your guy friends like your girl friends. You cannot treat your guy friends like your girl friends."
"If you want a guy friend, then you need to treat him like -other guys- treat their guy friends."
"It's not 100% accurate -- there are definitely guys out there that can do the guy as a girl thing, but for the most part, if you treat your guy friends like you do your girl friends, they will catch feels. They will misinterpret your emotional bonding as more -- especially if you are the more physically touchy type -- and it will end badly since he will feel that you were "leading him on.""
"Men: You cannot treat your girl friends like your girlfriends. You cannot treat your girl friends like your girlfriends. You cannot treat your girl friends like your girlfriends.
"Do you let your guy friend lean his head on your shoulder? Do you let your guy friend hold your hand casually? (no shame for the guy friends who do - in fact, you probably don't have this problem since you can separate romantic and platonic intimacy) Do you listen to your guy friends talk about their feeling for hours on the phone?"
"Guys getting "signals": Look at how your friend treats their girl friends. Is it the same kinda stuff that you are interpreting as signals? Is it the stuff that is making you have feels? Grow up. Let your friend know that you have to step away from the friendship; or at the very least, let them know that *action is normally something you reserve for romantic partners and to please stop *action."
If You Wanna Be My Lover...
"I think what happens before this declaration matters a lot. Like have you both been flirting a little and does she seems receptive? Have you hung out at all just the two of you? Has she chatted with you about her romantic feelings for other people? If the answers are yes yes and no, proceed and things will more than likely go pretty well."
"I think in my personal experience, it's worst when it's completely out of left field, like you genuinely had no clue until that second. This happened to me and I just kind of agreed to go out on the spot because I liked him as a person and wanted to give it a chance. It was a bad relationship for both of us and ended with a lot of hurt feelings, and honestly it was my fault for not having more of a backbone about it."
"It's definitely awkward though, especially if you don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel unworthy or unwanted."
"What I'm getting from this thread is that the Spice Girls gave out some really bad advice in that song"
What Happens After
"Asexual aromantic here. Before I realized I'm aromantic asexual, it was confusing to me. "This person likes me and I see no problems with this person, why I don't like them back?" If course, no one has to return feelings no matter their sexual or romantic orientations. Anyway things got much easier when I now can immediate dumb people: "Sorry, I'm not looking for a relationship." Which I know is true."
"It's the aftermath that makes it or breaks it. If the guy gets what I say and returns to the platonic relationship, that's cool. However, there have been also those who do hear what I say, but they just... keep hoping. And that gets really exhausting. :/ There have been people I had to cut out of my life because they got in stuck in "what if she actually changes her mind" loop."
Rarer Than You Think
"I think I'm the only woman this has never happened to."
"You're not the only one!!"
It Doesn't Have To Be Hard
"I agree with this! I always try to be considerate in the way I respond, and I do my best to behave normally around them to send the message that it's okay for you to have told me, I don't think less of you, I really value you, it's not awkward, etc. I don't feel like other peoples' feelings toward me are a burden in any way UNLESS:"
"*They're pushy and try to convince me to give them a chance/won't accept my desire to be platonic without lashing out"
"*They won't stop talking about it and can't return to normal. I understand needing to talk about your feelings, but I'm not the appropriate person to discuss it with."
"*They completely disappear. I see a bunch of people talk about distancing themselves, and I'm okay with that as long as its communicated to me! Otherwise I am going to feel like you didn't actually value our friendship. And that circles back to the whole issue of women feeling like men are just befriending them out of romantic/sexual interest rather than genuine friendship."
"I'm still friends with several people who have had feelings for me in the past. I think we value each other and I don't feel like they're hanging around to shoot their shot or anything."
"Likewise, I've had crushes on male friends many times in the past and have behaved the way I expect them to behave toward me. If I shared my feelings and they didn't reciprocate, then oh well. I behaved normally and moved on. It wasn't always quick and painless, but it also wasn't something I let myself dwell on."
Or Can Lead To A Happy Ending
"I married him…"
"The best partners are the ones you are friends with first, so I was thrilled when my friend opened that possibility with me. We are now married."
"With other friends I have politely declined and we have returned to the friendship with no problems whatsoever."
"Not everything has to be a big deal."
Not All Black And White
"Depends on the guy, if I'm single at the time, and how he says it."
"If I'm in a relationship and it is in any way other than past tense fun story type of thing that came up naturally (as in like asking why they did something dumb in college and they are like "because I had a crush on you and was too shy to be alone with you" type of deal), I'd be pissed."
"If I'm single and think he's cute/don't think dating him would drive me crazy I'd probably feel flattered and ask him on a date right then."
"If I'm not into him I'd feel bad at first, but tell him I'm not interested and would rather just stay friends, but if he doesn't drop it I'd probably get annoyed and stop speaking to him."
"All this is assuming it is said respectfully and I don't feel trapped, if the guy was setting of my internal alarms in any way that would probably be the end of the friendship though."
The Other Side
"“Now I gotta deal with this”"
"Yeah we do too, I assure you."
"Listen I understand this is a perspective from the other side, but the amount of times we as straight men are expected to just shut off our emotions and be platonic, especially when we have to go to school, or you’re friends with our friends, where it’s unavoidable, is frankly a little absurd."
"Yeah it f*cking sucks. Compassion seems to be in a cup with a hole in the bottom for things like this I’m sure, but we’re also expected by women and other men to be aggressive about stuff so we’re being pulled in two different directions. Be assertive and lead and initiate things. Also be able to disengage immediately on request. Eventually we figure it out but it is hard."
"On one hand believe me if we could turn that switch off we would. But we can’t. It’s very uncomfortable. If we could avoid you for a long enough time for the feelings to go away we would do that too. I have definitely done that and low and behold I’ve had women complain about not being their friend anymore."
"It’s extremely frustrating."
"and by all means if someone is a jerk about it or is too aggressive yeah, I bet it sucks. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. But we’re disappointed too."
"It's awkward. I never really had guy friends, and the first one I had told me he liked me even though he knew I was engaged and had met my fiancé. I am still cordial on social media if I interact with him, but I don't see him in person anymore, as it just became weird."
"Yeah… someone like that is kind of scummy. To try and develop an emotional rapport with someone who’s in a relationship/engaged/married is f*cked up and kind of speaks to what kind of morals that person has."
Ouch! That is awkward!